Heidi Montag is just a strange chick. The former reality star has now decided that she would like to star in an unnamed movie that she wrote, in which Dolly Parton plays a mayor and Heidi saves Parton’s town from a killer shark with her tits. With her tits.
“I am making the first 3-D beach comedy about a shark that attacks a small beach town and I save the day with my 3-D boobs. I’ve even written a role for Dolly Parton to play the town mayor!”
This just blows my mind. Not that Heidi Montag is trying to pen a script about her plastic mammaries saving the day when some crazed shark starts eating people. That’s not surprising at all. I just had no idea that the goofy bitch could read and write.
Source: Heidi Montag Wants to Make a 3D Movie Where her Breasts Kill a Shark [Cinematical]
“Big breasts are a staple of the entertainment industry and will win out over talent every time. Whether they’re real or fake, it seems the bigger the breasts a woman has, the less talent she’ll need to have a career and a place in the spotlight.”
10. Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson definitely has a set of lungs on her and can belt out quite a tune. Sadly, these days Ms. Simpson is better known for her MTV reality show Newlyweds (which was on years ago) and her subsequent shambolic love life. No one pays attention to Ms. Simpson’s music anymore. Her last couple albums have bombed, her acting career never took off, and her recent switch to country music was not well received.
But the one constant through this entire period have been her ample bosoms. Like her career, Jessica’s breasts have experienced their ups and downs – usually as a result of Jessica’s fluctuating weight. In fact it seems Jessica’s breasts have gotten larger as her talent and place in the spotlight has dwindled.
Shauna has had her breasts pumped up through multiple, and sometimes botched, plastic surgeries. She has had so much work done that her bust now resembles two over-inflated balloons stuck to a stick. The 38-year-old ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas and mother of three spends her days traipsing around in tiny outfits with her much younger boyfriend/handbag, pretending not to pose for the paparazzi. This woman will turn up to the opening of an envelope, flash her breasts, make-out with said BF, and stumble home – all just to get an ounce of attention. Shauna’s breasts (among other body parts) are currently starring in her leaked, obviously staged, sex tape. Hey, it worked for plenty of other untalented hoochie-bags.
8. Paris Hilton
No one would call Paris Hilton a busty woman. The truth is that Ms. Hilton has relatively small breasts and uses every trick in the book to push them together and make them look larger. While Hilton may be lacking in the tah-tah department, her true deficiency is in the talent department.
This woman has managed to make a career out of doing absolutely nothing, which is incredible. She turned a leaked sex tape into a multi-million dollar a year career. Some could say that takes talent, but really its opportunism and the machine behind her deserves most of the credit. There’s no denying that this girl is savvy and while that may be a talent, her breasts still win out.
Paris is famously quoted as saying, “One of my heroes has always been Barbie. She may not do anything, but she always looks amazing doing it.†This sums her up perfectly, and I couldn’t have phrased it better myself.
7. Sophie Monk
Sophie Monk is an Aussie actor and singer best known for dating one of the dudes from the band Good Charlotte. She is often photographed in skimpy workout clothes or at the beach wearing a bikini. This is hardly coincidental. Monk began her career in Australia as a Marilyn Monroe impersonator. She auditioned for a spot on the Australian version of Popstars and was selected to be a part of the girl group Bardot. When the band broke up, Monk moved to the U.S. and tried her hand at acting. She has appeared in several films, and is most often cast as the stereotyped ditzy blonde piece of eye-candy. This usually means she has to flash her breasts. Even with the allure of Ms. Monk’s breasts, most of her films have gone straight to DVD.
6. Tila Tequila
Tila Tequila is part of the generation of celebrities who are famous for being famous. Tila’s single biggest achievement in life is being the most popular person on the social networking site MySpace…and that was in 2006. This popularity led to the MTV reality dating show A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila…and the rest is history. We’ve been stuck with the quasi-bisexual ever since.
These days Tila tries desperately hard to keep in the spotlight. She obsessively tweets and constantly posts videos on her website where she shakes her booty and plays with her large, D-cup fake breasts. Her breasts are an amazing piece of surgical work, but kind of look ridiculous on her tiny, 4-11 frame. It makes her look like an inflatable porn star, which is fitting as this girl is a hot second away from diving into hardcore pornography. At least she may discover a talent.
5. Dolly Parton
There is no denying that Dolly Parton is extremely talented. She is after all the reigning queen of country music and over the last five decades has become the most successful female recording artist in the history of country music. She has had a staggering 25 number one singles and a record 41 top 10 country albums. She’s also has a remarkable film career, her own theme park, and is an avid philanthropist.
