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Thank God it’s Friday! We’ve got some of the funniest quotes for you today! Between Jessica Simpson trash talking “Melrose Place” to Kristen Stewart calling herself a lesbian. Enjoy!
“Who writes this crap? i have had bad scripts to work with, but this? thank God my sister is amazing and got you some press.”
– Big sis Jessica Simpson, blasting “Melrose Place” after recent news that her sister Ashlee Simpson-Wentz had been cut from the show, on Twitter
“I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears.”
– Rihanna, on the media storm that followed her physical attack by ex-boyfriend Chris Brown
“Sarah was a little nuts before. Don’t get me wrong. I loved the nuts that she was.”
– Freddie Prinze Jr., on the calming effect their new baby Charlotte has had on his type-A wife Sarah Michelle Gellar
“I felt completely rancid!”
– Mariah Carey, on her glammed-down role in the new film “Precious”, at the movie’s AFI Audi Film Festival premiere
“I think I’m just misunderstood. I’m not a fame seeker. Everyday I look in the mirror and I wonder [why I'm famous]. I don’t sing. I don’t dance. I’m not a Nobel Peace Prizewinner. I just had eight kids and I had a show on TLC.”
– Jon Gosselin, trying to redeem himself during a public dialogue with celebrity Rabbi Shmuley Boteach in New York City
“I love the smell of diapers.”
– Sarah Jessica Parker, on just how much she loves being a mom
“There’s no answer that’s not going to tip you one way or the other. Think about every hypothetical situation: ‘Okay, we are. We aren’t. I’m a lesbian.’”
– Kristen Stewart, on why she refuses to confirm or deny that she and her New Moon costar Robert Pattinson are dating
“I still love those damn Dorritos, baby! And I’m telling you: The Keebler elf is real.”
– A slimmed-down Mo’Nique, on the junk food that still tempts her
“Me! I want to be the first to have it back to back, buddy.”
– The reigning Sexiest Man Alive Hugh Jackman, when asked who deserves to succeed him
“I don’t feel a day over 6!”
– Big Bird, on kicking off Sesame Street’s 40th anniversary
source: 10 Best Celeb Quotes This Week – [people]
Twitter Obsession Has Gone Way Too Far – Tabloid Prodigy
OMG, He’s Persian: Jake Gyllenhaal – OMG! Blog
Mischa Barton Is A Brawler – F-Listed
Kate Winslet: The Most Irritating Actress? – Celebrity Smack
Kiefer Sutherland Drinks The Breakfast Of Champions – Celeb News Wire
The Original Sugababes Are Reforming! – Holy Moly
Dakota Fanning Is Popular – Fatback Media
Kim Kardashian As Ho Snow White – Yeeeah!
Jim Carrey Gets Serious! – Wonderwall
Khloe Kardashian Regrets Her ‘Daddy’ Tramp Stamp – Litely Salted
Not A Newsflash: Ashlee Simpson Is Not Talented – College Candy
Marisa Miller Is A Vintage Pinup – Drunken Stepfather
Olivia Munn Is Making Things Happen – The Superficial
Kirstie Alley Is Bringing The Crazy To TV – ICYDK
Heidi & Spencer Pratt Are Teaching People To Be Famous – Hollywire
