When most people think of comedians they usually just think of the men and most movies or comedy tours are full of male comedians, to celebrate some of the female comedians Yahoo have come up with a list of the top female comedians. Take a look at the top 10:
10. Lucille Ball “How I Love Lucy was born? We decided that instead of divorce lawyers profiting from our mistakes, we’d profit from them.”
Probably the single most influential woman figure in comedy, Ball’s long-running sitcom I Love Lucy not only forged the path for women on TV, but continues to run in syndication, holding its own against contempory television comedies that she and it undoubtedly influenced.
09. Jenny McCarthy “My philosophy of dating is to just fart right away.”
The original naughty hottie, McCarthy started on the MTV dating show, Singled Out. Her crassness, crudeness, and tomboyish tongue often stole the spotlight and not only opened doors for her career, but also for foul-mouthed female followers like Chelsea Handler.
08. Tracey Ullman “If God had intended for breasts to be seen, He wouldn’t have created large woolen pullovers.”
Regarded as the queen of sketch comedy, Ullman’s side-splitting sendups of famous men and women alike made The Tracey Ullman Show a hit in the 90′s and beyond. It also introduced the world to an animated family of five named The Simpsons.
07. Joan Rivers “I don’t excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”
The queen of the red carpet and savage wit. If women in comedy was a political office, Rivers would be the two-term president who won by a landslide. Respected by peers and audiences alike, Rivers’ witty tongue-lashings take aim at everything and everyone, including herself.
06. Roseanne Barr “Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we’ll take up, and the more we’ll have to be reckoned with.”
Barr’s success came at a time when audiences wanted it: an overweight, homely, mom-type who hid a hilarious sense of humor under her juice-stained sweats. Barr was lauded and loved for her true-to-life portrayal of supermoms everywhere, but also castigated for setting Tom Arnold loose on the world.
05. Ellen Degeneres “My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the hell she is.”
Years ago, Degeneres turned her sitcom Ellen’s demise and media-fed questions about her sexuality into her current success as TV’s first openly-gay comedy/variety talk-show host. Her throne atop daytime television remains unchallenged, and her Queen of Nice title does nothing to tarnish her hilarity.
04. Carol Burnett “We didn’t exactly starve, but we were pretty poor when I was growing up. I remember thinking, Oh gosh, if I could just make thirty dollars a month to help with the rent, that would be fabulous. So perhaps I envied performers when I heard that Bing Crosby made twenty dollars a minute.”
Along with Lucille Ball, Phyllis Diller, and Lily Tomlin, Carol Burnett is widely considered one of the fore-mothers of female comedy. The Carol Burnett Show, a long-running sketch comedy hour, sealed her fate as an American icon for women in comedy.
03. Amy Poehler “I’ve said this before, that, when you’re in school and you’re the class clown, men are really good at making fun at other people and women are really good at making fun of themselves.”
Any fan of Late Night with Conan O’Brien will tell you some of the funniest moments on the show were when sidekick Andy Richter’s angry, hyperactive “kid sister” interrupted the show with her emotional outbursts. Poehler later went on to steal scenes on Saturday Night Live, host Weekend Update, and star in her own sitcom, NBC’s Parks and Rec.
02. Phyllis Diller “You know you’re old if they have discontinued your blood type.”
To say that Phyllis Diller paved the way for zany, female comics would be like saying Michael Jordan was a pretty good basketball player. Diller’s original zaniness, wit, and personality were unlike any seen before, and her scratchy-voiced delivery of some of the most deadpan statements places her among the top originals of funny women.
01. Amy Sedaris “I always got along with all types of people – popular people as well as drug addicts.”
“Weird,” “strange,” and “offbeat” are words used to describe Sedaris and her sense of humor, but only in conjuction with “funny.” Sedaris’ books, stints on TV, and talk show appearances have only confirmed these descriptions, but it is this uniqueness along with her sense of humor that makes her so original and funny.
I would not put Jenny McCarthy on this list instead I would add Kathy Griffin and Lisa Kudrow to the list, who is your top female comedians at the moment?
Alright we all know that most celebrities have lost their virginity by now, but CelebBuzz have come up with a list of 13 celebrities that we know what age they were when they lost it because they or someone else has told us about it. Let’s take a look….
