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The 10 Funniest Women Of All Time

When most people think of comedians they usually just think of the men and most movies or comedy tours are full of male comedians, to celebrate some of the female comedians Yahoo have come up with a list of the top female comedians. Take a look at the top 10:

10. Lucille Ball
“How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes, we’d profit from them.”

Probably the single most influential woman figure in comedy, Ball’s long-running sitcom I Love Lucy not only forged the path for women on TV, but continues to run in syndication, holding its own against contempory television comedies that she and it undoubtedly influenced.

09. Jenny McCarthy
“My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.”

The original naughty hottie, McCarthy started on the MTV dating show, Singled Out. Her crassness, crudeness, and tomboyish tongue often stole the spotlight and not only opened doors for her career, but also for foul-mouthed female followers like Chelsea Handler.

08. Tracey Ullman
“If God had intended for breasts to be seen, He wouldn’t have created large woolen pullovers.”

Regarded as the queen of sketch comedy, Ullman’s side-splitting sendups of famous men and women alike made The Tracey Ullman Show a hit in the 90′s and beyond. It also introduced the world to an animated family of five named The Simpsons.

07. Joan Rivers
“I don’t excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”

The queen of the red carpet and savage wit. If women in comedy was a political office, Rivers would be the two-term president who won by a landslide. Respected by peers and audiences alike, Rivers’ witty tongue-lashings take aim at everything and everyone, including herself.

06. Roseanne Barr
“Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we’ll take up, and the more we’ll have to be reckoned with.”

Barr’s success came at a time when audiences wanted it: an overweight, homely, mom-type who hid a hilarious sense of humor under her juice-stained sweats. Barr was lauded and loved for her true-to-life portrayal of supermoms everywhere, but also castigated for setting Tom Arnold loose on the world.

05. Ellen Degeneres
“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”

Years ago, Degeneres turned her sitcom Ellen’s demise and media-fed questions about her sexuality into her current success as TV’s first openly-gay comedy/variety talk-show host. Her throne atop daytime television remains unchallenged, and her Queen of Nice title does nothing to tarnish her hilarity.

04. Carol Burnett
“We didn’t exactly starve, but we were pretty poor when I was growing up. I remember thinking, Oh gosh, if I could just make thirty dollars a month to help with the rent, that would be fabulous. So perhaps I envied performers when I heard that Bing Crosby made twenty dollars a minute.”

Along with Lucille Ball, Phyllis Diller, and Lily Tomlin, Carol Burnett is widely considered one of the fore-mothers of female comedy. The Carol Burnett Show, a long-running sketch comedy hour, sealed her fate as an American icon for women in comedy.

03. Amy Poehler
“I’ve said this before, that, when you’re in school and you’re the class clown, men are really good at making fun at other people and women are really good at making fun of themselves.”

Any fan of Late Night with Conan O’Brien will tell you some of the funniest moments on the show were when sidekick Andy Richter’s angry, hyperactive “kid sister” interrupted the show with her emotional outbursts. Poehler later went on to steal scenes on Saturday Night Live, host Weekend Update, and star in her own sitcom, NBC’s Parks and Rec.

02. Phyllis Diller
“You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.”

To say that Phyllis Diller paved the way for zany, female comics would be like saying Michael Jordan was a pretty good basketball player. Diller’s original zaniness, wit, and personality were unlike any seen before, and her scratchy-voiced delivery of some of the most deadpan statements places her among the top originals of funny women.

01. Amy Sedaris
“I always got along with all types of people – popular people as well as drug addicts.”

“Weird,” “strange,” and “offbeat” are words used to describe Sedaris and her sense of humor, but only in conjuction with “funny.” Sedaris’ books, stints on TV, and talk show appearances have only confirmed these descriptions, but it is this uniqueness along with her sense of humor that makes her so original and funny.

I would not put Jenny McCarthy on this list instead I would add Kathy Griffin and Lisa Kudrow to the list, who is your top female comedians at the moment?

