As everyone not living in a cave knows by now, pop icon Michael Jackson died yesterday at the age of 50. Below is a roundup of some of the more prominent obituaries, including the headlines, the introductory paragraphs, and the most prominent photo.
Michael Jackson’s life was infused with fantasy and tragedy – LA Times
Michael Jackson was fascinated by celebrity tragedy. He had a statue of Marilyn Monroe in his home and studied the sad Hollywood exile of Charlie Chaplin. He married the daughter of Elvis Presley.
Jackson met his own untimely death Thursday at age 50, and more than any of those past icons, he left a complicated legacy. As a child star, he was so talented he seemed lit from within; as a middle-aged man, he was viewed as something akin to a visiting alien who, like Tinkerbell, would cease to exist if the applause ever stopped.
It was impossible in the early 1980s to imagine the surreal final chapters of Jackson’s life. In that decade, he became the world’s most popular entertainer thanks to a series of hit records — “Beat It,†“Billie Jean,” “Thriller†— and dazzling music videos. Perhaps the best dancer of his generation, he created his own iconography: the single shiny glove, the Moonwalk, the signature red jacket and the Neverland Ranch.
In recent years, he inspired fascination for reasons that had nothing to do with music. Years of plastic surgery had made his face a bizarre landscape. He was deeply in debt and had lost his way as a musician. He had not toured since 1997 or released new songs since 2001. Instead of music videos, the images of Jackson beamed around the world were tabloid reports about his strange personal behavior, including allegations of child molestation, or the latest failed relaunch of his career.
For his legions of fans, he was the Peter Pan of pop music: the little boy who refused to grow up. But on the verge of another attempted comeback, he is suddenly gone, this time for good.
Michael Jackson, whose quintessentially American tale of celebrity and excess took him from musical boy wonder to global pop superstar to sad figure haunted by lawsuits, paparazzi and failed plastic surgery, was pronounced dead on Thursday afternoon at U.C.L.A. Medical Center after arriving in a coma, a city official said. Mr. Jackson was 50, having spent 40 of those years in the public eye he loved.
[...]
As with Elvis Presley or the Beatles, it is impossible to calculate the full effect Mr. Jackson had on the world of music. At the height of his career, he was indisputably the biggest star in the world; he has sold more than 750 million albums. Radio stations across the country reacted to his death with marathon sessions of his songs. MTV, which grew successful in part as a result of Mr. Jackson’s groundbreaking videos, reprised its early days as a music channel by showing his biggest hits.
From his days as the youngest brother in the Jackson 5 to his solo career in the 1980s and early 1990s, Mr. Jackson was responsible for a string of hits like “I Want You Back,†“I’ll Be There†“Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough†“Billie Jean†and “Black or White†that exploited his high voice, infectious energy and ear for irresistible hooks.
As a solo performer, Mr. Jackson ushered in the age of pop as a global product — not to mention an age of spectacle and pop culture celebrity. He became more character than singer: his sequined glove, his whitened face, his moonwalk dance move became embedded in the cultural firmament. His entertainment career hit high-water marks with the release of “Thriller,†from 1982, which has been certified 28 times platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America, and with the “Victory†world tour that reunited him with his brothers in 1984.
But soon afterward, his career started a bizarre disintegration. His darkest moment undoubtedly came in 2003, when he was indicted on child molesting charges. A young cancer patient claimed the singer had befriended him and then groped him at his Neverland estate near Santa Barbara, Calif., but Mr. Jackson was acquitted on all charges.
Singer Michael Jackson, the man known as the King of Pop to legions of fans around the globe, who lived most of his extraordinary life in the public eye, died Thursday in Los Angeles after going into cardiac arrest. He was 50 years old.
[...]
It used to be that Jackson’s talent was the most compelling thing about him, says music critic Jody Rosen. “I think ‘I Want You Back’ is one of the greatest pop singles I’ve ever heard,” Rosen says.
“I Want You Back” was the hit single that famously thrust a young Michael Jackson and four of his brothers from the Gary, Ind., talent show circuit to world fame. Their grimly focused father put Michael on stage at age 5. The child, says Rosen, somehow channeled the gifts of vastly more seasoned performers. “He had a very gritty voice at that time, which is strange, given that as he grew older, he started to sing more and more like a pre-pubescent little boy,” Rosen says. “And when he was a pre-pubescent little boy, he was singing like a soul elder statesman.”
Object of Acclaim, Curiosity, The ‘King of Pop’ Dies in L.A. – WaPo
Michael Jackson, 50, died yesterday in Los Angeles as sensationally as he lived, as famous as a human being can get. He was a child Motown phenomenon who grew into a moonwalking megastar, the self-anointed King of Pop who sold 750 million records over his career and enjoyed worldwide adoration.
But with that came the world’s relentless curiosity, and Mr. Jackson was eventually regarded as one of show business’s legendary oddities, hopping from one public relations crisis to another.
In the end there were two sides to the record: The tabloid caricature and the provocative, genre-changing musical genius that his fans will always treasure. There were those whose devotion knew no bounds, who visited the gates of his private ranch north of Santa Barbara, Calif., arriving at Neverland on pilgrimages from Europe and Asia, and who were among the first to flock to UCLA Medical Center as news of his death spread yesterday afternoon. Those were the same kind of fans who camped out at the Santa Barbara Superior Courthouse, to show their support during his 2005 trial. They released doves and wept when he was acquitted.
