Brad Pitt For Mayor Of New Orleans?

Brad Pitt is a wanted man – for Mayor of New Orleans, that is. After Hurricane Katrina hit, Brad is helping rebuild the Lower Ninth Ward with the assistance of his organization, the Make it Right Foundation.

Brad is a good samaritan and a saint. He said that even though he couldn’t bring back the photographs that were lost in Katrina, maybe he could provide a better way of life for those who lived there.

Now, the people of New Orleans are speaking up! They want to nominate Brad for the office of Mayor. WearYourStory is selling Brad Pitt For Mayor t-shirts, and of each sale, will donate $2.00 to the Make It Right Foundation.

Dr. Thomas Bayer of Tulane University comprised this list of 13 reasons why Brad is qualified to run for office:

Continued…

Reason #1 – He’s Qualified

Rather than having to make vague and unpersuasive connections between clearly unrelated qualifications such as, say, franchise executive and governing abilities, the qualifications of our candidate are plainly obvious: as the worldwide audience of Homerâ€™s Troy can attest, Mr. Brad Pitt clearly has the stomach for the job, not to mention the shoulders to carry the burden of governance.

Reason #2 – NOLA â™¥’s Brad Pitt

By bestowing the great office of Mayor of our city upon Mr. Pitt, we, the citizens, are afforded the opportunity to say thanks for the many wonderful things this gentleman has already done for us. What better way to show our heart-felt appreciation than to present to him the mayoral office, the patronage trough, the cornucopia of our great city, that which we hold so dear and is ours to bequeath?

Reason #3 – Lagniappe

If we elect Brad Pitt mayor, Angelina Jolie would be the First Lady of New Orleans.

Reason #4 – Technology and Gastronomy

Instead of technology executives vying for malfunctioning anti-crime camera installation contracts and lap dances, movie moguls from everywhere will lobby the mayor to get a table on Galatoireâ€™s ground floor for the Friday before Mardi Gras all-afternoon lunch.

Reason #5 – Publicity

Publicity and photo opportunities will chase our Mayor, instead of the Mayor chasing publicity and photo opportunities.

Reason #6 – Urban Planning

We will not have to rename a street to honor his name, as Pitt Street already exists.

Reason #7 – City Council Relations

Stacy Head will be nice to the new Mayor.

Reason #8 – Economics

Instead of executive travel expenses depleting our budget, the cityâ€™s coffers will be filled through generous personal appearance fees earned by Mr. Pitt as our elected leader and ambassador.

Reason #9 – Convention Business

New Orleans will become the magnet for conventions of professional womenâ€™s organizations worldwide. The warm glow of pink Cadillacs will illuminate our Southern nights. This mass of sensually charged femininity will attract male visitors eager to contribute their economic stimulus.

Reason #10 – Jazz Fest

Instead of being greeted by the ubiquitous presence of Shell (God bless them!), visitors to Jazz Fest will be welcomed at the main entrance by our Mayor enthroned on the King of Rex Float, officiated by his Secretary of Music, Quint Davis.

Reason #11 – Rebuilding

Rather than relying on Aussie eloquence and narrative creativity or malfunctioning federal and state agencies, Mr. Pitt, as our chief executive will, instead, lead us, the local Pittwomen and Pittmen, in the fight against blight, crime, poverty and lack of humor. Dressed in period costumes and assisted by experienced producers, set builders, make-up artists, and camera operators, this cast of thousands will launch our Renaissance epic in weekly reality sequels.

Reason #12 – Transparency

Instead of having to sue for the release of public records, or to attempt to restore accidentally deleted emails, we can learn everything about our first executive from the pages of the National Enquirer and People Magazine.

Reason #13 – Integrity

Rather than governing our city to achieve fortune, fame and a book deal, our candidate already has achieved fortune, fame and MOVIE deals.