Kim Kardashian‘s name has been all over the place today because first of all OK! Magazine reported that she was pregnant with soon to be husband, Kris Humphries, baby but she has since denied this.
OK! have the headline “I’m Having A Baby!” on the cover of their new magazine but since this started exploding all over the internet she took to her own website to deny the reports, she writes:
This is crazy! I am NOT pregnant! Magazines can be so tricky with their wording! The inside states that one day I want a baby! But I’m not pregnant! I can foresee lots of crazy, made up stories coming out in the near future and I certainly don’t have time to shut down every rumor. But believe that if you hear it from me, it will be true. Otherwise, don’t always believe what you read, dolls.
Then in other news it’s reported that Kim and Kris, I still find it weird that her fiance’s name is the same name as her mother, will marry in just two months despite only being together for six months. Apparently they want to do it all before his basketball season starts up again so they can have a honeymoon.
Then in the last piece of news TMZ are reporting that Kim will drop the Kardashian from her name and take on Humphfries as her last name which might piss off her mother, Kris Jenner, who recently told Popeater that “I don’t think she should take his name and be Kim Humphries … She needs to be Kim Kardashian because she’s worked so hard to get where she is.”
When it comes to Chelsea Handler it seems like nobody is safe from her jokes, especially when they are hot in the news at the moment. Because of this Zimbio have come up with a list of 14 celebrities that Chelsea has gone in on.
Angelina Jolie
One of the most venomous of Chelsea’s diatribes was directed at actress Angelina Jolie. In a 2010 New Jersey standup performance, Handler ranted, “She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants to. I don’t f**king believe you … she gives interviews, ‘I don’t have a lot of female friends.’ Cause you’re a f**king c**t … you’re a f **king b**ch.”
MTV’s Teen Moms
While Chelsea hasn’t directed any disses at any of the individuals on 16 and Pregnant, she’s made it clear that she isn’t a fan of the Teen Mom phenomenon. “Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you’re a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody,” Handler told the New York Times.
Tori Spelling
Chelsea has trashed Tori Spelling innumerable times on her show, prompting Tori to joke, “I want to thank you for finding ways to say I’m ugly and stupid, week after week” at the 2009 Bravo A-List Awards. Handler responded, “I want to thank her for being able to take a joke. I’m going to try my hardest not to tell her she looks like a man anymore. It’s not nice. Even if it’s true, it’s not nice.”
Heidi Montag
Chelsea dislikes Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt so much, she won’t have them on her show. But she will make fun of them. Once, after airing a clip of Montag’s beachy music video, Chelsea exclaimed, “While I was watching this I was hoping a giant jellyfish would leap out of the ocean and sting one of her big, fake boobies!”
Kim Kardashian
Chelsea Handler shares a network with Kim Kardashian, which perhaps explains how Kim has managed to avoid too much scrutiny on Chelsea Lately. Still, she did have her brother recite the lyrics to Kim’s mega-fail single “Jam (Turn It Up)” on air, highlighting the masterful lyricism of Kim’s first musical opus.
Lindsay Lohan
In June 2010, Chelsea ran a skit about Lindsay Lohan’s family visiting the actress in prison. In the skit, Dina (played by Chelsea) spirited cocaine, cigarettes, a bottle of Belvedere and Samantha Ronson into prison using her, uh, private parts (ew). Lindsay must not have been terribly insulted, however, as she filmed a cameo for Handler’s hosting gig at the MTV VMAs just three months later. Too bad it wasn’t all that funny.
Perez Hilton
After the 2010 MTV VMAs, Perez Hilton wrote that Chelsea “didn’t really pull it off…For the most part, we were bored and just hoping she would shut the hell up so we could hear more music.” Chelsea took to Twitter to write, “Oh, f**k off. I had a blast and the show awesome last night. Bomb? Your life is a bomb.”