Then there was the other kind of fan, who preferred to keep memories of the singer locked firmly in his 1980s prime: Today’s young adults all have memories of being toddlers and grade-schoolers who moonwalked across their mother’s just mopped kitchen floors. Even the hardest rockers will easily confess to the first album they ever bought: “Thriller.”
These are fair accounts, I think, balancing Jackson’s undeniable status as a music icon as well as the bizarre spectacle of his life offstage.
The gang at Rolling Stone has come up with a list of the “100 Greatest Guitar Songs of All Time.” But who’s got time for that in the fast-page Internet age? Here’s their top 10 — the other 90 suck in comparison, right?
1. “Johnny B. Goode” Chuck Berry (1958)
“If you want to play rock & roll,” Joe Perry told Rolling Stone in 2004, “you have to start here.” Recorded 50 years ago, on January 6th, 1958, at the Chess Records studio in Chicago, Berry’s “Johnny B. Goode” was the first great record about the joys and rewards of playing rock & roll guitar. It also has the single greatest rock & roll intro: a thrilling blast of high twang driven by Berry’s spearing notes, followed by a rhythm part that translates a boogie-woogie piano riff for the guitar. “He could play the guitar just like a-ringing a bell,” Berry sings in the first verse — a perfect description of his sound and the reverberations still running through every style of rock guitar, from the Beatles and the Stones on down. “It was beautiful, effortless, and his timing was perfection,” Keith Richards has said of Berry’s playing. “He is rhythm man supreme.” Berry wrote often about rock & roll and why it’s good for you — “Roll Over Beethoven” in 1956, “Rock and Roll Music” in ’57 — but never better than in “Johnny B. Goode,” a true story about how playing music on a guitar can change your life forever.
2. “Purple Haze” The Jimi Hendrix Experience (1967)
The riff is pure blues — the same kind of guitar figure Hendrix played nightly back on the R&B-club grind, as a sideman for Little Richard and the Isley Brothers. But in “Purple Haze,” Hendrix’s second British single and the first track on the U.S. version of his debut album, he declared himself a free man — “‘Scuse me while I kiss the sky” — and unveiled a new guitar language charged with spiritual hunger and the poetry possible in electricity and studio technology. “Guitar — you can play it or transcend it,” said Neil Young when he inducted Hendrix into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame in 1992. “Jimi showed me that. I heard it, felt it and wanted to do it.” Hendrix wrote “Purple Haze” backstage at a London nightclub in December 1966 and recorded basic tracks with his band, the Experience, two weeks later. But the galactic travel came in overdubs recorded on February 3rd, 1967: Hendrix’s solos, swimming in echo and sparkling with harmonics, were put through an octave-boosting effect and played back at twice the speed. In less than three minutes, Hendrix opened a new age of expression on his instrument.
3. “Crossroads” Cream (1968)
Eric Clapton once described Cream’s music as “blues ancient and modern.” This track is what he meant. He was not yet 23 when he played this high-velocity version of the Robert Johnson song at San Francisco’s Winterland on March 10th, 1968. Everything in Clapton’s solos is grounded in the blues vocabulary but pointed to the future. “When Clapton soloed, he wrote wonderful symphonies from classic blues licks in that fantastic tone,” Little Steven Van Zandt told Rolling Stone in 2004. “You could sing his solos like songs in themselves.”
4. “You Really Got Me” The Kinks (1964)
It was, at first, “a jazz-type tune,” said Kinks singer Ray Davies, and the two-chord figure driving it was a sax line. “That’s what I liked at the time.” Then his brother Dave played it on guitar through an amp speaker he had poked with needles and shredded with a razor blade. (“It was a Gillette single-sided blade,” said Dave.) Dave’s solo — a tangle of zigzags and viciously bent notes — heralded the birth of Sixties garage and punk-rock guitar in one fell swoop. “I said I’d never write another song like it,” said Ray. “And I haven’t.”
5. “Brown Sugar” The Rolling Stones (1971)
“Satisfaction” may be the Rolling Stones’ most recognizable riff, but this Sticky Fingers hit — based on a gutbucket guitar part devised by Mick Jagger — is the band’s raunchy guitar pinnacle. Keith Richards’ secret weapon: He’s playing a guitar that’s missing its lowest string.
6. “Eruption” Van Halen (1978)
Eddie Van Halen’s 102-second mission statement was a piece he invented onstage: a solo showcase for his mastery of tone and technique, notably the rush of notes he produced with his fretboard tapping. An army of teens would try to duplicate it, emerging years later in every metal band of the Eighties.
7. “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” The Beatles (1968)
This is a tale of two guitar giants at an empathic peak: George Harrison, who wrote this song on acoustic guitar in India, and Eric Clapton, who amplifies Harrison’s vocal dismay with a waterfall of blues fills. It’s the finest examaple of his jagged, late-Sixties tone.
8. “Stairway to Heaven” Led Zeppelin (1971)
“Stairway,” Jimmy Page told RS in 1975, “crystallized the essence of the band.” It’s a masterpiece of dramatic ascension: Page’s acoustic picking rising into chiming chords, which introduce the solo, a brilliant succession of phrases that steadily move toward rock & roll ecstasy.
