If you’re naked and your neighbor is looking at you through your open window, you shouldn’t call the Seattle police to bitch about it.
A Seattle man accused of peering at his young female neighbors with binoculars couldn’t help it because the women’s blinds were up, his wife says.
Police reported the man acknowledged watching the neighbor women through their uncovered windows, but the man’s wife defended him, saying the women left their blinds up and were “putting on a show” by walking around naked, the Seattle Times reported Wednesday.
Officers didn’t cite the man and told the neighbor women, whose ages were not provided, to get their blinds fixed, the newspaper said. The report noted that the women said the blinds were broken but that they would ask their landlord to make repairs.
Sounds like a plan. The good news is that the women were apparently worth looking at naked. If these were some ugly bitches, he could probably sue.
The photo is not, unless it’s a really uncanny coincidence, of the actual neighbors who called the cops. She’s just some hottie named Pamela Spice (I’m guessing: not her real name) that I found when I did a Google image search. But, hey, people need pictures to help visualize these things.
Source: “Peeping tom victims told to fix blinds” [UPI]
Presenting The 25 Funniest People in America. From Conan O’Brien to Stephen Colbert, Tina Fey to Craig Ferguson, let’s count down the names of the entertainers who make us laugh the hardest.
25. AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
Burroughs’ best-selling memoir Running with Scissors — about being raised by a nutso shrink who studies his poo and rents the back shed to a pedophile — is unbelievably disturbing. And sidesplitting. At first we felt guilty giggling at his adventures with an electroshock therapy machine, but Burroughs knows that laughter is the best antidepressant. Much better than booze, which the author struggles to kick in his equally effervescent follow-up, Dry.
24. CATHERINE O’HARA
After her run on SCTV in the late ’70s, Hollywood didn’t know what to do with O’Hara. Fortunately, Christopher Guest did. In Waiting for Guffman, she and Fred Willard are tracksuit-wearing answers to Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire; in Best in Show, she’s a onetime floozy with a prize terrier and a torrid past; and in A Mighty Wind, O’Hara shows off a subtler comic touch, proving that humor doesn’t always mean a pie in the face.
23. SARAH SILVERMAN
The Lenny Bruce of the 21st century might be this hot, foul-mouthed, button-punching stand-up. Silverman is ruthlessly funny about topics like sex, the Holocaust, and 9/11, which may be why The Sarah Silverman Program has a permanent slot on our DVR. Oh, and if you hadn’t heard, she’s f—ing Matt Damon.
22. DAVE CHAPPELLE
The fact that Diamond Dave is all but absent from the comedic stage these days doesn’t invalidate his funny. After all, Chappelle’s revered Comedy Central show — on which the wiry comic gleefully engaged in crass T&A humor, swore like a sailor, and mocked everyone in the multiculti rainbow, confronting race in a way that is positively Pryor-esque — is still the best sketch comedy this country has seen in more than a decade. For that alone, he deserves a spot on any list like this.
21. DEMETRI MARTIN
You know what’s funny? Palindromes and anagrams. ”Shut up, Grandma,” you say, but we say shut up yourself and watch Demetri Martin work a stand-up mic. ”A drunk driver’s very dangerous. Everybody knows that. But so is a drunk backseat driver — if he’s persuasive.” The floppy-haired heir to Steven Wright won a prestigious award at last year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe, taking him from the comedy underground to…the comedy slightly less underground.
20. DIABLO CODY
Not to be partial, but the newly minted Oscar winner showed off her comedic — and emotional — chops with her debut screenplay for Juno. Did we mention it won an Oscar?
19. CRAIG FERGUSON
Late night is the province of the mono-name. Jay! Dave! Conan! Then there’s that Scottish guy, two-name ID required: Craig Ferguson. You know, the one who can’t quite be pinned down. Since taking over CBS’ Late Late Show from Craig Kilborn in 2005, Ferguson has brought a fresh burst of energy to the format. He’s reinvented the opening monologue, doing away with most of the topical jokes and just ad-libbing about his life. Along with fresh energy, he’s brought something else — ratings. Ferguson, 45 and a brand-spanking-new U.S. Citizen, doesn’t get as much media attention as time-slot competitors Jimmy Kimmel or Conan, but with an audience of just under 2 million, the great Scot outperforms the former and has climbed within 500,000 viewers of the latter.
