There seems to be a new vampire film out nearly every month especially since vampires became popular again after Twilight hit it big but not all vampires are cool. Total Film came up with a list of the 20 lamest vampires from the movies, here is the top 10 for you to feast your fangs into, yes I know that is a lame joke.
10. Blacula (1972)
The Vamp: Prince Mamuwalde (William H Marshall) is turned into a neck-chewer by Dracula himself before being trapped in a coffin for 200 years.
The Lame: The name may elicit an initial titter, but there’s no denying this ropy exploitation flick errs just a little too much on the silly side. And don’t even get us started on those eyebrows.
How To Make Him Cool: A shave and a haircut would get him halfway there.
09. Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)
The Vamp: Carmilla the Vampire Queen (Silvia Colloca).
The Lame: Exploitation can be fun, but this is just dire. Carmilla’s boring for a start, doing nothing more than floating around in a white dress with her, uh, fangs hanging out.
How To Make Her Cool: Maybe she could be a Nazi punk lesbian vampire who evades taxes and never puts the toilet seat down? Nah, still boring.
08. Dracula: Dead And Loving It (1995)
The Vamp: Count Dracula again, this time played by Leslie Nielsen.
The Lame: We love Leslie Nielsen, don’t get us wrong. Still, his campy Dracula is a goofy annoyance, sort of like that fly in the living room that won’t go near the open window no matter how hard you try.
How To Make Him Cool: Give him some evil contact lenses and a scar on his cheek. Badass.
07. Priest (2011)
The Vamp: Nameless CGI nightmares who live in underground tunnels (we think, we weren’t really paying attention) and eat people.
The Lame: They’re CGI, they look CGI, they sound CGI. Now re-read that sentence and every time we said ‘CGI’, think ‘shit’, because that’s exactly what these horrendous creations are.
How To Make Them Cool: Go back to some old school prosthetics and give those nasties a little character.
06. Blood: The Last Vampire (2009)
The Vamp: Saya (Gianna Jun), a half-breed samurai fighter who’s part human, part vampire. Oh, and she’s 400 years old.
The Lame: Unlike the cool manga movie it’s based on, The Last Vampire isn’t really bothered with letting us get to know Saya. Instead, she’s a hollow heroine set up as something of a martyr who – beyond those wicked fighting skills – isn’t really all that interesting.
How To Make Her Cool: Rewatch the manga, then copy what they did there. Why mess with a classic?
05. Vampire In Brooklyn (1995)
The Vamp: Maximillian (Eddie Murphy), who arrives in New York looking for the half-breed daughter of a vampire from his Caribbean home.
The Lame: Eddie Murphy? As a vampire? Sure he’s got a goatee and some cool yellow eyes, but we just can’t get past the idea of Murphy trying to be charismatic in a vampy kind of way. He looks more like a pimp, if we’re honest.
How To Make Him Cool: Only way around that one – cast somebody else.
04. Transylmania (2009)
The Vamp: The undead inhabitants of The Razvan University, where a group of idiotic American kids spend a semester studying – and probably dying.
The Lame: These guys are the very definition of lame. Old school vamps who live in boxes and do things like snarl and flap their arms about, they’re about as scary as a granny slurping a cup of Earl Grey. And equally as sexy.
How To Make Him Cool: Dust ‘em, dust ‘em all.
03. Dracula 2000 (2000)
The Vamp: Count Dracula (Gerard Butler), whose coffin is stolen from London and transported to New Orleans, where he’s set loose.
The Lame: “We’re all so much more complicated than our names.” Gee, thanks Drac, got a book coming out? He may be better than some of the other attempts at resurrecting Count Dracula on this list, but Butler’s Drac is still nowhere near the blood-sucking villain we want him to be.
How To Make Him Cool: Stop the talking and get a fricking haircut.
02. Queen Of The Damned (2002)
The Vamp: Lestat (Stuart Townsend), who wakes up after years in the coffin when he hears some rock music, and decides he fancies becoming a musical superstar.
The Lame: Never thought we’d say this, but – we miss Tom Cruise. At least his version of Lestat was more than just a deathly serious pretty boy. Here, poor Townsend’s stuck playing a cipher of a character while prancing around on stage in leather. It’s alright for Britney, not for vampires.
