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If movies were completely scientifically accurate, they’d probably be as interesting as a Physics 101 lecture.
In real life, there are no explosions in space, gas usually doesn’t explode from a lit cigarette.
Some movies, though, put science front and center in the story and more often than not the science proves to be head-slappingly bad. Here are the top 10 offenders:
Armageddon
We could put together a long list of all the things wrong with Michael Bay’s feel-good ode to global destruction, but NASA has already and they counted at least 168 mistakes. But perhaps the biggest problem is that the plot itself — splitting a Texas-sized rock in two with a single nuke — has a Texas-sized hole in it. We don’t have a nuclear bomb anywhere near powerful enough to do the job. As strange as it might seem, this is a case of a Michael Bay movie not having a big enough explosion.
Independence Day
That mammoth mothership hovering over the earth in geostationary orbit would be doing more than just freaking out the world’s population. Because of its close proximity and mass — 1/4th that of the moon, according to the film — the flying saucer’s gravitational pull would cause massive tidal waves, volcanic eruptions and earthquakes. The aliens wouldn’t even have to roll out their anti-matter ray to blow up the White House — it would already be underwater.
Starship Troopers
Could a band of cave-dwelling, preverbal giant insects really have the sophisticated mathematics and technology to hurl a rock millions of miles through space to crash into Earth? Plus, 70% of the planet’s surface is covered in water, so they only had a 3 out of 10 chance at even hitting solid ground, let alone a major city like Buenos Aires.
The Day After Tomorrow
Roland Emmerich brought his trademark academic rigor to the realm of climatology and the result proved to be so silly that NASA refused to help with the filming of the movie. For one thing, it would require most of Antarctica to melt in order to submerge New York City to the level it is in the movie. If all the rays of the sun were directed at the South Pole, its ice would melt in about two and half years. This ridiculousness drove Duke University paleoclimatologist William Hyde to publicly state, “This movie is to climate science as Frankenstein is to heart transplant surgery.”
The Core
In the movie, the Earth’s inner core — a nickel-iron mass about 1500 miles in diameter — stops rotating, causing the planet’s magnetic field to collapse and microwave radiation from space to blast through the atmosphere. But microwaves aren’t affected by magnetism, and the radiation that comes from space is too weak to damage anything here. What’s more, if the core did stop rotating for whatever reason, we’d have more to worry about than that. The energy stored in the core would have to go somewhere, and the effect on the planet would be equivalent to five trillion nuclear bombs going off at once.
The Matrix
Much in the way of physics in the Matrix — like dodging bullets and running up walls — gets a pass because it’s all within a massive virtual world. But in reality, our supposed robot overlords are a bit dim. Humans are a remarkably inefficient energy source. Instead of turning the human race into Duracells, the machines would probably get more energy just setting those goopy people pods on fire.
Jurassic Park
Having a wildlife park full of dinosaurs would be a really cool idea if it weren’t for a few problems. No, not imperfect security or the possibility of spontaneous lizard sex changes. The problem is that it would be almost impossible to clone the dinosaurs based on DNA pulled from the guts of a 25 million-year-old mosquito. The dinosaur DNA’s double helix most certainly would have been broken down into individual chunks, mixing together with whatever else the mosquitoes might have eaten along with some of the insect’s own genetic material. Any creature constructed from that mess might be the stuff of nightmares, but probably wouldn’t look like a T. Rex.
Total Recall
The red planet’s gravitational pull is roughly 1/3rd that of the Earth’s. So if, for example, an Austrian bodybuilder were to visit Mars, he would be bounding across the room like Michael Jordan. Another problem: when exposed to the thin atmosphere of Mars, like bad guy Cohaagen at the end of the movie, you would likely suffer from a raging case of the bends and you would asphyxiate — both of which are plenty lethal — but your head wouldn’t bulge out and explode like an overused stress toy.