Khloe Kardashian: 14.
The reality star told the ladies at ‘The View’ that she felt “disgusted” after she lost her virginity at the young age of 14 to an older man. “I should have listened to my parents,” Khloe said, “Don’t let anyone pressure you, it’s not worth it and how I felt afterward.”
Daniel Radcliffe: 16.
According to the ‘Harry Potter’ star, he celebrated his 16th birthday (the age of consent in England) by doing the deed with a much older girlfriend.
Britney Spears: 14.
While many people think Britney lost her virginity to Justin Timberlake, Britney’s mom, Lynne Spears, revealed in a memoir that Brit lost her virginity to a football player at her high school.
Matthew Morrison: 21.
The ‘Glee’ hunk held out on losing his virginity at a young age by joining Christian groups in college at NYU. However, he eventually did the deed (before marriage!), which he called a “sweet” and “innocent” experience.
Tina Fey: 24.
She may be a confident beauty now but Tina apparently had a hard time getting guys interested in her when she was younger. “I couldn’t give [my virginity] away,” Tina said. She eventually lost her v-card to Jeff Richmond, the man who would later become her husband.
Matthew Fox: 12.
The ‘Lost’ hunk told ‘Playboy’ magazine that he had his first time with a 14-year-old gal pal. “It was absolutely terrible and awkward,” Matt said.
Lisa Kudrow: 32.
The ‘Friends’ star held out on losing her virginity until she married in 1995.
Adriana Lima: 27.
She may be the fantasy of men everywhere but this Victoria’s Secret model held out on having sex until she was married.
Kevin Jonas: 22.
The eldest JoBro had his first time on his wedding night with wife Danielle. “After we did it, I was kind of like, that’s it?” Jonas said.
Jessica Simpson: 22.
The Christian pop diva famously abstained from sex until she got married to Nick Lachey. However, just because she abstained until marriage it doesn’t mean she didn’t pick up a few tricks: ex-beau John Mayer famously called her “sexual napalm.”
Anthony Kiedis: 12.
The ‘Red Hot Chili Peppers’ frontman lost his v-card to his father’s girlfriend.
Johnny Depp: 13.
According to the ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ star, he lost his v-card to a groupie while touring with his band, The Flame.
source: When Celebs Lost Their Virginity [Celeb Buzz]
We all know that having sex for the first time is definitely not like it is in the movies, the majority of us have horror stories about losing our virginity and it seems we aren’t alone. Here are a few celebrities who have dished the dirt on their first time, some of them are open about it being awful and some try to make it seem all wonderful.
Tina Fey
Tina Fey didn’t lose her virginity till the ripe age of 24, telling David Letterman she “couldn’t give it away†and explained to Vanity Fair, “I remember bringing people over in high school to play—that’s how cool I am—that game Celebrity. That’s how I successfully remained a virgin well into my 20s, bringing gay boys over to play Celebrity.†Sounds like a normal Friday night for me!
Marilyn Manson
Marilyn Manson wrote about his first time ever (with a girl named Tina) in The Long Road Out Of Hell: “We sat down on the side of a hill. Instantly, we began making out, and within minutes I had my hand down her pants. The first thing that went through my mind was how hairy she was. Maybe she didn’t have a mother to teach her about shaving her bikini line … Just the thrill of penetration was enough to make me orgasm, and before I was even in all the way, it was over. It was literally pump and dump.”
Jerry Hall’s first time orgasming was unorthodox—and no, it wasn’t with Mick Jagger. Try her horse, Flicka. “It was really cold and there was ice on the ground,†she recalled. “I wanted to get warm so I opened my coat and lay over my horse. To get warm. It just happened. I was very lucky.†She eventually lost her v-card at age 14 to a bull rider, which is better than an actual bull, amiright?
