Somehow I knew that NASA would hose Stephen Colbert out of getting the space station node named after him. While it was widely known that the powers that be at NASA held the final word in the naming process, at the same time, they held an online poll which gave voters a chance to have their say.
NASA’s main choices were “Serenity“, “Earthrise“, “Legacy“, and “Venture“, yet chose the eighth place holder, “Tranquility“, instead.
Astronaut Sunita Williams presented the results of the poll, with Colbert paying extra attention to how democratic they are. Instead of having a space station node named after him, Colbert “demanded” the treadmill be named after him.
The treadmill, called Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill (COLBERT) and will be operational in August.
NASA’s Associate Administrator for Space Operations, Bill Gerstenmaier, said, “We don’t typically name U.S. space station hardware after living people and this is no exception. We have invited Stephen to Florida for the launch of COLBERT and to Houston to try out a version of the treadmill that astronauts train on.”
Maybe they should’ve told him that before he told his fanbase to go on NASA’s website and vote for him?
Before becoming one of the funniest political satirists on television, Stephen Colbert was a poor college kid who didn’t have enough money to get a car.
Before he was famous, Colbert starred in a show called, “Exit 57“, which was his first sketch comedy for Comedy Central that ran from 1995 to 1996.
This episode features Stephen as Marty along with Amy Sedaris as his wife, Gina. They play marriage counselors with a rather unorthodox method of counseling couples before they’re able to get married.
Prior to “Exit 57“, Colbert was said to have made this “stalking” video, “Charlene (I’m Right Behind You)” in 1986:
If you are a Colbert Report or The Hills fan and are a Time Warner Cable customer, you may want to start looking into DirecTV.
Come January 1st, 2009 you may not be able to see them at home!
It appears Time Warner Cable customer service was unprepared for the onslaught of complaints from subscribers flooding into call centers.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that many reps were unaware of the dispute with Viacom, which began running news crawls below its programming that 19 channels would go dark on the cable system operation at 12:01 AM on January 1st.
Viacom also placed full-page advertisements in some major market newspapers today featuring protests by its media characters, including Dora the Explorer who is shown crying because she is being taken away from her fans, or SpongeBob freaking out.
Viacom is even telling viewers they can get Dora or SpongeBob back by signing onto Time Warner Cable’s competitors DirecTV or Verizon.
Meanwhile, Time Warner Cable is prepared to refund customers for the lost programming if a deal can’t be reached by New Year’s, though the amount hasn’t been determined yet.
Rush will be making their first U.S. television appearance in more than thirty years on Comedy Central’s “Colbert Report.”
The Canadian band Rush, which hasn’t performed on U.S. television in more than three decades, will play their classic “Tom Sawyer” on the Comedy Central show Wednesday (11:30 p.m. EST). The Geddy Lee-led trio, which is currently on tour, hasn’t played on U.S. television since 1975.
Rush is only the latest act to perform on “The Report,” which has steadily edged closer to “Ed Sullivan Show” territory. With increasingly frequent musical performances, “The Report” has grown a variety-show impulse, evident in other upcoming bookings. The rapper Nas will perform on July 23, Toby Keith will return for a second performance on July 28 and Crosby, Stills and Nash will play on July 30.
The Stephen Colbert-hosted comedy show was originally launched as a parody of conservative political punditry — and shows like “The O’Reilly Factor” do not make a habit of hosting music performances. But “The Report” circus has expanded into musical realms, often with its sonorous host joining in. John Legend, Neil Young, R.E.M., Tony Bennett, Peter Frampton, Willie Nelson, Barry Manilow, John Mellencamp, the Roots and Carole King have all performed on the show.
Cool. Here’s a video of Rush playing “Tom Sawyer,” albeit not on “The Colbert Report.”
Dismissing privacy concerns, a federal judge overseeing a $1 billion copyright-infringement lawsuit against YouTube has ordered the popular online video-sharing service to disclose who watches which video clips and when.
