If movies were completely scientifically accurate, they’d probably be as interesting as a Physics 101 lecture.
In real life, there are no explosions in space, gas usually doesn’t explode from a lit cigarette.
Some movies, though, put science front and center in the story and more often than not the science proves to be head-slappingly bad. Here are the top 10 offenders:
Armageddon
We could put together a long list of all the things wrong with Michael Bay’s feel-good ode to global destruction, but NASA has already and they counted at least 168 mistakes. But perhaps the biggest problem is that the plot itself — splitting a Texas-sized rock in two with a single nuke — has a Texas-sized hole in it. We don’t have a nuclear bomb anywhere near powerful enough to do the job. As strange as it might seem, this is a case of a Michael Bay movie not having a big enough explosion.
Independence Day
That mammoth mothership hovering over the earth in geostationary orbit would be doing more than just freaking out the world’s population. Because of its close proximity and mass — 1/4th that of the moon, according to the film — the flying saucer’s gravitational pull would cause massive tidal waves, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes. The aliens wouldn’t even have to roll out their anti-matter ray to blow up the White House — it would already be underwater.
Starship Troopers
Could a band of cave-dwelling, preverbal giant insects really have the sophisticated mathematics and technology to hurl a rock millions of miles through space to crash into Earth? Plus, 70% of the planet’s surface is covered in water, so they only had a 3 out of 10 chance at even hitting solid ground, let alone a major city like Buenos Aires.
The Day After Tomorrow
Roland Emmerich brought his trademark academic rigor to the realm of climatology and the result proved to be so silly that NASA refused to help with the filming of the movie. For one thing, it would require most of Antarctica to melt in order to submerge New York City to the level it is in the movie. If all the rays of the sun were directed at the South Pole, its ice would melt in about two and half years. This ridiculousness drove Duke University paleoclimatologist William Hyde to publicly state, “This movie is to climate science as Frankenstein is to heart transplant surgery.”
The Core
In the movie, the Earth’s inner core — a nickel-iron mass about 1500 miles in diameter — stops rotating, causing the planet’s magnetic field to collapse and microwave radiation from space to blast through the atmosphere. But microwaves aren’t affected by magnetism, and the radiation that comes from space is too weak to damage anything here. What’s more, if the core did stop rotating for whatever reason, we’d have more to worry about than that. The energy stored in the core would have to go somewhere, and the effect on the planet would be equivalent to five trillion nuclear bombs going off at once.
The Matrix
Much in the way of physics in the Matrix — like dodging bullets and running up walls — gets a pass because it’s all within a massive virtual world. But in reality, our supposed robot overlords are a bit dim. Humans are a remarkably inefficient energy source. Instead of turning the human race into Duracells, the machines would probably get more energy just setting those goopy people pods on fire.
Jurassic Park
Having a wildlife park full of dinosaurs would be a really cool idea if it weren’t for a few problems. No, not imperfect security or the possibility of spontaneous lizard sex changes. The problem is that it would be almost impossible to clone the dinosaurs based on DNA pulled from the guts of a 25 million-year-old mosquito. The dinosaur DNA’s double helix most certainly would have been broken down into individual chunks, mixing together with whatever else the mosquitoes might have eaten along with some of the insect’s own genetic material. Any creature constructed from that mess might be the stuff of nightmares, but probably wouldn’t look like a T. Rex.
Total Recall
The red planet’s gravitational pull is roughly 1/3rd that of the Earth’s. So if, for example, an Austrian bodybuilder were to visit Mars, he would be bounding across the room like Michael Jordan. Another problem: when exposed to the thin atmosphere of Mars, like bad guy Cohaagen at the end of the movie, you would likely suffer from a raging case of the bends and you would asphyxiate — both of which are plenty lethal — but your head wouldn’t bulge out and explode like an overused stress toy.
