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Happy Friday! Today, we’ve got the best celebrity quotes of the week! This week’s top quotes include Katy Perry’s snappy reply on “American Idol”, Josh Duhamel’s wife stalking and Mariah Carey’s porn joke. Enjoy!
“Nick, come on, you know you look at porn. Tonight when me and my husband look at porn, I already know it’s gonna be a humdinger!”
– Mariah Carey, pretending to be “Debbie from Long Island,” prank calling husband Nick Cannon’s radio show, Rollin’ With Nick Cannon on 92.3 NOW FM
“I might just be way too boring to ever be a really great actress.”
– Jessica Biel, to “Vogue”
“I want to make out with the fat guy from The Hangover…He’s amazing. I like big, fat guys with beards that wear thick glasses.”
– Ke$ha, revealing her secret crush on Zach Galifianakis to The Morning Mash Up on SIRIUS XM Radio
“I think it’s just the way I grew up, like my grandma did it, my mom did it. It’s like a very natural thing to put the jellies in your purse. I’ll bring Ziploc bags on a trip and fill it with the hotel shampoos. I haven’t paid for soap in three years so you tell me who’s doing it right.”
– Kristen Bell, revealing her family’s frugal traditions, on “Lopez Tonight”
“I gave her an iPod. And when the naughty scenes came on, I pressed ‘play’ and covered her eyes.”
– Ryan Gosling, explaining how his mom watched his new movie “Blue Valentine” at the Sundance Film Festival, to MTV
“This is not a Lifetime movie, sweetheart.”
– “American Idol” guest judge Katy Perry, clashing with fellow judge Kara Dioguardi during the show’s L.A. tryouts
“I decided to get a tattoo because it was the most shocking thing I could think of doing. Now I’m utterly disgusted and shocked because it’s become completely mainstream, which is unacceptable to me.”
– Helen Mirren, on “Good Morning America”
“Honestly, I think some of my family members of a certain generation were more skittish about me playing a gay character on Six Feet Under than watching me play a killer.”
– “Dexter” star Michael C. Hall, on his family being okay with him playing a serial killer, to “Parade” magazine
“You can’t be Mick and Keith. You can’t be the one on drugs and the one in control.”
– Courtney Love, equating her failed solo music effort to the Rolling Stones, to “Dazed and Confused” magazine
“That’s how I got my wife. I literally stalked her for weeks until she said yes. They say it’s not stalking if she says yes.”
– Josh Duhamel, sharing how he romanced Fergie, to “Parade” magazine
source: 10 Best Celeb Quotes This Week – [people]
Rihanna & Her Snow Globes – City Rag
Asher Roth Says He’s Not Gay – Tabloid Prodigy
Jamie Jungers Has Pics Of Tiger Woods’ Junk – F-Listed
Magical Nerd Glasses Are Working For Ashley Dupre – Pop Eater
Audrina Patridge Is Showing Off Her Legs – Drunken Stepfather
Kerry Katona Is Facing Homelessness – Holy Moly
Tom Cruise Sued For Spying – Anything Hollywood
Rihanna Getting Flirty With Kanye West? – Hollywood Dame
Kendra Wilkinson Talks About Little Hank Peeing On Her – Wonderwall
Ugh..What Is Kate Hudson Wearing? – Celebrity Smack
Courtney Love Is No Longer Guardian Of Her Shirt – Celeb News Wire
Brittany Murphy’s Autopsy Is Normal – ICYDK
Lady Gaga’s “Speechless” Gets Remixed – Popbytes
No Joke, It’s Lindsay Lohan – Ninja Dude
Britney Spears Doesn’t Care For Your Gossip – Litely Salted
McLovin Is Out On The Town! – Pacific Coast News
OMG, She Scares Children: Mystery Scary Claus! – OMG! Blog
Five Things Every Good Boyfriend Must Have – College Candy
Beyonce’s Packing Some Serious Heat – Hollywire
