Jessica Simpson and Teri Hatcher Big Boob Tips

James Joyner @ Gone Hollywood | Wednesday, June 7, 2006

In a bit of large boob serendipity, both Jessica Simpson and Teri Hatcher provide help for women seeking to accentuate their boobs in separate articles circulating the Gossipsphere today. Sort of.

LSE fills us in on Hatcher’s advice:

Teri Hatcher has recommended using super-strength tape as a cheap and easy alternative to having a boob job. View the profile for Teri Hatcher on Celebrity Spotlight.

The ‘Desperate Housewives’ star has confessed to using thick plastic sticky tape to hold her assets up and claims any women worried about their breasts are sagging should take her advice rather than go under the knife. She told Britain’s You magazine: “Any model or Hollywood actress who wears fancy designer ball gowns knows how to expertly manipulate gaffer tape to mush, lift and hold your breasts like a bra. It’s a perfect temporary boob job. “When you wear those complicated, low-cut dresses, and you’re 40, that’s how you can achieve perfect cleavage.”

Earlier this year, Teri admitted that she regrets not having a statue of her breasts made when she was younger - because they were so perfect. The actress was fiercely proud of her boobs in her twenties, and now wishes she had a bronze cast taken of them. She said: “I think they should have been bronzed at some point because there was so much hysteria surrounding them. I suppose you could have worse compliments.”

Indeed. As I understand it, they were simultaneously real and spectacular.

At Superficial, we learn of Simpson’s secret for maximizing the Wow factor with respect to her DDs: she has “the weirdest posture ever.”

She looks like a woman who’s forgotten how to be a woman, and is trying to learn all over again with the help of a manual.

Step 1. Wear an outfit that accentuates your breasts. Step 2. Stick your breasts out. Step 3. Stick your breasts out even more. Men like boobs. This concludes your guide on being a woman.

The proprietor provides several photos of Simpson’s boob-enhancing posture, one of which is thumbnailed above. In fairness, I located a photo of Hatcher, since none accompanied the story above, and included it for comparative purposes.

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