Outbreak
A monkey threatens a small town with a virus that kills everybody in less time than your average DMV visit, and only Dustin Hoffman can stop it. The trouble with a disease that virulent is it kills the host too fast to spread. Otherwise, we would be dead from the Ebola virus. Also, it generally takes longer to make a cure from monkey serum than it does to make a latte. Dustin Hoffman does look great in a hazmat suit, though.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Indiana Jones has survived a lot of improbable adventures, be it fleeing ancient spherical boulders or fighting off cult members while dangling off a rope bridge. But few scrapes have tested the bounds of believability more than Indy’s escape from a nuclear bomb blast thanks to a lead-lined fridge. The problem is that, even if he didn’t get flattened, horribly burned or suffocated (kids, don’t hide in refrigerators), Indy almost certainly would have gotten a lethal dose of radiation from the fallout. And that’s a lot scarier than snakes.
People are apparently buzzing about the celebrity quotes of the week, so who am I to argue?
“The Wentz family, our Christmas card just got upgraded!” – Pete Wentz, on new wife Ashlee’s decision to change her last name to his, to PEOPLE
“Pole dancing really isn’t as easy as it looks.” - Carmen Electra, who is releasing her own line of stripper poles, to PEOPLE
“I think he’s 1 percent water and 99 percent talent.” - Mike Myers, describing his The Love Guru costar Justin Timberlake, to PEOPLE
“It’s amazing what a haircut and forgetting to shave will do.” – American Idol David Cook, on being a “cougar” magnet, to Today’s Meredith Vieira
“I don’t really like to respond to things I read about myself in the press but, for the record, I was not thrown off anybody’s yacht in Cannes.” – Singer Lily Allen, dismissing rumors of rowdy behavior via her MySpace page
“Can we get the ranch?” – Ellen DeGeneres, asking newlywed Jenna (Bush) Hager if she could have the same no-fly zone wedding location
“I’m about two months pregnant right now and we’re getting married on August 8th of 2008.” – Reality star Kim Kardashian, fooling with reporters (and her boyfriend, NFL star Reggie Bush), at the Hampton Bays nightclub Whitehouse
“I would start by eating an entire box of Fruity Pebbles out of it. Then I’d take an afternoon sponge bath in it. Then I’d retro fit it with handles and make it into a Stanley Cup handbag.” – Detroit Red Wings’ hockey fan Kristen Bell, on what she’d do with the Stanley Cup championship trophy if she had possession of it for a day, to NHL.com
“A little whipping every now and then, Harrison?” – Regis Philbin, asking Harrison Ford if he ever took home the Indiana Jones whip, on Live with Regis and Kelly
“That’s cheap. Everyone’s kissed George Clooney.” – Madonna, after auctioning off her Chanel purse for more than $471,000 – that’s $171,000 more than a kiss from Clooney fetched – at the amfAR Cinema Against AIDS benefit in Cannes
JJ Abrams brings a monster movie to theaters. A monster of epic porportions attacks New York City in Godzilla style. What the monster is a mystery. Below is a supposed photo of the monster that appears to be some sort of mutated whale that breathes fire. I am guessing it is a hoax, but how awesome would I be for finding this one for. That’s right, bask in the blogger glory.
The Upside- The hype alone may be worth the price of a movie ticket. The Downside- The entire film is shot from the perspective of a video camera. All I can think of is the awful camera work of The Blair Witch Project.
Rambo-January 25th
Stallone shoots up the screen again in yet another Rambo. The plot is set in Thailand where a group of mercenaries and John Rambo try to infiltrate a Burmese village. The war filled trailer promises a fill of theatrical gore.
The Upside- It’s freaking Rambo people. The Downside- If there is such a thing as too much violence, this would be it. Then again…some might see that as an upside.
21- March 21st
Kevin Spacey brings us a hot way to appreciate math. It is based on a true story that involves some MIT college kids counting cards in Vegas. This is the math club I missed out on. The six students took several Vegas casinos for millions of dollars. If you are into books it came from the novel “Bringing Down the House.”
The Upside- Kevin Spacey, a plot that should fuel a great movie and a moral lesson. The Downside- It could really be overdone and corny depending on the talent.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian- May 16th
The Pevensie children return to Narnia to help out ol’ Aslan. What has only been one year to the kids has been 1300 years in Narnia. Peter, Edmund, Susan and Lucy help out a prettied up Prince Caspian regain the throne. It follows the film The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. The 2004 wasn’t bad, but leaving things open to interpretation can hinder your views.
