Three Reasons Why Steven Seagal is Probably Innocent

Steven Seagal may actually be innocent of the accusations recently made against him by his former executive assistant.

Kayden Nguyen, the woman who claims that she was treated as a “sex toy” and was sexually assaulted by Steven Seagal several times has a bit of a shady past. Seagal has a bit of a past of his own, which put me right on the fence when her lawsuit was announced, but now I’m leaning a bit toward Steve-O’s side.

Here are a few reasons why I think that Kayden Nguyen is full of shit:

1: Steven Seagal is an Asshole.

Yep, you read that right. I am supporting Steven Seagal because he is a known prick. An asshole. A bag of douche, if you will. Stay with me on this one.

Seagal once made a claim while on a movie set that nobody could ever choke him out. Legendary stuntman, wrestler and martial artist Gene LeBell decided to test the pony-tailed one’s theory and proceeded to choke Steven Seagal until he lost consciousness and pissed himself. Seagal was very gracious about the matter and had LeBell completely blacklisted from getting hired again. He did not sexually assault LeBell, although eyewitnesses claim that he did hit LeBell in the crotch while he was flailing on the ground.

Julianna Margulies starred in the movie Out for Justice with Seagal. She did not seem to enjoy the experience. In her words, Seagal was “the biggest jackass” she had ever worked with. Co-star and rapper DMX from the movie Exit Wounds did not enjoy his time with Steven Seagal very much either. He was quoted as saying “Steven Seagal is a fucking shithead. With fucking spray-on hair.” Take note, however, that neither one of these people claimed that Seagal touched them inappropriately.

There are many, many examples out there showing that Steven Seagal is, in fact, an asshole. If he is that open about his complete disdain for his co-workers, he probably would’ve gone ahead and admitted by now that he keeps a couple of Russian whores around at all times and likes to molest his executive assistants. Then he would’ve shrugged, walked away, and beat the shit out of someone.

2: Kayden Nguyen is Too Pretty.

I was unsure about the validity of the lawsuit until I saw this picture of Kayden Nguyen. This bitch is way too pretty to be making these claims. Here we have a prime example of a former model who has been trying to do anything and everything to break into Hollywood since the day she bought her implants. She can’t act, her one talk show appearance was horrible (more on that in a minute), and she isn’t quite infamous enough yet to release a sex tape… but it’s coming. Oh yes, it’s coming.

This all would’ve been more believable if she was of average looks, or even above average… but Kayden Nguyen is smoking hot. Which means she is full of shit.

If she was ever hired by Steven Seagal in the first place, then she had this planned from the beginning. You can’t look that good and be in the presence of someone with a working penis and not expect a little attraction. She was banking on that, and is now set on destroying Seagal’s not-so-good name.

In fact…

3. Kayden Nguyen Admits That She is a Lesbian Who Manipulates Men

Whaaaat?

Yeah, uber-bitch admitted over a year ago (January 29, 2009 to be exact) that she enjoys manipulating men. She appeared as a guest on a Tyra Banks Show episode titled “The Gay Kingdom” where she claimed to be a “lipstick lesbian” and said that she could use her “sex appeal to get any girl that I want and trick any guy to getting what I want.”

Watch part of the episode here. If you watch Tyra. I only did so that I could write this.

I swear.

So, what do you think? Steven Seagal is certainly no saint (although he is recognized as a reincarnated monk), but he is known to be a prick, which actually works for him in this situation. People hate the shit out of Steven Seagal, so if there was some dirt to be dug up, it would’ve been out there by now. Who the hell is Kayden Nguyen? Another attention whore out to make some money off of her looks and someone else’s hard work, that’s who she is.

Like I said above… keep an eye out for the Kayden Nguyen lesbian sex tape, I’m betting on it being released within a year. She’s got to capitalize on her name while it’s still high in the Google search results.

Three Reasons Why Steven Seagal is Probably Innocent

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