When most people think of comedians they usually just think of the men and most movies or comedy tours are full of male comedians, to celebrate some of the female comedians Yahoo have come up with a list of the top female comedians. Take a look at the top 10:
10. Lucille Ball “How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes, we’d profit from them.”
Probably the single most influential woman figure in comedy, Ball’s long-running sitcom I Love Lucy not only forged the path for women on TV, but continues to run in syndication, holding its own against contempory television comedies that she and it undoubtedly influenced.
09. Jenny McCarthy “My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.”
The original naughty hottie, McCarthy started on the MTV dating show, Singled Out. Her crassness, crudeness, and tomboyish tongue often stole the spotlight and not only opened doors for her career, but also for foul-mouthed female followers like Chelsea Handler.
08. Tracey Ullman “If God had intended for breasts to be seen, He wouldn’t have created large woolen pullovers.”
Regarded as the queen of sketch comedy, Ullman’s side-splitting sendups of famous men and women alike made The Tracey Ullman Show a hit in the 90′s and beyond. It also introduced the world to an animated family of five named The Simpsons.
07. Joan Rivers “I don’t excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
The queen of the red carpet and savage wit. If women in comedy was a political office, Rivers would be the two-term president who won by a landslide. Respected by peers and audiences alike, Rivers’ witty tongue-lashings take aim at everything and everyone, including herself.
06. Roseanne Barr “Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we’ll take up, and the more we’ll have to be reckoned with.”
Barr’s success came at a time when audiences wanted it: an overweight, homely, mom-type who hid a hilarious sense of humor under her juice-stained sweats. Barr was lauded and loved for her true-to-life portrayal of supermoms everywhere, but also castigated for setting Tom Arnold loose on the world.
05. Ellen Degeneres “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
Years ago, Degeneres turned her sitcom Ellen’s demise and media-fed questions about her sexuality into her current success as TV’s first openly-gay comedy/variety talk-show host. Her throne atop daytime television remains unchallenged, and her Queen of Nice title does nothing to tarnish her hilarity.
04. Carol Burnett “We didn’t exactly starve, but we were pretty poor when I was growing up. I remember thinking, Oh gosh, if I could just make thirty dollars a month to help with the rent, that would be fabulous. So perhaps I envied performers when I heard that Bing Crosby made twenty dollars a minute.”
Along with Lucille Ball, Phyllis Diller, and Lily Tomlin, Carol Burnett is widely considered one of the fore-mothers of female comedy. The Carol Burnett Show, a long-running sketch comedy hour, sealed her fate as an American icon for women in comedy.
03. Amy Poehler “I’ve said this before, that, when you’re in school and you’re the class clown, men are really good at making fun at other people and women are really good at making fun of themselves.”
Any fan of Late Night with Conan O’Brien will tell you some of the funniest moments on the show were when sidekick Andy Richter’s angry, hyperactive “kid sister” interrupted the show with her emotional outbursts. Poehler later went on to steal scenes on Saturday Night Live, host Weekend Update, and star in her own sitcom, NBC’s Parks and Rec.
02. Phyllis Diller “You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.”
To say that Phyllis Diller paved the way for zany, female comics would be like saying Michael Jordan was a pretty good basketball player. Diller’s original zaniness, wit, and personality were unlike any seen before, and her scratchy-voiced delivery of some of the most deadpan statements places her among the top originals of funny women.
01. Amy Sedaris “I always got along with all types of people – popular people as well as drug addicts.”
“Weird,” “strange,” and “offbeat” are words used to describe Sedaris and her sense of humor, but only in conjuction with “funny.” Sedaris’ books, stints on TV, and talk show appearances have only confirmed these descriptions, but it is this uniqueness along with her sense of humor that makes her so original and funny.
I would not put Jenny McCarthy on this list instead I would add Kathy Griffin and Lisa Kudrow to the list, who is your top female comedians at the moment?
For what I’m about to do to your eyeballs, I sincerely apologize in advance. You see, Kathy Griffin decided it was necessary to show off her old butt in a bullet-studded camouflage bikini at the VH1 Divas event.
Since I am virtually blinded by this mess, I thought I would share the horror with you. You’re welcome.
Kathy took to the stage and thrusted her crotch into our faces, GO TROOPS! In another photo, she is *allegedly* describing how small Jon Gosselin’s junk is….either that, or how big Jessica Simpson’s brain is. The jury’s still out on that one.
Check out the rest of the photos below and no, we will not be supplying you with eye bleach when your finished.
[Click thumbnails for a larger view]
source: Kathy Griffin in a Bikini (I’m Sorry) – [the superficial]
Kathy Griffin hosted the VH1 Divas salute to the troops this weekend, but her “jokes” about Bristol Palin being “fat” fell flat.
“She’s the only contestant in the history of the show to actually gain weight,” Griffin said in reference to Bristol’s trip to the finals on “Dancing With the Stars.”
Even after the troops’ loud booing, Griffin continued the attack.
“No, come on, come on. She gained like 30 pounds a week, I swear to God, it was fantastic,” Griffin said. “She’s like the white Precious.”
(Actress Gabourey Sidibe played the role of “Precious,” a 350-pound black woman in the hit Lee Daniels film which was released last year.)
