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Jimmy Kimmel & Sarah Silverman Are Over

Late night talk-show host Jimmy Kimmel and his girlfriend of five years, comedienne Sarah Silverman, are no longer “F***ing”.

This is sad news indeed — I thought these two were perfect for one another.

Kimmel’s rep Lewis Kay and Silverman’s rep Amy Zvi both confirmed that Jimmy and Sarah are no longer dating and issued a joint statement that,

“Jimmy and Sarah have and will have no further comment.”

Reps for Matt Damon and Ben Affleck had no comment on the breakup. (Primarily because they weren’t contacted.)

What others said:

  • Celebslam says, “Luckily for Sarah, Jimmy was a gentleman about the whole breakup. He gave her half of the d**k jokes and all of the horse-f***ing jokes.”
  • Pink is the New Blog says, “Boo! I really liked these two together … could it be that Ben Affleck and Matt Damon have really come between them?”
  • Hollyscoop says, “This just goes to show you that there is no hope for anyone in Hollywood. Sarah and Jimmy seemed to be such a cool down to earth happy couple so this news is very surprising to us.”

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25 Funniest People in America

Presenting The 25 Funniest People in America. From Conan O’Brien to Stephen Colbert, Tina Fey to Craig Ferguson, let’s count down the names of the entertainers who make us laugh the hardest.

25. AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS

Burroughs’ best-selling memoir Running with Scissors — about being raised by a nutso shrink who studies his poo and rents the back shed to a pedophile — is unbelievably disturbing. And sidesplitting. At first we felt guilty giggling at his adventures with an electroshock therapy machine, but Burroughs knows that laughter is the best antidepressant. Much better than booze, which the author struggles to kick in his equally effervescent follow-up, Dry.

24. CATHERINE O’HARA

After her run on SCTV in the late ’70s, Hollywood didn’t know what to do with O’Hara. Fortunately, Christopher Guest did. In Waiting for Guffman, she and Fred Willard are tracksuit-wearing answers to Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire; in Best in Show, she’s a onetime floozy with a prize terrier and a torrid past; and in A Mighty Wind, O’Hara shows off a subtler comic touch, proving that humor doesn’t always mean a pie in the face.

23. SARAH SILVERMAN

The Lenny Bruce of the 21st century might be this hot, foul-mouthed, button-punching stand-up. Silverman is ruthlessly funny about topics like sex, the Holocaust, and 9/11, which may be why The Sarah Silverman Program has a permanent slot on our DVR. Oh, and if you hadn’t heard, she’s f—ing Matt Damon.

22. DAVE CHAPPELLE

The fact that Diamond Dave is all but absent from the comedic stage these days doesn’t invalidate his funny. After all, Chappelle’s revered Comedy Central show — on which the wiry comic gleefully engaged in crass T&A humor, swore like a sailor, and mocked everyone in the multiculti rainbow, confronting race in a way that is positively Pryor-esque — is still the best sketch comedy this country has seen in more than a decade. For that alone, he deserves a spot on any list like this.

21. DEMETRI MARTIN

You know what’s funny? Palindromes and anagrams. ”Shut up, Grandma,” you say, but we say shut up yourself and watch Demetri Martin work a stand-up mic. ”A drunk driver’s very dangerous. Everybody knows that. But so is a drunk backseat driver — if he’s persuasive.” The floppy-haired heir to Steven Wright won a prestigious award at last year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe, taking him from the comedy underground to…the comedy slightly less underground.

20. DIABLO CODY

Not to be partial, but the newly minted Oscar winner showed off her comedic — and emotional — chops with her debut screenplay for Juno. Did we mention it won an Oscar?

19. CRAIG FERGUSON

Late night is the province of the mono-name. Jay! Dave! Conan! Then there’s that Scottish guy, two-name ID required: Craig Ferguson. You know, the one who can’t quite be pinned down. Since taking over CBS’ Late Late Show from Craig Kilborn in 2005, Ferguson has brought a fresh burst of energy to the format. He’s reinvented the opening monologue, doing away with most of the topical jokes and just ad-libbing about his life. Along with fresh energy, he’s brought something else — ratings. Ferguson, 45 and a brand-spanking-new U.S. Citizen, doesn’t get as much media attention as time-slot competitors Jimmy Kimmel or Conan, but with an audience of just under 2 million, the great Scot outperforms the former and has climbed within 500,000 viewers of the latter.

