Paris Hilton Has Switched Causes, Now Saving Drunk Elephants

Ok, ok, ok. This CANNOT be true, but it made me laugh out loud, so I had to share. Leave it to the Daily Star to give some good comedy.
Remember how Paris Hilton wanted to make big changes to her life after prison? She started out by saying she was going to Rwanda, but then that trip fell through, so I guess she’s been looking for a new cause. And the cause Paris Hilton found was drunken elephants. You know, the ones that get drunk on the home-brewed rice beer and run into electric poles. Duh.
And party monster Paris was horrified to hear that 40 squiffy elephants fought with an electric pole in the West Garo Hills district last week, which instantly electrocuted six of the blotto beasts.
So the hotel heiress is launching a campaign to encourage locals to hide their vats of home-made brew from the grey inebriates, who have started to search for the free alcohol for their benders. Of last week’s jumbo deaths, Paris said: “There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn’t chased them away.
“And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad. The biggest problems are in Assam and Meghalaya. The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them.”
Either someone is pulling a really big joke on Paris, or I am completely uninformed about the perils of Indian elephants. Both are very possible.
Source: “Paris To Save Drunk Elephants” [A Socialite's Life]
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Drunken elephants is a problem in India and other places elephants abide. They eat fallen, fermented fruit and get sh*tfaced. They then go wild running through villages, knocking down houses, and killing residents (usually sleeping). So yes, there’s a problem.
Unless Ms Hilton is going to pick all that fruit before it falls and ferments, though, her efforts are just another instance of a vacuous, clueless woman desperate for attention.