Who’s The Best Movie Batman Ever?

Who’s The Best Movie Batman Ever?

Jay Pinkerton investigates this perennial question for Cracked. He uses a highly scientific formula and evaluates Adam West, Michael Keaton, Val Kilmer, George Clooney and Christian Bale based on the following key variables:

Coolness of Costume
Ass-Kicking Ability
Those Wonderful Toys
Smoothness with the Ladies
Posse
Homoerotic Subtext?

Not surprisingly, perhaps, the most recent incarnation, Christian Bale‘s, wins.

Unparalleled in the annals of Batdom. Moreso than any movie Batman before him, BatBale makes you believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he could probably kick your ass. Not only do we get an hour-long origin montage in Begins where Bruce Wayne treks up mountains and learns the deadly arts of the ninja, pretty much establishing his ass-kicking credentials from the outset…

…but you also get Christian Bale, who cranked enough steroids prior to Begins‘ filming that, no shit, the producers actually asked him to lose some muscle mass before they could start filming, since he was f[---]ing enormous.

Bale’s is my favorite incarnation as well. But he’s the first in the post-Frank Miller/Dark Knight reboot era, too.