Chris Martin Is Cheating On Gwynnie? – Hollywood Dame
Josh Duhamel Is In The Dog House With Fergie – Anything Hollywood
Hailey Glassman Lied About Abuse For Jon – Allie Is Wired
‘Tool Academy’ Tool Arrested For Being Himself – F-Listed
Simon Cowell Finally Gets A Hug – Holy Moly
Mr. Big Goes To The Pumpkin Patch – Celebrity Smack
Chris Farley’s DirectTV Ad: Too Soon? – Pop Eater
Mia Michaels Does Not Have Cancer – City Rag
John Mayer Hookup Rumor #26432.9b – Celeb News Wire
Ashlee Simpson Is Unemployed – Fatback Media
Miley Cyrus Looks Like A Street Walker – ICYDK
Beware Of Russell Brand’s Meggings – College Candy
Khloe Kardashian & Lamar Odom Got Matching Tats – Hollywire
Pamela Anderson Scares Off The Snow – The Superficial
Paris Hilton Gets Her Bling Back – Wonderwall
OMG, How Eighties: Barbie – OMG! Blog
Is Diddy Masturbating On A Balcony? – Drunken Stepfather
What Is Jamie Lee Curtis Supposed To Be? – Tabloid Prodigy
The Economy Is Taking Its Toll On 50 Cent – Celebslam
Taylor Swift & Taylor Lautner Are Hooking Up – Allie Is Wired
This Kid’s Got Some Attitude! – City Rag
Tom Cruise Has The Worst Week Ever – Pop Eater
OMG How Glamorous: Joan Collins! – OMG! Blog
Wanna Fight A Kardashian? – F-Listed
Lindsay Lohan Has Blurry Nipples – The Superficial
Separated At Birth: Pope Benedict & Darth Sidious – Tabloid Prodigy
Lindsay Lohan Is Giving It Away For Free? – ICYDK
Did Paris Hilton Get A Boob Job? – Pacific Coast News
Pamela Anderson Is Platinum Broke – Wonderwall
Jessica Simpson Really Has No Clue – Celebslam
Sophie Monk Works Out Her Sloppy Body – Drunken Stepfather
Chaz Bono Is Already Looking More Manly – Celebrity Smack
Ashlee Simpson Got The Axe From Melrose Place – Celeb News Wire
Lily Allen Trying To One-Up Lady Gaga? – Holy Moly
The Budget Stylista: Rachel Zoe – College Candy
Is Madonna Adopting Another Baby? – Allie Is Wired
New Yorkers Sound Off – City Rag
Is Kate Hudson’s Hotness Keeping A-Rod’s Bat On Fire? – Pop Eater
Dennis Quaid Almost Pulled A Mel Gibson – The Superficial
The Unauthorized Leonardo DiCaprio Documentary – F-Listed
Half Bearded Man Arrested – Tabloid Prodigy
Michelle Obama’s Hips Don’t Lie – Celebrity Smack
Tom Cruise Is A Closet Queen – Celeb News Wire
Amy Winehouse’s Dad Likes Her Boobs – Fatback Media
Katie Price Makes Her Boyfriend Wear Makeup – Holy Moly
Ashlee Simpson Shows Off Her Mom Butt – Drunken Stepfather
Pee Wee Herman Is Rising Up From The Ashes – Wonderwall
Some Idiot Wants To Cancel Summer – College Candy
Hilary Duff Just Looks So Tiny! – ICYDK
Photo Fun: Taylor Swift/Lautner – Ninja Dude
Michael Lohan Is Toxic! – OMG! Blog
Katie Price Looks Wigged Out – Pacific Coast News
Ali Lohan Is The Responsible One? – Anything Hollywood
Jessica Simpson & Gerard Butler Are Hooking Up – Allie Is Wired
Furious Wife Eats Hubby’s Pet Goldfish – Tabloid Prodigy
Are We Already Trying To Impeach President Obama? – OMG Blog!