A judge ordered YouTube to produce data on which of its videos get viewed most often and by whom.
U.S. District Judge Louis L. Stanton authorized full access to the YouTube logs after Viacom Inc. and other copyright holders argued that they needed the data to show whether their copyright-protected videos are more heavily watched than amateur clips.
The data would not be publicly released but disclosed only to the plaintiffs, and it would include less specific identifiers than a user’s real name or e-mail address.
Lawyers for Google Inc., which owns YouTube, said producing 12 terabytes of data — equivalent to the text of roughly 12 million books — would be expensive, time-consuming and a threat to users’ privacy.
The database includes information on when each video gets played, which can be used to determine how often a clip is viewed. Attached to each entry is each viewer’s unique login ID and the Internet Protocol, or IP, address for that viewer’s computer.
Stanton ruled this week that the plaintiffs had a legitimate need for the information and that the privacy concerns are speculative.
Stanton rejected a request from the plaintiffs for Google to disclose the source code — the technical secret sauce — powering its market-leading search engine, saying there’s no evidence Google manipulated its search algorithms to treat copyright-infringing videos differently.
The court has yet to rule on Google’s requests to question comedians Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert of Viacom’s Comedy Central.
source: YouTube ordered to reveal its viewers [cnn]
Presenting The 25 Funniest People in America. From Conan O’Brien to Stephen Colbert, Tina Fey to Craig Ferguson, let’s count down the names of the entertainers who make us laugh the hardest.
25. AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
Burroughs’ best-selling memoir Running with Scissors — about being raised by a nutso shrink who studies his poo and rents the back shed to a pedophile — is unbelievably disturbing. And sidesplitting. At first we felt guilty giggling at his adventures with an electroshock therapy machine, but Burroughs knows that laughter is the best antidepressant. Much better than booze, which the author struggles to kick in his equally effervescent follow-up, Dry.
24. CATHERINE O’HARA
After her run on SCTV in the late ’70s, Hollywood didn’t know what to do with O’Hara. Fortunately, Christopher Guest did. In Waiting for Guffman, she and Fred Willard are tracksuit-wearing answers to Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire; in Best in Show, she’s a onetime floozy with a prize terrier and a torrid past; and in A Mighty Wind, O’Hara shows off a subtler comic touch, proving that humor doesn’t always mean a pie in the face.
23. SARAH SILVERMAN
The Lenny Bruce of the 21st century might be this hot, foul-mouthed, button-punching stand-up. Silverman is ruthlessly funny about topics like sex, the Holocaust, and 9/11, which may be why The Sarah Silverman Program has a permanent slot on our DVR. Oh, and if you hadn’t heard, she’s f—ing Matt Damon.
22. DAVE CHAPPELLE
The fact that Diamond Dave is all but absent from the comedic stage these days doesn’t invalidate his funny. After all, Chappelle’s revered Comedy Central show — on which the wiry comic gleefully engaged in crass T&A humor, swore like a sailor, and mocked everyone in the multiculti rainbow, confronting race in a way that is positively Pryor-esque — is still the best sketch comedy this country has seen in more than a decade. For that alone, he deserves a spot on any list like this.
21. DEMETRI MARTIN
You know what’s funny? Palindromes and anagrams. ”Shut up, Grandma,” you say, but we say shut up yourself and watch Demetri Martin work a stand-up mic. ”A drunk driver’s very dangerous. Everybody knows that. But so is a drunk backseat driver — if he’s persuasive.” The floppy-haired heir to Steven Wright won a prestigious award at last year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe, taking him from the comedy underground to…the comedy slightly less underground.
20. DIABLO CODY
Not to be partial, but the newly minted Oscar winner showed off her comedic — and emotional — chops with her debut screenplay for Juno. Did we mention it won an Oscar?