But even with all her success, Dolly’s talents are literally overshadowed by her enormously large 40DD breasts. They are a marvel of nature (with a bit of help from silicone) and fast became her trademark. Dolly’s breasts are such a phenomenon that the world’s first cloned mammal Dolly the Sheep was named in her honor because the cell used to clone the sheep was taken from a ewe’s mammary gland. Honestly, there is not enough talent in the world to out-muscle or out-mammary Dolly’s rack. Even she would agree with that!
While her boobs may have grown, Heidi has become more annoying, more outspoken, and way too over-exposed. The first thing she did after her boob job was sit down with Us Weekly magazine for an “exclusive” interview. Since then she’s tried her hand at a singing career and posed for Playboy magazine (amazingly without nudity). The only thing she and her douchey husband, The Hills co-star Spencer Pratt, have mastered is the fame game and unfortunately they play it very well.
3. Pamela Anderson
Pamela Anderson is a walking set of air bags. The model and actress has had a very successful modeling and acting career. She has the most Playboy covers of any woman in the world and will surely go down in the pages of television history for her role as CJ Parker on Baywatch. Pamela may be talented, but it’s her breasts that clinched her success. Seriously, can you imagine CJ Parker as a flat-chested broad running down the beach in slow motion? No.
Pamela Anderson career didn’t even take off until she moved to Los Angeles and went under a plastic surgeon’s knife. Once she got her new assets installed, this woman never looked back. Getting breast implants was easily Pam’s most shrewd career move.
2. Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian has followed the Paris Hilton Guide to Fame to a T, except Kim has a bigger bust (like that would be hard) and marginally less talent. Like Paris, she found fame through a sex tape, starred in a reality television show, and endorsed a lot of useless crap. What sets Kim Kardashian apart from Paris Hilton is Kim has a personality and isn’t afraid to show off her body.
Kim will pretty much pose in a bikini or show off her cleavage for any company that pays her. Her single talent is working her assets and she’s been working them all the way to the bank. This actually makes her a smart businesswoman. However, even the smartest business person would fail if they were trying to offload crappy assets. It should also be noted that the only thing worth more praise than her breasts is her butt.
1. Keeley Hazel
All hail Keeley Hazell, the queen of large breasts. The British glamour model has made a career exhibiting her incredible, natural 32F sized breasts. The public’s (or more correctly Britain’s) appetite for her magnificent melons is so insatiable that not a week goes by without new topless photos being released. The amazing thing is that no matter how many times you’ve seen Keeley’s tah-tahs, they never get old.
As much as I’d like to say having large, natural breasts is a talent, it isn’t. Her breasts are little more than an arbitrary gift from nature, a great gift nonetheless and something we can all be very thankful for. But the cold hard truth is the only talent Keeley really needs is the ability to remove a bra and brave the cold. Seriously, this woman must spend half her life topless.
Fore once, this is a list I 100% agree with!
source: The Top 10 Women With More Ta-Tas Than Talent [Spike]
A desperately seeking attention Lindsay was spotted at the Dolce & Gabbana party on the French Riviera sporting a mahoosive ring on her finger.
Wearing a green, beaded micro-dress that barely concealed her hidden treasure, the drama queen denied her ring was paparazzi bait, insisting that it was the real McCoy.
The Mean Girls actress has told friends she’s happier with a woman and wants to arrange a partnership ceremony at Dollywood, Dolly Parton’s theme park, in July – around the same time as her 22nd birthday – though she still doesn’t have any sponsorship for the bash.
They had me going until they said Dollywood — that seems nutso even for Lindsay.
However, Lindsay’s father Michael Lohan has no doubt that the two are an item, he told US Weekly that their romance, “is evident to anyone with half a brain.”
Maybe Depends should sponsor the next Black Eyed Peas tour. The day after a San Diego concert, the ‘Net was packed with pics of Fergie with a huge wet spot on her crotch.
After her publicist claimed the stain was just “sweat,” Fergie confessed she’d had a few drinks and “didn’t think to go to the bathroom” before the show.
“We were jumping around … it was all very rock ‘n’ roll. And my bladder just started … you know.”
2. Out of Sync
Milli Vanilli were busted on a 1989 tour when the tape jammed as they mouthed ‘Girl You Know It’s True.’ The public later learned that the duo hadn’t sung its vocals in the studio, either. More recently, Ashlee Simpson (left) was exposed on ‘SNL’ when the wrong recording of her vocals was triggered. Milli Vanilli responded by running offstage. Simpson fled, but tried to stomp out her embarrassment with a hoedown.
