The last time that rumors starting flying around that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were expecting a baby everybody thought the world was going to end. Well buckle up and hold on to your seats because here we go again.
Page Six are reporting that Suri Cruise could soon have a little alien brother or sister on the way because Katie is going undergoing intense “auditing,” yes I said auditing.
It seems that the Scientolgists don’t just have sex and have a baby, instead the mother of the child must be audited before she is allowed to carry a child.
A source said, “This is exactly what happened just before she got pregnant with Suri. Tom has made no secret of the fact that he would like another baby. It is almost as if she is being prepared for it. Scientologists believe the health and the sanity of the child begin long before birth.”
If the mother of child has to be audited before even getting pregnant, I really dread to think what she must go through to actually get pregnant and then during the whole 9 months of pregnancy.
If indeed Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are going to have a second baby, I hope you get ready for the world to explode.
source: Another Spawn of TomKat Might Land On Earth Soon [Dlisted]
Haggis left the cult-like religion after he wrote a letter to its spokesman, Tommy Davis, for its support of Proposition 8. The letter asked Davis to denounce the religion’s support of the anti-gay marriage legislation. To which, Haggis said that Davis said he would, but never lived up to his promise.
When Davis declined to publish a letter to that effect, Haggis said, “Silence is consent, Tommy. I refuse to consent.”
He fired off a letter to Davis that said he could no longer sit back and watch as the religion supported the abuse of any group’s civil rights.
He said:
But I reached a point several weeks ago where I no longer knew what to think. You had allowed our name to be allied with the worst elements of the Christian Right. In order to contain a potential “PR flap” you allowed our sponsorship of Proposition 8 to stand. Despite all the church’s words about promoting freedom and human rights, its name is now in the public record alongside those who promote bigotry and intolerance, homophobia and fear.
He also touched on the religion’s use of their policy of disconnect, when a person leaves their group. He said that even though Davis said that no such policy existed, it happened to his wife, recently. She was told that once her parents left the religion, that she should disconnect contact from them, to which she did.
He added, “For a year and a half, despite her protestations, my wife did not speak to her parents and they had limited access to their grandchild. It was a terrible time. That’s not ancient history, Tommy. It was a year ago.”
Tom Cruise appeared on NBC’s Morning show today and publicly apologized to host Matt Lauer after calling him “glib” back in 2004.
The pair who had a fight back in 2004 on air over Tom criticizing Brooke Shields for taking anti-depressants seemed to let the past be the past.
On the infamous interview Tom said “I thought about it a lot. It was a subject matter that was important. And now it’s being debated in the public, which it should be. But looking at it, it’s not what I had intended. It came across as arrogant. That’s one of those things I could have handled better.. It’s not the person I am… I learned a lesson. I learned a really good lesson.”
I didn’t think I would see the day when Tom Cruise apologized on television.
Police detained the guard for questioning but said that a surveillance tape at the facility backed his claim that he fired his semiautomatic handgun to protect himself and two colleagues.
“The evidence is very clear the security officers were defending their safety,” said Deputy Chief Terry S. Hara of the Los Angeles Police Department.
Police did not release the name of the guard or the man killed in the shooting, which occurred about noon. An investigator said the man had a history with the church but was not a member now. The tape showed the man arriving at the Celebrity Centre’s Bronson Avenue parking lot in a red convertible, getting out of the vehicle and approaching a trio of security guards and waving a sword in each hand, Hara said.
He said the man, who was described as being in his 40s, was “close enough to hurt them” when the guard fired. The man was taken to County-USC Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead.
The Church of Scientology wants Amy Winehouse because they believe they can help her get on the “straight and narrow”.
According to the Mirror, the troubled singer has told friend she recieved “welcoming phone call from the religious sect’s celebrity centre” in Los Angeles.
Apparently the Scientologists recommended their Narconon drugs program, which they claim has helped hundreds of addicts kick their habits.
Treatment is in three stages. First, the addict is given vitamin cocktails. Second is a series of saunas and a “detox diet”. Finally, they have to work their way through a series of Scientology self-help books.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I really don’t see Winehouse doing any of that.
source: Scientologists call Amy Winehouse to offer their help [mirror]
Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise hit the red carpet for previews of “All My Sons” on Broadway yesterday and was welcomed by a few friends!