But Palin, 20, isn’t letting 50-year-old Griffin’s digs bring her down.
“The audience’s reaction to this ‘comedian’ spoke volumes, and the decent people I know would probably have booed her, too,” Palin told Pop Tarts in an exclusive statement. “I hope people didn’t have to pay money to hear her negativity and criticisms.”
The annual VH1 show, which was taped at San Diego’s Miramar Marine base and presented by the USO, also featured a slew of young performers such as Katy Perry, Nicki Minaj and Paramore.
According to PopEater’s Rob Shuter, VH1 producers considered editing out the awkward dialogue and response, recorded Friday night, but given the attention it generated, decided to leave it in Sunday’s television broadcast.
Sarah Palin wasn’t the only person kept in the dark about daughter Bristol’s surprise engagement to ex-boyfriend Levi Johnston – funny lady Kathy Griffin was taken aback as well.
Though they never actually dated, Johnston and Griffin have kept up a comedic charade about their so-called “love affair” since making a highly publicized appearance together at the 2009 Teen Choice Awards last August.
“Oh y did I trust my heart 2 a 19 yr old ice-fisherman/babydaddy from Wasila?” the comedienne Tweeted Wednesday about Johnston.
Griffin, 49, even traveled to the Alaskan hockey player’s hometown of Wasila earlier this year to spend time with Johnston as part of her Bravo reality show, “Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List.”
“I just have so much in common with Levi. We can talk for minutes,” Griffin once told Time magazine. “As long as I can quote ‘The Bachelorette’ to him, I’d say we have a connection.”
Following news of his engagement, Griffin went on to joke on Twitter that she was putting herself “on a 5150 psych hold,” the same involuntary psychiatric hold once forced upon Britney Spears.
Bristol Palin and Johnston announced today on the cover of Us Weekly that they’re back together and have decided to get hitched. The couple, who ended their rocky romance in March 2009 after a highly publicized breakup, pose together on the magazine’s cover with their 18-month-old son Tripp.
The formerly engaged pair says they got back together three months ago after meeting to discuss a custody plan for their son. An intimate text from Johnston later that night rekindled the young lovers’ romance.
source: Kathy Griffin Devastated by Levi Johnston/Bristol Palin Engagement [celebuzz]
Friday has rolled around once again, and here at Gone Hollywood, we’ve got the best of the best in celebrity quotes this week! Without further ado, I present the best, which includes Miley Cyrus’ infatuation with Zac Efron, Megan Fox stating the obvious about Justin Bieber — and more!
Enjoy!
“I am obsessed with Zac Efron. If it wouldn’t be creepy, because he’s a friend, I would have posters on my wall.”
– Miley Cyrus, to Access Hollywood
“He’s got more talent in those bangs than I’ve got in my whole body.”
– Megan Fox, the latest casualty of Bieber fever, to E! Online
“I remember thinking at one point, ‘I know: I’ll get my hips lipo-ed off!’ You can’t – it’s bone.”
– One of People’s Amazing Bodies of 2010 Jennifer Love Hewitt, on previously contemplating plastic surgery
“I’m sure I probably bought weed from him.”
– Cameron Diaz, on former high school classmate Snoop Dogg, to Playboy
“Originally I was supposed to take off my shirt. The script said we were walking into school and Willy takes off his shirt. I said, ‘Whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out. He’s gonna take off his shirt in the middle of school? No, no, no.”
– Taylor Lautner, on preventing the exploitation of his ab-tastic physique, to GQ magazine
“I asked [the director], ‘Why me? You could’ve had anyone you wanted.’ And he said, ‘You have period teeth.’”
– Jewel, on being cast in the Civil War drama Ride with the Devil because “I was the only actress in Hollywood who hadn’t gotten her teeth fixed,” to Shape magazine
“I may have conceived a baby in that crowd.”
– Conan O’Brien, on performing for the scantily dressed crowd at the Bonnaroo Music Festival, to Rolling Stone
“Robert Redford.”
- Hollywood veteran Betty White, deadpanning on what she would still like do, on The Early Show
“Anything else you would like to say, Elisabeth, because this is just getting good?”
– Kathy Griffin, sparring with Elisabeth Hasselbeck on The View
“Even I’d take a crack at that.”
– Sean Hayes, on Scarlett Johansson’s universal appeal, at the Tony Awards
Kathy Griffin wants to do for pap smears what Katie Couric has done for colonoscopies.
Griffin plans to get a pap smear while being filmed for her show “My Life on the D-List,” but will spice it up by forgoing the hospital for a poolside procedure.
She will also decorate her vagina, a la Jennifer Love Hewitt, with a bedazzler, so she’ll be vagazzled.
You can’t make this stuff up!
She’s also invited the press to come watch — From the press release:
On Friday, April 16th, she will receive this important test in hopes that every woman will see how easy it is to get this done. She will receive this test poolside at the Palomar Hotel, located at 10740 Wilshire Blvd. in Westwood by a veteran medical physician at 12pm.
This is will be taped for her hit reality show “My life on the D- List.” Kathy feels that this cause is so important that she has bedazzled her “va-jay-jay,” so it can be as ‘va-beautiful’ as it ‘va-can.’