Ozzy Osbourne Is Lesbian Man – Celebrity Smack
Ted Williams’ Head Frozen & Mutilated – F-Listed
Jon Gosselin Had An Epiphany On Larry King Live – Pop Eater
No More Sex Tapes For Kim Kardashian – Wonderwall
Britney Spears Might As Well Be Pantsless – The Superficial
Lady Gaga Looks Like A Clown – ICYDK
Kim Kardashian Shows Her Best Asset – Popbytes
Kelly Osbourne Is In Disguise? – Holy Moly
Frick & Frack Are Getting Another Dog – Websters Is My Bitch
Katy Perry Is Now Kissing Russell Brand – Anything Hollywood
Name That Skanktoe – City Rag
WTF Friday: Ride ‘Em Cowboy! – College Candy
Is Mariah Carey Lookin’ A Little Pregnant? – Hollywire
Matthew Knowles To Have Another Destiny’s Child? – Hollywood Dame
Is Ashlee Simpson Cheating On Pete Wentz? – Allie Is Wired
Blake Lewis, Shirtless? – Tabloid Prodigy
Do Not Mess With Brangelina’s Kids! – City Rag
The Top Ten Hollywood Silver Foxes – Wonderwall
Mariah Carey Wants To Get Married? – Elle
Randy Quaid & Wife Cuffed In Texas – Pop Eater
Should KISS Be In The Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame? – F-Listed
Ashlee Simpson Walks Like An Ostrich – The Superficial
Kerry Katona Seeks Help From Psychiatric Hotlines – Holy Moly
T Rex & Sex On Fire? – Popbytes
Jon Hamm & Ben Affleck Are Sexy Men In Uniforms – ICYDK
Mischa Barton Is Lookin’ Pretty Beat Down – Celebrity Smack
Julia Roberts Has 150 Security People For A Movie? – Celeb News Wire
A “Real” Housewife To Appear In Playboy? – Fatback Media
Cameron Diaz’s Biological Clock Is Ticking – Drunken Stepfather
Keep The Nasty To Yourself, Please – College Candy
Ryan Seacrest & His Boyfriend Eat Dinner – Pacific Coast News
Megan Fox Thinks She’s Overexposed – Anything Hollywood
Katy Perry Drunk Dials Taylor Swift – Hollywood Dame
Does Britney Spears Even Cook? – News Toob
Barbie & He-Man Hit The Big Screen – Hollywire
Khloe Kardashian’s Wedding Is A Sham – Allie Is Wired
Foxy Brown’s Sex Tape Has Leaked – Tabloid Prodigy
Renee Zellweger Is Going To Wear A Fat Suit – Websters Is My Bitch
Jordin Sparks Loves Her Some Milk – Popbytes
Eric Dane Is Suing Over His Non-Sex Tape – Pop Eater
David Walliams Meets Panda, Doesn’t Shag It – Holy Moly
Cops Enjoy Some Wii Bowling During A Drug Raid – F-Listed
Lil Kim Still Looks Like A Hot Mess – The Superficial
This Is The Opposite Of Snuggie – Celebrity Smack
Diablo Cody To Ruin Sweet Valley High – Celeb News Wire
You’ve Been Dumped, Let’s Move On – College Candy
Chemistry Is Educational AND Funny – City Rag
Ashlee Simpson Is Trying To Look Mean & Evil – ICYDK
Elizabeth Berkley Is No Longer A Showgirl – Pacific Coast News
Kanye West To Enter Rehab? – Anything Hollywood
Dita Von Teese Releases New Naughtier Wonderbra Line – Celebitchy
Justin Timberlake Is Cheating With Rihanna? – Hollywood Dame
Sure Beats Prison For Chris Brown – Ninja Dude
Megan Fox Eats! Who Knew?!?? – Yeeeah!
Jessica Simpson’s Meltdown Is On The Way – Allie Is Wired
Have You Ever Done Drunk Yoga? – City Rag
The Dark Side Of Infomercials – F-Listed
Blake Lively Let One Slip – The Superficial
Rumer Willis Wants To Strip Naked? – Celeb News Wire
Levi Johnston Is Pulling A Heidi Montag – Websters Is My Bitch
Russell Crowe Challenges Writer To A Duel..Yes, A Duel – Popeater
Maia Campbell Crack Video – Celebrity Smack
Kathy Griffin Hated Herself – Fatback Media
Sarah Michelle Gellar Is Ready To Pop! – ICYDK
Carmen Electra Sings! Who Knew?!? – Hollywire
Queen Latifah Parties With Lesbian Strippers – Yeeeah!