Tamara Mellon Is Topless – The Superficial
Tila Tequila Is Pregnant With Her Brother’s Baby – Allie Is Wired
Kim Kardashian’s Boobs Made A Commercial – Tabloid Prodigy
LeeLee Sobieski Popped Out A Kid – Pop Eater
Courtney Love Buying Drugs With Frances’ Money? – Celebrity Smack
Diddy Wanted His Cherry Popped At 7 – Celeb News Wire
RuPaul For President! – OMG! Blog
Guy Ritchie Gets Restricted – Wonderwall
Jessica Hart Shows Her Tush In A Skimpy Bikini – Drunken Stepfather
Elin Woods Will Be Single Soon – The Superficial
Rachel McAdams Talks About Lindsay Lohan – Hollywire
Lady Gaga’s Christmas Album – Popbytes
Tiger Woods Offered $1 Million Strip Club Endorsement – Anything Hollywood
Lindsay Lohan Is Looking Moody – Pacific Coast News
Where Is Shia LaBeouf’s Hand?? – Holy Moly
These Kids Are So Scared Of Santa Claus – City Rag
Hey Remember That Jon Gosselin Guy? – Fatback Media
Tiger Woods Vs. Miss Piggy – Litely Salted
Facebook Settings Make Stalking Easier – College Candy
Demi Moore Called Old & Ugly – Allie Is Wired
Separated At Wonky: Paris Hilton & Chantelle Houghton – City Rag
What Happened To David Hasselhoff? – Pop Eater
Adrian Grenier Hosts Sh*t.com Launch – Tabloid Prodigy
Diddy Launches A New Album; Gets Stalkerish – Holy Moly
Nicole Kidman Powdered Her Nose Face – The Superficial
Nick Jonas Can Count To 5 – Hollywire
Ben Bernanke Beat Out Surprised Kitty? – Hollywood Dame
Ice-T’s Wife Has A Ginormic Booty – Drunken Stepfather
Jamie Lynn Sigler Gets A Scary Surprise – Wonderwall
Tiger Woods Porn Spoof Coming Soon? – Fatback Media
Angelina Jolie Threatens Suicide? – Celeb News Wire
Pamela Anderson Has A Job? – Celebrity Smack
Lindsay Lohan Did This On Purpose? – Popbytes
Chris Martin Is Lookin’ Rough & Homeless – Pacific Coast News
Elin Nordegren Might Have A Deal With Puma – Anything Hollywood
The New “Alice In Wonderland” Trailer – OMG! Blog
Kate Hudson Gets Advice From Her Mom – ICYDK
A Bird Pooped On Tori Spelling’s Head – Litely Salted
Courtney Love Calls Her Daughter A Liar – Allie Is Wired
Noah Cyrus Gets Skanky Back Stage – Tabloid Prodigy
Keira Knightley To Pose Nude – F-Listed
Joey McIntyre Is Still Relevant? – Pop Eater
Pamela Anderson Is Some Kind Of Weird Genie? – Holy Moly
We Think We Love Jude Law, Too – Popbytes
Is John Mayer Done Bangin’ Chicks? – Anything Hollywood
Tom Cruise Spoils The Ladies – Hollywood Dame
Kate Hudson Wears Her Pajamas Outside – Drunken Stepfather
Wanna Shop In Lindsay Lohan’s Closet? – Hollywire
Jessica Simpson Is Going To Eat The World – The Superficial
Don’t Ask Nicole Kidman About Scientology – Litely Salted
Something Is Off About Heather Graham – ICYDK
Robert Downey Jr Is On Fire! – Celebrity Smack
This Is How Gwen Stefani Stays Fit – Pacific Coast News
Courtney Love Gets Naked & Angry – Allie Is Wired
Ekaterina Ivanova Calls Ronnie Wood A Goblin – Holy Moly
What’cha Got Olivia Munn? – City Rag
Courtney Love Loses Custody – Pop Eater
Hugh Jackman’s Shirtless Workout – The Superficial
Sophie Monk Shows Off Her Legs – Drunken Stepfather
Carey Hart Gets A Dead Pink Tattoo – F-Listed
Nicole Richie Goes Brunette! – Celebrity Smack
Snookie Calls Out ‘The Hills‘ – Litely Salted
Sienna Miller & Jude Law Are Making It Official – Celeb News Wire
Russell Brand Got Held Up At LAX – ICYDK
The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty (Gets Paid) – Popbytes
Your “There’s Nothing On TV” Survival Guide – College Candy
Taylor Swift Is 20, Still Boring – Fatback Media
Katy Perry Is A Sexy Santa – Anything Hollywood
Rumer Willis Knows She Won’t Melt In The Rain – Pacific Coast News