 

Turn Around Bright Eyes & Links To Hollywood

Turn Around Bright Eyes & Links To Hollywood

Turn Around Bright EyesCity Rag

Ashlee Simpson & Pete Wentz Married Too Young – Pop Eater

Rihanna Is Pretty Smart – IDLYITW

Happy 19th Birthday Taylor LautnerDaily Fill

Kate Moss For Longchamp – Girls Talkin’ Smack

Scarlett Johansson & Sean Penn Not Dating – Amy Grindhouse

Jack Black To Host Kids Choice Awards – ICYDK

Sarah Palin Defends Christina AguileraThe Superficial

Jennifer Aniston’s Dried Up Uterus Turns 42 Of The Day – Drunken Stepfather

Everyone Hates Heidi Montag LOL – Popbytes

OMG, He’s Naked: Tom HughesOMG Blog

Aaron Carter Is Out Of Rehab – Why Fame

Taylor Momsen Goes Goth — Is This News? – Hollywood Life

Jenny McCarthy Sparkles At Avalon – Celebrity Smack

Lindsay Lohan’s Tighty Whitey Is Sold Out – Celebs.com

Snooki In Her Pajamas – Anything Hollywood

Little Red Riding Hood Is A Fashionista! – Betty Confidential

The Most Memorable Grammy Performances – College Candy

John Travolta Hits On Waiter In Front Of His Wife – Allie Is Wired

 

Keira The Midget & Links To Hollywood


Keira Knightley Is A Little PersonCity Rag

Keith Olbermann Joining Current TV – Pop Eater

This Is What Slash’s Wife Kicked – The Superficial

Lauren Conrad Bounces Back After Show Cancellation – Daily Fill

Everything Is Bigger In Texas – IDLYITW

Leighton Meester Tweets Bikini Pic – Amy Grindhouse

Jenny McCarthy Is Single Again – ICYDK

OMG, Matthew Mitcham Is Defined! – OMG Blog

Glee Vs. The Lohans: Round 2! – Popbytes

Jessica Szohr Gets Packed – Celebs.com

Zsa Zsa Gabor Celebrates 94th Birthday, Is A Trooper – Celebrity Smack

Which Celeb Is Your Valentine’s Dream Date? – Anything Hollywood

Camille & Kelsey: D-Day Is Coming! – Betty Confidential

Zac Efron Has A New Woman? – Why Fame

More ‘Teen Mom‘ Drama – Wonderwall

Bristol Palin Has A Confession To Make! – Hollywood Life

Nicole Eggert Is Pregnant! – Holly Baby

The Federlines Are Bowling Boys – Celebrity Baby Scoop

Kathy Lee Gifford Has Old Lady Boobs – Drunken Stepfather

Afternoon Pick-Me-Up: Brittany HerreraF-Listed

Is Miley Cyrus Shaping Up To Be A Bad Egg? – Evil Beet Gossip

What’s The Big Deal About Rihanna’s New Song? – College Candy

Simon Cowell Says The U.S. Has The Most Talent – Holy Moly

Joe Jonas & Ashley Greene Getting Married? – Allie Is Wired

 

Bright Eyes & Links To Hollywood


Turn Around Bright EyesCity Rag

Peter Fonda Finds Dead Body – Pop Eater

Audrina Patridge Does FHM – IDLYITW

Ted Williams Succumbs To Insta-Fame – Daily Fill

Kate Gosselin Is Pure Seduction – The Superficial

Has Kim Kardashian Even Been Inside A Sears? – ICYDK

Man Brands Olivia Munn’s Crotch Disgusting – Celebs.com

Lily Allen’s Engagement Ring – Amy Grindhouse

Britney Spears Performing On The Grammys? – Celebrity Smack

Jenny McCarthy Has A New Dude – Why Fame

Carrie Fisher Teams Up With Jenny Craig – Wonderwall

Seth Rogen & 10 Dorks Who Got Hot – Betty Confidential

Ashton Kutcher talks Funny Sex – F-Listed

Nicki Minaj Looks Crazy In ‘V’ Magazine – Popbytes

Edward Furlong Arrested & Jailed – Holy Moly

Victoria’s Secret Does ‘GQ’ Of The Day – Drunken Stepfather

Even Snooki Hates Herseld – Anything Hollywood

Why Demi Moore Isn’t Jealous – Hollywood Life

Owen Wilson’s Girlfriend To Give Birth At Home – Holly Baby

Nicole Richie Is A Trendy Babe – College Candy

OMG, He’s Had It: Johnny WeirOMG Blog

Katie Holmes & Her On-Set Sweetie – Celebrity Baby Scoop

Miley Cyrus Is Obsessed – Hollywire

Holly Madison Slams Crystal Harris Over Hef Proposal – Allie Is Wired

 

