The utterly grief-stricken pixie of doom, Tila Tequila, has decided to go on camera to discuss the devastating loss of her “fiance” Casey Johnson.
I’m kidding. She had no comment about Casey Johnson, she just wanted to stand around looking like a drug addled freak while talking about appearing on Larry King and her upcoming “projects” while admitting that she’s an attention whore.
You may have heard of Karen Sala as the nutcase from Canada who claimed that Keanu Reeves fathered her children. She was suing him for $3 million in child support for her four adult children.
Even after Reeves submitted to paternity testing, which was obviously negative, Sala persists. She said, “I do know for a fact that he is the biological father.”
To prove it, she’s laid out some errr…facts, for your consideration:
Claim #1: Keanu Reeves knows hypnosis
Sala believes that Reeves used hypnosis to tamper with the DNA results of the paternity tests. She is so convinced that she requested he undergo another series of testing, to which his lawyer has already refused.
Claim #2: Keanu Reeves is a master of disguise
Sala believes that Reeves has used his shapeshifting ability to alter his looks and pass himself off as her own ex-husband. Why do that? So they could shack up and make babies, of course.
Claim #3: Keanu Reeves is not Keanu Reeves
Sala says that Reeves used to live right down the street from her and used the name Marty Spencer. She said, “I didn’t know he was Keanu Reeves. To me he was Marty Spencer.” It was then that they hooked up during her marriage and she claims to have popped out four of his kids.
Someone needs to lock this loon up already and stop letting her waste taxpayer money to try such ludicrous claims in court. What a psycho.
source: Keanu Counters Crazy Claims: Hypnosis, Disguises and Pseudonyms, Oh My – [e-online]
If you’re a junkie in the New York area and you weren’t sure of how to inject dangerous drugs into your system, then let Michael Bloomberg show you the proper steps.
In a 16-page pamphlet, it offers tips and helpful hints on how to do drugs without dying. Lovely.
It’s chock-full of tips on getting clean needles and treating potential overdoses. I just have to wonder if they’re also including an RFID chip in these packets, so that they can bust those who are using.
The talented actor and comic first rose to fame dressed up as man-hungry woman Wanda on the “In Living Color” comedy series in the early ’90s. And Jamie has been plagued by gay rumors ever since he did a striptease for some male fans and was photographed wearing a bizarre, funny bunny g-string in 1993.
On the internet, one blogger maintained that a chief reason for speculation about his sexuality is because a scorned woman, who Jamie reportedly rejected, spread the rumors that he preferred men.
The reality is that the 42-year-old single star has a 14-year-old daughter and is often seen gallivanting with beautiful women.
Crazy how rumors progress and suddenly that makes him gay, isn’t it? But the g-string is a bit strange.
source: WTF????? OLD PHOTOS OF ACTOR JAMIE FOXX SURFACE . . . HE’S ONLY WEARING A G-STRING . . . AND REPORTEDLY DANCING FOR A GROUP OF MEN!!!! – [mediatakeout]
In today’s weird news, a two year old boy was admitted to a hospital in Ibotirama, northern Brazil yesterday after complaining of pain. Doctors did some X-rays and were shocked at what they discovered.
Inside the toddler they discovered over 50 metal sewing needles that were apparently inserted into his body one by one. Doctors hope to remove most of the needles, including some that are in his lungs, but there are needles that are puncturing the child’s organs that can’t be removed.
The boy’s mother has said that she has no idea how the needles ended up in the toddler, but Brazilian police aren’t retarded, so they’ve opened an investigation anyway.
The boy’s father, Gessivaldo Alves, suggested that his son has been the victim of a black magic ritual, because the home of the mother and her husband allegedly contained items that could be used to do evil things. Evil things like sticking 50 damned needles into your child.
Now for the really odd part…
Dr. Luiz Cesar Soltoski told the Associated Press that there is no way the child could have swallowed the needles, stating:
“We think it could have only been by penetration because we found needles in the lung, the left leg and in different parts of the thorax. It couldn’t have been by ingestion.”
However, doctors have found no evidence of outside wounds on the child. None.
The boy is in intensive care, but appears to be improving since being admitted to the hospital.
source: Brazil toddler has 50 sewing needles inside body [Associated Press]
Burger King’s ad campaigns have become incredibly weird and uncomfortable in recent years, particularly the spots featuring a disturbing big-headed King mascot. In its latest and most inappropriate (depending upon whom you ask) offering, Burger King is currently targeting British men with a crude and base promotion that has nothing to do with food or the hamburger chain.