Jay Mohr
Sober comedian Jay Mohr tweeted in March 2010, “Just saw Chelsea Handler in the lobby of my hotel. She was so drunk she could hardly walk. I think someone has a wee bit of a problem.” Handler countered, “Jay Mohr thinks I ‘stumbled’ past him last night. There’s a big difference between stumbling by and just not interested.”
Michelle ‘Bombshell’ McGee
In the wake of Jesse James’ cheating scandal, Chelsea wrote in her blog of James’ mistress Michelle McGee: “Denny McGee said that Michelle really believed that Sandra and Jesse were separated and was “shocked” to see them together at the Oscars. I guess she doesn’t read magazines, which makes sense since she basically has one on her face.”
Kirstie Alley
In her explanation of why she’d never be on Dancing with the Stars, Chelsea told Joy Behar, “[I] can’t even watch it. I mean, obviously I had to watch when Kirstie Alley was on because I had to see what was going to happen to the floor, but I just… I can’t watch that show.”
Mariah Carey/Nick Cannon
In October 2010, Handler tweeted, “I just heard Nick Cannon is starting a comedy tour. Who’s going to do the comedy?” Cannon fired off a series of tweets in retaliation, calling Handler “ugly white trash.” The two later worked things out in person, and Cannon explained that he’d already been offended by a joke Handler had made about Nick’s wife, Mariah Carey—namely that she looked like she could be Nick’s mother.
John Mayer
Chelsea must have hit a nerve when she joked of John Mayer, “I liked him before he started talking. I liked his singing, and then he ruined it with talking. It’s just like if I started to sing, you got that d**chebag?” Mayer took to his now-defunct twitter to write, “I’m trying to figure out why Chelsea Handler has such seething hatred for me. I must remind her of someone she knows and doesn’t like.”
The Jonas Brothers
Chelsea has poked fun at the Jonas Brothers many a time, most notably with a February 2010 skit in which Taylor Swift (played by Chelsea) visited the brothers backstage before one of their shows, bragging about how she’s going to find dudes without purity rings.
Paris Hilton
In 2009, Jenny McCarthy and Chelsea Handler shared the story of an encounter with Paris Hilton at the Bravo A-List Awards. It wasn’t complimentary. Beforehand, Chelsea quipped, “I’ve actually met her before but she doesn’t know when she’s met someone before ’cause she’s so stupid.”
I’m not a big fan of Chelsea, I think she can seem quite bitter and unfunny at her jokes some times but I’m not going to lie some of these did make me laugh.
You know when you walk into a store and look at the magazine racks and every week it’s the same celebrities over and over? Well there’s a reason for that because that celebrity is the one that’s selling the most copies for the magazine. Here is a list of the top 10 selling tabloids of 2010.
10. Twilight – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 2.4 million
09. Jennifer Aniston – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 2.6 million
08. The Kardashians – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 2.7 million
07. Teen Mom – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 2.75 million
06. Lady GaGa – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 2.8 million
05. The Royal Wedding – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 3.2 million
04. Bachelor Jake – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 3.6 million
03. Angelina Jolie – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 5 million
02. Dr Oz – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 7 million
01. Sandra Bullock – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 7.4 million
None of this is surprising to me at all, I’ve been sick of all these people for the past year.
On ‘Kourtney and Kim Take New York‘, the whole family was together to help Kim Kardashian celebrate her 30th birthday. And apparently, she’s having a hard time with being so ancient.
So Kourtney Kardashian, who’s 31 and doing just fine thank you very much, decided to help Kim realize that she was still young enough to loosen up and live a little. And how does one give such pearls of wisdom to one’s younger sister?
“We are all gonna do a keg stand,” Kourtney announced to the room. “Kim is gonna do this!”
Celebrity endorsements are as profitable as they are plentiful and these days, it seems as if everyone’s in on the action. While some promotional deals are obvious fits, some leave us scratching our heads.