19. CRAIG FERGUSON
Late night is the province of the mono-name. Jay! Dave! Conan! Then there’s that Scottish guy, two-name ID required: Craig Ferguson. You know, the one who can’t quite be pinned down. Since taking over CBS’ Late Late Show from Craig Kilborn in 2005, Ferguson has brought a fresh burst of energy to the format. He’s reinvented the opening monologue, doing away with most of the topical jokes and just ad-libbing about his life. Along with fresh energy, he’s brought something else — ratings. Ferguson, 45 and a brand-spanking-new U.S. Citizen, doesn’t get as much media attention as time-slot competitors Jimmy Kimmel or Conan, but with an audience of just under 2 million, the great Scot outperforms the former and has climbed within 500,000 viewers of the latter.
18. JACK BLACK
Black is an entirely new classification of human: the frenetic slacker. Before his turn as doofus band reject/inspirational teacher Dewey Finn in School of Rock, he was the Ritalin-deprived half of Tenacious D (along with his partner, Kyle Gass) and the list-obsessed record-shop shlub in High Fidelity. He is, inarguably, the coolest fusion of music and comedy since Spinal Tap. (And, if Tropic Thunder is as good as we’ve been led to believe, we’ll forgive him that whole Nacho Libre business.)
17. DAVID LETTERMAN
With a receding hairline and a jogger’s grim jowls, Dave is no one’s idea of a hip comic, and he likes it that way. New-school gone old-school, the upstart who first pumped irony into the talk show still rails against the stupidity of the powerful and yet has the charm to melt Julia Roberts.
16. AMY SEDARIS AND DAVID SEDARIS
Big brother is the best-selling author of the sublime autobiographical essay collections Me Talk Pretty One Day and Naked, full of terrific riffs about stuff like his cuckoo-clock North Carolina clan and his midget guitar teacher. Little sis was the rubber-faced star of Comedy Central’s truly strange Strangers With Candy, as well as coauthor of the book Wigfield.
15. WILL FERRELL
See, there’s this man-child who latches onto Will Ferrell in most every role he plays — and good luck getting the little guy to let go. As a result, we are treated to inspired displays of dolt-trapped-in-the-headlights hijinks, be it in the form of Old School’s keghead Frank the Tank (who goes from repressed to regressed to undressed) or Talladega Nights’ Ricky Bobby, the dumbest, most earnest NASCAR driver on the circuit — who’s also the most comfortable with his sexuality.
14. RICKY GERVAIS
Okay, so he doesn’t spend all that much of his time in America. We don’t care. Whether as the creator of The Office and Extras, a supporting actor in movies like For Your Consideration or Night at the Museum, or doing killer stand-up (as seen most recently in Grand Theft Auto IV), he’s still as funny as the dog’s bollocks.
13. ELLEN DEGENERES
DeGeneres, whose career seemed all but kaput a few years ago, has earned back adoration simply by being her affably dry self on the Emmy-winning The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Whether it’s her circuitous monologues, her deadpan celebrity interviews, or that vocal turn as Dory in Finding Nemo, she remains one of the cleanest, coolest funny ladies around.
12. DAVID CROSS
All conversations about his genius start here: Along with Bob Odenkirk, he created the cunning HBO sketch series Mr. Show, which routinely put SNL to silly shame. And not only does Cross work little miracles in supporting roles (remember his role as feckless freak-job Tobias on Fox’s Arrested Development?), he can drop some pretty fearsome stand-up (who else talks about being raped by the Virgin Mary?). Simply put, this dude never kowtows for his funny.
11. CONAN O’BRIEN
Smarty-pants isn’t usually a compliment, but O’Brien wears them so well. When this Harvard geek isn’t riffing on Muammar Gaddafi in his monologue, he’s making absurd innovations in low-brow comedy. Now, let’s see if those absurd innovations will play on The Tonight Show….
The Saturday Night Live scene-stealer has found her stride in her third season, thanks to breakout characters like the Target clerk and the obsessively competitive Penelope, as well as spot-on impressions of Jamie Lee Curtis and Suze Orman.