The U.K. ‘Burger King Presents… Singing in the Shower’ Web site features a bikini-clad model who belts out popular tunes while cavorting in the shower. Viewers can actually vote on upcoming songs and bikinis, which, of course, feature predictable and lame double-entendres that incorporate words like “buns.”
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The campaign definitely seems to have been initiated by pubescent boys, as the site offers the childish tag-line of “Watch our shower babe shake her bits to the hits.” Real classy, BK. Check out the site’s current vid, as long as you meet the easily bypassed age-requirement, to see BK give new meaning to “treating women like a piece of meat.”
source: Burger King Beguiles Hungry Men With Shower Babe [VIDEO] [Discussion (0)
While students at Brooklyn’s James Madison High School were attending a talent show in the auditorium, a show of another sort was going on in a classroom.
Alini Brito (left), and Cindy Mauro (right)
Married Spanish teacher Alini Brito, 29, and French teacher Cindy Mauro, 33, were caught in the lewd and nude act by a janitor, who reported them to school officials on November 20th.
Both teachers have been reassigned to a center commonly known as the “rubber room”, where Department of Education members are sent while being investigated for misconduct.
DOE spokeswoman Margie Feinberg stated:
“Madison High School is investigating an incident of employee misconduct while the school was having an event in the assembly during the evening of Nov. 20. The two teachers, who are tenured, have been reassigned, pending the outcome of the investigation.”
An 18 year old junior named Eddie Ramirez told NBC:
“[Mauro] was pretty fun, she dressed like a teenage girl — she’d wear low-cut tops, shorts, three-quarter length jeans. She was kinda sexy.”
source: Hot for Teachers: Women Caught Naked in Classroom [MSNBC]
Hilary Duff has supposedly gotten the word “shine” tattooed on her hand. I say supposedly because there are no pictures of this retarded tattoo yet, so there is a chance that she really isn’t a moron.
Why would she do this, you ask? Hilary says:
“It’s just for me to look at and remember. I feel like it’s easy to lose your shine, to lose that special thing about yourself. When you get busy or you get tired and you feel like everything is fake or the world is against you, it’s important to keep your character and to let your light shine.”
So Hilary Duff claims that she got the word tattooed on her hand to remind her to always sparkle, but I think she got it because she secretly wants to be a twinkly Twilight shampire. She’s too old for Robert Pattinson, so maybe this is a way for her to have something in common with him?
Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against tattoos at all. I myself am heavily tattooed. The difference is, I am a big unattractive dude that only goes out in public to visit the nearest bar and get sloshed while glaring at the people around me in an attempt to make friends. The tattoos help in this situation.
Actually, I may have just gotten an idea from Miss Duff. I think that I’m going to go get the word “drink” tattooed on my hand, so that when I’m sitting at a bar holding a beer and spot some easy looking barfly out of the corner of my eye, I simply have to look at my hand to remind me why I am there.
source: HILARY DUFF – DUFF’S NEW TATTOO REMINDS HER TO SHINE [Contact Music]
A man in Parma, OH dressed in a Santa Claus suit tried to abduct a 12 year old girl earlier today, pretty much guaranteeing that future Christmas holidays will be nightmare inducing screamfests.
Anthony Russo, 46, was hiding in the bushes when he motioned for the 12 year old girl to come over to him. Since this is not 1954, the girl smartly kept walking, which apparently pissed Santa off.
Russo grabbed the young lass by the arm and tried to drag her away, but she broke free and ran to a local business for help. The brilliant (alleged) pedophile then decided that escaping on a city bus was a good idea, because he could blend in. In his Santa suit. Carrying a red sack that said “Merry Christmas” on it. Also carrying a large box of candy canes.
A 17 year old Ohio County, Indiana kid showed no remorse when telling prosecutors that he had fantasized about killing someone for years, and modeled himself after TV’s Dexter.
Andrew Conley, aka “psychotic little douchebag”, murdered his 10 year old brother Connor by putting him in a headlock and spending 20 minutes choking him after they wrestled. He also planned to kill his father.
Prosecutor Aaron Negangard stated:
“He’s a cold-blooded murderer, he spoke with no emotion, no remorse, in describing the death of his brother. This was a deliberate murder.”
