I know nothing about these kids except that they wear funny looking pants and magical rings that are somehow possessed by the powers of virginity until marriage.
…or so we’ve been told.
Some crazy allegations were made today by a supposed assistant of the Jonas Brothers. The unnamed woman called a Cincinnati radio show and stated that one Jonas has a drug problem. Then she pulled out some “what the f*ckery”. She says that Joe Jonas may be the father to twins that are currently incubating in the womb of some unknown Jonas-boinker.
She also says that the world shall be shocked and appalled when the paternity results are revealed in about three weeks.
Joe Jonas, 20, announced today that he broke up with his 17 year old girlfriend Demi Lovato, and I’d like to think it’s because currently his twins are residing in the twisted guts of Michelle ‘Bombshell” McGee. My head would quite possibly explode from the amount of glee and mean spirited enjoyment I would get from that news.
Unfortunately, the world does not cater to my morbid desires.
I have no idea why this chick called a morning show in Cincinnati, or what kind of fact checking they did to find out if she really is connected to the trio, but I just want this crap to be true. I want it to be true so damned bad.
Have you enjoyed the music so far this decade? I have, but some of it has been absolutely dreadful. The guys at British music site Gigwise agree and have thrown together a list of the 50 worst albums of the 2000s.
Because this list is British you may not know some of them, which makes you lucky but there is a lot of Americans on the list.
I am not going to post the 50 albums right here because they would take up your whole screen, check the jump below for the full list. Here is the the 10 worst albums:
10. Vanilla Ice: ‘Bi-Polar’ (2001)
An album that’s so bad it”s laughable. Seriously check it out and you’ll piss yourself. Still trying desperately to live off the success of ‘Ice Ice Baby’, Mr Van Winkle put out a string of albums on his own imprint (after record labels refused to sign him) and this, ‘Bi-Polar’, is easily the worst of the bunch. One-half cliched rock music, the other lame rap, not even a guest slot from Chuck D was enough to save this from bargain bins.
9. Victoria Beckham: ‘Victoria Beckham’ (2001)
No it wasn’t a bad dream, Victoria Beckham aka Posh Spice, aka vacuous fake-titted airhead, genuinely did release a solo album. Despite lacking the charisma, vocals or talent to actually be a force in music, Mrs David Beckham released this record. The only thing we can be grateful for is that she omitted the number two hit ‘Out Of Your Mind’ featuring Dane Bowers. If you ever feel like complaining about the quality of music at the moment then just thank your lucky stars it’s no longer the year 2001.
8. The Cheeky Girls: ‘Party Time’ (2004)
A true low point in British pop music these two Transylvanian sisters first appeared on reality TV show Popstars: The Rivals where they did not make it beyond the first round. Even judge Geri Halliwell thought they were rubbish. This did not deter the band nor the major label vultures however and spying a chance to make a quick buck the Cheeky Girls were handed a record deal and went into the studio to record this dreadful album. Written by the girls Mother this album contains the now infamous ‘Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)’. Most staggeringly of all is that ‘Party Time’ reached number 14 in the album charts and sold over a million copies.
7. Paris Hilton: ‘Paris’ (2006)
In which Paris Hilton revealed her love of My Bloody Valentine and early Bob Dylan. OK, not really, this self titled album is in fact a horrendous, manufactured piece of pop diarrhoea that was forgotten almost as soon as it was released. Nobody knows the true horror of Paris’s voice as it was hidden under a mountain of studio trickery which makes her come out sounding even more cold and dead than normal. No mean feat. The only good thing that came from this release was that it sprang Banksy into action. The guerilla artist replaced Hilton’s CD with his own remixes and gave them titles such as ‘Why Am I Famous?’, ‘What Have I Done?’ and ‘What Am I For?’ He also changed pictures of her on the CD sleeve to show the US socialite topless and with a dog’s head.
6. Chris Cornell: ‘Scream’ (2009)
So you were the lead singer in Soundgarden then went on to front a band consisting of ex-members of Rage Against The Machine – a pretty solid CV most people would agree. So why of why did Chris Cornell feel the need to record this dreadful album with Timbaland? The sound of two men who have fallen so far from their respective perches that they can only work together, ‘Scream’ is an auto-tuned painful mid-life crisis of an album that Nine Inch Nails’ Trent Reznor hilariously mocked online.
5. Kevin Federline: ‘Playing With Fire’ (2006)
Apparently being married to Britney Spears is now an in to the music industry. K-Fed’s 2006 album ‘Playing With Fire’ is widely regarded as the worst album of the decade with the lowest average mark on reviews aggregator Metacritic. Chances are, however, it is only the critics that have heard the album as it flopped in the States reaching the very low position of 151 in the charts.