Michael Lohan Has Gotten Tossed Into Jail – Wonderwall
The Official Tiger Woods Grieving Center – The Dirty
Check Out Zac Efron – Tabloid Prodigy
Jennifer Aniston Is Still Not Adopting – Hollywood Dame
Taylor Lautner Gets Revenge On Kanye West – Hollywire
Kate Hudson Is Back On The Market – Allie Is Wired
Chelsea Handler Calls Katie Price Stupid – Tabloid Prodigy
Adam Lambert Used To Be Fat? – Pop Eater
Is Drew Barrymore Drunk Or Happy? – City Rag
Taylor Swift’s Dirty Edit Of The Day – Drunken Stepfather
It’s Sandra Bullock’s New Look: Cholariffic! – OMG! Blog
Megan Fox Tries Too Hard To Be Sexy – Holy Moly
Suri Cruise Hearts High Heels – Celebrity Smack
Heather Graham Blamed For Barack Obama’s Presidency – Celeb News Wire
Alec Baldwin To Give Up Acting When The World Ends – Wonderwall
Nick Lachey & Vanessa Minnillo Are Still Doing It – Popbytes
Lady Gaga Falls On Her Butt! – Hollywire
Khloe & Kim Kardashian & Full Of Crap – The Superficial
Are You Too Fat To Graduate? – College Candy
Nick Hogan Is Still Murder On Wheels – Litely Salted
Jennifer Garner Gets All Dolled Up – ICYDK
Britney Spears’ Weave Looks Jacked Up – Pacific Coast News
Lady Gaga Wants To Shove Fans Into Her Boobs – Ninja Dude
David Hasselhoff Was In The Nuthouse – Fatback Media
Ashley Greene Thinks Vampires Have Better Sex Lives – Anything Hollywood
Miranda Kerr Invites You To Come On In – F-Listed
Kristin Cavallari Was Molested By A Stripper – Hollywood Dame
Courtney Love & DJ Qualls Hook Up – Allie Is Wired
Courtney Love has decided to try bring some shit to her door and I feel she is about to get it in the form of Britney Spears‘ legal team.
Love has decided to accuse Britney’s father Jamie Spears of molesting his daughter, she took to her Facebook to write…
britneys dad molested her , imagine the father that molested you owning you for slavery while your forced to sing songs picked for thier sexual content every night, insane right? i have it on First had authority, and fight as hard as she is and does she still didnt pull that card, its a pride thing i can relate to, However they want to play dirty, lets go, Im SO not affraid of the little trolls who hit this when i was fucked up who are called lawyers. lets GO.
It isn’t only the Spears family that she is going after, she is also staring trouble with Edward Norton who she is accusing of doing some tricky business with Kurt Cobain’s sister Kim. For this one she writes….
IF something happens to me, NO my will is NOT at Greenberg Glusker, that will is FORGERY…i created a new one per lISA FERGUSONs attorney who cannot be FOUND but that needs altering as it has Edward in it and Norton doesn’t have a CLUE how evil his own BM is he wont fuck a future Senator/Film Actor but hell purposfully refinance Kim Cobains Property i bought her cash outright, for the 12th time using a phony address due to some fuck up on some Bogus “ART FORM OF THE CH 13” R TODD used, leavng KIM COBAINS PROPERTY REPOS…SESED< “you have an hour to get your things” wtf did Kim Cobain do to YOU… so its best to never tell let alone kiss and trell i m shcoked at myself i never kiss and tell unless im really mad at an ex for like LOSING 300,000$ of my kid hes supposed to be paternal abouts money, oh yeah Norton just LOST 300k
I’m actually speechless, we all know Courtney Love is ten kinds of crazy but what the hell would make her think this is a goo idea/?
source: Courtney Love Spilling on Edward Norton, Britney Spears in Epic Facebook Meltdown [Movieline]
Stop Complaining About Adam Lambert’s “Omage” – Tabloid Prodigy
Pamela Anderson Is So Gorgeous! – Yeeeah!