18. JACK BLACK

Black is an entirely new classification of human: the frenetic slacker. Before his turn as doofus band reject/inspirational teacher Dewey Finn in School of Rock, he was the Ritalin-deprived half of Tenacious D (along with his partner, Kyle Gass) and the list-obsessed record-shop shlub in High Fidelity. He is, inarguably, the coolest fusion of music and comedy since Spinal Tap. (And, if Tropic Thunder is as good as we’ve been led to believe, we’ll forgive him that whole Nacho Libre business.)

17. DAVID LETTERMAN

With a receding hairline and a jogger’s grim jowls, Dave is no one’s idea of a hip comic, and he likes it that way. New-school gone old-school, the upstart who first pumped irony into the talk show still rails against the stupidity of the powerful and yet has the charm to melt Julia Roberts.

16. AMY SEDARIS AND DAVID SEDARIS

Big brother is the best-selling author of the sublime autobiographical essay collections Me Talk Pretty One Day and Naked, full of terrific riffs about stuff like his cuckoo-clock North Carolina clan and his midget guitar teacher. Little sis was the rubber-faced star of Comedy Central’s truly strange Strangers With Candy, as well as coauthor of the book Wigfield.

15. WILL FERRELL

See, there’s this man-child who latches onto Will Ferrell in most every role he plays — and good luck getting the little guy to let go. As a result, we are treated to inspired displays of dolt-trapped-in-the-headlights hijinks, be it in the form of Old School’s keghead Frank the Tank (who goes from repressed to regressed to undressed) or Talladega Nights’ Ricky Bobby, the dumbest, most earnest NASCAR driver on the circuit — who’s also the most comfortable with his sexuality.

14. RICKY GERVAIS

Okay, so he doesn’t spend all that much of his time in America. We don’t care. Whether as the creator of The Office and Extras, a supporting actor in movies like For Your Consideration or Night at the Museum, or doing killer stand-up (as seen most recently in Grand Theft Auto IV), he’s still as funny as the dog’s bollocks.

13. ELLEN DEGENERES

DeGeneres, whose career seemed all but kaput a few years ago, has earned back adoration simply by being her affably dry self on the Emmy-winning The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Whether it’s her circuitous monologues, her deadpan celebrity interviews, or that vocal turn as Dory in Finding Nemo, she remains one of the cleanest, coolest funny ladies around.

12. DAVID CROSS

All conversations about his genius start here: Along with Bob Odenkirk, he created the cunning HBO sketch series Mr. Show, which routinely put SNL to silly shame. And not only does Cross work little miracles in supporting roles (remember his role as feckless freak-job Tobias on Fox’s Arrested Development?), he can drop some pretty fearsome stand-up (who else talks about being raped by the Virgin Mary?). Simply put, this dude never kowtows for his funny.

11. CONAN O’BRIEN

Smarty-pants isn’t usually a compliment, but O’Brien wears them so well. When this Harvard geek isn’t riffing on Muammar Gaddafi in his monologue, he’s making absurd innovations in low-brow comedy. Now, let’s see if those absurd innovations will play on The Tonight Show….

The Top 10 are after the jump!!

 

Edward Norton & Guillermo Spoof ‘The Incredible Hulk’

Edward Norton and Guillermo spoof The Incredible Hulk on Jimmy Kimmel Live! Game Night.

I guess this is just some of that promotion, that he’s reportedly refusing to do.

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People’s 100 Most Beautiful

People magazine has issued a “sneak peek” into their 100 Most Beautiful People issue and I have to ask… are they saving the best for last? Rumer Willis?

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Kate Hudson - Photo

KATE HUDSON
She’s on the cover of this year’s Most Beautiful issue, but Hudson doesn’t owe her famous sun-kissed looks to thousands of hours logged at a spa. “I don’t even remember the last time I got a manicure,” says the 29-year-old mom to son Ryder, 4. “I even got to the point where I started waxing my own legs because I don’t have the time. I’d rather be home with Ryder sitting there waxing my legs. I haven’t gotten a facial in a million years. I don’t do those kinds of things. And when I do, I always think, ‘I should do this more often.’”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Salma Hayek - Photo

SALMA HAYEK
The new mom is beautiful inside and out, having signed on as ambassador for a Pampers/UNICEF program that provides tetanus shots to babies and mothers in developing countries. (Every pack of diapers with a UNICEF logo sold pays for one shot.) “You give them the vaccine, they don’t die,” says Hayek, 41. “It’s not just about creating a better world for my daughter, Valentina, but also being more passionate about diminishing the suffering of women and children all over the world.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Mary J. Blige - Photo