The Upside- The trailer was able to capture my attention and the books are a staple in many households. It looks to be a darker and intense view that echoes the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. The Downside- That interpretation factor could ruin a movie. When you create film from something that holds a legendary quality it is easy to screw up.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull- May 22nd
Harrison Ford teams up with up and coming Shia LaBeouf in the latest installment of the Indiana Jones films. The film is set in the Cold War of 1957 and Shia is rocking a pompadour. No trailers out there yet.
The Upside- Harrison Ford returns to the character of Jones after an 18 year hiatus. The Jones film hype speaks for itself. The Downside- That is a lot of hype to live up to. Sequels are hard to impress an audience with. Especially when 18 years of anticipation is behind it.
Sex and the City- May 30th
Sarah Jessica Parker brings sexy back in the film version on the HBO series. The series strayed into new realms that women have no fear to talk about in real life. Beyond love, relationships and men the four women became heroes to the modern day bored housewife. They freely talked about sex and cranked out some quotes that will not leave you.
“I will wear whatever and blow whomever I want as long as I can breathe and kneel.”
The Upside- The series was fearless, if the movie is the same way we are in for a treat. The Downside- Oh let me count the possible factors that could doom the film. So much has been leaked online it will be beyond predictable. The second factor….I fear it will be one of those things that ended on a high note, but they tried to squeeze one last dime from a concept that is stale.
The Happening- June 13th
Yes that is a Friday the 13th release date. M. Night Shyamalan strikes again with another thriller. While the past few Night films have failed to impress the masses, this one is rumored to be a redemption. Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, John Leguizamo and Spencer Breslin star in the film that is already rated “R.”
The Upside- I would love to see M. Night get back into the swing of twisted thrillers that rival The Sixth Sense. The Downside- It could be a further disappointment that could be the final blow.
Batman: The Dark Knight- July 18th
The Dark Knight is probably the most anticipated films. Heath Ledger and Christian Bale star in the latest installment of the Batman films. The sequel features the ultimate villain, the Joker. When I heard Ledger was cast in the role I was disappointed. I kept picture this pretty boy in the Joker’s shoes giggling as he tried to thwart Bale. The trailer has redeemed my faith in the film. This version of the Joker is darker, better, more intense and believable as a psycho. Kudos to Heath for proving me wrong.
The Upside- Maggie Gyllenhaal replaced Katie Holmes’ dumbass damsel in distress. The Downside- Let me get back to you on that.
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince- November 21st
Harry Potter is one of those films that directors can easily screw up. (Ahem…Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban.) The last film of the series wasn’t bad and the director who was at the helm for returns again for the Half Blood Prince. My fingers are crossed for those Harry Potter fans who are so very dedicated to the books. Either way you can bet that this film will not fly under the radar.
The Upside- Harry Potter has become the new aged superhero that has started a following that is appealing to all ages. The books are beyond detailed, here’s hoping for some cinema magic. The Downside- If you haven’t read the books by the end of the this film you will be lost. So much has already been left out of the films that, personally, I feel are vital to understand the plot.
The Lovely Bones- Currently Rumored Release in Summer 2008
Peter Jackson won my heart by not completely killing the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Here we have another novel based film that has a big budget. Ryan Gosling had the leading male role before age became a factor and Mark Wahlberg reportedly took his place. The story is from the perspective of a 14 year old girl who was raped and murdered by a neighbor. She tells the tale from heaven and shows the lives of those affected by her death.
The Upside- Great cast, great director and the material is of substance. The Downside- How freakin’ sad!
Sources: Yahoo Top 10 Movies [Yahoo] and 55 Movies Not to Miss of 2008 [Slash Films]
Here’s the first photo of Harrison Ford in the Indiana Jones costume in eighteen years:
For the first time since 1989, Harrison Ford dons the familiar costume on Thursday, June 21, 2007, as the upcoming Indiana Jones adventure begins production under the direction of Steven Spielberg. The new Indiana Jones movie is set in the 1950s and stars Shia LaBeouf, Cate Blanchett, John Hurt, Ray Winstone and Jim Broadbent. The Lucasfilm Ltd. production will be released by Paramount Pictures worldwide on May 22, 2008.