James Franco Butchers The Word “Gucci” – OMG! Blog
Britney Spears Is Braless & Boozy – City Rag
Michael Jackson’s Autopsy Photo Leaked? – Pop Eater
Guess The Celebrity Tattoo – Popbytes
Courtney Love Calls Jocelyn Wildenstein Freaky – Holy Moly
Go Green With Evangeline Lilly! – Celeb News Wire
Taylor Lautner Doesn’t Want To Be A Sex Symbol – Anything Hollywood
Andre Agassi’s Mohawk Mullet Was Fake! – Celebrity Smack
Demi Lovato & Joe Jonas Are Hooking Up – Hollywire
Beware Of These Relationship Red Flags – College Candy
Angel McCord Thinks She’s Marilyn Monroe – Drunken Stepfather
Kate Gosselin Isn’t Ready To Date Yet – The Superficial
Dane Cook Says He Wasn’t Evicted – Wonderwall
Andy Dick Works On His Fitness…Eww – Pacific Coast News
Miley Cyrus, The Worst Celeb Of 2009? – Hollywood Dame
Pete Wentz Gets Another Dumb Tattoo – Allie Is Wired
Guess The Celebrity Age! – City Rag
Courtney Love Quits Twitter, Too? – Pop Eater
Dita Von Teese Is Fierce! – Popbytes
The Saturdays Get Utterly Hammered! – Holy Moly
Kirsten Stewart Likes To Bite Stuff – Tabloid Prodigy
Dannielynn Birkhead Is An Anna Nicole Mini-Me – Celebrity Smack
Gone In 60 Seconds: Nicolas Cage’s Money – Celeb News Wire
More Jon & Kate Gosselin BS – Fatback Media
10 Things That Should Be Banned Instead Of Books – College Candy
Jimmy Kimmel Has Really Awful Timing – Websters Is My Bitch
Jesse McCartney Screws Up The National Anthem – Hollywire
Guess Who The Kissy-Faced Couple Is – ICYDK
OMG, How Unfortunate: Regretsy – OMG Blog!
Angelina Jolie Could Care Less About Jennifer Aniston – Wonderwall
Lindsay Lohan Is Stealing? – Anything Hollywood
Megan Fox Killed Off In The Next ‘Transformers’? – Hollywood Dame
The 90’s: When New School Rap Was Founded – F-Listed
Someone Is Actually Having Sex With Jeremy Piven – Drunken Stepfather
Christina Aguilera Has Pumpkins, Too – The Superficial
Jason Lewis Is Lookin’ Divine! – Pacific Coast News
Jessica Simpson Tormented By Calls About Her Dog – Allie Is Wired
Elderly Man With Sneezing Sex Fetish Arrested – Tabloid Prodigy
Fred Durst’s Marriage Is Already Over – Pop Eater
Never Trust A Big Butt & A Smile – OMG Blog!