4. brokeNCYDE: ‘I’m Not A Fan… But The Kids Like It’ (2009)
Easily the worst band to emerge this decade, the New Mexico crunk outfit are the aural equivalent of rubbing a cheese grater on your manhood. Or sandpaper even. Honestly, there are barely words in the dictionary to describe how horrible this record is. How any kids like these is truly beyond us.
3. Crazy Frog: ‘Crazy Hits’ (2005)
Now we at Gigwise don’t often use the word ‘cunt’, but it’s truly the only word to suit this little green, animated urchin. Originally dubbed The Annoying Thing by its creators (The Annoying Cunt would have been more apt), the Crazy Frog was first used for mobile phone ringtones but indicative of how brain-dead the masses are he went on to spawn (ahem) a huge pop career. A collection of cover versions that’s so bad, it could actually be used as a torture instrument.
2. The Jonas Brothers: ‘A Little Bit Longer’ (2008)
The world’s citizens – well, those under the age of 13 – stopped in their tracks when The Jonas Brothers released ‘A Little Bit Longer’ in 2008 such was the anticipation for its release. Well, it’s just a shame that the world didn’t blow up as well, because that would have eradicated the possibility of further releases from these three self-confessed virgins, whose voices are so high-pitched they manage to make James Blunt sound like Barry White.
1. Katie Price & Peter Andre: ‘A Whole New World’ (2006)
The covers record by the attention-seeking, vacuous airhead Katie and Peter (we won’t use such harsh words for Andre, he’s actually a bloody nice bloke) is sheer musical genocide. Okay the ill-fated couple donated proceeds to charity, a very nice sentiment, but surely there’s easier ways to raise funds that to inflict aural torture on the masses? Maybe even dig deep into their own pockets. Their soppy out-of-tune version of the title track is easily one of the worst songs ever recorded to boot.
If you want to see the full 50 worst albums then take the jump below.
50. Oasis: ‘Standing On The Shoulders Of Giants’ (2000)
49. Black Eyed Peas: ‘The E.N.D’ (2009)
48. Hard Fi: ‘Once Upon a Time in the West’ (2007)
47. Razorlight: ‘Razorlight’ (2006)
46. Scouting For Girls: ‘Scouting For Girls’ (2007)
45. Daniel Powter: ‘Daniel Powter’ (2005)
44. The Darkness: ‘One Way Ticket To Hell… And Back’ (2005)
42. Queen & Paul Rodgers: ‘The Cosmos Rocks’ (2008)
41. Guns N Roses: ‘Chinese Democracy’ (2008)
40. Kaiser Chiefs: ‘Yours Truly, Angry Mob’ (2007)
39. Mark Ronson: ‘Version’ (2007)
38. Puddle of Mudd: ‘Life On Display’ (2003)
37. Staind: ‘Break The Cycle’ (2001)
36. Avril Lavigne: ‘Let Go’ (2002)
35. Nickelback: ‘All The Right Reasons’ (2005)
34. The Twang: ‘Jewellery Quarter’ (2009)
33. Towers of London: ‘Blood Sweat and Towers’ (2006)
32. Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em: ’souljaboytellem.com’
31. Limp Bizkit: ‘Results May Vary’ (2003)
30. Las Ketchup: ‘Hijas del Tomate’ (2002)
29. Westlife: ‘Allow Us To Be Frank’ (2004)
28. Tokio Hotel: ‘Scream’ (2007)
27. Jennifer Lopez: ‘Rebirth’ (2005)
26. Robbie Williams: ‘Rudebox’ (2006)
25. Lindsay Lohan: ‘Speak’ (2004)
24. Mariah Carey: ‘Charmbracelet’ (2002)
23. Geri Halliwell: ‘Scream If You Wanna Go Faster’ (2001)
22. Alice Deejay: ‘Who Needs Guitars Anyway?’ (2000)
21. Ashlee Simpson: ‘I Am Me’ (2005)
20. Kelly Osbourne: ‘Changes’ (2003)
19. James Blunt: ‘Back To Bedlam’ (2004)
18. Jessica Simpson: ‘Do You Know’ (2008)
17. Craig David: ‘Born To Do It’ (2000)
16. Insane Clown Posse: ‘Bizzar’/’Bizaar’ (2000)
15. Celine Dion: ‘Taking Chances’ (2007)
14. Gareth Gates: ‘What My Heart Wants To Say’ (2003)
13. Rik Waller: ‘From Now’ (2002)
12. Enrique Iglesias: ‘Escape’ (2001)
11. Daphne & Celeste: ‘We Didn’t Say That!’ (2000)
Well isn’t this nice? Here are some very hot pictures of Camilla Belle in a new photoshoot she did for GQ magazine.
The 22-year-old who is dating Joe Jonas, the middle brother from the Jonas Brothers says that “Brazilian men are comfortable with their sexuality.â€
[Click thumbnails for a larger view]
I wonder what that says for Joe Jonas, who as you know is an American. Oh well, enjoy Camilla Belle looking very sexy.