Like the rest of us, Ford’s getting older. He’s doing a better job of it than most, though.
Forbes Magazine has compiled a list of the 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces.
Forbes’ list of the 10 Most Expensive Celebrity Divorces examined only divorces during the last 25 years. Reporters scoured press reports, interview transcripts and, whenever possible, court documents to verify settlements. Figures are not adjusted for inflation. Some celebrity divorces with allegedly high settlements were excluded when information was unavailable or unreliable.
#10. Mick Jagger & Jerry Hall
Estimated settlement: $15 to $25 million
The Rolling Stones rocker and Texas supermodel met in 1977 and had two children together before marrying in a traditional Hindi wedding ceremony in Bali, Indonesia, in 1990. Hall filed for divorce in 1999 after learning that Jagger had fathered another woman’s child. Jagger, worth an estimated $325 million at the time, successfully challenged the legality of the Balinese wedding and received an annulment. Hall walked away with between $15 and $25 million, a fraction of Jagger’s estate.
#9. Lionel & Diane Richie
Estimated settlement: $20 million
Richie, then 36 and married, met the 18-year-old backup dancer at the 1984 Olympics in Los Angeles. Richie, divorced from his first wife in 1993, married Diane by 1996. The Richies became tabloid favorites when Diane filed for divorce in 2004 and detailed their lavish lifestyle in her alimony petition. Among her claims: a monthly clothing allowance of $15,000; $50,000 a month for manicures, massages and other personal services; and a plastic surgery budget of $20,000 a year.
#8. Michael & Diandra Douglas
Estimated settlement: $45 million
Douglas met 19-year-old Georgetown co-ed Diandra Luker in 1977 at a Jimmy Carter inauguration party. They married six weeks later. During the course of the marriage, Douglas became one of Hollywood’s top earning actors, starring in classics like Fatal Attraction, Wall Street and Basic Instinct. Amid rumors of the actor’s infidelities and alcohol abuse, the couple split in 1998. Diandra was awarded an estimated $45 million, plus homes in Beverly Hills and Majorca.
#7. James Cameron & Linda Hamilton
Estimated settlement: $50 million
The Titanic director married the Terminator actress in July 1997. They had one daughter together before the marriage tanked 18 months later. Cameron received some $100 million from Paramount for Titanic (which grossed $1.8 billion). Hamilton received half of that, an estimated $50 million, in the divorce settlement.
#6. Paul McCartney & Heather Mills
Settlement pending: Possibly more than $60 million
In 2002, the former Beatle wed Mills, a model-activist 30 years his junior. McCartney reportedly shunned Mills’ offer of a prenuptial agreement. By 2006, the pair, who have one child together, split acrimoniously. She accused him of assault; he locked her out of their London home. Rumors of a settlement suggest Mills may get in excess of $60 million–McCartney’s worth is an estimated $700 million.
#5. Kevin Costner & Cindy Silva
Estimated settlement: $80 million
The pair, who met at California State University, wed in 1978. During their 16-year marriage, Costner became one of Hollywood’s highest-paid actors, scoring seven Oscars for Dances with Wolves and starring in iconic films like Bull Durham and Field of Dreams. Costner pocketed $50 million in 1991 alone. Because Silva was married to Costner during his peak earning years, she was awarded $80 million, a substantial piece of his net worth.
#4. Harrison Ford & Melissa Mathison
Estimated settlement: $85 million
The couple met in 1977 at a dinner with casting director Fred Roos (American Graffiti) and wed in 1983. Six years later, Ford became one of Hollywood’s highest-paid actors when he banked $7 million for Presumed Innocent. By 1995, he was making $20 million a film. The couple divorced in 2004. In addition to her divorce settlement, Mathison negotiated a piece of Ford’s future earnings from films he made while married, including DVD sales of the Indiana Jones trilogy and The Fugitive.
#3. Steven Spielberg & Amy Irving
Estimated settlement: $100 million
The couple met when Irving auditioned for Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977). They married in 1985, after Spielberg had already struck it big with his first Indiana Jones flick and ET. They divorced after nearly four years of marriage. Irving successfully contested their prenuptial agreement (reportedly scribbled on a napkin) because she did not have legal representation and was awarded $100 million, roughly half of Spielberg’s fortune at the time. Today, he is worth $3 billion.