9. LARRY DAVID
Because he’s a balding, neurotic, self-consumed, multimillionaire malcontent who reacts to most social interactions as if he just took a whiff of some really bad cheese. Because the only thing he hates more than these situations is himself. Because he’s the most hilariously doomed white-guy antihero we’ve ever seen, and has no problems taking on every sacred cow. Because we have no idea how much of this Larry David — from the HBO comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm — is swiped from the real Larry David. And because both Larry Davids co-created one of the best comedies ever, Seinfeld.
8. AMY POEHLER AND WILL ARNETT
The funniest married couple on the list. (Sorry, Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann.) When they’re apart (she, on Saturday Night Live and in Baby Mama; he, late of Arrested Development and currently guesting on 30 Rock), they’re great. But when they’re together, as when they played brother-and sister figure skaters in Blades of Glory, they’re resplendent. So let’s get those crazy kids together more often, shall we?
7. MATT STONE AND TREY PARKER
Now in their eleventh season of South Park, these potty mouths with a purpose continue to remind us what full creative control gets you: moments so wrong, they’re right (Ben Affleck falling in love with Cartman’s hand comes to mind). Added bonus: The ninth season episode, ”Trapped in the Closet” contains the most sober explanation of the background of Scientology you’ll ever hear.
6. CHRIS ROCK
Television failed him (Saturday Night Live didn’t know what to do with his bright-bulb humor, and his HBO talk show couldn’t contain him). The movies didn’t get him (though this is as much Rock’s fault as anyone’s, given he wrote and directed his most recent starring vehicles, the underperforming Head of State and I Think I Love My Wife). But on the stage, Rock is a man on a mission, mercilessly tackling race, religion, money, and relationships. And his missionaries are legion.
5. STEVE CARELL
Sometimes, it hurts so good. The pain, the discomfort, the agony of watching Carell’s Michael Scott work himself into another awkward scenario on NBC’s The Office…and almost work himself out. And the fact that we don’t hate Michael — on the contrary, we feel a warm, chocolatey pity for him — is a testament to Carell, who leavens the bald incompetence with wide-eyed awe.
4. JON STEWART AND THE ‘DAILY SHOW’ TEAM
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is the most consistent laugh machine on TV — and the only news source for scores of cynics and slackers. It’s not often that a comedy show can tackle politics, embrace a cogent point of view, and still maintain its anarchic spark. The scribes at The Daily Show pull it off four nights a week. As the heart and soul of the show, Stewart is evenhanded but never meek; as an interviewer, he can make his guests comfortable even as he’s taking them apart. Then there’s his gang of ”correspondents,” who soldier straight-facedly into the great American absurd and take no prisoners. Empirically speaking, there’s nothing funny about what’s going on in the world right now. Yet here we are each week, chortling.
3. TINA FEY
It takes a certain self-confidence to play a woman who accidentally dates her third cousin, erroneously assumes her neighbor is a terrorist, and gets called the C-word by a colleague (especially when said character is based on you). ”I love going to those uncomfortable places,” says Fey, who stars as 30 Rock’s workaholic TV maven and is also the NBC show’s creator and exec producer. ”I’ll go down any weird avenue.” Maybe this year’s surprise Emmy win for best comedy will empower Fey to pursue some dreams for her alter ego. ”Liz Lemon could do an international adoption for a Russian baby and get the paperwork wrong with the European dates and somehow end up with a huge, muscular 13-year-old. Yeah, I could see that.” Hopefully we will too.
2. STEPHEN COLBERT AND THE ‘COLBERT REPORT’ TEAM
The once (and, we’re sure, future) presidential nominee, author, and dedicated windbag also happens to be one of the smartest satirists working today. Heck, if all the dude had on his resume was the legendary 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner, he’d go down in comedy history. But week-in and week-out, Colbert takes aim at the political-industrial complex — and I don’t care if there’s no such term — and spins the facts into truth. Or truthiness. Whichever’s easier.