MARY J. BLIGE
“I’m at my most beautiful when I’m in a good mood, not dealing with any drama, and feeling healthy,” says the singer, 37. But when she wants to get glam in a pinch, Blige has a quick beauty tip. “I put on eyeliner and mascara and some liner on my mouth and some gloss in the middle, and that’s the perfect five-minute face.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Rumer Willis - Photo

RUMER WILLIS
“I grew up with a mom that most moms don’t look like,” says the 19-year-old star of the summer comedy The House Bunny. But with a little help from mom Demi Moore, and a some experimentation, she’s finding her own way: “There’s a cool Korean spa my mom found in L.A. I go with my best friend, [Gossip Girl's] Jessica Szohr. That and getting my nails done are my biggest indulgences.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Sarah Silverman - Photo

SARAH SILVERMAN
“It sounds corny, but when I’m with my comedian friends, I just feel good. I’m lucky because I feel way more beautiful than I really am,” says the comic, 37. And although she, ahem, “paired up” with Matt Damon, Silverman’s still going strong with boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel. “Thank God for Jimmy, because all the things I don’t like about myself are the things that he likes the most. Like my inner-thigh fat. He grabs it and he’s like, ‘I love this!’ ”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Christina Applegate - Photo

CHRISTINA APPLEGATE
The 36-year-old actress admits to a new beauty addiction that she picked up on the set of her hit comedy, Samantha Who?. “They airbrush my makeup on,” she says. “Now I don’t want to do anything without that – it’s quick and it’s good. I want to get out of the makeup chair as soon as possible. I’m so low-maintenance.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Eva Longoria & Tony Parker - Photo

EVA LONGORIA & TONY PARKER
They’re one of PEOPLE’s Most Beautiful couples, but the Desperate Housewife – known for her knockout red-carpet appearances – looks the best when she’s low-key, according to her husband. Putting a cute spin on it, the NBA star says, “I like her best in jeans, a T-shirt and Hugs.” Says Longoria Parker, “He means Uggs.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Isla Fisher - Photo

ISLA FISHER
Her fiery locks aren’t just a signature style – for Fisher, 32, they also provide a convenient excuse! “It was great having red hair as a kid because I had something to blame my temper on,” the Aussie actress says. “Now I go for the same color palette as Conan O’Brien. I did dye it blonde once, but it backfired, as I had nothing to blame my temper on!”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Amanda Beard - Photo

AMANDA BEARD
“To look good in the water, you have to pick the right swimsuit,” advises the gold-medal Olympic swimmer, 26. “I own close to 500.” And that’s not her only tip for a pretty poolside look: “I wear makeup in the water. I always wear a waterproof mascara, Maybelline Volume Express. All my makeup is waterproof, even my concealer.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - The Gossip Girl Cast - Photo

THE GOSSIP GIRL CAST
Onscreen, they are gorgeous, scheming, backstabbing high schoolers. Off-screen, Blake Lively, Chace Crawford, Ed Westwick, Jessica Szohr, Penn Badgley, Leighton Meester and Taylor Momsen (clockwise from bottom) are still gorgeous but somewhat kinder to one another. “I assure you,” says Badgley, “we are all fun and charming as hell.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Julianne Moore - Photo

JULIANNE MOORE
The natural redhead says that when she was younger, she hated her flame-red hair. “Nobody likes being different as a kid. In first grade kids called me Freckleface Strawberry – it was a drink mix. It is also the title of my children’s book,” says Moore, 47. Recently she dyed her hair blonde for the upcoming film Blindness. “It was fun for two days, then I started to hate it. I spent all my life wishing for different color hair, but now I felt too weird to enjoy it. The minute the movie wrapped, I changed it back.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Jason Taylor - Photo

JASON TAYLOR
If he hasn’t already taken enough ribbing from his Miami Dolphins teammates about his elegant moves on Dancing with the Stars, more is on the way. “This article will be plastered in the locker room,” predicts the 6′6″ Taylor. But the defensive end, 33, is taking the jokes in stride: “In the guy world, it’s a sign of respect. I’d be more worried if they didn’t tease me.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Vanessa Hudgens - Photo