18. JACK BLACK
Black is an entirely new classification of human: the frenetic slacker. Before his turn as doofus band reject/inspirational teacher Dewey Finn in School of Rock, he was the Ritalin-deprived half of Tenacious D (along with his partner, Kyle Gass) and the list-obsessed record-shop shlub in High Fidelity. He is, inarguably, the coolest fusion of music and comedy since Spinal Tap. (And, if Tropic Thunder is as good as we’ve been led to believe, we’ll forgive him that whole Nacho Libre business.)
17. DAVID LETTERMAN
With a receding hairline and a jogger’s grim jowls, Dave is no one’s idea of a hip comic, and he likes it that way. New-school gone old-school, the upstart who first pumped irony into the talk show still rails against the stupidity of the powerful and yet has the charm to melt Julia Roberts.
16. AMY SEDARIS AND DAVID SEDARIS
Big brother is the best-selling author of the sublime autobiographical essay collections Me Talk Pretty One Day and Naked, full of terrific riffs about stuff like his cuckoo-clock North Carolina clan and his midget guitar teacher. Little sis was the rubber-faced star of Comedy Central’s truly strange Strangers With Candy, as well as coauthor of the book Wigfield.
15. WILL FERRELL
See, there’s this man-child who latches onto Will Ferrell in most every role he plays — and good luck getting the little guy to let go. As a result, we are treated to inspired displays of dolt-trapped-in-the-headlights hijinks, be it in the form of Old School’s keghead Frank the Tank (who goes from repressed to regressed to undressed) or Talladega Nights’ Ricky Bobby, the dumbest, most earnest NASCAR driver on the circuit — who’s also the most comfortable with his sexuality.
14. RICKY GERVAIS
Okay, so he doesn’t spend all that much of his time in America. We don’t care. Whether as the creator of The Office and Extras, a supporting actor in movies like For Your Consideration or Night at the Museum, or doing killer stand-up (as seen most recently in Grand Theft Auto IV), he’s still as funny as the dog’s bollocks.
13. ELLEN DEGENERES
DeGeneres, whose career seemed all but kaput a few years ago, has earned back adoration simply by being her affably dry self on the Emmy-winning The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Whether it’s her circuitous monologues, her deadpan celebrity interviews, or that vocal turn as Dory in Finding Nemo, she remains one of the cleanest, coolest funny ladies around.
12. DAVID CROSS
All conversations about his genius start here: Along with Bob Odenkirk, he created the cunning HBO sketch series Mr. Show, which routinely put SNL to silly shame. And not only does Cross work little miracles in supporting roles (remember his role as feckless freak-job Tobias on Fox’s Arrested Development?), he can drop some pretty fearsome stand-up (who else talks about being raped by the Virgin Mary?). Simply put, this dude never kowtows for his funny.
11. CONAN O’BRIEN
Smarty-pants isn’t usually a compliment, but O’Brien wears them so well. When this Harvard geek isn’t riffing on Muammar Gaddafi in his monologue, he’s making absurd innovations in low-brow comedy. Now, let’s see if those absurd innovations will play on The Tonight Show….
The Saturday Night Live scene-stealer has found her stride in her third season, thanks to breakout characters like the Target clerk and the obsessively competitive Penelope, as well as spot-on impressions of Jamie Lee Curtis and Suze Orman.
9. LARRY DAVID
Because he’s a balding, neurotic, self-consumed, multimillionaire malcontent who reacts to most social interactions as if he just took a whiff of some really bad cheese. Because the only thing he hates more than these situations is himself. Because he’s the most hilariously doomed white-guy antihero we’ve ever seen, and has no problems taking on every sacred cow. Because we have no idea how much of this Larry David — from the HBO comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm — is swiped from the real Larry David. And because both Larry Davids co-created one of the best comedies ever, Seinfeld.
