In the June 2008 issue of German Vogue Claudua Schiffer takes her top off for the sake of art…and shilling magazines.
She has been featured on several covers lately. Schiffer is in a less revealing spread on the Italian sector of Vogue for April and Ellen von Unwerth made her kinky side apparent for GQ a few months ago. The model even posed in a fully nude pictorial for the January issue of French Vogue.
God, who hasn’t? Hayden Panettiere is currently bedding her “Heroes” costar Milo Venti-whatever. However, she wouldn’t mind riding the love roller coaster of Angelina Jolie. Hayden doesn’t limit the boundaries of her lesbian fantasies either.
“That’s fine with me. If I’m going to be linked with someone, I could do an affair with Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, or Charlize Theron. Oh and Kate Beckinsale is gorgeous. There are so many beautiful girls.”
She joins a list of female celebs willing to go gay for her. Eve, Lindsay Lohan, Natasha Bedingfield, Kelly Rowland and Janice Dickinson are all known fans of the puffy lipped baby machine.
I must be living under a rock with an impenetrable force field. First I was unaware that Panettiere has been fighting off gay rumors. Second, I can’t seem to find the attractive quality in any of her female counterparts. Then again, I am a big fan of penis. I know…I need to step out of the box. (No pun intended.)
You think there would be nothing left by hair and giant hoop earrings and fake eyelashes.
Kim Kardashian admitted to getting her cellulite laser-ed off. She highly recommends eating as much chowder and cotton candy as you want and having your cheeks zapped clean of the telling signs of bad diet.
Her calendar photos have also hit the net. (Yes, I too am stunned with amazement as to their leak.) Kim Kardashian’s role playing photos were fashioned into a calendar for boyfriend Reggie Bush as a gift and then turned into a profit thanks to her creepy mommy dearest. Her mother, who apparently is the female equivalent to Joe Simpson, found the calendar and put it on the market.
I am guessing her mom got a flaming bag of dog crap for Mother’s Day.
Jenna Bush’s wedding appeared to be a good time. This past weekend George W. Bush’s daughter got hitched in an Oscar de la Renta gown. The President even cried during the ceremony. (He probably was trying to tie his shoe or something.)
The couple were married at the Bush family Chapel Ranch in Texas. During George’s toast he was tickled pink they were married-ified.
“This is a joyous occasion for our family as we celebrate the happy life ahead of [Jenna] and her husband, Henry.”
He also added that the ceremony itself was “awfully special” and added that they were “mighty blessed.” (Bush this isn’t the Oregon Trail.) Karl Rove and Karen Hughes were amongst the guests. They even danced.
HAHAHAH! I can just picture Bush doing the Karl Rove shuffle while Karen Hughes danced around with glow sticks.
Subsequently you know someone is going to die for this.
After getting to a brawl with a man in an L.A. Club on Saturday night, photos of the bloodied and bruised Suge Knighthave surfaced. The feud began with a small confrontation that turned ugly. Knight and his crew rushed the man he was apparently fighting over money with.
A few sources squealed to TMZ that the last words spoken by Suge before the fight began were, “I want my money!” It is currently unclear if the fight started inside or outside “Shag” nightclub, but people outside of the club broke up the fight after Suge put a man in a headlock and took his cell phone.
After breaking up the mess of men kicking and punching the man, he stood up and landed a right hook that took down Knight for over three minutes. After he came to, the posse wrangled him into a SUV and he began yelling for the stolen cell phone. Cops intervened, but Suge refuses their help and did not report the incident.
That man is lucky he landed that hook, otherwise he would now be spoken about the past tense.
Holy crap Peter Billingsley all grown up. He is now 37 and was executive producer on “Iron Man.“ You might remember him from a “Christmas Story.” Apparently he is BFF with Vince Vaughn too.
How I miss Christmas…drunk under the tree, family playing a crude version of Scattagories, opening up crap you plan on donating to the Good Will the second you get a chance and writing it off on your taxes and calling a good deed. Ahhh…the holidays.
Nick Hogan was found guilty for reckless driving. Currently he is sitting in jail in Florida. The third degree felony has put him behind bars for 8 months.
“He was also given five years of probation starting today with no alcohol during the full probation period. His license was revoked until Nick turns 21.
Nick pled “no contest” via his lawyer before Judge Philip Federico at the Pinellas (Fla.) County Court this afternoon. The family of John Graziano had asked for no less than one year in jail for Bollea.”
After the sentencing, John Graziano’s half brother was livid. Obviously not caring about what consequences Nick faces, he said that he just wants his brother to get better. He also mentioned that Nick and the rest of the Hogan family have barely spent any time with John. It was also mentioned by John’s father that the little time he spent with him he was playing with dart guns and skateboarding.