Around 20 members of the anti-Scientology group, Anonymous, protested outside of the theater. Some of them wore “V for Vendetta” masks while shouting “SAVE KATIE!”
Tom Cruise is named in a $250 million federal lawsuit that is using the RICO statute against the Church of Scientology.
Ex-Scientologist Peter Letterese, a longtime critic of the church, filed suit in Southern District Court in Florida on July 15 alleging, among other things, that members of the church harassed him after he left.
In court papers provided to The News by investigator Paul Barresi, Letterese claims a member of the church phoned his lawyer at home, and when the lawyer’s wife answered, said he was her husband’s homosexual lover.
Barresi, who has done investigative work on behalf of Cruise, tells us: “[Letterese] is just including a celebrity name to get attention.”
Letterese calls the church a “crime syndicate” and wants it broken up under the Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organization law, just as the feds have broken up Mafia families.
He singles out Cruise, who’s made no secret of his religion, saying that Scientology head David Miscavage is “aided and abetted by the actions of Tom Cruise, his right-hand man for foreign and domestic promotion, as well as for foreign and domestic lobbying. He has assisted the syndicate in acquiring funds and [made] his own donations of money believed to be in the multiple tens of millions of dollars.”
One of Letterese’s beefs is that the church allegedly uses a business book, “Effective Sales Closing Techniques,” as part of its teachings. He says this violates his intellectual property rights, since he bought the rights to the book from the widow of author Leslie Dane.
Cruise’s lawyer, Bert Fields, did not respond to an e-mail requesting comment.
source: Lawsuit goes after Tom Cruise, church [ny daily news]
Katie Holmes has been wearing gloves and long sleeve shirts with the sleeves pulled down over her hands, in order to cover their freakish purple coloration.
It’s rumored that Katie may have taken part in a Scientology purification ritual that caused her hands to turn purple.
According to reports, the purification ritual is called the Purification Rundown or Purif, which is the process of taking ‘vitamin bombs’ to get ‘toxins’ out of their bodies.
It’s reported that in almost every single case, Scientology founder Hubbard recommends dosages in his teachings that are well above the safe limits, in some cases as much as 142 times more than the toxic level. The side effects of such huge overdoses range from liver damage, hair loss, brain swelling and nausea up to fatal heart and respiratory failure.
The cleanse also prescribes huge doses of niacin. Large doses of niacin can cause liver damage, peptic ulcers, and skin rashes. Even normal doses can be associated with skin flushing.
Are they trying to kill her?
More info on the Scientology Purification Rundown Program
The Scientologists themselves describe the Scientology Purification Rundown Procedure.
Scientologists are 100% drug-free and are very concerned about the devastation caused by drug use in their communities. The reason for this remarkable statistic is that Scientology churches and missions have a very effective program that handles the effects of past drug use. A key component of this program is the Scientology Purification Rundown. This rundown is the result of many years of research by the founder of the Scientology religion, L. Ron Hubbard.
[...]
L. Ron Hubbard found that there was a “drug personality,” an artificial personality created by drugs.
[...]
Mr. Hubbard noted that Scientology parishioners who had been exposed to environmental pollutants and radiation were manifesting similar emotional, mental and spiritual difficulties to those who were drug takers. This too would have to be solved, to accomplish the goals of the Scientology religion.
Oddly, the site is circular, taking readers through a loop of links that provide no information.
David Hogg, M.D. attempts to debunk Purim with his “CRITICAL ANALYSIS OF THE PURIFICATION RUNDOWN.”
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Presenting The 25 Funniest People in America. From Conan O’Brien to Stephen Colbert, Tina Fey to Craig Ferguson, let’s count down the names of the entertainers who make us laugh the hardest.
25. AUGUSTEN BURROUGHS
Burroughs’ best-selling memoir Running with Scissors — about being raised by a nutso shrink who studies his poo and rents the back shed to a pedophile — is unbelievably disturbing. And sidesplitting. At first we felt guilty giggling at his adventures with an electroshock therapy machine, but Burroughs knows that laughter is the best antidepressant. Much better than booze, which the author struggles to kick in his equally effervescent follow-up, Dry.