While his parents were at work, Conley put his little brother in the choke hold, and said that the little guy’s last words were “Andrew, stop”.
He dragged his brother into the kitchen, got a pair of gloves, and preceded to choke Connor for an additional 20 minutes until he bled from the mouth and nose. He then put a plastic bag over Connor’s head and used electrical tape to secure it around his neck.
After making a stop at his girlfriend’s house, he dumped the body in a wooded area near the elementary school that Connor attended.
During his interrogation, the nutbar told police that he “just felt like” Dexter, from the Showtime show of the same name.
When asked why he killed Connor, Andrew stated:
“Like I had to … like when people have something like they are hungry and there is a hamburger sitting there and they knew they had to have it and I was sitting there and it just happened.”
source: Andrew Conley, 17, charged with murder in the death of his brother, Conner Conley, 10, in Rising Sun., Ind. [Cincinnati.com]
Tila Tequila is proving yet again that she’s pretty much a useless washed up “celebrity”, full of venom and nuttier than a Payday candy bar.
Today’s Tila craziness comes in the form of a long, barely literate rant that she posted on her blog, where she claims that Rihanna has herpes, and she is a fan of Chris Brown.
Rihanna was recently on a LA radio show called Big Boy and the Morning Show, and supposedly started bashing Tila. Rihanna stated:
“Oh, Tila Tequila! Hell yes. Same thing . I don’t like when people talk about me and don’t know me and don’t know what they’re sayin’ and sound stupid. I saw her [Tila] backstage at the AMA’s one year… [laughs] She was just standing there with a drink in her hand, even though she doesn’t drink she had a drink in her hand, whatever.”
Well, of course this made Tila Tequila’s overused vagina hurt, so she felt the need to spew forth some angry claims of her own, including gems such as:
“SO after I listed to Rihanna bad mouthing me, my first reaction was “WOW! WHAT A BITCH! AND A TOTAL LIAR! WOWWWW!’ … RiRi….babygirl….First of all, I have NEVER been to ANY AMA Award show….so why are you lying about that? However, I DO remember seeing you at the MTV MUSIC AWARDS, so maybe that’s the one you were talking about, but who knows, you probably don’t remember because you’re so full of yourself and always drunk so I don’t blame u for getting confused.”
Ok, so she answered the accusation. Good job. But did she let it drop there? Of course not, this is Tila Tequila’s crazy ass we’re talking about, after all.
She posted several pictures of Rihanna, supposedly drunk. (Click thumbails for larger images)
Tila then began dropping her “big secrets”:
“So here comes the good part. You want to get on my sh*tlist? Well congrats hunny, you have officially made it on my sh*tlist & this is what close sources has told me:
HIDDEN SECRETS REVEALED FROM INSIDE SOURCES: RIHANNA HAS HERPES!!!!!!!!!! OMGGGG!
Wow, I’m sorry girlfriend, but you were cool until u decided to open up your mouth about me so I have no choice. Everyone in the entertainment industry knows, you just do not f*ck with Tila Tequila and think you can get away with it! Even Perez Hilton knows that(that’s another inside story I have about him & myself, but I will post about that in another blog).
So everyone, yes…..I heard from legit sources, that is the HUGE SECRET our prestine, perfect little Princess RiRi, the “IDOL” has been hiding from the media. A very close source of mine, who works in the same legal camp as Rihanna, has told me that the reason why Rihanna wasn’t speaking out about the CHRIS BROWN incident is because there was a catch 22 in it. Rihanna has herpes, and….well……I don’t wanna put anyone else on blast, but Rihanna has herpes and gave someone else herpes that she had slept with.”
Nice one, Tila. Stay classy.
Of course, the trailer trash demon that possesses Tila’s stained little soul wouldn’t let her stop there, either. She continued:
“NOTE TO CHRIS BROWN: I honestly think that you have paid your dues, and I’m definitely on TEAM CHRIS NOW! GO CHRIS! YOU CAN MAKE YOUR COMEBACK AND I FULLY SUPPORT YOU! You have admitted to what you did, and apologized numerous times, You have learned from your mistakes and I think people should really leave that in the past now and let you do your thing. TEAM CHRIS! Love ya baby! And Im glad we squased that beef we had! Love ya!”
If you want to give yourself a headache, read the full rant here.