Bombed Celebrities & Links To Hollywood


Bombed CelebritiesCity Rag

Ian Somerhalder Reveals His Address On TV – Daily Fill

Carrie Underwood Should Win Everything – IDLYITW

Jenny McCarthy Is Single Again – Pop Eater

Kirsten Dunst Talks About Her Movie Comeback – Amy Grindhouse

Vivid Blows Off Ashton Kutcher’s Legal Threats – ICYDK

Halle Berry Put Kibosh On Kim Kardashian & Gabriel AubryThe Superficial

Shakira In Concert In Tight Pants Of The Day – Drunken Stepfather

Katy Perry Does Her Sexy Pose For ‘Maxim’ – Holy Moly

The Stars At ‘The Tempest’ Premiere – Tabloid Prodigy

Even Alaskans Don’t Like Sarah Palin! – Hollywood Life

Martha Stewart Is Going To Be A Grandma – Holly Baby

Kim Kardashian Trades Down – Celeb News Wire

Kylie Minogue Considers Egg Donor To Conceive – Why Fame

The 8 Hotties Of Hanukkah: Andy SambergCollege Candy

Women Have Better Brains For Marketing – Zelda Lily

Johnny Depp Is Still Sexy – Wonderwall

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer Murdered – F-Listed

OMG, He’s In Wet Underwear: Ryan GoslingOMG Blog

Alex Rodriguez Trades Down – Anything Hollywood

B. Scott & Mariah Carey Team Up – Popbytes

Is Carrie Underwood Pregnant? – Celebrity Baby Scoop

Angelina Jolie On ‘The Today Show’ – Hollywire

Justin Bieber Pays Tribute To John WatersAllie Is Wired

 

Subliminal Seduction & Links To Hollywood


The Art Of Subliminal SeductionCity Rag

Sex-Obsessed Grandma Banged 200 Guys In 2 Years – Tabloid Prodigy

Jessica Lowndes Does FHM – IDLYITW

Miley Cyrus Is Going To College? – Daily Fill

Brad Pitt Is A Super Dad – Pop Eater

Halloween Winner: 5-Year-Old In Daphne Drag – OMG Blog

Scary Harry Potter Pics – Hollywood Life

Jenny McCarthy Pimps Out Baby Stuff – Holly Baby

Jimmy Kimmel Has A Point – Celebrity Smack

Some Sluts At The Horse Races Of The Day – Drunken Stepfather

Video Fix: Natasha Bedingfield’s ‘Strip Me’ – Popbytes

Oprah Addresses The Lesbian Rumors – Wonderwall

The Starting Line: I’m A Little Lost – College Candy

Trial Underway For New Hampshire’s Resident Psycho KillerZelda Lily

Fergie Rocks A Thong Bikini – Why Fame

Lindsay Lohan Is Hard At Work – Betty Confidential

Keira Knightley’s Back Door Burgled – Holy Moly

Kesha In Sequin Panties Isn’t A Good Look – F-Listed

Demi Lovato’s Father Shouldn’t Speak For Her – Amy Grindhouse

Jessica Alba Talks Priorities & Being Shy – Celebrity Baby Scoop

50 Cent Plays With A Half Million Dollars – Allie Is Wired

 