8. AMY POEHLER AND WILL ARNETT
The funniest married couple on the list. (Sorry, Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann.) When they’re apart (she, on Saturday Night Live and in Baby Mama; he, late of Arrested Development and currently guesting on 30 Rock), they’re great. But when they’re together, as when they played brother-and sister figure skaters in Blades of Glory, they’re resplendent. So let’s get those crazy kids together more often, shall we?
7. MATT STONE AND TREY PARKER
Now in their eleventh season of South Park, these potty mouths with a purpose continue to remind us what full creative control gets you: moments so wrong, they’re right (Ben Affleck falling in love with Cartman’s hand comes to mind). Added bonus: The ninth season episode, ”Trapped in the Closet” contains the most sober explanation of the background of Scientology you’ll ever hear.
6. CHRIS ROCK
Television failed him (Saturday Night Live didn’t know what to do with his bright-bulb humor, and his HBO talk show couldn’t contain him). The movies didn’t get him (though this is as much Rock’s fault as anyone’s, given he wrote and directed his most recent starring vehicles, the underperforming Head of State and I Think I Love My Wife). But on the stage, Rock is a man on a mission, mercilessly tackling race, religion, money, and relationships. And his missionaries are legion.
5. STEVE CARELL
Sometimes, it hurts so good. The pain, the discomfort, the agony of watching Carell’s Michael Scott work himself into another awkward scenario on NBC’s The Office…and almost work himself out. And the fact that we don’t hate Michael — on the contrary, we feel a warm, chocolatey pity for him — is a testament to Carell, who leavens the bald incompetence with wide-eyed awe.
4. JON STEWART AND THE ‘DAILY SHOW’ TEAM
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is the most consistent laugh machine on TV — and the only news source for scores of cynics and slackers. It’s not often that a comedy show can tackle politics, embrace a cogent point of view, and still maintain its anarchic spark. The scribes at The Daily Show pull it off four nights a week. As the heart and soul of the show, Stewart is evenhanded but never meek; as an interviewer, he can make his guests comfortable even as he’s taking them apart. Then there’s his gang of ”correspondents,” who soldier straight-facedly into the great American absurd and take no prisoners. Empirically speaking, there’s nothing funny about what’s going on in the world right now. Yet here we are each week, chortling.
3. TINA FEY
It takes a certain self-confidence to play a woman who accidentally dates her third cousin, erroneously assumes her neighbor is a terrorist, and gets called the C-word by a colleague (especially when said character is based on you). ”I love going to those uncomfortable places,” says Fey, who stars as 30 Rock’s workaholic TV maven and is also the NBC show’s creator and exec producer. ”I’ll go down any weird avenue.” Maybe this year’s surprise Emmy win for best comedy will empower Fey to pursue some dreams for her alter ego. ”Liz Lemon could do an international adoption for a Russian baby and get the paperwork wrong with the European dates and somehow end up with a huge, muscular 13-year-old. Yeah, I could see that.” Hopefully we will too.
2. STEPHEN COLBERT AND THE ‘COLBERT REPORT’ TEAM
The once (and, we’re sure, future) presidential nominee, author, and dedicated windbag also happens to be one of the smartest satirists working today. Heck, if all the dude had on his resume was the legendary 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner, he’d go down in comedy history. But week-in and week-out, Colbert takes aim at the political-industrial complex — and I don’t care if there’s no such term — and spins the facts into truth. Or truthiness. Whichever’s easier.
1. THE JUDD APATOW POSSE
Can you even remember what movie comedy looked like before writer-director-producer Judd Apatow and his ever-expanding comedy clan (including Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Jonah Hill, and Paul Rudd) came along last summer with two stiff shots of cathartic humor — the oops-she’s-preggers romp Knocked Up and the high school raunchfest Superbad? Today, when studio execs have a comedy that feels flat or formulaic, the call goes out to ”Judd it up” — sweet irony for a man once best known for critically beloved flops like TV’s Freaks and Geeks. ”It was always my dream to become a verb,” Apatow deadpans. ”That’s what I wrote in my high school yearbook.”
This story is just so disturbing, I had to post it.
A 78-year-old man is tossed like a rag doll by a hit-and-run driver and lies motionless on a busy city street as car after car goes by.
