Maybe Depends should sponsor the next Black Eyed Peas tour. The day after a San Diego concert, the ‘Net was packed with pics of Fergie with a huge wet spot on her crotch.
After her publicist claimed the stain was just “sweat,” Fergie confessed she’d had a few drinks and “didn’t think to go to the bathroom” before the show.
“We were jumping around … it was all very rock ‘n’ roll. And my bladder just started … you know.”
2. Out of Sync
Milli Vanilli were busted on a 1989 tour when the tape jammed as they mouthed ‘Girl You Know It’s True.’ The public later learned that the duo hadn’t sung its vocals in the studio, either. More recently, Ashlee Simpson (left) was exposed on ‘SNL’ when the wrong recording of her vocals was triggered. Milli Vanilli responded by running offstage. Simpson fled, but tried to stomp out her embarrassment with a hoedown.
15. Stuck in a Moment You Literally Can’t Get Out Of
It was a travesty of a mockery of a sham when U2, the world’s most earnest band, went ironic for its mega-sized 1997 Popmart tour. Metaphorically speaking, it doesn’t get much more precious than the incident in Oslo when the band’s 40-foot lemon-shaped pod malfunctioned, trapping the band inside. All they could do was laugh, the Edge later admitted.
14. His Name Was Mud
At Woodstock ‘94, those incorrigible boys in Green Day took the fabled festival’s legendary history of muddy conditions to the punk-rock extreme, starting an epic mud-fight with the audience. With the stage filled with muck-covered fans, bassist Mike Dirnt was mistaken for a trespasser by a security guard, who leveled the musician, knocking out several teeth.
13. A Lot of Hot Air
Blow-up props, from Pink Floyd’s pigs to Limp Bizkit’s penis, are sure sources of amusement. In 1977, Fleetwood Mac celebrated their status as the world’s biggest band by incorporating a 70-foot penguin into their act. The problem with this particular inflatable was that it was always flaccid. “It would never fully inflate,” recalled Lindsey Buckingham. “This thing was limping and floundering at the back of the stage.”
12. Moon Shot
From shards of Pete Townshend’s guitars to black eyes from Roger Daltrey’s windmilling microphones, the Who have always been one of rock’s most accident-prone bands. But Keith Moon’s piece de resistance was the explosion he rigged during a 1967 television appearance. More powerful than planned, it propelled the drum kit and Daltrey airborne, and may have even triggered Townshend’s hearing troubles.
11. What’s My Line?
Singers forget lyrics all the time, but preferably not in front of the President. During a Kennedy Center tribute to Dolly Parton, Jessica Simpson (left) abruptly stopped in the middle ‘9 to 5.’ “Dolly, that made me so nervous,” she blurted before running offstage. Some 45 years earlier, Ella Fitzgerald blanked on ‘Mack the Knife’: “Oh, what’s the next chorus/To this song now?,” she sang. Ella laughed it off, and it won her a Grammy.
10. What a Dump!
Shock rocker Alice Cooper “retired” the huge snake used in his show for decades after an incident in Los Angeles during which the snake pooped, and pooped some more. “I never expected there to be eight piles the size of a Doberman pinscher,” Cooper later told Rolling Stone. “My whole stage costume was covered, and it smelled so bad I was gagging.” Even Johnny Rotten, who was in the audience, was impressed.
9. Thin White Stick
David Bowie has dodged his share of roses and beer cans in concert, but he surely never anticipated what would force him to leave the stage 20 minutes into a 2004 Oslo show. The Thin White Duke was hit with the thin white stick from a lollipop, hurled by a fan, which lodged inside his left eyelid. It was the same eye that he injured in a schoolboy fight with a classmate, a trauma that left the eye permanently dilated.
8. Butterflies Are Free?
The Rolling Stones’ massive 1969 concert in London’s Hyde Park became an impromptu tribute to their fallen mate Brian Jones, who was discovered at the bottom of his swimming pool two days before the gig. Mick Jagger, dressed in white, read from Shelley’s elegiac ‘Adonais’ before releasing thousands of butterflies — most of which were already dead
7. Everybody Nose
The spread for the Band’s 1976 farewell concert was a who’s who of guests (Dylan, Clapton, Neil Diamond), a feast for performers and audience alike, and, by all accounts, a schmorgasbord of illicit substances. During Neil Young’s appearance, the oblivious singer had a gob of cocaine clearly lodged in a nostril. Robbie Robertson and Martin Scorsese later had to edit the residue out of their concert film.
6. Sorry, Wrong Genre
Some rock-rap crossovers are better left unexplored. Sean “Diddy” Combs tried to pull a page from the grunge playbook when he attempted a stage dive at a tony nightclub in Ibiza, Spain, in 2005. Instead of catching the rapper and hip-hop impresario, fans moved away, and Diddy slammed to the floor. Gamely, he hobbled back onstage.
5. Meat and Greet
Invariably identified as the nutcase who bit the head off a bat, Ozzy Osbourne was on the receiving end of a somewhat less fondly remembered stunt on his ‘Diary of a Madman’ tour. A giant catapult designed to look like a hand was set up to fling raw calves’ livers and pig intestines into the audience in a kind of ritual baptism-by-butcher’s-offal. At one gig, the slaughter fell far short of its destination, landing on … Ozzy’s head.
4. A Little Birdie Told Me
Onstage in Mansfield, Massachusetts, in 2004, Cyndi Lauper threw her head back to hit a high note — and took a direct hit from a defecating bird flying overhead. The singer wiped her mouth on her sleeve and soldiered on. Later, she denied reports that the poop had landed in her mouth: “It went on my lower lip. I could not taste it … I actually considered it a good-luck sign.”
3. Basshead
Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain may have had a self-destructive streak a mile wide, but it was bandmate Krist Novoselic who put himself in harm’s way during the 1992 taping of the MTV VMAs. Near the end of the song ‘Lithium,’ Novoselic tossed his bass in the air. The guitar hit him squarely on his head, and the dazed musician stumbled offstage as his mates trashed their own instruments and taunted their nemesis Axl Rose.
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1. Black Eyed Peeing