9. “Statesboro Blues” The Allman Brothers Band (1971)
In 1968, Gregg Allman went to visit his older brother, Duane, on his 22nd birthday. Duane was sick in bed, so Gregg brought along a bottle of Coricidin pills for his fever and the debut album by guitarist Taj Mahal as a gift. “About two hours after I left, my phone rang,” Gregg remembers. ” ‘Baby brother, baby brother, get over here now!’ ” When Gregg got there, Duane had poured the pills out of the bottle, washed off the label and was using it as a slide to play “Statesboro Blues,” the old Blind Willie McTell song that Taj Mahal covered. Duane had never played slide before, says Gregg, but “he just picked it up and started burnin’. He was a natural.”
The song quickly became a part of the Allman Brothers Band’s repertoire, and Duane’s slide guitar became crucial to their sound. “Statesboro Blues” was the opening track on their legendary 1971 live double album, At Fillmore East, and ever since, the moaning and squealing opening licks have given fans chills at live shows. “It wasn’t something that Duane would play the same way every night,” says current Allmans guitarist Warren Haynes, one of many guitarists who have filled Duane’s shoes since he died in late 1971. “But in all of our heads, that’s the way it goes.”
There’s one thing the current band doesn’t try to replicate from the Fillmore East performance: At the end of Duane’s sublime “Statesboro” solo, the guitarist hits an off-key note that Gregg calls the “note from hell.” “He left it in because he knew I hated it,” says Gregg, claiming that the mistake only adds to the song’s legend. “It was live. It was something that happened.” EVAN SERPICK
10. “Smells Like Teen Spirit” Nirvana (1991)
Most of “Teen Spirit” came easy — Nirvana nailed it in three takes — but that crucial Kurt Cobain guitar intro required an overdub (“That pissed him off,” said producer Butch Vig). It was worth the effort: That riff, along with the band’s loud-quiet-loud dynamics, defined Nineties rock.
It’s a pretty lame list, if you ask me. “Johnny B. Goode” and “Purple Haze” are certainly top 10 material but most of the others aren’t. A lot of them aren’t event particularly good guitar songs.
Certainly, almost any AC/DC song you’ve ever heard of is better than “Stairway to Heaven” as a guitar jam. Indeed, so are quite a few Zeppelin songs, notably “Rock and Roll.” And where’s Lynyrd Skynrd’s “Freebird”? That’s gotta be in the top 10.
Source: “The 100 Greatest Guitar Songs of All Time” [Rolling Stone]
Would you believe that Mariah Carey is bigger than Elvis? Me neither. But she has actually had more number one records than The King.
With her 18th chart-topper “Touch My Body,” Mariah Carey has passed Elvis Presley for the most No. 1 singles on the Billboard singles chart, and is now second only to the Beatles. But while the diva was in full celebration mode after learning of her latest milestone, she was also quick to put her accomplishment in perspective.
“I really can never put myself in the category of people who have not only revolutionized music but also changed the world,” Carey told The Associated Press on Tuesday via phone from London. “That’s a completely different era and time … I’m just feeling really happy and grateful.”
That’s both the right standpoint to take from a PR standpoint and, well, right. Still, there have been a lot of big stars and she’s in rarified company:
Carey’s single is the new No. 1 single on Billboard’s Hot 100 singles chart: The song also is No. 1 on the trade magazine’s digital download chart thanks to a precedent-setting 286,000 downloads in its debut week. She had been tied with Presley with 17 No. 1 singles; the Beatles are the all-time leaders with 20. (Madonna also beat a Presley record this week, surpassing the King for the most top 10 hits with her 37th for her hit “4 Minutes.”)
But, of course, there’s the politics of identity:
Carey said being in such company was gratifying not only because of her personal success, but what it meant for women and minorities. “For me, in my mind the accomplishment is just that much sweeter,” she said. “In terms of my ethnicity, always feeling like an outsider, always feeling different … for me it’s about saying, ‘Thank you Lord, for giving me the faith to believe in myself when other people had written me off.’”
Goodness yes. She was 20 years old before she made it big. It’s amazing she persevered so long.
A lock of John Lennon’s hair sold in a London auction on Wednesday for $48,000!
The legend’s follicles were sold to an unnamed telephone bidder and was cut by the band’s former hairdresser. The hair was originally estimated to sell for between $4-6,000, but the fans obviously put more value into it.
The hair — inside an autographed copy of Lennon’s book “A Spaniard in the Works” — sold to an unnamed telephone bidder.
Gorringes auction house had estimated the hair would sell for $4,000 to $6,000.
Lennon gave the book and the lock of hair to Betty Glasow, the Fab Four’s hairdresser during their heyday. He wrote in the book, “To Betty, Lots of Love and Hair, John Lennon xx.”
“It is astonishing that there is still so much interest in the Beatles and the sale goes to prove that John Lennon is still an icon,” said Francesca Collin, a spokeswoman for Gorringes.
“To have some of Lennon’s hair along with a signed note from him really does give it fantastic provenance and authenticity,” Collin said.
Last time Heather Mills nude porn photos surfaced they were from a sex book that she participated in. This time the magazine that featured her (pre-prosthetic) isn’t an educational resource for those looking to spice up their bedroom activities.
A smut magazine featured Mills in a “compromising†position. Laden in red lace, she gives a full frontal of her candy shop. The top caption on the spread (pun intended) read, “I’m gonna drive you crazy with my body…”
Egad someone get a hose!
