Attention Hip Hoppers: Cristal Ain’t Cool Anymore

Jay-Z said he would boycott Cristal, his once-beloved bubbly, by removing it from his small chain of popular sports lounges where bottles sell for $450 and $600, over comments from Frederic Rouzaud, managing director of Louis Roederer, the company that produces it. In The Economist magazine, Rouzaud said the company viewed the affection for his company’s champagne from rappers and their fans with “curiosity and serenity.”

I love it that even rappers are so corporate these days. Boycotting a champagne company? How “street cred” is that? What’s next? 50 Cent is going to diversify his portfolio and start short-selling Wal-Mart and Lockhead Martin stock? Has rap lost its perspective? What ever happened to “f**k the police?”

I have the solution for Jay-Z. Honestly. Do what Spielberg did to E.T. the Special Edition, when he digitally replaced the guns the federal agents carried with walkie-talkies. He should re-release all of his albums with the word “Cristal” dubbed over with any other brand of champagne. That would be REAL gangsta.

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Attention Hip Hoppers: Cristal Ain’t Cool Anymore

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