1. THE JUDD APATOW POSSE
Can you even remember what movie comedy looked like before writer-director-producer Judd Apatow and his ever-expanding comedy clan (including Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Jonah Hill, and Paul Rudd) came along last summer with two stiff shots of cathartic humor — the oops-she’s-preggers romp Knocked Up and the high school raunchfest Superbad? Today, when studio execs have a comedy that feels flat or formulaic, the call goes out to ”Judd it up” — sweet irony for a man once best known for critically beloved flops like TV’s Freaks and Geeks. ”It was always my dream to become a verb,” Apatow deadpans. ”That’s what I wrote in my high school yearbook.”
Viacom filed $1 billion copyright infringement lawsuit challenging YouTube’s ability to keep copyrighted material off its popular video-sharing site threatens how hundreds of millions of people exchange all kinds of information on the Internet, YouTube owner Google Inc. said.
Google’s lawyers made the claim in papers filed in U.S. District Court in Manhattan as the company responded to Viacom Inc.’s latest lawsuit alleging that the Internet has led to “an explosion of copyright infringement” by YouTube and others.
The back-and-forth between the companies has intensified since Viacom brought its lawsuit last year, saying it was owed damages for the unauthorized viewing of its programming from MTV, Comedy Central and other networks, including such hits as “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.”
In papers submitted to a judge late Friday, Google said YouTube “goes far beyond its legal obligations in assisting content owners to protect their works.”
It said that by seeking to make carriers and hosting providers liable for Internet communications, Viacom “threatens the way hundreds of millions of people legitimately exchange information, news, entertainment and political and artistic expression.”
Google said YouTube was faithful to the requirements of the 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act, saying the federal law was intended to protect companies like YouTube as long as they responded properly to content owners’ claims of infringement.
On that score, Viacom says Google has set a terrible example.
In a rewritten lawsuit filed last month, Viacom said YouTube consistently allows unauthorized copies of popular television programming and movies to be posted on its Web site and viewed tens of thousands of times.
Viacom said it had identified more than 150,000 unauthorized clips of copyrighted programming — including “SpongeBob SquarePants,” “South Park” and “MTV Unplugged” episodes and the documentary “An Inconvenient Truth” — that had been viewed “an astounding 1.5 billion times.”
The company said its count of unauthorized clips represents only a fraction of the content on YouTube that violates its copyrights.
It said Google and YouTube had done “little or nothing” to stop infringement.
“To the contrary, the availability on the YouTube site of a vast library of the copyrighted works of plaintiffs and others is the cornerstone of defendants’ business plan,” Viacom said.
Frankly, I think it’s all blown out of proportion. Most of what is perceived as copyright infringement could be simply chalked up to promotion. They should be glad we care enough.
source: YouTube suit called threat to online communication [yahoo news]
Stephen Colbert kicked off his presidential campaign in his home state of South Carolina on Sunday.
The Comedy Central comedian made an appearance at the University of South Carolina in Columbia. While there, Stephen got the key to the city and was proclaimed South Carolina’s favorite son by Mayor Bob Coble.
The host of The Colbert Report, recently announced that he would be running for President in 2008 but only in South Carolina. His plan is to run on both the Republican and Democratic ticket.
Colbert was honored to receive the key to the city and said he “loves South Carolina, almost as much as South Carolina loves” him.
Stephen also says that if he is elected as President, he promises not only to crush the state of Georgia, but also Tennessee.
However, ABC is reporting the Campaign Finance Law may spoil his fun:
With its snack-food sponsorship, Democratic and Republican affiliations, and Sen. Larry Craig as a possible running mate, Stephen Colbert’s run for the presidency is hardly serious business.
But the joke could be on Colbert if federal election officials decide his candidacy is for real.
If his campaign plays out the way he’s indicated that it will, Comedy Central and Colbert’s sponsor, Doritos, could be violating federal laws that bar corporations from backing political campaigns, election law experts say.
“How serious can you get about running as a joke?” said Massie Ritsch, communications director for the Center for Responsive Politics, a non-partisan group that tracks campaign finances. “The Federal Election Commission doesn’t have a great sense of humor.”