Nick stood there sans real emotion. He took the sentencing and then was immediately taken into custody. If what John’s father said is true I have a hard time feeling sorry for him. The Hulk also admitted that his show Hogan Knows Best is scripted. TMZ also mentions that his soon to be ex wife is wearing a wedding ring on her left ring finger. Interesting but beside the point. Brooke was also there in her best Sunday Whore Outfit. (Seriously she looks like a reject from Paris’ BFF contest.) Here is a bit of the play by play.
UPDATE 2:45 ET: The Hulk — Terry Bollea’s his real name — steps up: He repeats that John G. was “like a son” and that they went on family trips. Hulk says they sent John PowerBars to Iraq.
UPDATE 2:42 ET: John’s mom says, quite eloquently, “I’m not seeking revenge, only justice.” And the family and state’s witnesses are done.
UPDATE 2:36 ET: Amazing — the mom is totally holding it together in front of the judge! John’s mom Debra Graziano quite resolutely that Nick doesn’t seem apologetic — and begs the judge to find Nick guilty.
UPDATE 2:32 ET: Nick is an idiot, part 879: Ashley says that Nick’s license plate COEHSP stands for “Capable of Eluding High Speed Pursuit.” Not anymore.
UPDATE 2:27 ET: Ashley Berry, John’s girlfriend, is speaking — trying her best to, at least. She says they were together for seven years. She describes having to watch a movie with him in his hospital bed — and not knowing if he can hear or understand anything.
UPDATE 2:25 ET: Now up, John’s sister Christian Carson. She says that sometimes she tries to call him, and breaks down when she realizes she can’t. Tough. And she says that Nick has never apologized for the crash.
UPDATE 2:21 ET: Ed Graziano says that Hulk and Linda haven’t been there for John, now or even before, even though they claim he was like a “brother” to Nick. Ed asks the judge to throw the book at him.
Ugh. Remind me to never make friends with the Hogans.
Miley Cyrus discovers her inner lesbian while licking Ashley Tisdale.
The starlet recently caught in a Vanity Fair topless scandal is at it again. This time she is hanging out with this tranntacular person. I almost thought it was Brooke Hogan but aforementioned pink wigged friend is too hot to be her.
You know…the more “naughty” photos of her that I see the more I like her. At first she was purely annoying partly because she was the spawn of Billy Ray, but now she is a little scandal maker…I dig her rebel with nice extensions attitude. Have fun kid…just keep your clothes on from now on.
Oh Canada! The 2007 January Playmate of the month has scored the title of Playmate of the year.
Jayde Nicole will now be on the June 2008 issue of Playboy to officially announce her claim. The 22 year old beauty hails from Port Perry, Ontario.She has the word “respect” tattooed just above her fun box. She explained its presence on her MySpace page.
“I have a small tattoo in black old English writing that says RESPECT… for all those who ask many questions about this tattoo, here’s the deal- It’s on my lower-lower stomach, lol! I put it there so I could hide it and continue to do modeling. I got it when I left a bad relationship to remind myself that I deserved more and not to let ANYONE push you around and treat you poorly! This is very important, not just for girls, but for everyone!!!”
I was hoping it was from an Aretha Franklin fetish, but the bad boyfriend story makes more sense. Congrats!
Click Continued for the NSFW Playboy Photos
Source: Playboy Playmate of the Year Jayde Nicole [Bitten and Bound]
Paula Abdul was a dance squad queen before she became the drunk we all know and love today. Rock on with your Sharpie sniffing margarita filled rump.
Madonna was the top of the pyramid before utilizing lesbionic tactics to score press.
Cheerleaders Walking the Red Carpets
Cameron Diaz wore the oversized sweater and pleated skirt to show her school spirit.
Sandra Bullock was riding in the cheer-mobile before she set foot on a doomed bus and rescued by Keanu Reeves.
Lindsay Lohan first used her cheerleading uniform to root for the home team before using it to lure greasy socialites to her bed. I am sure it will be great for her future street corner tricks.
Cheerleaders Who Would Later Fall in Love With Botox and Paxil
Katie Couric practiced her scissor kicks before joining the D-list celeb news anchors. Oh how the mighty fall.
Cheerleaders Who Are Outwitted by Woodland Creatures and Small Children
Madge must be hard up for some press or missing Britney Spears.
Madonna pulled out another lesbian kiss for the Paris crowd during a show. She grabbed a back up dancer and locked lips with her and subsequently took a swig from a giant bottle and yelling out:
“I’m always drawn to working with French people - and frenching French people. Vive la France!”
This was after she dry humped Justin Timberlake in New York while pimping Hardy Candy and 4 Minutes.
This is the Material Girl we all know and love slutty, drunk and self indulgent. Viva la Madge. Although I am torn, because this woman is old enough to be my mother. I always fear the day I have to tell my mom to put her top back on.