24. CATHERINE O’HARA
After her run on SCTV in the late ’70s, Hollywood didn’t know what to do with O’Hara. Fortunately, Christopher Guest did. In Waiting for Guffman, she and Fred Willard are tracksuit-wearing answers to Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire; in Best in Show, she’s a onetime floozy with a prize terrier and a torrid past; and in A Mighty Wind, O’Hara shows off a subtler comic touch, proving that humor doesn’t always mean a pie in the face.
23. SARAH SILVERMAN
The Lenny Bruce of the 21st century might be this hot, foul-mouthed, button-punching stand-up. Silverman is ruthlessly funny about topics like sex, the Holocaust, and 9/11, which may be why The Sarah Silverman Program has a permanent slot on our DVR. Oh, and if you hadn’t heard, she’s f—ing Matt Damon.
22. DAVE CHAPPELLE
The fact that Diamond Dave is all but absent from the comedic stage these days doesn’t invalidate his funny. After all, Chappelle’s revered Comedy Central show — on which the wiry comic gleefully engaged in crass T&A humor, swore like a sailor, and mocked everyone in the multiculti rainbow, confronting race in a way that is positively Pryor-esque — is still the best sketch comedy this country has seen in more than a decade. For that alone, he deserves a spot on any list like this.
21. DEMETRI MARTIN
You know what’s funny? Palindromes and anagrams. ”Shut up, Grandma,” you say, but we say shut up yourself and watch Demetri Martin work a stand-up mic. ”A drunk driver’s very dangerous. Everybody knows that. But so is a drunk backseat driver — if he’s persuasive.” The floppy-haired heir to Steven Wright won a prestigious award at last year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe, taking him from the comedy underground to…the comedy slightly less underground.
20. DIABLO CODY
Not to be partial, but the newly minted Oscar winner showed off her comedic — and emotional — chops with her debut screenplay for Juno. Did we mention it won an Oscar?
19. CRAIG FERGUSON
Late night is the province of the mono-name. Jay! Dave! Conan! Then there’s that Scottish guy, two-name ID required: Craig Ferguson. You know, the one who can’t quite be pinned down. Since taking over CBS’ Late Late Show from Craig Kilborn in 2005, Ferguson has brought a fresh burst of energy to the format. He’s reinvented the opening monologue, doing away with most of the topical jokes and just ad-libbing about his life. Along with fresh energy, he’s brought something else — ratings. Ferguson, 45 and a brand-spanking-new U.S. Citizen, doesn’t get as much media attention as time-slot competitors Jimmy Kimmel or Conan, but with an audience of just under 2 million, the great Scot outperforms the former and has climbed within 500,000 viewers of the latter.
18. JACK BLACK
Black is an entirely new classification of human: the frenetic slacker. Before his turn as doofus band reject/inspirational teacher Dewey Finn in School of Rock, he was the Ritalin-deprived half of Tenacious D (along with his partner, Kyle Gass) and the list-obsessed record-shop shlub in High Fidelity. He is, inarguably, the coolest fusion of music and comedy since Spinal Tap. (And, if Tropic Thunder is as good as we’ve been led to believe, we’ll forgive him that whole Nacho Libre business.)
17. DAVID LETTERMAN
With a receding hairline and a jogger’s grim jowls, Dave is no one’s idea of a hip comic, and he likes it that way. New-school gone old-school, the upstart who first pumped irony into the talk show still rails against the stupidity of the powerful and yet has the charm to melt Julia Roberts.
16. AMY SEDARIS AND DAVID SEDARIS
Big brother is the best-selling author of the sublime autobiographical essay collections Me Talk Pretty One Day and Naked, full of terrific riffs about stuff like his cuckoo-clock North Carolina clan and his midget guitar teacher. Little sis was the rubber-faced star of Comedy Central’s truly strange Strangers With Candy, as well as coauthor of the book Wigfield.
15. WILL FERRELL
See, there’s this man-child who latches onto Will Ferrell in most every role he plays — and good luck getting the little guy to let go. As a result, we are treated to inspired displays of dolt-trapped-in-the-headlights hijinks, be it in the form of Old School’s keghead Frank the Tank (who goes from repressed to regressed to undressed) or Talladega Nights’ Ricky Bobby, the dumbest, most earnest NASCAR driver on the circuit — who’s also the most comfortable with his sexuality.