Even Ryan Seacrest dressed like that couldn’t get people to watch the Emmys this year. The broadcast may have been the least-watched in history.
Preliminary figures from Nielsen Media Research put the audience for Sunday’s show, aired on Fox, at 13.1 million viewers. That’s three million fewer than for last year’s telecast, on NBC, and less than the record low 13.8 million three years ago on ABC.
What were people watching? About 13.3 million viewers chose to watch the New England Patriots play the San Diego Chargers instead. Which is sad since the Patriots won 38-14 and it wasn’t even a game after the first quarter.
The best part of the whole broadcast was Katherine Heigl correcting the announcer who mispronounced her name. Other than that, there were no real surprises. But if you’re interested, you can see all the winners after the jump
Tonight is the airing of Comedy Central’s roast of Flavor Flav. Here’s a preview of Jimmy Kimmel unscripted. Or if you’re like me, instead of a preview, it will be the only part of the show you hear about.
“It’s exciting Flav’s ladies are here in the audience tonight,” Kimmel said at the taping a couple of weeks ago. “Potty, Toasty, Sleepy, Dopey, Slutty.” After Kimmel joked, “They named the show ‘Flavor of Love’ because VH1 decided the original title, ‘Black Guy Impregnates 20 Whores’ wasn’t catchy enough,’ ” some of the “Flavor” girls made obscene gestures at the dais. Kimmel ad-libbed, “Did the whores do something? Yes, yes, that will change the perceptions about you.”
I cannot believe they’re making Flavor of Love 3. It was funny for a minute, but move on VH1.
On Saturday, Dave Chappelle checked into an L.A. emergency room, and was released a few hours later. “It was exhaustion; he had been traveling,” his rep said. “He’s fine.”
My question is, how is he exhausted? I haven’t heard about Chapelle since he left his $50 million contract at Comedy Central and went on a “spiritual retreat” to South Africa to help with the stress.
Apparently he’s been doing standup, and even broke the endurance record at the Laugh Factory in April by performing his routine for more than six hours. I guess that could make you tired.
Now that he’s back on the standup circuit, Dave Chappelle has a lot to say. The comic, who walked out on a $50 million deal to continue his TV show and briefly took a respite in South Africa, shattered the Laugh Factory’s endurance record by taking to the comedy club’s stage for six hours and seven minutes on Sunday.
“He was absolutely amazing, for six hours making people laugh,” the club’s owner, Jamie Masada, said Tuesday.
Masada said the previous record of three hours and 50 minutes was accomplished earlier this month by Dane Cook . But until then the mark had stood at two hours and 41 minutes since Richard Pryor set it in 1980.
Chappelle walked out on the third season of his hit Comedy Central show last May, leaving fans and industry observers to question his motives and even his sanity.
He has said since that he didn’t feel he could be himself on the show.
“The bottom line was, white people own everything, and where can a black person go and be himself or say something that’s familiar to him and not have to explain or apologize?” he told Esquire magazine.
He has since returned to the standup circuit and released the documentary “Dave Chappelle ’s Block Party.”
The episode, which is still in production, will have the town at the heart of “South Park” preparing for the arrival of Clinton for a big campaign rally. At the same time, the character Cartman suspects a new Muslim student is behind a terrorist threat - one that includes Clinton as a target.
Comedy Central insiders wouldn’t reveal more of the story line - and also suggested it’s not unusual for content to change several times until the point where the producers deliver the show to the network for airing at 10 p.m.
The episode, “The Snuke,” marks the first time Clinton will be animated on the series, which has made references to her before.
Creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker insist on creating each episode in a week, ensuring that the ideas are fresh and not over-worked. It’s quite possible, indeed, that the show is not yet finished and even they don’t know how it’ll turn out.
Vanessa Grigoriadis looks at Comedy Central’s “South Park” as it enters its tenth season for the cover story of this month’s Rolling Stone. The subhead says it all: “For ten years, ‘South Park’ has been the crudest, stupidest, most offensive show on television. And the funniest.”