I’m really interested in seeing what defense she comes up with. Perhaps it will be something like….”Well, you see. I was getting dressed at this random Waffle House when I fell and this guy with a camera accidentally took my picture. Then, he asked for my autograph and I didn’t realize I was signing a release form. Crazy huh!â€
Elvis Presley has been dead for thirty years. But he’s still making more money than anyone likely reading this.
Just because you are dead, it does not mean you can’t stage a comeback. Web site Forbes.com (www.forbes.com) said on Tuesday that Elvis Presley regained the top spot on its list of the highest-earning dead celebrities, ousting Nirvana frontman Kurt Cobain who had beaten him last year.
Elvis shimmied his way back atop the seventh annual list of 13 top-earning legends that he had ruled since its inception, with estimated earnings of about $49 million in the year ending this month. The rise from $42 million last year comes after CKX Entertainment, which bought part of his estate from daughter Lisa Marie Presley, embarked on a mission to renew interest in the late singer and actor.
Forbes.com said in a statement that the top 13 — who generated massive amounts of merchandising revenue — grossed a combined $232 million in the year.
In second place came Beatle John Lennon, who was murdered in New York in 1980 at the age of 40. He earned $44 million while the creator of Peanuts comic strip, Charles M. Schulz, took the third slot with earnings of $35 million.
Cobain was one of four who fell off this year’s ranking. He debuted on the list in first place last year after his widow, Courtney Love, sold part of his song catalog for a reported $50 million.
Rounding out the top five on this year’s list were George Harrison from the Beatles, who died in 2001, with $22 million, and German-born physicist Albert Einstein with $18 million. Einstein has become a key trademark in child education due to the Disney-owned Baby Einstein brand of videos and toys.
Many members of these lists are one-year wonders, who get on there because a movie came out, their estate was sold, or something similar. Presley and Lennon, though, are mainstays who continue to sell massive numbers of records decades after their passing.
Rock and roll stars, despite their alcohol and drug infested nights, must still have good genes. It’s most likely the result of the women they are hooking up with, but none the less, they have some attractive children. Below is a list of the Top 5 ‘Hot’ offspring of rock and roll lineage.
#5 Daisy Lowe – Gavin Rossdale
Daisy Lowe is the product of Rossdale creating an illicit child with real rockstar humper Bebe Buell. Lowe certainly looks the part. British, hip clothes, funky hair. Almost Lily Allen like.
#4 Chelsea Tyler – Steven Tyler
Everyone knows Liv, but Chelsea Tyler is the younger more innocent sibling. How does Steven do it? I’ll give him the lip gene, but it all goes down hill after that.
#3 Norah Jones – Ravi Shankar
Ok, I have no idea who Ravi Shankar is, but apparently he played a prominent role in the 60s/70s with some great bands including The Beatles. But it looks like his greatest accomplishment was Norah. Not only is she beautiful, she’s a bonified artist in her own right.
#2 India Waters – Roger Waters of Pink Floyd
The girl has it going on, even if she does look a little like Kate Moss. Nothing against Kate, she’s beautiful, but a little self destructive with bad taste in men.
#1 Zoe Kravitz – Lenny Kravitz
I am not surprised the wonder that is Lenny Kravitz produced the stunning Zoe Kravitz. Zoe, 18, looks a lot like her mother Lisa Bonet, but much hotter.
Mick Jagger proclaimed, when he was in his 20s, that “I’d rather be dead than singing Satisfaction when I’m forty-five.” He’s taken some ribbing about that since he’s still at it nearly thirty years past that milestone. He’s a piker, though, compared to a new band taking the UK by storm whose youngest member is over 70.
Fred Knittle wears his belt up high. His nose is tethered to an oxygen tank, and on stage he’s confined to a folding chair. From this unlikely perch, he’s turning rock ‘n’ roll on its head.
Singing Coldplay’s “Fix You,” Knittle transforms the song into a powerful ballad about a grandfather’s healing wisdom. It means something different coming from an 80-year-old retiree suffering from congestive heart failure.
Knittle is a singer for the Young@Heart Chorus, whose members range from 73 to 92 years old. Singing songs they shouldn’t even know, at an age when they’re expected to be sitting quietly somewhere, they subvert all accepted notions of old and young. Songs by bands like the Radiohead, OutKast and Nirvana take on a new dimension when performed by these 23 foot-stomping senior citizens. “Fix You” or the Clash’s “Should I Stay or Should I Go” become about life and death.
Though little known in America, the Northampton-based Young@Heart has performed from Australia to London, serenaded the king and queen of Norway, been discussed on “The Daily Show,” and been documented in an acclaimed film for British television. They’re now recording an album tentatively titled “Rockin’ At Heaven’s Door.”
More power to ‘em, I guess. But, yeesh, it’s a little weird having grampa sing these songs.
Certainly, they’d have a whole different outlook on the Beatles’ “When I’m 64,” which came out when they were middle aged and they look back fondly on not being quite eligible for Medicare.
One thing of note, most of the comedians were on the show during the same time period. This is when Saturday Night Live was the funniest, IMHO.