Nobody did anything to help him!!
Pedestrians gawk but do nothing. One driver stops briefly but then pulls back into traffic. A man on a scooter slowly circles the victim before zipping away.
The chilling scene - captured on video by a streetlight surveillance camera - has touched off a round of soul-searching in Hartford, with the capital city’s biggest newspaper blaring “SO INHUMANE” on the front page and the police chief lamenting: “We no longer have a moral compass.”
“We have no regard for each other,” said Chief Daryl Roberts, who released the video this week in hopes of making an arrest in the daylight accident last Friday that left Angel Arce Torres in critical condition.
The hit-and-run took place about 5:45 p.m. in a working-class neighborhood close to downtown in this city of 125,000.
In the video, Torres walks in the two-way street just blocks from the state Capitol after buying milk at a grocery. A tan Toyota and a dark Honda that is apparently chasing it cross the center line, and Torres is struck by the Honda. Both cars then dart down a side street.
You know, it’s bad enough that two apparent imbeciles were racing on the wrong side of the street, which resulted in hitting an elderly man, and then fled the scene. Yes, that’s horrible.
The worst part, however, is that NOBODY DID ANYTHING TO HELP HIM, ONLY GAWKED!
Rob Lowe’s former nanny filed a lawsuit Monday claiming the actor repeatedly exposed himself and inappropriately touched her.
Jessica Gibson, 24, worked for Lowe and his wife, Sheryl, off and on for seven years, according to an 18-page document filed Monday in a Santa Barbara, Calif. court. Gibson quit on Feb. 24.
Lowe, 44, the lawsuit further alleges, “placed his hand inside Gibson’s pants” several times from about Sept. 2005 to around Jan. 2008. The actor also allegedly grabbed her buttocks without her consent around Dec. 2007, according to the filing.
In a statement read on Tuesday’s Today show – while Gibson was being interviewed with her attorney Gloria Allred – the Lowes’ attorney, Stanton “Larry” Stein, said: “Ms. Gibson’s older sister worked for the Lowes for 7 years. Ms. Gibson worked for the Lowes on and off for 7 years. She left at least 2 times, to pursue other jobs, and returned each time asking for more hours. She sent 2 emails the day after she left, both saying she loved the Lowes and her leaving had nothing to do with them but her heart wasn’t into being a nanny anymore.
“This is totally inconsistent with her latest allegations,” Stein added. “An investigation of dozens of present and former employees has failed to find one single person to verify her allegations. The allegations in the complaint are simply untrue.”
Allred then replied: “We don’t think so.”
Asked why she returned to work in the household, Gibson answered, “I love the children. I needed the job. I thought it would get better, and I was scared.”
In her legal papers, Gibson also made harassment claims against Sheryl, 46, claiming Lowe’s wife would walk around the house naked, make vulgar comments, and would discuss her sex life with Lowe to the nanny.
“This is a classic he said/she said dispute,” says Patrick Fraioli, an L.A. employment attorney, who’s not involved in the case. “If Rob Lowe is without fault, he’s got reason to fight to the bitter end – but in a trial, both sides will likely be dragged through the mud.”
On April 7, the Brothers & Sisters star wrote on the Huffington Post that “a former employee is demanding my wife, Sheryl, and I pay her 1.5 million dollars by the end of the week or she will accuse us both of a vicious laundry list of false terribles.”
Later that day, Lowe preemptively filed a lawsuit against Gibson, along with two other former employees, for breach of confidentiality agreements and spreading lies about the couple.
A hearing date has yet to be set. Allred said on Today that she is “looking forward to litigation.”
So the nanny wasn’t smart enough to use her cell phone to record Lowe sticking his hand down her pants? The dumb broad — she could have been shopping a sex tape.
What Others said:
Dlisted says, “First of all, is there only one f#cking lawyer in this country?”
The Superficial says, “Though somewhere in the middle is probably the truth which is that Rob Lowe touched himself and invited the nanny to watch - along with the neighbors, some Shriners and his Brothers & Sisters costar Sally Field, who would’ve loved to stopped by, but never knows what to bring to these things. A deli tray or is this more of a light dessert affair?”