How To Make Him Cool: Alright, he’s got the leather and the porcelain beauty, but what about his mind? Dig deeper into Lestat’s character, and he may just have some cooler shades to show.
01. Buffy The Vampire Slayer (1992)
The Vamp: Amilyn (Paul Reubens), the undead manslave to head vamp Lothos (Rutger Hauer).
The Lame: This guy just doesn’t know when to croak. Even when Buffy’s staked him, he hangs around like a crap punchline that can’t find a decent place to die. Lothos is not much better – a cape-wearing preener whose bark is worse than his bite.
How To Make Him Cool: Have David Boreanaz play him.
I would agree with every single one of these, how about you? To see the rest of the top 20 head on over to Total Film.
There was an awful lot of drama behind the scenes of the “Transformers” movies, and as it turns out, it was an interview about the trouble, not the issues themselves, that got Megan Fox fired from the series.
Michael Bay broke his silence for the first time about why Fox was replaced after two films as Shia LaBeouf‘s lady co-star, saying that it was her unfortunate dictatorial comparison that did her in.
“You know the Hitler thing. Steven (Spielberg) said, fire her right now,” Bay said, according to the Daily Mail. Spielberg is the executive producer on the films, and the Hitler thing refers to comments she made to Wonderland Magazine in 2009.
“He’s like Napoleon and he wants to create this insane, infamous mad-man reputation,” Fox told the magazine. “He wants to be like Hitler on his sets, and he is. So he’s a nightmare to work for but when you get him away from set, and he’s not in director mode, I kind of really enjoy his personality because he’s so awkward, so hopelessly awkward. He has no social skills at all. And it’s endearing to watch him.”
Following her dumping from the film, Fox claimed that it was her idea to leave, with her rep telling People Magazine, “”It was her decision not to return. She wishes the franchise the best.”
LaBeouf, never one shy to share his opinions, recently gave some insight to some of the disagreements that Fox and Bay had on set.
“Megan developed this Spice Girl strength, this woman-empowerment [stuff] that made her feel awkward about her involvement with Michael, who some people think is a very lascivious filmmaker, the way he films women,” LaBeouf told the Los Angeles Times. “Mike films women in a way that appeals to a 16-year-old sexuality. It’s summer. It’s Michael’s style. And I think [Fox] never got comfortable with it. This is a girl who was taken from complete obscurity and placed in a sex-driven role in front of the whole world and told she was the sexiest woman in America. And she had a hard time accepting it. When Mike would ask her to do specific things, there was no time for fluffy talk. We’re on the run. And the one thing Mike lacks is tact. There’s no time for [LaBeouf assumes a gentle voice] ‘I would like you to just arch your back 70 degrees.’”
In her place, Bay hired Victoria’s Secret model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley to play LaBeouf’s new love interest. “Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon” hits theaters June 29th.
Here is the first image of Sacha Baron Cohen in his Saddam Hussein-inspired costume for his new film, “The Dictator.”
The movie is about a Hussein-like dictator who gets secretly replaced by a lookalike goat herder and now must find new meaning in a life in New York City. The film is inspired by “Zabibah and the King,” a book about a benevolent dictator that was revealed to be written by Hussein himself.
Creepy.
No matter how big the beard, they haven’t been able to hide Sacha.
Directed by Larry Charles, the film hits theaters May 11th, 2012.
Science fiction fans prepare yourselves! The Rise of the Planet of the Apes film will be hitting theaters this August 5th and is certainly poised for greatness, much the way the original set of films were.
If you were disheartened by the sub-par remake by filmmaker Tim Burton, you weren’t the only one. I was so disappointed that I almost shrugged off this prequel.
But based on behind the scenes footage as well as the first trailer, my faith has been renewed.
The brand new second trailer for the film dropped last night, and I must say it looks amazing.
Check it out and comment on whether or not we’ll be seeing you in line at the theaters this August!
If you have seen The Pirates of the Caribbean 4 over the weekend then you will have most likely seen the first trailer for the upcoming The Muppets movie and as you can see above it’s not your typical trailer.