15. Stuck in a Moment You Literally Can’t Get Out Of
It was a travesty of a mockery of a sham when U2, the world’s most earnest band, went ironic for its mega-sized 1997 Popmart tour. Metaphorically speaking, it doesn’t get much more precious than the incident in Oslo when the band’s 40-foot lemon-shaped pod malfunctioned, trapping the band inside. All they could do was laugh, the Edge later admitted.
14. His Name Was Mud
At Woodstock ’94, those incorrigible boys in Green Day took the fabled festival’s legendary history of muddy conditions to the punk-rock extreme, starting an epic mud-fight with the audience. With the stage filled with muck-covered fans, bassist Mike Dirnt was mistaken for a trespasser by a security guard, who leveled the musician, knocking out several teeth.
13. A Lot of Hot Air
Blow-up props, from Pink Floyd’s pigs to Limp Bizkit’s penis, are sure sources of amusement. In 1977, Fleetwood Mac celebrated their status as the world’s biggest band by incorporating a 70-foot penguin into their act. The problem with this particular inflatable was that it was always flaccid. “It would never fully inflate,” recalled Lindsey Buckingham. “This thing was limping and floundering at the back of the stage.”
12. Moon Shot
From shards of Pete Townshend’s guitars to black eyes from Roger Daltrey’s windmilling microphones, the Who have always been one of rock’s most accident-prone bands. But Keith Moon’s piece de resistance was the explosion he rigged during a 1967 television appearance. More powerful than planned, it propelled the drum kit and Daltrey airborne, and may have even triggered Townshend’s hearing troubles.
11. What’s My Line?
Singers forget lyrics all the time, but preferably not in front of the President. During a Kennedy Center tribute to Dolly Parton, Jessica Simpson (left) abruptly stopped in the middle ’9 to 5.’ “Dolly, that made me so nervous,” she blurted before running offstage. Some 45 years earlier, Ella Fitzgerald blanked on ‘Mack the Knife’: “Oh, what’s the next chorus/To this song now?,” she sang. Ella laughed it off, and it won her a Grammy.
10. What a Dump!
Shock rocker Alice Cooper “retired” the huge snake used in his show for decades after an incident in Los Angeles during which the snake pooped, and pooped some more. “I never expected there to be eight piles the size of a Doberman pinscher,” Cooper later told Rolling Stone. “My whole stage costume was covered, and it smelled so bad I was gagging.” Even Johnny Rotten, who was in the audience, was impressed.
9. Thin White Stick
David Bowie has dodged his share of roses and beer cans in concert, but he surely never anticipated what would force him to leave the stage 20 minutes into a 2004 Oslo show. The Thin White Duke was hit with the thin white stick from a lollipop, hurled by a fan, which lodged inside his left eyelid. It was the same eye that he injured in a schoolboy fight with a classmate, a trauma that left the eye permanently dilated.
8. Butterflies Are Free?
The Rolling Stones’ massive 1969 concert in London’s Hyde Park became an impromptu tribute to their fallen mate Brian Jones, who was discovered at the bottom of his swimming pool two days before the gig. Mick Jagger, dressed in white, read from Shelley’s elegiac ‘Adonais’ before releasing thousands of butterflies — most of which were already dead
7. Everybody Nose
The spread for the Band’s 1976 farewell concert was a who’s who of guests (Dylan, Clapton, Neil Diamond), a feast for performers and audience alike, and, by all accounts, a schmorgasbord of illicit substances. During Neil Young’s appearance, the oblivious singer had a gob of cocaine clearly lodged in a nostril. Robbie Robertson and Martin Scorsese later had to edit the residue out of their concert film.
6. Sorry, Wrong Genre
Some rock-rap crossovers are better left unexplored. Sean “Diddy” Combs tried to pull a page from the grunge playbook when he attempted a stage dive at a tony nightclub in Ibiza, Spain, in 2005. Instead of catching the rapper and hip-hop impresario, fans moved away, and Diddy slammed to the floor. Gamely, he hobbled back onstage.
5. Meat and Greet
Invariably identified as the nutcase who bit the head off a bat, Ozzy Osbourne was on the receiving end of a somewhat less fondly remembered stunt on his ‘Diary of a Madman’ tour. A giant catapult designed to look like a hand was set up to fling raw calves’ livers and pig intestines into the audience in a kind of ritual baptism-by-butcher’s-offal. At one gig, the slaughter fell far short of its destination, landing on … Ozzy’s head.