Witchy Woman & Links To Hollywood


Witchy WomanWonderwall

Jenny McCarthy’s Naked Birthday – City Rag

JWoww Is Predictable – IDLYITW

You Wouldn’t Like Selena Gomez When She’s Mad – Daily Fill

Denise Richards Rejects $1 Million Tell All – Pop Eater

Did You See Kesha’s Halloween Costume? – Tabloid Prodigy

OMG, His Butt: Ryan KwantenOMG Blog

Courteney Cox Is Courageous – The Superficial

Charlie O’Donnell Dies – Celebrity Smack

Alanis Morissette’s Baby Bump – Betty Confidential

Jennifer Garner Fails To Temper Violet – Why Fame

Scarlett Johansson’s Sexy New Ads – ICYDK

Jennifer Garner Shows Off Her Butt – Drunken Stepfather

Popbytes Interviews Kate NashPopbytes

Ten Novels Every Girl Should Read – College Candy

Madonna Reinvents Herself Again – Zelda Lily

No Sex For Serena! – Hollywood Life

Dave Grohl Disguises Himself For His Daughter – Holly Baby

Susan Boyle Will Be On Glee’s Christmas Episode – Amy Grindhouse

T.I. Back In Prison – Anything Hollywood

Afternoon Pick-Me-Up: Laura CessnaF-Listed

Janet Jackson Wants To Have A Family – Celebrity Baby Scoop

Evan Rachel Wood Dresses Up As Her Ex – Holy Moly

LeAnn Rimes & Eddie Cibrian Engaged? – Allie Is Wired

 

Jenny McCarthy Talks About Her New Man

Jenny McCarthy hit the beach in a bright orange bikini while in Miami with her new boyfriend, Jason Toohey.

The former Playboy model admits she’s happier than ever with Toohey, a former fitness model and Las Vegas-based pirate performer.

Speaking with People magazine she said,

“I have been so open and truthful in this relationship – it is amazing. If he wants Chinese [food] and I don’t, I say it. If he wants to go out and I want to stay in and watch ‘Dancing with the Stars,’ I tell him so. Sometimes we both want to play poker and we have a blast at home.”

“Our relationship is stronger because of the honesty. I’m so pleased with everything in my career and personal life right now. I am staying with Jason because I am happy. If that should change, I will simply leave. I trust my own happiness — and I will follow my own emotional guide.”

In April, McCarthy split from funnyman Jim Carrey after five years together. The couple revealed the news of their breakup on Twitter. The breakup forced her to see what was wrong with herself, “instead of blaming him for everything,” she admits.

“I was a girl who pretended. I would say I liked things when I didn’t. I knew if I wanted to grow, I needed to make myself happy before I could begin to have an equal relationship with another man.”

 

Jim Carrey Rebounds with Hot Brunette

Jim Carrey cracked the biggest smile on the planet at a rooftop party in NYC this past Saturday — and we’re guessing it had a lot to do with that smoking hot brunette in his arms.

It’s been 6 months since Jim called it quits with Jenny McCarthy … and it’s pretty clear he’s over the blonde phase … for now.

No word yet on the identity of the mystery woman — but based on the photo, Jim’s face says it all … “Jenny who?”

Speaking of NYC, Jim said: “Friday night in NYC! Love the people and the loud music! Lost my voice in one of the clubs. If anyone finds it, I hope they turn it in.” Maybe the brunette took it?

It’s good to see him smiling again.

  • Yeeeah! linked with Quickies: Downward Dog
 

Celebrities Support Anti-Bullying Campaigns

In September, five teenage boys killed themselves after being physically or verbally (or both) assaulted for being gay.

The suicides of Tyler Clementi, 18, Billy Lucas, 15, Asher Brown, 13, Justin Aaberg, 15, and Seth Walsh, 13, have brought national attention to the epidemic of bullying in American schools.

Now, a number of stars, many of whom have personal experience with anti-gay bullying, are speaking out in hopes of raising awareness and providing support to teens and young adults who are being victimized or who are having trouble dealing with their sexuality. The topic is also addressed in a cover story for this week’s People magazine and in a week-long series on CNN’s Anderson Cooper 360.

Most recently, ‘Project Runway‘ mentor Tim Gunn spoke candidly about his own suicide attempt and his support for The Trevor Project, a national 24-hour, toll-free confidential suicide hotline for gay and questioning youth. “I understand the desperation. I understand the despair,” an emotional Gunn said with tears in his eyes. “And I understand how isolated you can feel … It will get better. I promise.”

Comedienne Sarah Silverman has inspired some controversy by positing that a national atmosphere of institutionalized homophobia, as exemplified by the military’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy as well as campaigns for constitutional amendments to ban civil marriage for same-sex couples, are at the heart of this epidemic.