Some excerpts:
It’s also the most ideologically opaque political show on television, fostering an open-ended dialogue on difficult questions like whether one has a duty to obey unfair laws or if there is a God in an evil world. Unlike The Simpsons, which is intellectual and pleasantly dumb in its portrayal of American life, using both to further a leftist agenda, South Park offers simple parables — often with an optimistic message — to take aim at all issues without ever showing its hand. “If Matt and Trey came out and said what they were about, all of a sudden people would watch the show with a map,” says Penn Jillette, a close friend. “But you shouldn’t have a map to look at during the ride. You must trust the art and not the artist. They’ll never say what they’re about.”
[...]
Most of South Park’s humor either advocates radical individualism (everyone is stupid, so don’t listen to anyone but yourself) and/or a conservative agenda (this is a great country, and you’re a pussy if you’re down in the mouth about President Bush). Neither Stone nor Parker will delineate his political views, and both contend that the libertarian label, which has been applied to them in recent years, is not entirely appropriate. (As far as the “South Park Republicans” tag that was affixed to their fans a few years ago to define the “cool” part of the conservative movement, they say it’s a dumb notion.) They won’t talk about the war, even to voice an opinion on President Bush’s new troop-deployment plan. “I wouldn’t even begin to say I know enough to say if it’s right or wrong, because whomever is telling you it’s wrong is full of shit too,” says Parker. Neither votes — “like, ever,” says Stone. Parker waves a hand in the air. “Each election is a choice with a douche or a turd, so who cares,” he says. “If Gore had beaten Bush, things wouldn’t be much different.”
While Stone is in fact deeply immersed in politics and a serious reader of nonfiction books about the Middle East, I practically have to wrestle him to hear a smidge of his politics: He’s against the War on Drugs, pro-gay marriage, against socialized medicine and basically in favor of free markets, except in cases like dropping public funding for roads or education. As for Parker, who owns a couple of guns, the closest I can come is his paraphrase of Team America’s climactic monologue: “There’s a difference between dicks and assholes. Because there are terrorists — assholes — you’ve got to have dicks, people who hunt down terrorists. Dicks are bad, and it sucks to be a dick, but it’s way worse to be an asshole, and because there are assholes, we need dicks. So shut the fuck up, all you pussies!”
Try to argue back to this kind of logic, and the joke’s on you, much to the glee of Stone and Parker. “We went to a party in Malibu on the beach recently,” says Stone, “and this woman came up to us, like, ‘Oh, my son is at the University of Colorado, and I can’t get him to go to class, because he snowboards all the time.’ I’m immediately thinking, ‘Fuck you and your kid,’ because I couldn’t afford to snowboard in college. Then I say, ‘Yeah, I still go to Colorado to visit my family.’ She’s like, ‘So they really are just a bunch of gun-toting hicks out there, aren’t they?’ I’m like, ‘I just told you my mom and dad and sister live there.’ Then Trey walks up to her and says, ‘George Bush is a great man.’ She looked like we’d poured acid in her ear. We were laughing our asses off.”
“That’s the most punk-rock thing you can do in L.A.: say ‘George Bush is fucking awesome’ instead of talking about how lame it is that he’s fighting for oil,” says Parker. “The only way to be more hardcore than everyone else is to tell the people who think they’re the most hardcore that they’re pussies, to go up to a tattooed, pierced vegan and say, ‘Whatever, you tattooed faggot, you’re a pierced faggot and whatever.’ ” He looks very pleased with himself. “That’s hardcore.”
With its snack-food sponsorship, Democratic and Republican affiliations, and Sen. Larry Craig as a possible running mate, Stephen Colbert’s run for the presidency is hardly serious business. 
Preliminary figures from Nielsen Media Research put the audience for Sunday’s show, aired on Fox, at 13.1 million viewers. That’s three million fewer than for last year’s telecast, on NBC, and less than the record low 13.8 million three years ago on ABC.