Even for Hollywood’s reigning queens of self-promotion, the Kardashian sisters, some products seem like ridiculous choices. Kim, Kourtney and Khloe Kardashian have moved past their prepaid credit card fiasco with grace, style and, most surprisingly of all, a line of Kardashian Silly Bandz [see above photo].
Jamie Lee Curtis for Activia
Hold your hats, TV watchers, because we’re about to drop some serious wisdom on you: At one point in time, Jamie Lee Curtis’ name was not synonymous with digestive regularity. Hard to believe, we know, but it’s true. There was a time when she was not only an actress, but Hollywood royalty, a teen slasher movie queen, and a bona fide hottie. The woman defeated Michael Myers in five separate installments of ‘Halloween,’ for gosh sake. While Activia may have provided a financial boost to her lagging career, the striptease scene in ‘True Lies’ will just never be the same.
Sofia Coppola Canned Champagne
Sofia Coppola is well-respected. Sofia Coppola is elegant. Sofia Coppola makes wine you drink with a straw? The writer-director’s father, directing legend Francis Ford Coppola, owns a popular winery from which his daughter’s eponymous beverage was born. Pluses: Cute packaging, fun idea, won’t spill while you’re jogging. Cons: Sophistication-wise, canned wine is about a half-step up from chugging Franzia right from the box.
Megan Mullally for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
Megan Mullallly is one funny woman, as evidenced by everything from guest appearances on ‘Parks and Recreation’ to her longtime role as boozy socialite Karen Walker on ‘Will and Grace.’ So why is she getting down disco-style with a tub of fake butter in the refrigerator aisle? Come on, ‘Will and Grace’ has only been off the air for five years; you couldn’t possibly have spent that money already.
Lil Jon for CRUNK Energy Drink
OK, Mr. Jon, we get it. You like to get crunk. You like to say “crunk.” You like to provide your enthusiastic hyping skills to other peoples’ songs. The thing is, we’re pretty sure pomegranate-flavored energy beverages aren’t the only things you’re sipping out of that pimp chalice you seem so fond of. Oh, and by the way, there’s already a crunk energy drink, it’s called Four Loko, and, unlike your product, it lives up to its name.
Claire Danes for Latisse
Claire Danes is serious about two things: her acting career and long eyelashes. The ‘Temple Grandin’ star and multiple Golden Globe winner, has taken a cue from another former teen star when it comes to her endorsement deals. Danes signed on as the face of Latisse, an eyelash growth product, in 2010, a job also held by Brooke Shields. Side effects include irritation, iris darkening and weirding out your fan base.
However… NOTHING beats Snoop Dogg, and his endorsement of “Blunt Magic.”
Kim grew up in a mansion, complete with a Bentley, a pool house, and all the Hollywood fixings. “We were really privileged,” she admits, settling into a booth and ordering a chopped salad. “I’m on a diet,” she says, looking glum but resolute. “I need to be. I love to eat—Kit Kats or cookies-and-cream ice cream. I need sugar like five times a day.”
“I worked out once. I gained like 10 pounds. All the papers were like, Kim’s pregnant! I ate the nuts on the street corner, the hot dogs, the street meat. It was not a joke.”
Street meat? 10 pounds? Her butt alone weighs 10 pounds.
Why does Bazaar keep defacing our precious legends like this?
Now that she has conquered the reality realm, is Kim Kardashian eyeing a jump to the big screen — as a Bond Girl?
Maybe, according to E! News. The star strutted her stuff on the red carpet at the Screen Actors Guild Awards and dished about her dreams of dazzling on the silver screen.
“I would love to be in a Bond film — a Bond Girl!” Kardashian gushed. “That would be the ultimate.”
So is she ready to leave her reality stardom behind?
“I love acting,” she said. “It’s challenging for me, and I love it.”
Kardashian is reportedly eyeing several new roles, so fans might get a chance to see the star out of her comfort area.
“There are a few offers on the table, but I definitely want to make the right decision for the right part,” she dished about her future thespian endeavors.
For the sake of Bond fans everywhere, lets hope this isn’t true.