Outbreak
A monkey threatens a small town with a virus that kills everybody in less time than your average DMV visit, and only Dustin Hoffman can stop it. The trouble with a disease that virulent is it kills the host too fast to spread. Otherwise, we would be dead from the Ebola virus. Also, it generally takes longer to make a cure from monkey serum than it does to make a latte. Dustin Hoffman does look great in a hazmat suit, though.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Indiana Jones has survived a lot of improbable adventures, be it fleeing ancient spherical boulders or fighting off cult members while dangling off a rope bridge. But few scrapes have tested the bounds of believability more than Indy’s escape from a nuclear bomb blast thanks to a lead-lined fridge. The problem is that, even if he didn’t get flattened, horribly burned or suffocated (kids, don’t hide in refrigerators), Indy almost certainly would have gotten a lethal dose of radiation from the fallout. And that’s a lot scarier than snakes.
source: [yahoo movies]
It’s happened to all of us. You see a chick with long luscious legs. Right above those is a tight, firm rear. Next is their slim waist and chiseled abs. And then comes the breasts. Either large and augmented or natural and perky, it doesn’t matter, they all have them and they are spectacular.
But then she turns around or you get a good look at her face and it makes your stomach turn. Collagen swollen lips, cheeks tucked into foreheads and man-like features are enough to disappoint any man. It’s the butterface.
10. Hilary Swank
She was in Boys Don’t Cry where she won an Oscar for playing a man in a movie. That pretty much assures that you won’t be on Victoria’s Secret short list for their next Angel. But when you sculpt your body into a machine with chiseled abs, tight ass, and toned everything, men will take notice. Too bad getting your next Oscar makes you perfect as a look-alike for a butch chick boxer.
9. April Scott
Nothing can compare to April’s long legs, a spectacular ass and great tits in a g-string and push-up bra. Too bad the compliments end there. She’s yet another “model” who’s posed in too many face flattering over-the-shoulder shots. Her claims to fame are b-listed to no end. Only thumb-nailed shots trick you into thinking she’s actually hot.
8. Haylie Duff
The gene pool in this family got a little shallow after younger sister Hilary graced us with her presence. Poor, poor Haylie got the short end of the stick when it came to the neck-up department, and is doomed to forever be Hillary’s older, uglier sister. But with her smoking body she’s assured a pity lay by some B-actor and continued “fame.”
7. Christina Ricci
When your first major role is on the Addams Family as Wednesday, you know you’re going to make this list. Peel the Goth gear away though and she’ll make any man howl. She showed what she had in Prozac Nation and her all-natural body isn’t as scary as her face. There’s no wonder why Samuel Jackson would slap a leash on her and keep her as a pet. Now that’s what I call reparations.
6. Lisa Rinna
This Former Days of Our Lives cast member and more recently “contestant” on Dancing with the Stars certainly has a body that won’t quit. And for being 43 and popping out two kids, her body is one of the best in the business. Too bad she couldn’t resist buying some DSLs that make her face look utterly busted and ridiculous.
5. Rebecca Loos
Rebecca is more proof guys think with their other, smaller head. As personal assistant to billionaire David Beckham, it’s clear what two credentials got her hired. That, and the fact that she’s openly bisexual. Taking that into consideration it’s easy to forgive Beckham for not looking directly at her face when he hired her.
4. Tori Spelling
With a face like hers only two things could get her a big break on a show filled with beautiful people: her smoking body and her last name. But there she is, cast as the ugly best friend the other hot chicks in Beverly Hills confide in. Only a paper bag makes her bangable - that and the piles of money daddy gave her.
3. Vida Guerra
With a body (and ass) like hers it’s easy to forget what Vida actually looks like. But inevitably, one’s eyes wander above the torso and neck area and after that it’s game over. Once again, cunning photographers put her best asset forward while keeping her looking over her shoulder in that all too familiar busted-face pose. She better watch out, the guy with the ugly stick is still right behind her.
2. Carmit
The only Pussycat Doll that could make you say me-ewww once you got a good look at her. It’s a good thing they keep her at or near the back of the pack. Even her magazine “glamour” shots conveniently place her in the busted-face over-the-shoulder-ass-protruding pose. She is living proof that sometimes talent and a smoking body alone can make you a sex symbol.