The trailer starts out with a fake trailer for a fake movie, Green With Envy, that is basically your typical rom-com stuff (they even created a fake poster which you can see below).
James Bobin is the director behind the movie while Jason Segel and Nicholas Stoller wrote the script for it. Amy Adams, Chris Cooper and Segel all star in the movie along with a bunch of other cameos.
The Muppets is set for release on November 23rd, I for one will definitely be checking it out. Will you?
If you’re a fan of the Scream franchise then there is good news for you today because it has been announced that Ghostface will return for Scream 5 because it has been given the greenlight.
Harvey Weinstein did an interview with MTV and announced that despite Scream 4 only making $01 million so far, I know that’s still pretty good but for a film as big as Scream it should have made more, they will be going ahead and making a fifth installment to the franchise. Here is what he had to say:
“Foreign [sales] are so strong that we’ll do over $100 million worldwide, it’s at $90 now, with about five or six major countries to go and a lot of small ones. We’ll probably do $110 million. I wish it would have been better domestically, but it’s not the worst thing in the world that’s ever happened.”
I love the Scream franchise and was more than happy with how Scream 4 turned out so I’m pretty excited for them to go ahead and make a fifth film. No word on casting yet so we don’t know if Neve Campbell, David Arquette or Courteney Cox will return. What’s your thoughts on them making another Scream?
Well here is the first look of Ed Harris dressed up as John McCain for his role in HBO’s upcoming move, Game Change, which is about McCain’s 2008 presidential campaign.
Last month we were treated to a sneak peak of Julianne Moore in her role as Sarah Palin, I think both of them look very convincing. What do you think?
I completely forgot that they had on planned on remaking ‘Total Recall’ but it’s still going ahead and according to The Hollywood Reporter Ethan Hawke has signed on to appear in the movie.
It’s unknown exactly what Ethan’s role will be yet but what we do know is that the Colin Farrell will be the lead in the remake of the 1990 classic and it’s believed that Bryan Cranston will play the villain in the movie.
On top of having this cast both Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel are in negotiations to play the female leads in the film, I wonder if one of them will play the 3-breasted woman? Probably unlikely but I can hope, right?
The movie is supposed to start shooting next month in Toronto so I guess details will start leaking about Ethan’s role. What do you think of the cast? I myself think they should just leave the original movie alone.
If you haven’t heard about this new movie, ‘Unlawful Killing’, yet then you’re more than likely about to hear about it loads over the coming days. It’s a documentary about the death of Princess Diana and is set to debut at the Cannes Film Festival on Friday. Here is the trailer.
The documentary raises a lot of questions that have still to this day gone unanswered and so it is bringing up old debates surrounding the death of Princess Di back in 1997. Keith Allen is the director behind this documentary and basically goes into the conspiracy as to whether Diana’s death was indeed an accident or if in fact it was a plan by the Royal Family to kill her.
Gawker reports that the movie will even show a death photo of Diana that was taken while she was lying in the French tunnel after the accident. Now I’m all for conspiracy’s and stuff but to include a photo like this to me is just distasteful.
By the way this has been banned in the U.K. because the Royal Family don’t want this film to be seen by anybody. I for one will be watching this. Will you?
I didn’t even know they were making a Final Destination 5 because the franchise was supposed to end after the fourth installment but here pops up a trailer for the fifth movie and I have to say it looks quite good.
The movie will follow the format of it’s predecessors in that a bunch of good looking teenagers will escape dying in a terrible accident but death will soon start to follow them and one by one they will end up dying.
This time the accident looks like it will take place when a bridge collapses and then things go from there, one girl appears to die during lasik eye surgery. Tony Todd will reprise his role as a coroner in the film, although he hasn’t appeared in the franchise since the second movie.
I have to admit I do love these films and I will definitely be checking this one out because it looks like it’s finally gone from trying to be funny to actually being a horror movie.
I’m not going to lie, at first I thought this was a photo of the real Sarah Palin but it’s actually a photo of Julianne Moore dressed up as Palin for her new HBO movie Game Change.