4. A Little Birdie Told Me
Onstage in Mansfield, Massachusetts, in 2004, Cyndi Lauper threw her head back to hit a high note — and took a direct hit from a defecating bird flying overhead. The singer wiped her mouth on her sleeve and soldiered on. Later, she denied reports that the poop had landed in her mouth: “It went on my lower lip. I could not taste it … I actually considered it a good-luck sign.”
3. Basshead
Nirvana’s Kurt Cobain may have had a self-destructive streak a mile wide, but it was bandmate Krist Novoselic who put himself in harm’s way during the 1992 taping of the MTV VMAs. Near the end of the song ‘Lithium,’ Novoselic tossed his bass in the air. The guitar hit him squarely on his head, and the dazed musician stumbled offstage as his mates trashed their own instruments and taunted their nemesis Axl Rose.
Porter Wagoner has died after a long battle with lung cancer. He was 80 years old.
Porter Wagoner was known for a string of country hits in the ’60s, perennial appearances at the Grand Ole Opry in his trademark rhinestone suits, and for launching the career of Dolly Parton.
Like many older performers, his star had faded in recent years. But his death from lung cancer Sunday, at 80, came only after a remarkable late-career revival that won him a new generation of fans.
The Missouri-born Wagoner signed with RCA Records in 1955 and joined the Opry in 1957, “the greatest place in the world to have a career in country music,” he said in 1997. His showmanship, suits and pompadoured hair made him famous.
He had his own syndicated TV show, “The Porter Wagoner Show,” for 21 years, beginning in 1960. It was one of the first syndicated shows to come out of Nashville and set a pattern for many others. “Some shows are mechanical, but ours was not polished and slick,” he said in 1982.
Among his hits, many of which he wrote or co-wrote, were “Carroll County Accident,” “A Satisfied Mind,” “Company’s Comin’,” “Skid Row Joe,” “Misery Loves Company” and “Green Green Grass of Home.” The songs often told stories of tragedy or despair. In “Carroll County Accident,” a married man having an affair is killed in a car crash; “Skid Row Joe” deals with a once-famous singer who’s lost everything.
In 2002, he was elected to the Country Music Hall of Fame.
In May, after years without a recording contract, he signed with ANTI- records, an eclectic Los Angeles label best known for alt-rock acts like Tom Waits, Nick Cave and Neko Case. Wagoner’s final album, “Wagonmaster,” was released in June and earned him some of the best reviews of his career. Over the summer, he was the opening act for the influential rock duo White Stripes at a sold-out show at New York’s Madison Square Garden. “The young people I met backstage, some of them were 20 years old. They wanted to get my autograph and tell me they really liked me,” Porter said with tears in his eyes the day after the New York show. “If only they knew how that made me feel — like a new breath of fresh air.”
To many music fans, Wagoner was best known as the man who boosted Parton’s career. He had hired the 21-year-old singer as his duet partner in 1967, when she was just beginning to gain notice through songs such as “Dumb Blonde.” They were the Country Music Association’s duo of the year in 1970 and 1971, recording hit duets including “The Last Thing on My Mind.”
Parton’s solo country records, such as her autobiographical “Coat of Many Colors,” also began climbing the charts in the early 1970s. She wrote the pop standard “I Will Always Love You” in 1973 after Wagoner suggested she shift from story songs to focus on love songs. The two quit singing duets in 1974 and she went on to wide stardom with pop hits and movies such as “9 to 5,” whose theme song was also a hit for her.
I was a little kid when his show was on but remember watching it with my parents. The late 1960s and early 1980s was a heyday for country music on television, with “Hee Haw” a big hit and stars like Johnny Cash, Glenn Campbell, Porter Wagoner, and others having their own shows and the likes of John Denver having frequent specials.
Here’s ANTI’s description of his last album, WAGONMASTER:
Porter Wagoner, with his trademark rhinestone Nudie suits, high-swept silver pompadour, rail-thin frame and spectacularly weathered face, is an instantly recognizable figure. However, as the striking new release WAGONMASTER makes clear, he is, as always, far from predictable. A resolute tradition bearer and Grand Ole Opry star since 1957, Wagoner’s extraordinary far-reaching song catalog has also consistently pushed country music into new, often chilling directions, and WAGONMASTER boldly upholds his unusual approach. This set–recorded in three days flat–not only verifies the 79-year old Wagoner’s still impressive capacity, it cements him as a commanding, relevant force in American music.
A desperately seeking attention Lindsay was spotted at the Dolce & Gabbana party on the French Riviera sporting a mahoosive ring on her finger.