What Others Said:
Webster is My Bitch- “You’re a 50-year-old, married mother of three. Why don’t you try an age-appropriate hobby like gardening or Suduko?
Right Celebrity- “I guess when you’re Madonna you can do whatever you want. No worries about your kids, or husband, or general image.”
While I am not a horror flick fan, I do find number 9 on the list of annoying people insulting. Uwe Boll can’t take criticism, but who can these days? After a few of movies sucked and the critics let him have it, he challenged the to a “boxing match.” Yes, because punching someone will prove you have the artistic skills to make films. If that is the case then Mohamed Ali is the next Steven Spielberg. To make matters worse for himself he also makes fun of the September 11th attacks.
Perez Hilton is scraping the bottom of the barrel at 8th place. The self entitled “Queen of the Media” is the subject of lawsuits when celebs hear the name of the z-lister they cringe. When fellow bloggers hear the moniker we slap our heads in shame. His barely informative dribble marked with white dots and drawings make me feel dirty. (Not in a good way.)
7th place goes to the guy who put the life of Prince Harry in danger to score some press. Matt Drudge also earns his annoyance award for defending Mark Foley’s indiscretions with congressional pages. He was also wrapped up in some “Openly Gay Canadian issues.
Chris Crocker sits happily at spot 6. This is the guy/girl…manimal that went crazy and tried to defend Britney Spears by screaming and crying with a sheet over his/her head. After comparing her to “as big of a topic as 9/11” Crocker didn’t make friends. Britney herself was insulted by the video of the rant. Good God, what do you have to do to insult someone who is kosher with shaving her head and wearing fishnet stockings while foaming at the mouth for Red Bull and blow?
The spot in fifth place is blog hater Buzz Bissinger. He was on the HBO program “Costas Now” to rip apart the blogging world. While I respect (but disagree with ) his thoughts that blogs “destroy journalism” he decided to go crazy and get violent in making his point. I hardly find it necessary to bust out my clubs and dueling pistols to chat about journalistic integrity.
4th place belongs to Michael Crook. He is the most hated for his views on the military. He is genuinely an idiot that devoted a site to “Forsake Our Troops.” The general opinion of this turd is that military men and women are “scumbags” and deserve to die. He feels that the are overpaid for putting their life on the line on a daily basis providing him with right to sit at home a be a douche bag. This is the type of guy who bitches about the military issues but is the first to call on them when our country is attacked.
Number three is, of course, Rosie O’Donnell. The former Queen of Nice now uses the internet to blog haikus of political views. (Yes I realize that rhymed.) The good thing about this is that you aren’t forced into visiting her blog.
The “Spam King” is under the scope of hatred at number two. Robert Soloway is responsible for using the net to lure people into giving out info via spam e-mail. Currently he is facing 26 years in jail thanks to charges of e-mail fraud, identity theft and tax evasion. Yes, he is the assclapper that started the “Strategic Partnership Against Microsoft Illegal Spam.”
Tila Tequila takes first place. After tempting pervs out there with the promise of bisexuality and being a total skank failed to impress the masses her music is just the icing on the cake. Page Six isn’t a fan of her or her musical endeavors…and neither are her “fans.” Her first single sold a measly 13,000 copies. Ouch.
Source: The Web’s Nine Most Obnoxious People [Switched]
It must be a welcomed break after being on Samantha Ronson.
Lindsay Lohan will be making an appearance on Ugly Betty’s season finale along with 5 episodes to begin next season. The plot line revolves around Lohan’s character coming back in Betty’s life after being mean to her in high school.
Now there is a stretch in acting. Pretty girl who was cruel to people in high school only to find compassion after being ostracized. Gee…I bet she will take home and Emmy. This will totally make her the next Meryl Streep.
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Source: Lindsay Lohan on Ugly Betty First Photos [Just Jared]
Mariah Carey landed on the cover of Vibe magazine. The June 2008 issue the almost 40 year addicted to Baby Gap’s clearance section has been airbrushed into oblivion.
Mariah recently eloped with Nick Cannon. Poor bastard. Her new video released today and you can see if by clicking here. (See I am giving you the option of self inflicted pain. It is truly interesting if you dig Mimi singing into her crystal encrusted microphone. I wonder if she has a toilet to match. What? They are both on the receiving end of her musical crap.)
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And… for your listening pleasure, here’s Miriah Carey’s official music video for her new single, “Bye, Bye.”
Lil’ Kim is the “virginal Mary” it some sort of trip that involves child molester vans, naked men and enough blow to make Gandhi reconsider.
I am guessing this is either one of three things. A promo of some kind, her interpretation of Lindsay Lohan’s Friday night or her upcoming Christmas Card. Either way it has been retouched more than Mariah Carey’s thighs.