(Warning: Explicit Language)

Other celebrities involved: Ellen DeGeneres, Neil Patrick Harris, Bill O’Reilly, Anne Hathaway, Jenny McCarthy, Daniel Radcliffe, Lance Bass, Ian Somerhalder and Kristin Cavallari.

 

Top Ten Celebrity Quotes Of The Week

It’s that time again, where Gone Hollywood gives you the best of the best in celebrity quotes this week. Happy Friday! Today, we’ve got Justin Timberlake creaming his panties to get in to “The Social Network”, Zach Galifianakis dogging on “Jersey Shore” and Amy Poehler spoofing Katy Perry’s appearance for “Sesame Street”.



“I knew that it was in the two percentile of material that is just great. And then I heard David Fincher (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Fight Club) was going to be the director, and I peed in my pants a little bit.”

Justin Timberlake, on how badly he wanted to star in The Social Network, to USA Today

“Here, try it.”

Katherine Heigl, passing her electronic cigarette – a device to help break the habit – to David Letterman

“I’m not going to take a big one.”

– Letterman, accepting his first hit of vaporized nicotine, on his late show

“We have a three?”

Dancing with the Stars’ host Tom Bergeron, referring to Bruno Tonioli’s unusually low score for Michael Bolton, which set off a war of words between the ousted singer and the judge

“He keeps asking me why he can’t have multiple girlfriends at the same time. He’s also in love with birds and horses, so he’s either going to be a vet someday or the next Hugh Hefner.”

– Former Playboy Playmate Jenny McCarthy, sharing the aspirations of her son 8-year-old son Evan, to People

“Is that on PBS?”

Zach Galifianakis, claiming ignorance about The Jersey Shore, on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

“In fifth grade it was Josh Dumbbell.”

Josh Duhamel, revealing some of the grade school teasing he endured, to People

“They did invite me once…For some reason they didn’t let me go on – it was during probation.”

Martha Stewart, on why she never appeared on Saturday Night Live, while cooking with show cast member Seth Meyers on her daytime show

“Joel has sleeves and his twin brother Benji has tattoos on his neck and on his face, so I’m just hoping that my kids are just going to be so embarrassed of them that they’re just not going to [get tattoos].”

Nicole Richie, who’s also inked, on The View

“I specifically wanted the dining room painted blue, because blue is an appetite suppressant.”

DWTS contestant Margaret Cho, who says she never worked out before training for the dancing competition, to People

“Looks like today’s show is brought to you by the number 38 and the letter double D.”

Amy Poehler, in a skit with cleavage-baring Katy Perry that spoofed the singer’s controversial Sesame Street segment with Elmo, on SNL

That’s it for this week! What was your favorite quote of the week?

source: 10 Best Celeb Quotes This Week – [people]

 

The History Of Rap & Links To Hollywood


The History Of Rap With Justin Timberlake & Jimmy FallonTabloid Prodigy

Chelsie Hightower Talks BrunoGate – Pop Eater

Tony Curtis Loved Kitty – City Rag

Victoria Justice Playing A Werewolf – Daily Fill

Dress Him Up: The Taylor Lautner Online Paper Doll – OMG Blog

Janet Jackson Steps Out With Her Man – Celebrity Smack

The Situation Has A Small Penis – Celeb News Wire

Fist Fight On Jersey ShoreHollywood Life

Elijah Wood Is Single – Why Fame

Jenny McCarthy Has Hit Her Sexual Peak – Anything Hollywood

Charlie Sheen Supports Lindsay – The Superficial

Kirstie Alley Says She Lost 50 Pounds – ICYDK

Lady Gaga Sports A Hairy Dress – Popbytes

Kerry Katona Tightens Her Tummy – Holy Moly

‘The Bachelor’ Spawns Another Couple – Wonderwall

15 Hot Politicians From Around The World – Zelda Lily

Afternoon Pick-Me-Up: AKGF-Listed

11 Places Never To Take A First Date – College Candy

10 Little Known Facts About Katy PerryBetty Confidential

Miranda Kerr: Glowing & Showing – Celebrity Baby Scoop

A Tribute To Heidi KlumDrunken Stepfather

Amber ‘Teen Mom’ Investigated For Assault – Allie Is Wired

 

Jenny McCarthy Had the Hairiest Crotch Playboy’s Ever Seen

Jenny McCarthy used a chunk of the $20,000 she was paid for her first Playboy photoshoot to send her parents on a cruise – so they wouldn’t see the issue when it hit newsstands.