Justin Timberlake To Star In The Dumbest Movie Ever – Anything Hollywood
Janice Dickinson Sucks The Life Force Out Of Young Men – Tabloid Prodigy
Jade Goody’s Ex-Husband Arrested! – Holy Moly
Ashlee Simpson Auditioning For Twilight? – Pacific Coast News
Did Someone Slap Some Class Into Audrina Patridge? – News Toob
Kate Gosselin Turns Down Playboy? – Hollywood Dame
Mickey Rourke Is Kinky – DListed
Rihanna Finally Comes To Her Senses – Allie Is Wired
Why The Long Face, Ashlee Simpson? – City Rag
Robert Pattinson’s Abs Are Real – Popeater
Lady Gaga Is A Slut. Surprised? – Holy Moly
Jon Gosselin Thinks He’s A Slut – The Superficial
Alicia Silverstone Airs Out Her Crotch While Gardening – Celeb News Wire
Katie Price Is Ugly Under All Of That Makeup – Celebrity Smack
80% Of The Future Is Robot Hookers – F-Listed
Midgets Can’t Take Out Hitler – Splash News
This Chick Looks Hungry – Fatback Media
The Pot Calls The Kettle Something – Websters Is My Bitch
Sarah Jessica Parker Is So Vein – Pacific Coast News
Hayden Panettiere Takes LiLo’s Sloppy Seconds – Anything Hollywood
Saved By The Bell Tribute Rap – Tabloid Prodigy
Brody Jenner Has An Awful Birthday – ICYDK
What He Really Thinks Of Your Shoes – College Candy
Renee Zellweger Compares Motherhood To Slavery – Allie Is Wired
Kellie Pickler Secretly Dating Kid Rock? – The Superficial
Custody Battle Made Heath Ledger ‘Snap’ – Popeater
Have Some ‘Transformers‘ Cliff’s Notes – City Rag
Sharon Osbourne’s Got An Ego As Big As Her Lips – Holy Moly
There’s A John Edwards Sex Tape? – F-Listed
A Medley Of Butt Kicking Michael Jackson Songs – Popbytes
Corey Feldman Misses Michael Jackson – Celebrity Smack
Madonna Does, Too – Celeb News Wire
Madge Gives Mercy A Piggyback Ride – Celeb Warship
Emma Watson Sexes Up Elle Magazine – Ninja Dude
Eddie Van Halen Got Married – ICYDK
Mischa Barton Is Looking Scary – Websters Is My Bitch
Selena Gomez Has A Sophisticated New Look – Pacific Coast News
Miley Cyrus Is NOT Dead! – Hollywood Dame
Bruno Has Found Himself A New Man In Australia – Socialite Life
Tom Arnold Has Gotten Engaged – Meet The Famous
Ashlee Simpson Gets Even More Plastic Surgery – Yeeeah!
Jessie James: Would You? – The Dirty
Usher Wants A Paternity Test For His Second Son – Celebitchy
Lily Allen Really Has No Shame – Allie Is Wired
Gisele Bundchen Scarfs Burgers – City Rag
Miranda Kerr Is Gettin’ Naked – The Superficial
Mia Farrow’s Brother Committed Suicide – Popeater
Bill Clinton Trading Money For Sex? – F-Listed
Photos Of Chaz Bono In L.A. – Celebrity Smack
Guess Who Stumbled Upon A Nudist Beach – Holy Moly
Maxim Erased Olivia Wilde’s Nipples – Celeb News Wire
Michelle Pfeiffer Hates The Word Cougar – Celebitchy
Caption Jennifer Lopez – Socialite Life
Tila Tequila Is The Most Annoying Person On Twitter – News Toob
New Mom Carnie Wilson Steps Out – Celebrity Baby Scoop
Sean Penn Is Taking A Break From Acting – Anything Hollywood
Owen Wilson Is Dating A Kate Hudson Lookalike – ICYDK
LeAnn Rimes Is A Wild Child At Heart – Pacific Coast News
Shawn Johnson Dead – Video – Hollywood Dame
Ashlee Simpson Vs. Jamie Lynn Spears – College Candy
Scarlett Johansson Is Still Skinny – Websters Is My Bitch
Hayden Panettiere Loves Her Uggs – Meet The Famous
Usher Wants Joint Custody After Divorce – Allie Is Wired