Girls Talkin Smack says, “Lies lies, everywhere lies. Well you know with this one, the truth will definitely come out. It’s just a matter of WHEN.”
source: Former Nanny: Rob Lowe Exposed Himself to Me [people]
At this new much of the world’s population weeps. After giving birth to son Max, Christina Aguilera proudly sported her mommy knockers. Even Ellen was enamored with Christina’s boobs.
Alas, all good things must come to an end. The new mother has been making every effort to shed the baby weight. She has hit the boxing ring and the swimming pool in effort to regain her former physical stature. Even her baby-daddy joined her in the pool. Neighbors have been bitching about his skinny dipping adventures and noise.
“They don’t just splash around – they laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises. We’re happy that they’re happy, but we wish they would keep it down a bit. There are a lot of old people who live around here, and they don’t like noise after the dinner hour.”
Sexy noises!?! I can only imagine what their sexy noises are. I am sure it something similar to the sound a plunger makes in cartoons.
For some reason I find this creepy. Being a female I should be all over this. Yet somehow the idea of Woody Harrelson climbing the side of cliff nude just doesn’t do it for me.
Cheers on the testicular fortitude of risking some very unpleasant road rash in effort to climb out of the water. Thank the speedo gods that Owen Wilson chose to cover his pasty white parts with a pair of modest trunks.
But, who am I to judge? Nothing wrong with skinny dipping with your man pal. I chunky dunking with my neighbors all the time.
Critics are saying Jay Leno crossed the line when he interviewed Stop-Loss star Ryan Phillippe Thursday night.
[For those of you that don't want to watch the whole thing -- it all starts at approximately 2:00 minutes in]
Leno was chatting with Phillippe about his first role as a gay teen on the soap One Life to Live when he asked,
“Can you give me, like – say that camera is your gay lover… Can you give me your ‘gayest look?’
Say that camera is Billy Bob – Billy Bob has just ridden in shirtless from Wyoming,”
Needless to say, Phillippe grew quite uncomfortable.
“Wow! That is so something I don’t want to do.”
Phillippe’s acting career began with an appearance in ABC daytime drama One Life to Live. His character Billy Douglas, whom he played from 1992 to 1993, was the first gay teenager in a daily soap opera, causing a stir.
GLAAD issued this statement today,
“We are proud of Ryan for refusing to participate in Leno’s thoughtless attempt at humor.
Under the guise of comedy, the talk-show host is demonstrating a lack of respect for the gay community and insensitivity to both his co-workers and the audience, to whom he owes an apology.”
What others said:
Dlisted says, “If Jay cared so much about seeing Ryan’s “gay face” he should have just rented “54.” There’s Phillipe gay face galore!”
A Socialites Life says, “I’m guessing Leno wanted Ryan to make his “gayest look” towards him. And follow it up with some Astroglide. Jay strikes me as one of those guys who’s watching the next-door neighbor’s son mow the lawn shirtless next door and playing with himself from behind the blinds.”
TMZ says, “Unfortunately, Leno has yet to apologize for 16 years of unfunny opening monologues.”
Steve-O was, according to a source, breaking holes in the walls of his L.A. apartment building when one of his neighbors dropped a dime on him, and even made a citizen’s arrest, holding Steve-O until the LAPD arrived, and took him away.
We’re told he’s at the LAPD’s Hollywood station waiting to be booked on vandalism charges.
Jessica Gibson, 24, worked for Lowe and his wife, Sheryl, off and on for seven years, according to an 18-page document filed Monday in a Santa Barbara, Calif. court. Gibson quit on Feb. 24.
“They don’t just splash around – they laugh, scream, swear and make sexy noises. We’re happy that they’re happy, but we wish they would keep it down a bit. There are a lot of old people who live around here, and they don’t like noise after the dinner hour.”
“Can you give me, like – say that camera is your gay lover… Can you give me your ‘gayest look?’
Steve-O was, according to a source, breaking holes in the walls of his L.A. apartment building when one of his neighbors dropped a dime on him, and even made a citizen’s arrest, holding Steve-O until the LAPD arrived, and took him away. 