14. RICKY GERVAIS
Okay, so he doesn’t spend all that much of his time in America. We don’t care. Whether as the creator of The Office and Extras, a supporting actor in movies like For Your Consideration or Night at the Museum, or doing killer stand-up (as seen most recently in Grand Theft Auto IV), he’s still as funny as the dog’s bollocks.
13. ELLEN DEGENERES
DeGeneres, whose career seemed all but kaput a few years ago, has earned back adoration simply by being her affably dry self on the Emmy-winning The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Whether it’s her circuitous monologues, her deadpan celebrity interviews, or that vocal turn as Dory in Finding Nemo, she remains one of the cleanest, coolest funny ladies around.
12. DAVID CROSS
All conversations about his genius start here: Along with Bob Odenkirk, he created the cunning HBO sketch series Mr. Show, which routinely put SNL to silly shame. And not only does Cross work little miracles in supporting roles (remember his role as feckless freak-job Tobias on Fox’s Arrested Development?), he can drop some pretty fearsome stand-up (who else talks about being raped by the Virgin Mary?). Simply put, this dude never kowtows for his funny.
11. CONAN O’BRIEN
Smarty-pants isn’t usually a compliment, but O’Brien wears them so well. When this Harvard geek isn’t riffing on Muammar Gaddafi in his monologue, he’s making absurd innovations in low-brow comedy. Now, let’s see if those absurd innovations will play on The Tonight Show….
The Saturday Night Live scene-stealer has found her stride in her third season, thanks to breakout characters like the Target clerk and the obsessively competitive Penelope, as well as spot-on impressions of Jamie Lee Curtis and Suze Orman.
9. LARRY DAVID
Because he’s a balding, neurotic, self-consumed, multimillionaire malcontent who reacts to most social interactions as if he just took a whiff of some really bad cheese. Because the only thing he hates more than these situations is himself. Because he’s the most hilariously doomed white-guy antihero we’ve ever seen, and has no problems taking on every sacred cow. Because we have no idea how much of this Larry David — from the HBO comedy Curb Your Enthusiasm — is swiped from the real Larry David. And because both Larry Davids co-created one of the best comedies ever, Seinfeld.
8. AMY POEHLER AND WILL ARNETT
The funniest married couple on the list. (Sorry, Judd Apatow and Leslie Mann.) When they’re apart (she, on Saturday Night Live and in Baby Mama; he, late of Arrested Development and currently guesting on 30 Rock), they’re great. But when they’re together, as when they played brother-and sister figure skaters in Blades of Glory, they’re resplendent. So let’s get those crazy kids together more often, shall we?
7. MATT STONE AND TREY PARKER
Now in their eleventh season of South Park, these potty mouths with a purpose continue to remind us what full creative control gets you: moments so wrong, they’re right (Ben Affleck falling in love with Cartman’s hand comes to mind). Added bonus: The ninth season episode, ”Trapped in the Closet” contains the most sober explanation of the background of Scientology you’ll ever hear.
6. CHRIS ROCK
Television failed him (Saturday Night Live didn’t know what to do with his bright-bulb humor, and his HBO talk show couldn’t contain him). The movies didn’t get him (though this is as much Rock’s fault as anyone’s, given he wrote and directed his most recent starring vehicles, the underperforming Head of State and I Think I Love My Wife). But on the stage, Rock is a man on a mission, mercilessly tackling race, religion, money, and relationships. And his missionaries are legion.
5. STEVE CARELL
Sometimes, it hurts so good. The pain, the discomfort, the agony of watching Carell’s Michael Scott work himself into another awkward scenario on NBC’s The Office…and almost work himself out. And the fact that we don’t hate Michael — on the contrary, we feel a warm, chocolatey pity for him — is a testament to Carell, who leavens the bald incompetence with wide-eyed awe.
4. JON STEWART AND THE ‘DAILY SHOW’ TEAM
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart is the most consistent laugh machine on TV — and the only news source for scores of cynics and slackers. It’s not often that a comedy show can tackle politics, embrace a cogent point of view, and still maintain its anarchic spark. The scribes at The Daily Show pull it off four nights a week. As the heart and soul of the show, Stewart is evenhanded but never meek; as an interviewer, he can make his guests comfortable even as he’s taking them apart. Then there’s his gang of ”correspondents,” who soldier straight-facedly into the great American absurd and take no prisoners. Empirically speaking, there’s nothing funny about what’s going on in the world right now. Yet here we are each week, chortling.