During her Tuesday appearance on Oprah, former Playboy cover girl McCarthy revealed the magazine’s shock at the amount of hair she had “down there!”

Jenny recalled the reaction in the room the first time the crew on hand got a look at her au naturale.

“All of a sudden I hear WOAH, WOAH! And I said is there anything on it? What’s wrong?”

Jenny said the makeup artist came over to her and explained why everyone was so shocked. “They said they never saw anyone as hairy as you in their entire life!” The audience roared as Oprah laughed along with Jenny.

I’ve seen Jenny’s photos, they really aren’t that bad.

OBVIOUSLY they’ve never seen Madonna’s hairy crotch!

source: Jenny McCarthy had the hairiest hoo-ha that Playboy’s people had ever seen [celebitchy]

 

Facebook Photos That Don’t Belong & Links To Hollywood


7 Photos That Don’t Belong On FacebookCollege Candy

Richard Simmons: Before & After – City Rag

Jenny McCarthy Has A New Boyfriend – Pop Eater

Danielle Lloyd May Have A Haunted Vagina – Holy Moly

Christina Ricci’s Girls Might Be Cold – Amy Grindhouse

Angelina Jolie Lets Her Kids Play With Fake Blood – ICYDK

Eva Longoria Should Get Those Looked At – The Superficial

Christina Aguilera Says Lady Gaga Ruined Her Career – Tabloid Prodigy

OMG, He’s A One-Minute Man: James FrancoOMG Blog

The Craigslist Killer, Philip Markoff, Commits Suicide – Zelda Lily

Kate Gosselin Is One Sad Mommy – Hollywood Life

It’s All About Katy PerryBetty Confidential

Dr. Laura Schlessinger Quits Radio – Wonderwall

Doutzen Kroes In ‘Flare’ Of The Day – Drunken Stepfather

Ke$ha Gets A Gold Tooth – Anything Hollywood

Sofia Vergara’s Nude Promise – Hollywood Dame

Katie Holmes Says Being Famous Is Weird – Why Fame

Kourtney Kardashian In A Bikini – IDLYITW

Kim Kardashian Is Still Upset With Her Sex Tape – Popbytes

Kelly Brook Calls August Her Naked Month – F-Listed

Bobby Trendy Must Be High – Celebrity Smack

Kylie Minogue Strokes A Teddy Bear – Celeb News Wire

Laurence Fishburne Is Embarrassed By Montana – Allie Is Wired

 

Jenny McCarthy Has a New Man

Jenny McCarthy has officially moved on.

After she teased on Twitter about dating a “mystery man,” the identity of the actress’s new guy is a mystery no more. His name: Jason Toohey, 35, and he is a Las Vegas resident and former fitness model who has been quietly dating McCarthy for two months.

In fact, things are going so well that the two already live together – temporarily, at least.

“I’ve been living in Vegas for about a month. My house is under construction right now in L.A., so I very well could be here until it’s done. It’s been awesome here.”

While McCarthy didn’t offer any details about Toohey, her rep confirmed that they were indeed an item.

Still, the two haven’t been exactly shy about their romance, having been spotted on several dates in Las Vegas. They also shared kisses Saturday as McCarthy hosted the Midsummer Night’s Dream bash.

Toohey, who once starred as a pirate in Treasure Island’s Sirens of TI show, is the founder of Eyedews, an under-eye mask treatment. Recently, McCarthy began promoting the product via Twitter and on Las Vegas television.

After her April breakup with longtime boyfriend Jim Carrey, McCarthy says she is focusing on “change and growth.”

“But I feel really good,” she said. “I’m really happy [and] I’m looking forward to the future.”

Here is Jason’s picture as displayed on a male bodybuilder site where his bio reads “My name is Jason Toohey I am a male fitness model, actor, and stunt performer. I live in Las Vegas Nv where I perform as a Pirate at the Treasure Island Hotel / Casino.”

source: Jenny McCarthy’s Mystery Man’s Identity Revealed [people]

 
 


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