The movie, which went into production yesterday, follows John McCain‘s 2008 presidential campaign where he picked Palin as his second in command. Ed Harris will take on the role of McCain while Woody Harrelson will play Steve Schmidt and Melissa Farman will portray Bristol Palin.
We all know that Palin isn’t one bit happy about this movie but honestly who really cares about her opinion? I think the resemblance uncanny, what about you?
Have you watched a movie that is absolutely dreadful but yet you can’t turn it off and find yourself glued to the screen? There is plenty of them but Screen Junkies have come up with a list of the 5 best worst movies ever created. Some of them are so bad but you can’t help but think they are cinematic masterpieces. Take a look for yourself:
5. “Con Air”
It should come as no surprise to see a Nicolas Cage movie on this list. Cameron Poe (Cage) is finally getting out of prison, after killing a man in an act of self defense. He is clamoring to get home to see his beautiful wife and little girl. During transport of crazy convicts aboard a plane, those convicts high jack the plane. A guilty pleasure for sure. Cage puts on a horrid accent and sports another awful coif. A stellar cast (Steve Buscemi, John Malkovich, Danny Trejo, Ving Rhames and Dave Chappelle) assist Cage in some scenery chewing acting.
4.”Ladybugs”
Many may have forgotten about this 1992 comedy, while others may choose to simply block it from their minds. In an attempt to climb the corporate latter, Chester (Rodney Dangerfield) agrees to coach a girl’s soccer team. He soon realizes that the girls are terrible athletes and he must come up with a ringer in order to win a game. He enlists his future stepson, Matthew, to put on a blonde wig and become a part of the team. 90′s minor heartthrob plays Matthew/Martha, a kid who initially joins out of bribery but sticks around when he discovers that his dream girl is also on the team. A ridiculous plot, that is fairly sexist but also pretty funny.
3. “Drop Dead Fred”
Lizzie (Phoebe Cates) goes through a mental and emotional breakdown after her husband requests a divorce. Some women have their own ways of dealing with such pain, Lizzie deals by allowing her childhood imaginary friend, drop dead Fred, come back into her life. The problem with Fred is that he is a bit of a jerk and causes far too many problems that become poor Lizzie’s fault. “Drop Dead Fred” attempts to be a Tim Burton type film but fails to bring the same amount of whimsy. Phoebe Cates is lovely but Rik Myall (Fred) is just irritating.
2. “Spice World”
This is a film that is more silly than awful. In 1997 we were all living in a world of spice. The five pop stars with girl power were everywhere, so why not make a film where they are the stars? When you become that famous you can do anything you want, including asking Elton John to be in your movie.
1. “Showgirls”
Like Randy from “Scream 2″ says when claiming that “Showgirls” is his favorite scary movie, it truly is “absolutely frightening.” The acting is atrocious, proving that Elizabeth Berkeley had much better acting chops in “Saved by the Bell.” The idea that the protagonist (Berkeley) was such an amazing dancer, yet looks like she was having some sort of spastic fit most of the time. Let us not forget the classic pool sex scene featuring Berkeley and Kyle MacLachlan, a love scene that appeared to include some sort of seizure. There is a reason “Showgirls” is often recalled as a terrible movie and cult classic, it has the entertainment value and pure audacity of trying to be a legitimate drama.
Yeah I’d agree with this list, especially Spice World. The teenager in me can’t ever let myself hate this movie. What do you think of the list? Would you add anything to it?
Lindsay Lohan will appear in the upcoming ‘Gotti: Three Generations’ movie.
After days of conflicting reports, it’s now confirmed that the actress will play mafia man John Gotti Jr.’s wife, Kim Gotti, in a two-movie deal. In addition to ‘Gotti,’ Lohan will also appear in ‘Mob Story.’
“We’re very pleased to have Lindsay on-board for both of these films,” executive producer Marc Fiore said in a statement. “She has been very enthusiastic about the Gotti project, and after resuming discussions with her, we were impressed by her commitment to the film and felt she would be a perfect Kim Gotti.”
Lohan was previously in discussions to play Victoria Gotti, but talks eventually broke down between her management team and the producers. Fiore even announced earlier in the day that negotiations with Lohan had ended and she would not be appearing in the film.