1. Fergie
Fergie started as the hot chick in the Black Eyed Peas and was the only reason to sit through one of their music videos. Her dancer inspired body is one of the hardest and hottest in the music and entertainment industry. Now her solo career has thrust her into the limelight and it’s way too bright. Besides her gnarly man-hands, the good doctor got a tad ambitious with all the nips, tucks and peels, making her look downright scary.
source: Top 10 Celebrity Butterfaces [double viking]
What to Give This Xmas - Britney Spears ‘Crotch Shot’ Doll‘ - City Rag
Sexy New Year’s Party Chicks: Part I - Ninja Dude
John Mayer Dances for the Paparazzi - Dlisted
This Weeks Gossip Rag Covers - Celebrity Smack
Sam Heuston Christmas Joy - Fatback and Collards
American Idol 7 Schedule - Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Ashley Tisdale is Obnoxious - [nsfw] Drunken Stepfather
Quentin Tarantino wants Linday Lohan - Popoholic
Lily Allen is Pregnant and Smoking - Pink is the New Blog
When Did Sharon Stone Get So Ugly? - A Socialites Life
Jordan ‘Katie Price’ Lands in the Hospital - Hollywood Rag
Paris Hilton Thinks ‘Smurfs’ are Real - Celeb News Wire
Jessica Simpson Face Mask to Wear at Cowboys Next Game - Bumpshack
Hilary Swank Likes Pussy - Popbytes
Gisele Bundchen Does Spanish Harper’s Bazaar - The Bastardly
Kevin Federline Needs a Date for New Years - Pop On The Pop
Katherine Heigl’s Wedding Prep - Splash News Online
Mr. Bean Involved in a ‘Hit and Run’ - X17 Online
Anita Dark is a Breaking Beauty - Breaking News USA
Jessica Alba Won’t be Wearing a Wedding Gown Pregnant - INO
Michael Jackson’s Lips Exploded - Defamer
‘Thriller‘ Celebrates New Release - First Listen - Allie is Wired
Owen Wilson and Woody Harrelson Smoking a Little Weed - City Rag
Hayden Panettiere Likes Old Dudes - Ninja Dude
David Hasselhoff Relapses, Twice in Three Days - Celebrity Smack
Mischa Barton Going Back to Modeling - Drunken Stepfather
Tyra Banks Denies Saying, “Britney Kill Yourself” - Hollywood Rag
Beyonce Threatens Us with a Nipple - Egotastic
As Predicted, Jessica Simpson Went Straight to DVD - IDLYITW
Fans Still Confused - Hannah Montana Isn’t Real - In Case You Didn’t Know
Hilary Swank is a Chicken Shit - A Socialites Life
Mischa Barton Impersonates Lindsay Lohan - Dlisted
Did Britney Spears Elope? - Popbytes
Mischa Barton Inside Maxim - Pop On The Pop
Ana Carolina da Fonseca and the Case of the Missing Boob - The Bastardly
You Can See Right Through Marisa Tomei’s Shorts - Celeb News Wire
Kristen Bell Rubs Her Nipples - Egotastic
Cameron Diaz Climbing a Ladder in a Short Skirt - Popoholic
Ashlee Simpson Has a New Song - Hollywood Tuna
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are the Couple of the Year - Just Jared
Pamela Anderson and Rick Solomon Get Own Reality Show - Celebslam
The Best of 2007 - Buzznet
Jessica Simpson is the Breaking Beauty - Breaking News USA
Janet Jackson NEW Single, ‘Feedback’ - FIRST LISTEN! - Allie is Wired
Hilary Swank is in the April Esquire. For a woman who has won Oscars for playing a transsexual and a boxer, she looks pretty hot.
Here are some excerpts from “Thank You Lord, Hilary Swank Is Single Again,” written by Mike Sager:
Like a streetwalker with a broken toe, Hilary Swank hobbles across the concrete floor in a pair of five-inch gold-leather pumps. The studio is darkish and the music is blaring; there is a smell of fresh paint and hair spray and food service in the air, along with the rich aroma of roasted coffee, the handiwork of the authentic Italian barista who is stationed in the vaulted lobby.
[...]