#2. Neil Diamond & Marcia Murphey
Estimated settlement: $150 million
The crooner married Murphey, a television production assistant, in 1969, before he released his first gold record, Touching You, Touching Me. By the late ’70s, Diamond was one of the most successful musicians in showbiz, grossing upward of $14 million annually. After 25 years of marriage, Murphey filed for divorce in 1994, citing irreconcilable differences. She walked away with half of Diamond’s fortune–she’s “worth every penny,” he later said.
#1. Michael & Juanita Jordan
Settlement pending: Possibly more than $150 million
The legendary basketball star married Juanita Vanoy, a Chicago bank officer, in 1989. He had already signed an eight-year, $25 million contract with the Chicago Bulls. He also was earning another $30 million a year from Nike and other endorsement deals. She filed for divorce last year. Over the course of the marriage, Jordan earned more than $350 million. Should Juanita press for half of his assets, she could get more than $150 million in the settlement, making the Jordan divorce the most expensive in entertainment history.
Wowsers. At least they were married a long time. Getting $15 million for a few months of marriage is just ridiculous. And, frankly, if she didn’t even change her name, she probably wasn’t in it for the long haul anyway.
P.S.: If you’re worth several hundred million dollars more than your beloved, you simply must insist on a prenup. No, it’s not romantic. Too bad.
Harrison Ford turned down a $20 million pay check to make a new spin-off ‘Star Wars’ movie.
Hollywood legend Ford, 64, snubbed director George Lucas’ big bucks offer in favor of playing heroic archaeologist Indiana Jones again.
However, Lucas wasn’t too disappointed with Ford’s decision as he was already developing an idea for a fourth Indiana Jones movie with Steven Spielberg.
A source told Britain’s Daily Star newspaper: “George wanted Harrison to play Indy but cleverly sounded him out about playing Hans Solo instead.
“Harrison was horrified. After that he was delighted to be playing Indy again. He told George he just couldn’t face being stuck in a spaceship with Chewbacca again.”
Jessica Stam (born April 23, 1986), also known simply as Stam, is a Canadian supermodel.
Stam was born in Kincardine, Ontario, and grew up on a farm alongside her six brothers. As a child, her family was very religious, practicing the Christian faith. She originally wanted to be a dentist.
Stam was discovered in a local Tim Horton’s coffee shop by Michèle Miller, an agent at the International Model Management agency in Barrie, Ontario, who found Stam on the way back from Paramount Canada’s Wonderland, a theme park just outside Toronto.
As soon as photographer Steven Meisel discovered the then 16-year-old Stam, he cast her in every ad campaign of his, and suddenly she was a star. “I guess I’m his muse,” she has said of her mentor. Stam won the Los Angeles Model Look Search in 2002.
Her career was set off when she appeared on the cover of German Vogue and she has appeared in advertisements for Marc Jacobs, Anna Sui, Vera Wang, Valentino, Miu Miu, Gucci, Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, and Holt Renfrew. In 2004, Stam appeared in the short film Agent Orange.
After she dyed her hair blond on a whim during the summer of 2005, she was cast for 54 shows. Good friend and fashion designer Marc Jacobs recently created a bag inspired by and named after her (The Marc Jacobs Stam). Stam is currently the face of Armani, Sonia Rykiel, BCBG, and Rochas for 2006. She also appeared in the 2006 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, in which she had her own featurette and opened a Theme entitled “Pink”.
For Spring 2006 Ready-to-Wear, Stam walked a total of 60 shows combined during the New York, Milan, and Paris Fashion Weeks. She currently stands at number six on the rating at models.com.
Stam previously dated Anthony Kiedis of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. In January of 2006 she was photographed topless while frolicking with Kiedis on the Caribbean island of St. Barts. On January 12, 2006 she was photographed with him during a Los Angeles Lakers/Cleveland Cavaliers basketball game at the Staples Center in Los Angeles. Before Kiedis, Stam dated Harrison Ford’s son, Malcolm.
“The Wentz family, our Christmas card just got upgraded!” – Pete Wentz, on new wife Ashlee’s decision to change her last name to his, to PEOPLE