3. TINA FEY
It takes a certain self-confidence to play a woman who accidentally dates her third cousin, erroneously assumes her neighbor is a terrorist, and gets called the C-word by a colleague (especially when said character is based on you). ”I love going to those uncomfortable places,” says Fey, who stars as 30 Rock’s workaholic TV maven and is also the NBC show’s creator and exec producer. ”I’ll go down any weird avenue.” Maybe this year’s surprise Emmy win for best comedy will empower Fey to pursue some dreams for her alter ego. ”Liz Lemon could do an international adoption for a Russian baby and get the paperwork wrong with the European dates and somehow end up with a huge, muscular 13-year-old. Yeah, I could see that.” Hopefully we will too.
2. STEPHEN COLBERT AND THE ‘COLBERT REPORT’ TEAM
The once (and, we’re sure, future) presidential nominee, author, and dedicated windbag also happens to be one of the smartest satirists working today. Heck, if all the dude had on his resume was the legendary 2006 White House Correspondents Dinner, he’d go down in comedy history. But week-in and week-out, Colbert takes aim at the political-industrial complex — and I don’t care if there’s no such term — and spins the facts into truth. Or truthiness. Whichever’s easier.
1. THE JUDD APATOW POSSE
Can you even remember what movie comedy looked like before writer-director-producer Judd Apatow and his ever-expanding comedy clan (including Seth Rogen, Leslie Mann, Jonah Hill, and Paul Rudd) came along last summer with two stiff shots of cathartic humor — the oops-she’s-preggers romp Knocked Up and the high school raunchfest Superbad? Today, when studio execs have a comedy that feels flat or formulaic, the call goes out to ”Judd it up” — sweet irony for a man once best known for critically beloved flops like TV’s Freaks and Geeks. ”It was always my dream to become a verb,” Apatow deadpans. ”That’s what I wrote in my high school yearbook.”
Dr. Drew is preaching to the choir baby! In next month’s issue of Playboy the Celebrity Rehab Doc dives into the crazy of Tom Cruise. (I hope he has a battle axe and foil hat to protect him while he is in there.)
“A lot of people in the public eye who behave strangely have mental illness we can learn from, and much of it is based on childhood trauma, without a doubt. Take a guy like Tom Cruise. Why would somebody be drawn into a cultish kind of environment like Scientology? To me, that’s a function of a very deep emptiness and suggests serious neglect in childhood – maybe some abuse, but mostly neglect.”
Oooo, this is all very Robin Williams circa Good Will Hunting with his Matt Damon wall demolishing mantra of “It’s not your fault.” Unfortunatly Tom’s attorney doesn’t find it as amusing as I do. Bert Fields went to the media to air out his thoughts on Dr. Drew.
“This unqualified television performer who is obviously just looking for notoriety is so grotesquely unprofessional as to pretend to diagnose Tom and others without ever meeting them. He seems to be spewing the absurdity that all Scientologists are mentally ill. The last time we heard garbage like this was from Joseph Goebbels.”
This guy is pointing his money encrusted finger for “spewing absurdity” at DOCTOR Drew? WTF?
Bert doesn’t find anything absurd about and alien dictator paralyzing his minions with alcohol and glycol to capture their souls and take them to a volcano planet and dump them, then kill them in a simultaneous blast only to reharvest them and forced them to watch a “three-D, super colossal motion picture” for thirty-six days?
Seriously I couldn’t make this shiz up even after binging on LSD, Red Bull and peyote.
What Others Said:
Dlisted- “Tommy better not mess with Dr. Drew. He has Chyna on his side and that crazy giant could easily knock Tommy out with one swift punch from her mutant-clit.”
Hollywood Backwash- “Whatever dude! Have you seen Dr. Drew? He is waaay too hot to be a Nazi. Besides, Tom is the one that looks awful comfy in that German get up.”
Word is that the actor’s lawyers are taking a serious look at the strong brand of bud after we brought it to their attention.