Now Hilary Swank is thirty-two. The lonely little tomboy who used to like to pass her time floating in a lake has won two Oscars for Best Actress. In Boys Don’t Cry, she played Brandon Teena, a transgendered woman who attempts to live and love as a man and is killed for it. In Million Dollar Baby, she played Maggie Fitzgerald, a heavy-shouldered woman with a thumping right cross who dreams of becoming a professional boxer. Seeing her now at this photo shoot, wearing a little black sweater dress that clings to her every curve — a dress that even she thinks looks killer on her; she will purchase it directly from the wardrobe woman before she leaves — you think instead of Madeleine Linscott, the high-society vixen she played in The Black Dahlia, whose introductory scene, in a lesbian supper club in the late forties, in a black dress with a similar sort of breathless plunging neckline, is that movie’s unrivaled highlight (though you might say the scene is stolen by the risque, Vegas-esque production number featuring a tuxedoed K.D. Lang singing “Love for Sale”).
Freshly divorced from the actor Chad Lowe, the boyish and lesser-known brother of Rob — whom she met at eighteen at an MTV-sponsored basketball game, whom she sort of resembled in her role as Brandon Teena, whom she famously forgot to thank when she won her first Oscar, and who recently admitted to his struggles with substance abuse, which contributed to, as one celebrity mag would put it, the “long, slow death of the thirteen-year relationship that defined her adulthood” — Swank seems to have entered the full flower of her womanhood. She is firm where a female is supposed to be firm, ripe where a female is supposed to be ripe. Though she is not tall — later, in slippers, she will stand about five foot four — there is a monumental quality to her, a sculptedness, a tensile strength. She looks as if she’d just as soon fight you as fuck you, and as if she’d be the one to decide which it was going to be.
Here are the photos from the shoot:
   
Oscar winner Charlize Theron makes a rare appearance at the premiere of “The Reaping” in Los Angeles. Is she good friends with Hilary Swank, or did she just want to see the movie? At any rate, she’s as gorgeous as ever!
source
Fergie: Not engaged or pregnant - A Socialites Life
Is Denise Richards on a cocaine diet - Celebrity Smack
Mickey Rourke - would you hit it - dlisted
Celebrity Picks for Super Bowl Sunday - Bumpshack
NYC Subways go Gay and Lesbian - Popbytes
Britney Spears tries to bring sexy back - Hollyscoop
Alyssa Milano - Justin’s other new gal - Hollywood Tuna
Phil’s version of an Elizabeth Hurley Nipple Slip - Egotastic
Are Hilary Swank and her agent really dating - Just Jared
Supernova failed to reach critical mass - Fatback and Collards
Elizabeth Hurley’s engagement ring & grey hair - Monica Monroe Gossip
Paris Hilton Exposed - She’s a horrible actress - Jossip
You want to put “WHAT” in my hair? - Splash News Online
Kitson rolls out new t-shirt concepts - Defamer
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Cao’s Blog
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Right Truth
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Rhymes With Right linked with An Open Letter To Governor Rick Perry...
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Blue Star Chronicles linked with American Fire Power...
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Big Dogs Weblog linked with Democratic Candidates Pick Theme Songs...
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Planck's Constant linked with WTF means ...Where's the Fire? Oh No....
The evolution of Heather Locklear in Shape Magazine - Popbytes
Bebe kicks Mischa Barton to the curb - Bumpshack
Rachel McAdams goes off the deep end - destroys hair - Dlisted
Madonna says baby David has an attitude - A Socialites Life
Has Mischa Barton finally kicked the puppy to the curb? - Popsugar
Spicy has some creepy pictures of graveyard at night - Celebrity Smack
Jennifer Lopez’s new reality show on MTV - DanceLife - Just Jared
Christina Aguilera should go with pink lips more often - D*ana’s Dirt
Hilary Swak - still a trailer park girl - Gawker
Marvelous pictures of Carolina “Pampita” Ardohain - Hollywood Tuna
Britney Spears - is still not at home - IDon’tLikeYouInThatWay
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Woman Honor Thyself
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Rightwing Guy
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Big Dogs Weblog linked with When They Said Heads Would Roll…
Two time Oscar winner, Hilary Swank, received the 2325th star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles today.
Man, they must be getting easier to obtain now. [oops... I didn't say that]
picture source: ONTD
I’m guessing she had no idea that bangs would make her nose and mouth stand out this much. [heh]
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