10. Bill Murray
With his trademark smirk, Murray simultaneously celebrated and lambasted the sketch-comedy genre. Thrust into an impossible situationÂessentially replacing the too-big-for-his-britches Chevy ChaseÂMurray added both knowing smarm (nerd kid Todd DiLamuca) and blank-faced understatement (“cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburgerâ€) to a cast lacking both. He established such an indelible cool-guy persona that 20-plus years later, we’re still incapable of holding missteps like Garfield against him.
Best bit: Nick the Lounge Singer
9. Dana Carvey
He makes the list owing to the sheer number of breakout characters he created and embodied: the Church Lady, Garth, Hans, Carsenio et al. No player in the show’s history counts more to his or her name. Throw in his gift for mimicry—George Bush, Jimmy Stewart, Ross Perot, even cast mate Dennis Miller—and it’s no wonder that Carvey was featured in roughly 92.5 percent of all scenes during his seven-year tenure on the show.
Best bit: “Chopping Broccoli”
8. Molly Shannon
The most underrated performer in SNL history, and one of the few woman cast members who was too dark, manic, and, well, weird to shepherd into a window-dressing role. Oh yeah—and her Mary Katherine Gallagher orchestrated a much better pratfall than Chevy Chase’s Gerald Ford ever did. You almost felt sorry for the chairs into which she careened.
Best bit: Delicious Dish on NPR (a.k.a. Schweaty Balls)
7. John Belushi
He got more laughs with a single arched eyebrow than Horatio Sanz did with 25 minutes of nonstop madcap antics. Whether touting the nutritional bona fides of donuts or wistfully reminiscing while visiting the graves of former cast mates, Belushi boasted more range than most classically trained stage actorsÂand could still pull off fart jokes with aplomb. Had he not been derailed by substance-abuse issues, he’d have morphed into a hell of a character actor by now.
Best bit: Samurai Delicatessen
6. Gilda Radner
The show’s most joyous performer, Radner’s sunny smile masked a serious anarchic bent. Unlike most of the show’s early-era legends, Radner was as comfortable fronting a band (as Patti Smith sound- and sleaze-alike Candy Slice) as she was at the “Weekend Update†desk (where she weighed in as confused pundit Emily Litella and hygiene-obsessed Roseanne Roseannadanna).
Best bit: Lisa Loopner
5. Chris Farley
Forget that he weighed half a ton and, toward the end of his run, couldn’t scratch his ear without breaking into a massive sweat. Farley trumps his idol John Belushi and every other comer as SNL’s most physically agile comedian, whether destroying thousands of dollars worth of sets as hopped-up motivational guru Matt Foley or retreating into himself as the sheepish host of “The Chris Farley Show†(to Paul McCartney: “You remember when you were with the Beatles?â€).
Best bit: Chippendales audition
4. Eddie Murphy [my personal favorite]
Of all the 300-odd SNL cast members, none has been asked to carry the show by him or herself like Murphy was—and none could have pulled it off with such seeming ease. Without Eddie Murphy, in fact, SNL wouldn’t have survived the lean years between the original troupe and the Carvey/Hartman/Nealon era. For that reason, it’s easier to forgive him for his sharply reduced effort once 48 Hours punted him into the comic stratosphere.
Best bit: James Brown’s Celebrity Hot Tub Party
3. Dan Aykroyd
By far the most versatile player in the original troupe, and one of the few who excelled equally as a performer and as a writer. Aykroyd also ranks among the few players who could bounce easily between political sketches (especially as President Nixon in “The Final Daysâ€) and stoner silliness (“Fred Garvin: Male Prostituteâ€). Is there a way to legally stop him from beating The Blues Brothers even further into the ground?
Best bit: Super Bass-O-Matic ’76
2. Will Ferrell
He cheered and danced and sang. He took off his shirt. He reveled in character-specific details (grizzly beards, cowbells, etc.). And oh!, the impressions: He played Unabomber Ted Kaczynski as a glib everyman, Neil Diamond as a porn-addicted hothead, and James Lipton as…well, James Lipton. Then as now, Ferrell is constitutionally incapable of not wringing every bit of funny out of a gag.
Best bit: Anything involving Harry Carey, Robert Goulet, Janet Reno, or Bill Brasky
1. Phil Hartman
His on-set nickname, “Glue,†tells you everything you need to know about the role he played during SNL’s late-’80s/early-’90s resurgence. He elevated everything and everyone with which he came in contact—his beatific grin during “Chopping Broccoli,†for instance, merits almost as big a laugh as the skit’s premise. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, the Anal Retentive Chef, Bill Clinton visiting McDonald’s…In honor of his ego-free comic eminence, say it once more, with feeling: Sassy!
Best bit: The Sinatra Group
Rolling Stone has compiled a list of Rock’s Top 25 Songs With a Secret, which they describe as “tracks the meanings of which have inspired lots of debate.”