VANESSA HUDGENS
“I grew up in the business, so I was used to putting on makeup every day,” says the 19-year-old star of the High School Musical movies, who went without makeup for her PEOPLE photo shoot. “Just recently I’ve learned to be okay with myself without wearing makeup. I think it was a special someone telling me that I didn’t need it. I started taking care of my skin and realized I didn’t need as much as I thought I did.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Taylor Swift - Photo

TAYLOR SWIFT
“I have blonde eyelashes and blonde eyebrows, so my typical insecurity is that my eyes go away when I don’t have makeup on,” says the Grammy-nominated country singer, 19, who also went makeup-free for her PEOPLE shoot. “But it’s important to be comfortable with who you are and go natural once in a while.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Zoe Saldana - Photo

ZOË SALDAÑA
“I feel self-conscious when I have makeup on. It just doesn’t feel like it’s part of me,” says the actress, 29, who didn’t wear any for her PEOPLE shoot. “I feel my most confident when I am at my most natural. However, I do have my days when I really want to do something dramatic, whether it be really dark, dark eyes or dark lipstick. I love red lipstick.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Jessica Alba & Cash Warren - Photo

JESSICA ALBA & CASH WARREN
“[Pregnancy is] the most beautiful thing that can happen to you,” Alba says, admitting that she has a bit of a “glow.” “Everything in my face is puffed up. I have the face of a teenager! I feel like I’m 16 again.” Even Warren says he’s gotten in on the action, admitting, “I don’t know if it’s as much of a pregnancy glow as kind of a barbecue-grease glow. I’ve gained probably about 10 pounds.”

People’s 100 Most Beautiful - Carrie Underwood - Photo

CARRIE UNDERWOOD
The Grammy-winning beauty, 25, admits that she still gets nervous on the red carpet. “I feel more beautiful when I see the pictures after. I’m like, ‘I wish I had felt like I looked like that when I was actually there.’”

source: World’s Most Beautiful People [people]

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Ryan Phillippe Faux Sex Tape

ryan_phillippe.jpg

This is one of those sex tapes you want to see. Even though I find Ryan Phillippe to be uptight and a bit of prude, he manages to prove me wrong. While on Jimmy Kimmel show he too fell victim to the video clip parody schtick that is becoming Kimmel’s moniker.

The sex tape shows Ryan and Jimmy’s older security guard engaging in foreplay. (She looks a bit like Rosario from Will and Grace.) With his new tattoos exposed it makes me wonder if this desperation bleeds into real life or if the mythical baby with Abbie Cornish is keeping him company.

Source: Ryan Phillippe gets it on with Veatrice [Masala]

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Links To Hollywood - #113

Aubrey O’Day Wearing Dress by Michael’s Craft Store - Photo

Aubrey O’Day Wearing Dress by Michael’s Craft Store - Mollygood

Husband Arrested for Leaving Wife on Toilet for Two Months - Dlisted

Lauren Conrad is Thirsty for Some Milk - Ninja Dude

Adriana Lima LOVES Her Nude GQ Photos - The Bastardly

Uncle Dirty - 86 Years Old and a Long Dong - City Rag

Where Are Donatella Versace’s Nostrils? - Celebrity Smack

Oprah is Fat Again - Popbytes

Jimmy Kimmel Pregnant with Ben Affleck’s Baby - Seriously? OMG! WTF!

Vanessa Williams: Urine is Good for the Skin - Celeb News Wire

‘Deal Or No Deal’ Model Wins Lawsuit - Flisted

Josh Hartnett: Surrounded By Assholes? - Gawker

Jennifer Aniston is Still Flaunting Her Ass - Egotastic

Angelina Jolie: So Many Babies, So Little Time - Celeb Warship

Pamela Anderson is Telling Lies - Evil Beet Gossip

Miley Cyrus’ Mom is Hot? - Fatback Media

Tara Reid Goes on Airplanes Drunk - Drunken Stepfather

Jennifer Lopez’s Babies First Pictures - Allie is Wired

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Petra Nemcova is F’ing Sean Penn

Petra Nemcova is F’ing Sean Penn

While Matt Damon, Sarah Silverman, Ben Affleck and Jimmy Kimmel are having some sordid sexcapade, Sean Penn has been seeking solace in the ample bosom of Petra Nemcova.

The new couple has been airing out their romance the past few weeks. They first appeared together at the CAA party, then Elton John’s AIDS Foundation screening party and they were not shy about their relationship last night.