Courtney Love To Be The New Queen Of Venezuela? – F-Listed
Lucy Vodden Of Beatles Fame Dies – Celebrity Smack
Jennifer Love Hewitt Looks Like A Pumpkin – Websters Is My Bitch
Kelly Brook Feeds Your Fetish Fantasies – Celeb News Wire
Beyonce Has A Tattoo On Her Hand – City Rag
Kate Moss Wants To Sing – Holy Moly
Just Because He’s Cute: Jon Hamm – Popbytes
Scarlett Johansson & Ryan Reynolds Photographed Together! – Pacific Coast News
The Hills Revisited: Major Makeovers – College Candy
LaLa Vasquez Can’t Pay Someone To Wash Her Car? – Drunken Stepfather
Lady Gaga Doesn’t Want You To Notice Her – The Superficial
Beyonce Kicks Lindsay Lohan Out – Allie Is Wired
Accidental Dongs Are Everywhere! – Omg Blog
Shia LaBeouf Is Packing Meat – Tabloid Prodigy
Kate Moss Is Never Tardy For The Party – Popbytes
Someone Finally Translates Courtney Love To English – Pop Eater
Gerard Butler’s Got Something To Smile About – ICYDK
Pamela Anderson Is So Modest – Websters Is My Bitch
Khloe Kardashian Wants Us To Think She’s For Real – Pacific Coast News
Kirsten Dunst Is A Giggling Fool – Anything Hollywood
Phoebe Price Is Not Shy At All – Drunken Stepfather
Kimberly Stewart Scrapes The Bottom Of The Barrell – Holy Moly
Is Marilyn Manson Dying? – Celebrity Smack
Don’t Call Kevin Federline A Gold Digger – Fatback Media
Jude Law Is As Responsible As You Suspected – Celeb News Wire
Michael Jackson Touched Babies…Too Soon? – The Superficial
Taylor Swift Is Making Lots Of Money From Kanye’s Insult – Ninja Dude
Average Sex: Everybody’s Doing It – College Candy
Holly Madison Got Another Job Besides Being A Stripper – Wonderwall
Lindsay Lohan Is Still Cutting Herself – Hollywood Dame
Kristin Cavallari Apologizes For Creating Speidi – Allie Is Wired
Can’t Hump This – City Rag
Rachael Ray & 50 Cent To Team Up? – F-Listed
Joe Jackson Wants Kanye West Blackballed – The Superficial
Courtney Love’s Face Looks Ready For Halloween – Holy Moly
Mario Lopez Wears Lingerie – Popbytes
Anne Heche Is A Little Crazy – Websters Is My Bitch
Jayde Nicole Twitters Her Goodies – ICYDK
Paris Hilton Booed Off Stage – Anything Hollywood
Rachel Bilson Murdered Rainbow Bright – Pacific Coast News
Linda Hogan Is Still Raping That 19-Year-Old – Celebslam
Megan Fox Forced To Wear A Bag On Her Head – Popeater
Tom Cruise Is Officially Boring – Celebrity Smack
Mischa Barton Pulls A Lady Gaga – Celeb News Wire
OctoMom Doesn’t Have Enough Arms – Hollywire
States Ranked By Penis Size – Tabloid Prodigy
Bar Refaeli Is Killer – News Toob
Heidi Montag Gets New Puppy, Makes Jessica Simpson Cry – Allie Is Wired
Did you all have a good Labor Day weekend? Here is a list of 20 people who may or may not have had such a nice time because they are ugly but also sexy*
* Note: I did not come up with this list, some of them are pretty sexy but I wouldn’t touch most of them even if it meant losing my penis.
20. Daisy De La Hoya
We cannot even begin to account for Daisy De La Hoya. She’s like the bastard child of Marshall McLuhan and Rube Goldberg. When we try to observe Daisy like you would a normal person, all we see is a blur of colors and that bottle of whiskey she seems to always have nearby. Did you see that episode where the guy broke a glass over his own head? Daisy exists in a world of cognitive dissonance, which makes her the perfect choice for a list like this one. — Joe Bernardi
19. Danny McBride
Don’t judge Danny McBride. Sure, his redneck pompadour and puggish face may suggest the fattest, laziest fuck south of Raleigh-Durham, but tell your instincts to shut the hell up and assess the comedian for his whole: a sebaceous tower of Dixie-fried virility. Whether playing a sad-sack sensei in The Foot Fist Way or the John Rocker-esque Kenny Powers in Eastbound & Down, McBride brings a good ol’ boy sensuality to his craft. We bet his pheromones smell like Schlitz and coleslaw. — Cyriaque Lamar
18. Amanda Lepore
A lilting, strutting hybrid of Warhol’s “Marilyn” and Picasso’s La Lecture (Woman Reading), New York City’s transsexual empress has stretched both the boundaries of gender and her own epidermis, thanks to oodles of elective surgeries. Nothing like Madame Lepore exists in nature, so it’s inevitable to think of her as a nigh-mythic creature, or some kind of freaky Plasticine wet dream. — C.L.