Jaime Pressly
Jaime Pressly told Howard Stern that she lost her virginity at the age of 14, but at such a young age she complained it wasn’t a good experience as she was “too tight†and the guy she was with “never finished.†Ahh, too tight. Those were the days…
Brooke Shields
Brooke Shields apparently gave it up to Dean Cain in college, but wishes she had done it earlier than age 22. She told Health magazine: “I think I would have had sex a lot earlier! I think I would have lost my virginity earlier than I did at 22. I had the public and all this pressure, and I wish I had just gotten it over with in the beginning when it was sort of OK. I think I would have been much more in touch with myself. I think I wouldn’t have had issues with weight—I carried this protective 20 pounds [in college]. It was all connected. And to me, that’s a health regret.â€
Lisa Kudrow
Lisa Kudrow should feel right at home with Brooke and Tina Fey, as she too waited a while to have sex for the first time, holding off until she married her husband. Of her virginity, Kudrow said, “My virginity was something I had decided was very precious, something that I owned, to give away. It was an honor I was bestowing on a young man, and he had to be worthy of it.†I’m surprised she’s not a more vocal abstinence advocate, aren’t you?
Matthew Fox
Matthew Fox just dished to Playboy that he lost his virginity at age 12 to a woman who “was about two years older than me. It wasn’t her first time.†He continued: “I can actually see the event in my mind’s eye, like photographs. It was in Dubois, Wyoming, where the population sign probably says, to this day, about 1,000. It happened literally on the ground by a river while a rodeo was going on in town… It was absolutely terrible and awkward—just two f**king kids lying down and pulling our pants down.â€
Tiger Woods
Dina Gravell, a blonde with blue eyes, met Tiger when she was 17 and he was 16 in a high school accounting class in Calif. The woman, who took Tiger Woods’ virginity describes a teenage Woods as a clingy, possessive romantic who liked to write love letters. The pair dated for more than three years and even made plans to get married.
Diddy
“I tried to lose my virginity when I was seven years old. I was on top of a girl who was nine or 10, but it didn’t happen — so everybody doesn’t have to bug out. My mother and the babysitter whipped my ass, but it didn’t knock me off my mission. When I was 13, and I felt I was a porno star because I’d been watching porn for so long. In the Bronx you could get a hotel for an hour. I always had $20 or $30 to take a chick to a hotel. I’m proud to say I love sex. You might catch me in a porn store at any given moment–it ain’t nothing I’m ashamed of.”
Shia LaBeouf
“For some reason, I was trying to portray myself as a man who had done it (had sex) many times in the past. I didn’t tell the girl I was a virgin. I was all, ‘Don’t worry, babe. I’m gonna handle it tonight.’ And meanwhile I was shaking in my boots.â€He added, “Getting naked was very strange. It was the first time I’d been naked in the light, in front of a girl, with no hiding place. I remember putting a pillow underneath her because I had seen that in a porn movie…[It] put her at a weird angle, where I couldn’t get in correctly. I’m not extremely well-endowed…and clearly this wasn’t the move.”
Ashton Kutcher
This sexy hunk who’s Demi Moore’s man had a rather unpleasant first stand. Kutcher revealed to a UK-based tabloid: “It was out in the woods and it was horrible. It was a girl I’d just met who my buddy set me up with. The whole thing lasted like two seconds. It was really awkward. Two years later, I had sex with her again just to show her that the first performance was a fluke and I’d got much better.” Well, Ashton life’s all about second chances, didn’t we tell you that!
source: 14 Celebs Dish On When And How They Lost Their V-Cards [The Frisky]
We’ve got some of the best celebrity quotes from this past week, including Madonna wanting to get run over by a train, Hugh Jackman getting interrupted, and Jessica Simpson’s fear of something.
“I’d rather get run over by a train.”
– Madonna, expressing her opposition to getting married again, on “Late Show with David Letterman”
“You want to get that?”
– Hugh Jackman, addressing an audience member after a ringing cell phone interrupted his Broadway show, “A Steady Rain”
“I don’t call them birthdays. I refuse birthdays.”
– Mariah Carey, explaining why she calls the day she was born an “anniversary,” to “USA Today”
“Oprah, I’ve never done that to a black woman before.”
– Chris Rock, weave-checking the talk show host, on air
“Is this a set up?”
– Lisa Kudrow, after she was pressured into singing the “Friends” classic, “Smelly Cat,” at the Rock a Little, Feed a Lot benefit concert to benefit Feed America
“I’m old, so I need to work fast.”
– Desperate Housewives’ newest resident, Drea de Matteo, 37, on planning to have her second child sooner rather than later, to “USA Today”
“Gloves are off.”
– Michelle Obama, on lobbying for her hometown of Chicago to host the 2016 Summer Olympics, to “People”