Why is Tila Tequila even famous? What talent does she possess? I’m pretty sure that Tila knows everyone who has herpes, since she invented STDs in her cesspool of a crotch.
source: Rihanna Has Herpes (Tila Tequila Claims) [Hollywood Dame]
Anyway, in today’s “WTF” news, a 66 year old Northern Irish church elder named John William McConaghy was recently convicted of “indecently assaulting a child”, but his two-and-a-half year jail sentence was suspended because his giant fat ass means his health is at risk.
Because the world cares about a child molester’s health.
McConaghy’s victim, now 44, said that she was sexually assaulted from the time that she was 10 until she was 18, and the fat scumbag only quit all the touching of the no-no areas when she fought back and scratched his face.
The moral of this story is: if you decide to do something morally reprehensible and horrible to someone, make sure that you are a hugely obese waste of air first.
Then you’ll get a fine or something.
source: Sex abuse church elder McConaghy ‘too fat for jail’ [BBC News]
In today’s bizarre news, I proudly bring you Bebe Gloton… the breast feeding doll that comes with a nipple bra for your child!
Available only in Spain, Bebe Gloton (which means “greedy baby”) looks just like your run of the mill life-like doll baby, but with a special new talent.
For the bargain basement price of only 44 euros, your five year old daughter can strap on a halter top with strategically placed nipple flowers, and Baby Gloton will make really cool sucking sounds when your precious child puts the doll’s mouth to her chest! It will then begin crying until it is burped, but after that bit of unpleasantness it can be pulled right back to the flower nipple to renew it’s gluttonous slurping.
This thing is awesome. By awesome I mean… WTF?!
Many parents in Spain so far have been more than happy to buy the doll for their children, believing that it encourages breast feeding when they have their own children. However hate mail has been pouring in from people who aren’t insane.
One comment read,
“Honestly, I think this is awful. Now let me just be clear, I think breastfeeding is wonderful and wholeheartedly encourage it, however, it is completely inappropriate to allow a young girl to mimic it. Yes, breastfeeding is completely natural, but it is something that only adults do, not children. It would actually disgust me if I were to see a child using this “toy”.”
What do you think, readers? Is this more inappropriate than a doll that craps itself? Personally I’d rather my child know how to change a diaper than know how to breast feed.
Maybe I’m strange though.
source: Parents’ fury as breastfeeding doll for young girls goes on sale [Daily Mail]
James Cameron, the director of the soon-to-be-released flashy yet craptastic film Avatar, was interviewed by 60 minutes yesterday to discuss the upcoming film.
In the interview, James talks about sitting down with the head of Orion, who wanted famous football player and double murderer OJ Simpson to play the title role in The Terminator.
James Cameron stated:
“The head of Orion, who were gonna release Terminator, called me up and said, ‘Are you sitting down? I have cast this movie. I was at a party, and it’s OJ Simpson for the Terminator.’
And I said ‘This is the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.’ “
Can you imagine? Watching OJ Simpson appear naked in a blue light from the future, to hunt, stalk and attempt to brutally murder an innocent blond woman and her boyfriend?
Awkward.
Not to mention the fact that if Arnold Schwarzenegger hadn’t received the role of the relentless robot, California probably would not have such an excellent Governator now.
source: JIM CAMERON ON 60 MIN: STUDIO WANTED OJ FOR TERMINATOR [Film Drunk]
It is being reported now that the car accidentTiger Woods was taken to the hospital for yesterday was not the cause of his injuries.
His wife was.
TMZ reports that Elin Nordegren, hot wife of accused cheater Tiger Woods, was furious over the rumors about Tiger’s indiscretions with party planner and known home-wrecking douche Rachel Uchitel, who most recently made headlines while sleeping with David Boreanaz while his wife was pregnant.
A source that spoke with Tiger yesterday told TMZ that Elin scratched Tiger’s face several times, and when he tucked his tail and beat feet out the door, she followed him with a golf club, beating his Escalade with it and smashing the back window. Apparently, this caused Tiger to slam into a fire hydrant and then bounce off his neighbor’s tree in an attempt to flee his enraged wife.
I hope Tiger didn’t really cheat on his gorgeous, classy wife with a sleazy whore.
I mean, seriously, Rachel Uchitel is only a semi-known name because of the picture of her crying in the NY Times after losing her boyfriend in the 9/11 attacks, which she then capitalized on to promote her party planning, which she then used to sleep with a famous dude while his wife was at home pregnant.
She’s a real winner.
source: Tiger Woods: Injuries Caused by Wife, Not SUV [TMZ]