But Lohan patched things up and officially joined the cast. “I’m really excited to be back on set and clear up all the misinterpretations about me and show this is what I love to do,” Lohan told the Associated Press. “I think it’s such an iconic story. I’m honored to be working with John Travolta and Joe Pesci.”
It’s been 15 years since the first Scream came out in theaters and instantly became a classic and it’s been 11 years since Scream 3 came out. Now Scream 4 is set to be released tomorrow, and I can’t wait for it, so to celebrate this Digital Spy have come up with a list of the five best Scream death scenes. See if your favorite is on it:
05. Liev Schreiber – Scream 3
The initial suspect in the murder of Sidney Prescott’s mother Maureen, Cotton Weary was in fact framed by original killers Billy Loomis and Stu Macher. Cotton, who was having an affair with Maureen at the time of her death, parlayed his trauma into becoming a Z-list celebrity. A talk show host by the time Scream 3 rolled around, Cotton and his girlfriend Christine (Kelly Rutherford) met a grisly end at the start of part 3 when Ghostface came looking for Sid…
04. Sarah Michelle Gellar – Scream 2
Sarah Michelle Gellar was defining her career in the first season of Buffy the Vampire Slayer when she appeared in 1997′s hastily-assembled Scream sequel. It’s a clever bit of casting, as SMG’s smart-lipped sorority girl Casey ‘Cici’ Cooper gets nowhere near being “the final girl” as she carks it on campus. A knife in the back and drop off a balcony sees Buffy bite the dust in the clip below, which has a cracking ‘jump’ misdirection at the 3-minute mark and also features the voice of Gellar’s Cruel Intentions co-star Selma Blair…
3. Rose McGowan – Scream
“You wanna play psycho killer? Can I be the helpless victim?” Rose McGowan’s Tatum Riley almost gets away from Ghostface. But alas, that garage exit is just a bit too small for her to squeeze through. Getting squelched up against the ceiling is an undignified and painful end for Sidney’s best pal. Incidentally, Rose McGowan allegedly discovered during filming that she could fit all the way through the pet flap of doom…
2. Jamie Kennedy – Scream 2
Randy Meeks’s knowledge of horror cinema’s rules and conventions helped him survive the first Woodsboro bloodbath (just about!), but when it came to the sequel he was all out of luck. Played with a nerdy exuberance by Jamie Kennedy, Randy’s murder in the back of a truck was not met favourably by Scream fans so Craven resurrected the character via a recorded video message for Scream 3.
1. Drew Barrymore – Scream
It had to be this, didn’t it? The opening scene to Scream shocked cinemagoers and perfectly sets up the self-referential, satirical tone for the horror franchise. Drew Barrymore, who was on the verge of a career resurgence at the time, could’ve been the star of the franchise… Not so in Craven and writer Kevin Williamson’s mind. The pair rip a page out of Alfred Hitchcock’s book (Psycho famously offed Janet Leigh early), killing Drew’s Casey Becker in the opening minutes as she waits for her boyfriend. It sums up Scream’s ethos perfectly: Nobody is safe!
Of course Drew’s had to be number 1 but I would have made Sarah Michelle Gellar’s number 2. What are your thoughts?
Some people might consider Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson to be some of the hottest in Hollywood so you would imagine a sex scene between them both would be good. Not for her, she says it was disgusting.
Reese and Robert both star in their new movie ‘Water for Elephants’ and in it they are supposed to have a hot love scene and while most girls in the world would kill for this opportunity she says filming it made her stomach turn.
Speaking to InTouch Weekly she says “Rob possibly had the most hideous horrible cold of any co-star I’ve ever had to do a love scene with ever in my entire life. He was literally snorting and snotting through every second of it – and it was not appealing. I’m talking green, infectious, disgusting – I’m not kidding! I’m going to say it’s a little bit of a downer. I was a little disappointed. It wasn’t sexy.”
I won’t be watching this movie because it’s not my cup of tea at all but I will probably YouTube the sex scene just to see the exact moment when Reese was wanting to puke down his mouth.