17. Marilyn Manson
Say what you will about Brian Warner’s satanic kabuki act. Ever notice that the man has a nonstop queue of alt-nubile tail parading through his bedchamber? Rose McGowan? Dita Von Teese? Evan Rachel Wood? Lord below. That’s a pretty lively roster for a guy who once admitted, “I’m death on wheels, the way I look.” Yes, Marilyn, death on wheels. Like a Ford Pinto, with a velour-lined hatchback. Mmm, devilish. — C.L.
16. Amy Winehouse
Her undeniable talent helps mitigate her looks, sure, but more importantly, Amy Winehouse owns being a strung-out mess in a way nobody else has since the ’70s. With her labyrinth of hair, naked-girl tattoos and extremely public substance-abuse problem, she looks and acts the way the media wishes every star looked and acted. Not everyone can do it with this much poise, though, and when she’s on stage, all the drug problems in the world pale in comparison. — J.B.
15. Biz Markie
Consider the dualism of hip-hop’s Clown Prince. On one hand, he’s the MC who penned “Pickin’ Boogers,” he’s so wide he can scratch vinyl with his waistline and his brainpan is the size of a small asteroid. On the other, he’s the sensitive soul who warbled “Just a Friend,” kids love him (see his Yo Gabba Gabba spots) and he’s such an ill beatboxer he’ll serenade you with an entire philharmonic. If the Biz ain’t Prince Charming material, then we don’t know who is. — C.L.
14. Ric Ocasek
The late ’70s and early ’80s were a golden age for unphotogenic frontmen. (See Perry, Steve.) But even in those heady times, Ric Ocasek’s bird-head still managed to stick out above the crowd. We can stand here all day freaking out about Ocasek’s alien bone structure, or we can listen to “Moving in Stereo” and start in with the heavy breathing. Paulina Porizkova apparently went with the latter; points to Ocasek. — J.B.
13. Danny Trejo
Trejo is not a man. He’s a living piece of igneous rock that’s spent years out on a windy plain somewhere in the middle of nowhere, heavily bombarded by meteorites and tattoo artists. The man’s built an entire career out of looking like a cliff face. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t take that plunge. — John Constantine
12. John C. Reilly
His face is made of worn Naugahyde. He’s got the most egregious white-person afro since Bob Ross. And his voice is the mating call of an elephant seal. But that dumb-puppy-dog look belies an animal lust; you get the feeling he might leap a table and suddenly start making out with you. Lip-to-lip with this shaved-Chewbacca of a man, you’d know the meaning of desire. — C.L.
11. Woody Allen
There must’ve been something awfully appealing about Woody Allen for him to pull babes like Diane Keaton and Mia Farrow. He might be short, balding and bespectacled, but Allen makes his neuroses work for him. And if the awkward nice-guy routine doesn’t fly, he’s got a secret weapon: underneath that veneer lies a voracious sexual appetite that cannot be satisfied by time or starlets. — J.B.
10. Howard Stern
Howard Stern, despite looking like an underfed version of the creature from the black lagoon, can clearly pull (please note wife Beth Ostrosky). Women say they want confidence, and he’s clearly not afraid to ask politicians about their affairs or the world’s most beautiful women what gets them off. Just goes to show that a little chutzpah, a razor wit — and tens of millions — can make up for oiled-chainmail hair and the Adam’s apple of Ichabod Crane. — Jack Murnighan
9. Willem Dafoe
An immortal Simpsons episode finds Bart and Lisa watching a movie called “The Muppets Go Medieval”; they ask their father why one of the muppets is made of leather, not realizing they’re looking at an aging Troy McClure. We ask the same question every time Willem Dafoe is in a movie. The guy looks like a hairless Shar-Pei, and he only gets scarier when he smiles or grimaces. It’s a little exciting to be scared, isn’t it? For a taste of Dafoe’s strange allure, forget his crazy/sexy Jesus in The Last Temptation of Christ and go straight to his drag-queen performance in Boondock Saints. — J.C.