Petra Nemcova is F’ing Sean Penn

Sean Penn and his soon to be ex wife Robin Wright announced their split in late December. The rumor was that Robin caught Sean in bed with two Russian whores while on vacation together. Petra on the other hand had a brief romance with James Blunt around Oscar time last year.

Taking someone to the Oscars pretty much confirms the bumping of uglies. He might of well have had her panties in his mouth.

Source: Run Petra Run! [Dlisted]

**UPDATE [allie]: Upgrade from James Blunt?

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Links To Hollywood - #97

Clay Aiken is the Leprechaun King - PIC

Clay Aiken is the Leprechaun King - City Rag

Lindsay Lohan Has Orange Cleavage - Ninja Dude

Ashlee Simpson Gets Her Hair Did - Dlisted

Audrina Partridge Flashes Her Panties - Egotastic

The Vagina Couch - Best Week Ever

Katie Holmes Fakes NYC Marathon - A Socialites Life

The B-52’s Set for Comeback After 16 Years - Celebrity Smack

Oprah Winfrey to Dr. Phil, ‘You’re Fired’ - Popbytes

Is Kim Kardashian on a Diet? - The Bastardly

Jimmy Kimmel is Actually Funny, Now and Then - Seriously? OMG! WTF?

GUESS Jeans Has A New Hottie - Flisted

Eva Mendes Has a Slippery Nipply - Celeb News Wire

Bai Ling Flashes Her Tits and Panties Again - Drunken Stepfather

Kristy Lee Cook is Early ‘Idol’ Favorite - Bumpshack

Someone Out There Loves Paula Abdul - Fatback and Collards

Sarah Michelle Gellar Never Got a Nose Job - Celebslam

T-Shirts Make Pete Doherty’s Nipples Sore - Dlisted

Demi Moore’s Not Photoshopped - It’s Watercolor Painting - I’m Not Obsessed

Breaking: Britney Spears Stinks - Allie is Wired

 

Links To Hollywood - #83

Do You Know What Your Kids Are Eating? - PIC

Do You Know What Your Kids Are Eating? - City Rag

Ashley Tisdale Gets Her Nose Enhanced - Ninja Dude

Jodie Foster Crawls Outta Bed - onto the Red Carpet - Seriously? OMG! WTF?

Jimmy Kimmel Takes Care of Staff During WGA Strike - Celebrity Smack

Lindsay Lohan and Leann Rimes - Worst Wax Figures Ever - Popbytes

Spice Girls Reunion Tour Update - A Socialites Life

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo Heat Up - Bricks and Stones

Paris Hilton Celebrates Britney Spears Birthday - Hollyscoop

Ethan Hawke is Still Shacking up with the Nanny - I’m Not Obsessed

Lindsay Lohan Has Dumped Riley - Celeb News Wire

Paris Hilton Buys Yet Another Dog - Dlisted

Angelina And Maddox Support Papa Pitt - Splash News Online

Christian Bale To Star In ‘Terminator’ - Breaking News USA

Greasy Bear Regulates His Cocaine Use - Pop On The Pop

I Bet Petra Nemcova Smells Really Good - Popoholic

Fallen “Idol” Offered Cop Fellatio - TMZ

Will Smith: Scientology Wasn’t for Me - US Weekly

Kate Moss and Her Strange Looking Nipples - Drunken Stepfather

Fergie Has Smashed Boobs - Hollywood Tuna

Celebrity Look-Alike Contest - Enter at Allie is Wired

 

Jimmy Kimmel Unscripted in Flavor Flav Roast Tonight

Jimmy Kimmel Unscripted in Flavor Flav Roast Tonight - PIC

Tonight is the airing of Comedy Central’s roast of Flavor Flav. Here’s a preview of Jimmy Kimmel unscripted. Or if you’re like me, instead of a preview, it will be the only part of the show you hear about.

quote-pic “It’s exciting Flav’s ladies are here in the audience tonight,” Kimmel said at the taping a couple of weeks ago. “Potty, Toasty, Sleepy, Dopey, Slutty.” After Kimmel joked, “They named the show ‘Flavor of Love’ because VH1 decided the original title, ‘Black Guy Impregnates 20 Whores’ wasn’t catchy enough,’ ” some of the “Flavor” girls made obscene gestures at the dais. Kimmel ad-libbed, “Did the whores do something? Yes, yes, that will change the perceptions about you.”

I cannot believe they’re making Flavor of Love 3. It was funny for a minute, but move on VH1.

Source: “NOT IN THE SCRIPT” [NY Post]

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