1. “Louie Louie†– The Kingsmen: Though the song was originally written by Richard Berry, the Kingsmen’s version was a huge hit and inspired an equally huge controversy when rumors spread the virtually inaudible lyrics were super dirty. The FBI even investigated the potentially un-American nastiness of the song’s message (their theories on what they lyrics say are hysterical) but ultimately it was concluded that the song was not bound to defile an entire generation of young minds. 2. “Lola†– The Kinks: Thought to be about a beautiful woman, actually inspired by an incident in which Kinks’ manager Robert Wace spent a drunken night dancing with a transvestite he mistook for a woman. 3. “Born in the USA†– Bruce Springsteen: Misperceived as a nationalistic anthem, is really a dark portrait of post-Vietnam life. 4. “One†– U2: Depending on who you ask, this song is about everything from a young man trying to tell his father about his HIV-positive status, to buffalos, but the track is widely believed to have been inspired by Bono’s relationship with his own father. 5. “Rainy Day Women #12 & #35†– Bob Dylan: With its lyrical proclamation, “everybody must get stoned†the song was embraced as a stoner’s anthem, but the song is actually about the literal throwing of stones. 6. “Please Please Me†– The Beatles: Thought to be a cute little teenage love song, is actually about oral sex. 7. “Alison†– Elvis Costello: Yeah, it’s a song about betrayal and misery directed at a member of the opposite sex, but it’s not about murder, as many have speculated. 8. “One I Love†– R.E.M.: Thought to be about the one he loves, is actually meant to be ironic. 9. “Edge of Seventeenâ€- Stevie Nicks: Thought to be about teen angst and or drug addiction, is actually about the deaths of John Lennon and Nicks’ uncle. 10. “Pictures of Lily†– The Who: Thought to be a sweet love song, is actually about a young boy’s obsession with a porn star. 11. “Polly†– Nirvana: Misunderstood by frat boys to glorify rape, was actually inspired by a true story in which a rape victim escaped from her captor. 12. “She Bop†– Cyndi Lauper: Thought to be a charming and innocent song about a girl dancing around, is actually about masturbation. 13. “Hey Jude†– The Beatles: Some suspect the song is about taking heroin, it was actually written by Paul McCartney for John’s son Julian. 14. “Pretzel Logic†– Steely Dan: Mistakenly thought to be about Adolf Hitler. 15. “Crystal Blue Persuasion†– Tommy James & The Shondells: The song was misunderstood to be about making crystal meth, when the actual inspiration was a description of Heaven in “The Book of Revelation.†16. “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds†– The Beatles: Though this song is widely assumed to be about LSD, the official statement is that the song was inspired by Julian Lennon’s drawing … which John Lennon was looking at while high on LSD. Just kidding. The song has nothing to do with drugs (officially). Seriously. Drawings. Not drugs. Got it? 17. “Harder to Breathe†– Maroon 5: Originally this song was thought to be about a troubled romance and or stalker-like-tendencies of a particularly pissed off lover, but Levine says it was inspired by record company pressure to write more singles. 18. “Pennyroyal Tea†– Nirvana: Thought to be inspired by many things, including a tea Kurt drank to ease his stomach pain, was actually inspired by an herbal remedy meant to cause an abortion. 19. “In the Air Tonight†– Phil Collins: Widely thought to be about a drowning incident, is actually about divorce. 20. “Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)â€â€“ Green Day: Misperceived as a love song, is really about a bitterness-filled breakup. 21. “Take Me Out†– Franz Ferdinand: Fans have speculated that the song is about a troubled couple who just can’t get their adolescent hearts together, it’s actually inspired by the assassination of Austria-Hungarian Archduke Franz Ferdinand. 22. “Some Candy Talking†– Jesus and Mary Chain: Though every other Jesus and Mary Chain song ever written seems to have a trippy theme and or feel, the band insists this song is not, as many believe, about heroin. Not. About. Drugs. Officially. 23. “Girl†– Beck: Thought to be a love song, is actually about nefarious seduction that ends in murder. 24. “Drain You†– Nirvana: Thought to be just another song about heroin, is actually about a case in which one twin baby stole the nutrients from its twin while in the womb, resulting in one stillbirth. 25. “Dier Eir von Satan†– Tool: Thought to be about something to do with Satan, the lyrics, which are all in German, actually consist entirely of a repeating recipe for hashish cookies.
Forbes Magazine has compiled a list of the 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces.
Forbes’ list of the 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces examined only divorces during the last 25 years. Reporters scoured press reports, interview transcripts and, whenever possible, court documents to verify settlements. Figures are not adjusted for inflation. Some celebrity divorces with allegedly high settlements were excluded when information was unavailable or unreliable.
#10. Mick Jagger & Jerry Hall
Estimated settlement: $15 to $25 million
The Rolling Stones rocker and Texas supermodel met in 1977 and had two children together before marrying in a traditional Hindi wedding ceremony in Bali, Indonesia, in 1990. Hall filed for divorce in 1999 after learning that Jagger had fathered another woman’s child. Jagger, worth an estimated $325 million at the time, successfully challenged the legality of the Balinese wedding and received an annulment. Hall walked away with between $15 and $25 million, a fraction of Jagger’s estate.
#9. Lionel & Diane Richie
Estimated settlement: $20 million
Richie, then 36 and married, met the 18-year-old backup dancer at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles. Richie, divorced from his first wife in 1993, married Diane by 1996. The Richies became tabloid favorites when Diane filed for divorce in 2004 and detailed their lavish lifestyle in her alimony petition. Among her claims: a monthly clothing allowance of $15,000; $50,000 a month for manicures, massages and other personal services; and a plastic surgery budget of $20,000 a year.
#8. Michael & Diandra Douglas
Estimated settlement: $45 million
Douglas met 19-year-old Georgetown co-ed Diandra Luker in 1977 at a Jimmy Carter inauguration party. They married six weeks later. During the course of the marriage, Douglas became one of Hollywood’s top earning actors, starring in classics like Fatal Attraction, Wall Street and Basic Instinct. Amid rumors of the actor’s infidelities and alcohol abuse, the couple split in 1998. Diandra was awarded an estimated $45 million, plus homes in Beverly Hills and Majorca.