8. Steve Buscemi
In his novella The Shadow Over Innsmouth, H.P. Lovecraft described “the Innsmouth look,” a mien you inherit if your pop was a horny deckhand and your mom was an immortal fish-monster. At the risk of sounding crass, we’d marry indie cinema’s ultimate character actor in a heartbeat, even if meant wall-eyed tadpoles nine months later. Enid from Ghost World had the right idea. — C.L.
7. Tilda Swinton
It’s appropriate that Tilda Swinton played the White Witch in The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe — she looks like she could turn you to stone with a glance. But even if a David Bowie cloning experiment went awry here, some of that cold allure came through. She may not be pretty, but Tilda Swinton is damn fierce. — J.C.
6. Iggy Pop
Perceptive readers may remember that Iggy ranked #9 on our list of the forty sexiest frontmen in rock history. That his sinewy ass should also end up here is damn impressive. The years since Raw Power and Lust for Life have been hard on the man’s face, what with that heroin habit and those cameos on The Adventures of Pete and Pete; the fresh-faced Michigander who barked “TV Eye” now has the desiccated matte of a peat-bog mummy. But when it comes to sixty-two-year-olds who could still nail the shit out of you, the former Mr. Osterberg is hard to beat. — C.L.
5. Paul Giamatti
Paul Giamatti does many things well. He does schlubby (American Splendor). He does regal (John Adams). He even does a sterling “oh-my-God-I’m-so-fucking-histrionic-because-I’m-surrounded-by-total-dross” (most of his lesser films). But does he do handsome? Nuh-uh. Somebody’s got to say no to firm jaw lines and six-pack abs, and no one does it with Giamatti’s panache. His imperviousness to good looks is, in turn, incredibly sexy. — C.L.
4. Courtney Love
Mrs. Cobain could be a fetching lass if she cleaned up a bit, right? Wrong. Go watch The People vs. Larry Flynt again. Courtney Love is ugly. While we’re back in the mid-’90s though, re-watch Love’s drunken ambush of Kurt Loder and Madonna at the 1995 MTV Video Awards. Fucking with Madonna is sexy enough, but this singular moment in time also reveals Courtney’s magnetism. Yeah, she’s the girl your friends tell you not to go home with when you’ve had a few. But she’s also the gal you go home with after telling your friends, “I’m not even drunk.” — J.C.
3. Mickey Rourke
Since The Wrestler, no one can mention Mickey without talking about his puffy, almost feline face. The result of botched reconstructive surgery following an ill-advised pro-boxing career, Rourke’s mug is a far cry from the days of The Pope of Greenwich Village. That said, he’s a convincing and affable tough guy, but he also comes off like a delicate, attentive lover. You can just picture those meathook-hands wrapping around your lower back and carrying you somewhere you desperately want to be. — J.B.
2. Sandra Bernhard
Sandra Bernhard could probably beat up any of the other people on this list. After a multi-decade career of running her mouth, and extending gaping gap-toothed sneers to anyone who got in her way, Bernhard has emerged as a sort of sex symbol for contrarians, posing for Playboy and playing one of television’s first open lesbians along the way. She’s definitely funny-looking, but she’s a bad-ass kind of funny-looking. Like a hammerhead shark, or a VW Bus. — J.B.
1. Keith Richards
He may have been at war with his own body for four decades straight, but there’s always been a handsome glint in Keith Richards’ eye that suggests he thinks being a rock star is as strange and funny as we all hope it is. That glint, combined with being one of the only people on earth allowed to tell Mick Jagger to fuck off, creates a sexiness that transcends things like “a terrifying, masklike face.” It’s true that Richards might be better-looking these days if he’d stayed on the straight and narrow, but then he wouldn’t be Keith Richards. — J.B.
source: 20 Sexiest Ugly People [Nerve]
I am so puzzled by these pictures but here is Courtney Love posing with a dead turtle on her head – while lying in bed.
The regular trainwreck also known as Courtney Love put these pictures on her twitter account, for what reason I will never know.
[Click thumbnails for a larger view]
 
source: The Tortoise And The Harebrain [Dlisted]
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