The Best Phil Spector Lookalikes – PopEater
Kate Gosselin’s Tummy Tuck Explained – City Rag
Danny DeVito Is Drunk & On TV – Holy Moly
Heidi Montag Really Is Doing Playboy – The Superficial
Lily Allen & The Robot – Mashup! – Popbytes
Cristiano Ronaldo’s Big Day – F-Listed
Bret Michaels Will Endanger His Life To Pleasure A Woman – Celeb News Wire
Tiger Woods’ Hawaii Home? – Celebrity Smack
Check Out The ‘Shutter Island’ Trailer – Celeb Warship
Josh Duhamel Is Smokin’! – ICYDK
Ashlee & Pete Wentz Are Not Helping The Cause – Websters Is My Bitch
Cameron Diaz Doesn’t Want Any Children – Anything Hollywood
You Can Never Have Enough Kellan Lutz – Pacific Coast News
Mariah Carey Shows Off Her Cleavage – News Toob
Guess Who’s Battling It Out For The Lance Armstrong Biopic – Hollywood Dame
What’s Going On With Michael Jackson’s Half An Ear? – Celebitchy
Miley Cyrus Got A Nose Ring! – Allie Is Wired
Lindsay Lohan Has A Little Present For You – The Superficial
What’s The Goop On Gwyneth Paltrow’s Legs? – PopEater
Adam Levine – Just Because He’s Cute – Popbytes
The New Kendra Wilkinson Stripper Pole – F-Listed
Who Dares Question The Mighty Oprah? – Websters Is My Bitch
Rod Stewart In His Speedos – Holy Moly
Kristen Stewart Is Smoking – City Rag
Audrina Patridge Calls Carl’s Jr. – Celebrity Smack
Ashlee Simpson Fights Over Pete Wentz? – Celeb News Wire
Drew Barrymore & Justin Long Are Back Together – Pacific Coast News
Kristin Cavallari Is Already Bringing The Drama – Celebitchy
Kristen Stewart Makes Modeling Look Hard – Celeb Warship
Sienna Miller Is Boss Orange – Socialite Life
Eminem Was In On The Bruno Stunt – Fatback Media
Lance Armstrong’s Baby Max – Hollywood Dame
No Spencer Pratt & Heidi Montag? No Problem – ICYDK
Boob Showdown: Heather Graham Vs. Kristen Bell – Ninja Dude
Hugh Jackman Needs To Take Off That Stupid Hat – Yeeeah!
Sammy Hagar Trades In The Stale Music For Fresh Fish – Meet The Famous
Lucy Wolvert Wants To Move In With George Clooney – Anything Hollywood
Ciara Is One Hot Performer – News Toob
Dave Matthews Smiles In The Rain – Busy Bee Blogger
Melissa Joan Hart Opens Mouth, Inserts Foot – Allie Is Wired
Christina Ricci Calls Off Her Wedding – PopEater
Tila Tequila In A Bikini – The Superficial
Amy Winehouse Is Still Boozing It Up – F-Listed
Guess Who’s Butt Is For Grabs! – City Rag
Kanye West Makes Up A New Word – Holy Moly
Barbie Is Taking Las Vegas By Storm! – Popbytes
Spencer Pratt Blames The Devil – Celebrity Smack
Brad Pitt Gets Peed On – Celeb News Wire
Ashlee Simpson Is A Scrawny Boozehound – Fatback Media
Billy Bob Thornton’s Daughter Is In Deep Ish – Celeb Warship
Kate Hudson & Alex Rodriguez Are Hooking Up – Ninja Dude
Kristen Stewart Is Just Settling Into Fame – ICYDK
Heather Graham’s Boobs Are Hangin’ Out – Websters Is My Bitch
Kelly Clarkson Has A Huge….Camera – Pacific Coast News
Jon Gosselin Claims He & Kate Don’t Exploit The Kids – Socialite Life
Heather Mills Slips & Falls – Celebitchy
Taylor Lautner Shirtless – Hollywood Dame
The Many Faces Of Michael Jackson – Meet The Famous
Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie May Or May Not Be Over – Yeeeah!
Jennifer Ellison Is A Saint In Nuts Magazine – News Toob
Spencer Pratt Calls Audrina Patridge A “Ho” – Allie Is Wired
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