One of Cruise’s friends found it “outrageous” that licensed cannabis clubs in Northern California are selling vials of pot featuring a picture of Cruise laughing hysterically.
Like other followers of Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard, Cruise is opposed to the use of psychotropic drugs.
Staffers at several California clinics we called said they were forbidden to discuss any of the herbal varieties in their “inventory.”
But one weed devotee said, “I heard it’s the kind of pot that makes you hallucinate.”
Meanwhile, a woman who has been identified as Cruise’s former alternative-medicine consultant is due to stand trial in L.A. Superior Court on April 18.
I heard it’s the kind of pot that makes you hallucinate. Hmmm, Maybe Tom smokes this stuff? In all actuality, he probably should smoke a big fat one… maybe then he wouldn’t act so glib.
Yes Tom, I used your word to describe your crazy behavior.
The Church of Scientology said you may view the video at one of their centers, right after they brainwash you into joining their cult. Yeah, um… no thanks.
Gawker told them that they aren’t breaking any laws and they won’t take the video down.
Tom Cruise isn’t shy about his commitment to Scientology – Katie Holmes reportedly signed a contract to guarantee her faith before their marriage and his children are raised as Scientologists – but a video that surfaced online has revealed the true extent of his beliefs.
The clip, hosted on YouTube and Google Video, featured a 9-minute speech by Cruise as the actor recently accepted the Freedom Medal of Valor award at an International Association of Scientologists event.
Yesterday, Radar, Huffington Post, Gawker and Celebitchy posted the video, but it was taken down. No doubt this will be taken down too. If it is, we have the transcript after the jump!
Tom Cruise: …I think it’s a privilege to call yourself a Scientologist, and it’s something that you have to earn because a Scientologist does… has the ability to create new and better realities and improve conditions. Being a Scientologist, you look at someone and know absolutely that you can help them.
“Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident… you know you have to do something about it because you know you’re the only one that can really help.
“But that’s what drives me… I know that we have an opportunity to really help… effectively change people’s lives and I am dedicated to that. I am absolutely, uncompromisingly dedicated to that.
“We have a responsibility.
“We are the authorities on getting people off drugs, we are the authorities on the mind, we are the authorities on improving conditions… we can rehabilitate criminals.
“…We can bring peace and unite cultures…
“Traveling the world and meeting the people that I’ve met, talking with these leaders in various fields, they want help and they are depending on people who know and who can be effective and do it and that’s us. That is our responsibility to do that.
“It is the time now. Now is the time… Being a Scientologist, people are turning to you, so you better know it, you better know it and if you don’t, go and learn it, but don’t pretend you know it. It’s like we’re here to help.
“If you’re a Scientologist, you see life, you see things the way they are, in all its glory, all of its complexity and the more you know as a Scientologist, you don’t become overwhelmed by it.
“Look, I wish the world was a different place. I’d like to go on vacation and go and romp and play and just do that, you know what I mean. That’s what I want it to be. There’s times I’d like to do that, but I can’t because I know I have to do something about it.
“I have to do it because I can’t live with myself if I don’t, and that really is it.
“So it’s our responsibility to educate, create the new reality. We have that responsibility to say, ‘Hey, this is the way it should be done because we do it this way and people are actually getting better.’
“And let’s get it done. Let’s really get it done and have enough love and compassion and toughness that you’re really going to do it and do it right.
“I have to tell you something – it is rough and tumble, and it’s wild and wooly, and it’s a blast, it’s a blast, it really is fun because, dammit, there is nothing better than the going out there and fighting the fight and suddenly you see things are better.
“I want to know that I’ve done everything I could everyday, and I think about those people out there who are depending on us. I think about that and it does make me feel that we’ve got more work. I need more help, get those spectators either in the playing field or out of the arena. Really, that’s how I feel about it.
“I do what I can, and I do it the way I do everything. [laughs] There’s nothing part-of-the way for me.”
In court papers provided to The News by investigator Paul Barresi, Letterese claims a member of the church phoned his lawyer at home, and when the lawyer’s wife answered, said he was her husband’s homosexual lover.
Word is that the actor’s lawyers are taking a serious look at the strong brand of bud after we brought it to their attention.
