Bono Knighted

Bono has been knighted.

Irish rock star and global humanitarian Bono became a knight of the British empire Thursday â€” and joked that his youngest son thought he was about to become a Jedi instead.

Bono, 46, was named a Knight Commander of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire in an informal, laugh-filled ceremony in the Dublin home of British Ambassador David Reddaway.

“You have permission to call me anything you want â€” except sir, all right? Lord of lords, your demigodness, that’ll do,” he told reporters afterward. Because he is an Irish citizen, Bono won’t have the title of “sir” before his name. That honor is reserved for citizens of the United Kingdom or British Commonwealth countries. Ireland left the Commonwealth when it became a republic in 1949.

Reddaway paid tribute to Bono’s work as a campaigner against poverty and disease in Africa â€” but first asked whether he was disappointed that becoming a knight no longer involves a sword or kneeling. “Please, I wasn’t expecting you to kneel,” said Bono, his hand on the ambassador’s shoulder.

Accompanying the rocker were his wife, Ali, and their four children â€” Jordan, 17; Eve, 15; Elijah, 7; and John, 5. U2 guitarist The Edge and bassist Adam Clayton also attended. John was disappointed that his dad wasn’t presented with a light saber, said Bono, whose real name is Paul Hewson. “He thought I was becoming a Jedi.”

Bono sported lapel pins for two of his previous European government awards, the Legion d’Honneur from France and the Order of Liberty from Portugal.

Hecklespray‘s Stuart Heritage is not particularly impressed. His post title sums it up rather well: “Bono Given A Tiny Balding Pretend British Knighthood.”

Bono received his knighthood in recognition of his services to bleating around all the time in an unbearably self-important way. Just kidding – Bono received his knighthood in recognition of his services to being in a band that has made a successful career out of only really having two songs. Just kidding – Bono received his knighthood in recognition of his services to going “doo doo doo” on adverts for iPods. Just kidding – Bono received his knighthood in recognition of his services to wearing sunglasses indoors on overcast days like a bell-end. Just kidding – Bono received his knighthood in recognition of his services to probably something to do with charity or something.

That’s about right.

And good for Bono – although as an honorary knight we aren’t allowed to refer to Bono as ‘sir’, he does join a list of other famous knights like Paul McCartney, Elton John, Cliff Richard, Michael Caine and Pele, all of whom have their own bespoke suit of armour and jousting lance in their garages and are legally obliged to lead the charge into any country that the Queen feels like invading.

Jolly good then.
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Bono Knighted

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