#7. James Cameron & Linda Hamilton
Estimated settlement: $50 million
The Titanic director married the Terminator actress in July 1997. They had one daughter together before the marriage tanked 18 months later. Cameron received some $100 million from Paramount for Titanic (which grossed $1.8 billion). Hamilton received half of that, an estimated $50 million, in the divorce settlement.
#6. Paul McCartney & Heather Mills
Settlement pending: Possibly more than $60 million
In 2002, the former Beatle wed Mills, a model-activist 30 years his junior. McCartney reportedly shunned Mills’ offer of a prenuptial agreement. By 2006, the pair, who have one child together, split acrimoniously. She accused him of assault; he locked her out of their London home. Rumors of a settlement suggest Mills may get in excess of $60 million–McCartney’s worth is an estimated $700 million.
#5. Kevin Costner & Cindy Silva
Estimated settlement: $80 million
The pair, who met at California State University, wed in 1978. During their 16-year marriage, Costner became one of Hollywood’s highest-paid actors, scoring seven Oscars for Dances with Wolves and starring in iconic films like Bull Durham and Field of Dreams. Costner pocketed $50 million in 1991 alone. Because Silva was married to Costner during his peak earning years, she was awarded $80 million, a substantial piece of his net worth.
#4. Harrison Ford & Melissa Mathison
Estimated settlement: $85 million
The couple met in 1977 at a dinner with casting director Fred Roos (American Graffiti) and wed in 1983. Six years later, Ford became one of Hollywood’s highest-paid actors when he banked $7 million for Presumed Innocent. By 1995, he was making $20 million a film. The couple divorced in 2004. In addition to her divorce settlement, Mathison negotiated a piece of Ford’s future earnings from films he made while married, including DVD sales of the Indiana Jones trilogy and The Fugitive.
#3. Steven Spielberg & Amy Irving
Estimated settlement: $100 million
The couple met when Irving auditioned for Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977). They married in 1985, after Spielberg had already struck it big with his first Indiana Jones flick and ET. They divorced after nearly four years of marriage. Irving successfully contested their prenuptial agreement (reportedly scribbled on a napkin) because she did not have legal representation and was awarded $100 million, roughly half of Spielberg’s fortune at the time. Today, he is worth $3 billion.
#2. Neil Diamond & Marcia Murphey
Estimated settlement: $150 million
The crooner married Murphey, a television production assistant, in 1969, before he released his first gold record, Touching You, Touching Me. By the late ’70s, Diamond was one of the most successful musicians in showbiz, grossing upward of $14 million annually. After 25 years of marriage, Murphey filed for divorce in 1994, citing irreconcilable differences. She walked away with half of Diamond’s fortune–she’s “worth every penny,” he later said.
#1. Michael & Juanita Jordan
Settlement pending: Possibly more than $150 million
The legendary basketball star married Juanita Vanoy, a Chicago bank officer, in 1989. He had already signed an eight-year, $25 million contract with the Chicago Bulls. He also was earning another $30 million a year from Nike and other endorsement deals. She filed for divorce last year. Over the course of the marriage, Jordan earned more than $350 million. Should Juanita press for half of his assets, she could get more than $150 million in the settlement, making the Jordan divorce the most expensive in entertainment history.
Wowsers. At least they were married a long time. Getting $15 million for a few months of marriage is just ridiculous. And, frankly, if she didn’t even change her name, she probably wasn’t in it for the long haul anyway.
P.S.: If you’re worth several hundred million dollars more than your beloved, you simply must insist on a prenup. No, it’s not romantic. Too bad.
Justin Timberlake “despises” celebrity magazines. He probably doesn’t like celebrity blogs much, either.
Justin Timberlake blames celebrity magazines for turning his personal life into juicy gossip fodder.
“I despise what they do,” the 26-year-old singer tells Details magazine in an interview in its April issue. “They create soap operas out of people’s lives. … It’s a spin game, and I choose not to take part in it.”
That includes not dishing any dirt about former girlfriends Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz.
“I would never say anything bad about anyone. I love a lot of those people,” says Timberlake, whose latest album is “FutureSex/LoveSounds.”
Diaz and Timberlake, who had dated since 2003, confirmed their split in January. Timberlake’s relationship with Spears ended in 2002. They were a high-profile couple for three years.
Timberlake, a former member of boy band ‘N Sync, released his debut solo album, “Justified,” in 2002. The album won a Grammy Award.
“I tried so hard to be an R&B artist and it was the pop album of the year. … That’s the last thing I wanted,” Timberlake says. “But I was like, ‘So everyone considers me a pop artist? … I’m going to do whatever I want to do.’ “
It’s just not right that they treat Timberlake like a piece of meat. He’s a serious musician, damn it! Why, ‘N Sync was like the second coming of the Beatles . . .
It’s looking like the Beatles catalog will finally be available for legal download.
Record company EMI Group PLC said Sunday it planned to unveil “an exciting new digital offering” with computer company Apple Inc., raising expectations that The Beatles’ music catalog is about to be made available through Apple’s iTunes online music store.
EMI said it would hold a news conference Monday at its London headquarters with its chief executive, Eric Nicoli, and Apple boss Steve Jobs “and a special live performance.” The company gave no further details.
EMI has been The Beatles’ record label since the early 1960s. The Beatles have so far been the most prominent holdout from iTunes and other online music services, and Apple’s overtures to put the music online were stymied by a long-running trademark dispute with The Beatles’ commercial guardian, Apple Corps. Ltd.
This is very interesting and, clearly, the Beatles remain a huge franchise more than forty years after their breakup. Still, it’s not as if Beatles songs haven’t been available for ripping to digital format.
UPDATE: It turns out the real news is quite different and, ultimately, perhaps more important:
Apple on Monday said EMI Music has agreed to allow its entire digital music catalog to be sold free of digital rights management controls on Apple’s iTunes music store, the first major label to lift usage restrictions on an entire catalog of downloadable tunes. The deal does not include songs by the Beatles and possibly other artists.
The tracks will be available at a higher audio quality of 256-Kbps AAC encoding, which is indistinguishable from the original CD recording, according to Apple. The tunes, however, will cost 30 cents more than Apple’s regular price of 99 cents a track. EMI’s catalog will still be available at the lower price with DRM, which restricts the number of times a song can be copied. It also makes it extremely difficult to play the music on multiple portable devices, such as Apple’s iPod and Microsoft’s Zune.
“We think our customers are going to love this, and we expect to offer more than half of the songs on iTunes in DRM-free versions by the end of this year,” Steve Jobs, chief executive of Apple said in a statement. Apple offers more than 5 million tracks on its online store.
The use of DRM has been controversial. Critics claim the technology hasn’t been effective in preventing privacy, and has discouraged consumers from downloading music. Nevertheless, major record companies have been unwilling to release their catalogs DRM free, fearful that they would lose control over the distribution of their product.
Apples will offer customers the option of upgrading their libraries of previously purchased EMI music to the DRM-free format for an additional 30 cents a song. EMI music videos will be available free of restrictions with no change in price.
Sean Lennon, who was only four when his famous father was murdered, says he knows of no other life than one under constant public scrutiny.
Sean Lennon is accustomed to people recognizing him because of his famous parents, but one incident really caught him off-guard. “When I was 15, a cabdriver asked me if I was
Paul McCartney’s daughter,” the 31-year-old singer told AP Radio in a recent interview. “That really blew my mind.”
Lennon said he usually finds himself unfazed by all the attention he gets as the son of Yoko Ono and former Beatle John Lennon, who was killed in New York City in 1980. “I don’t have any perspective on a life without people freaking out about my parents, so I don’t know what it would be like for that not to happen,” he said.
“People only have glimpses of like, you know, who I might be and I don’t think people have a real sense of what I’m like necessarily,” he said. “I get the spoiled-rich-kid thing a lot and I get the serious-thing a lot, but I think people are misunderstanding me.”
Lennon, who is on tour in support of his latest album, “Friendly Fire,” prefers to be on the road. “I like playing music live for people because it’s the way music was meant to be heard,” he said. “We’ve only been recording music for a couple hundred years.”
“Normal” is a relative concept, really. I grew up moving all the time because my dad was in the Army and can’t imagine having lived in one place all my life. Still, I can’t imagine life without privacy.
Heather Mills is set to appear on Dancing With The Stars. Heather, who had her left leg amputated below the knee after being hit by a motorbike in 1993, will be learning to salsa later this year and plans to donate her appearance fee to the animal charity Viva.
A source told Daily Express newspaper: “Some may think this is a surprising way for Heather to raise her profile in the US but she has never been stifled by her disability. She is a great skier and a superb dancer.â€
The 39-year-old former model has always promoted an active life for amputees and memorably removed her prosthetic leg before showing it to talk show host Larry King during an interview
in 2002.
The source added: “Heather is keen to build a TV career in the US. The fact she apparently feels she can do the show despite her false leg is bound to create sympathy and headlines.â€
Meanwhile, her estranged husband Sir Paul McCartney is also set to appear on a hit US TV show. The Beatles legend has reportedly been approached by American Idol bosses to appear as a guest judge on the talent show.
Michael Jackson was fascinated by celebrity tragedy. He had a statue of Marilyn Monroe in his home and studied the sad Hollywood exile of Charlie Chaplin. He married the daughter of Elvis Presley.
For his legions of fans, he was the Peter Pan of pop music: the little boy who refused to grow up. But on the verge of another attempted comeback, he is suddenly gone, this time for good.
Singer Michael Jackson, the man known as the King of Pop to legions of fans around the globe, who lived most of his extraordinary life in the public eye, died Thursday in Los Angeles after going into cardiac arrest. He was 50 years old.
Michael Jackson, 50, died yesterday in Los Angeles as sensationally as he lived, as famous as a human being can get. He was a child Motown phenomenon who grew into a moonwalking megastar, the self-anointed King of Pop who sold 750 million records over his career and enjoyed worldwide adoration.
The hair — inside an autographed copy of Lennon’s book “A Spaniard in the Works” — sold to an unnamed telephone bidder.
1. “Louie Louie†– The Kingsmen: Though the song was originally written by Richard Berry, the Kingsmen’s version was a huge hit and inspired an equally huge controversy when rumors spread the virtually inaudible lyrics were super dirty. The FBI even investigated the potentially un-American nastiness of the song’s message (
