You know when you walk into a store and look at the magazine racks and every week it’s the same celebrities over and over? Well there’s a reason for that because that celebrity is the one that’s selling the most copies for the magazine. Here is a list of the top 10 selling tabloids of 2010.
10. Twilight – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 2.4 million
09. Jennifer Aniston – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 2.6 million
08. The Kardashians – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 2.7 million
07. Teen Mom – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 2.75 million
06. Lady GaGa – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 2.8 million
05. The Royal Wedding – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 3.2 million
04. Bachelor Jake – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 3.6 million
03. Angelina Jolie – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 5 million
02. Dr Oz – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 7 million
01. Sandra Bullock – Total Unit Sales (all magazine titles): 7.4 million
None of this is surprising to me at all, I’ve been sick of all these people for the past year.
Please stop making remakes of classic movies. I understand that you are out of ideas and feel the need to make a fast buck from ignorant people, but couldn’t you just make a bunch more movies about twinkly pedophile vampires and shirtless wolfboys? The idiots of the world eat that shit up. Just leave our great movies the hell alone.
Ah, I see that you are doing a “contemporized adaptation” of Total Recall. Out of all of Philip K. Dick‘s stories, you chose to do one that has already been made. Cool.
Oh, and I see that you’re having Len Wiseman, the director of such amazing flicks as Underworld and Live Free or Die Hard, direct it. Where could this possibly go wrong? He can only make it better, I’m sure. This time around, the whore in the bar on Mars will have four tits!
Paul Verhoeven made the original into a fantastic film full of gratuitous violence and cheesy one-liners. He made a film where Sharon Stone was brutally shot and killed. These are moments that you can not recreate.
I, for one, will not be paying to see your terrible movie. However, I may pirate it so that I can rip it to pieces after watching the mess that it surely will be. I hope this remake tanks, just like I hope your goddamned remake of The Crow blows up in your faces.
Hollywood, I am dissapointed in you.
Sincerely,
Eric J
source: Len Wiseman to Direct ‘Total Recall’ Remake [Cinematical]
Nick Cave, an Australian singer who wrote the brilliant 2005 movie The Proposition, has decided to piss on the memory of Brandon Lee while taking a crap all over his credibility by working on a remake of The Crow.
This new (and likely terrible) version of the movie will be directed by Stephen Norrington (Blade), a director who claimed he would never direct again after Sean Connery handed him his ass during the filming of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Norrington actually already wrote the script for the remake, but has brought in Nick Cave to revise it.
Norrington stated,
“Whereas Alex Proyas’s original was gloriously gothic and stylised (sic), the new movie will be realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style.”
I love you Stephen. Thank you and everyone one else in the film industry for gang-raping the childhood memories of millions of people over the past several years. We really do appreciate it when great movies are remade by shitty directors and turned into fluffy garbage for the teen-aged Twilight douchetards to drool over. Thanks.
source: Nick Cave penning remake of The Crow [Guardian]
Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer, the douchebags behind several modern classic including Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans have made another sparkly little gem for the tweens and suicide prone.
Vampires Suck is a parody of vampire movies (namely Twilight), and I guess it is supposed to have some sort of plot.
Vampires Suck is a comedy about contemporary teen angst and romance movies. Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca’s friends contend with their own romantic issues – all of which collide at the prom.
Check out the trailer below. This abortion is due to be released upon the world on August 18.
Well, I do have to admit that it looks better than Twilight.
Robert Pattinson did an interview with The New York Times and he admitted that he is pretty sick of filming the Twilight series and the frenzy that comes along with it.
On being bored: “It can get a little boring. The good news is that the whole thing is done in seven months.”
On the media annoying him: “I’ve learned to let it go a bit, but I’m still really bothered by it. The more you are exposed, the more people irrationally hate you. I think we reached a point, a peak, with New Moon where the stories became so saturated into the culture that it started to feel normal. It’s like the tabloids don’t know what to write anymore because they’ve used up all their scandals.”
I totally agree with Robert Pattinson because I am sick to death of the Twilight mania and can’t for the whole thing to die down.
source: Pattinson: ‘I’m bored with Twilight’ [Digital Spy]
If you’re into that whole Twilight phenomenon then I’m sure you recognize Elizabeth Reaser as playing the mother to a bunch of vampires, if not then I’m sure you’ll at least consider her a MILF.
Elizabeth attended the 2010 MTV Movie Awards on Sunday and out of all the people that attended the awards show, she was one person I never thought would give us a nipple slip but she did and here they are.
It is not uncommon for female celebrities to go topless for movies or TV shows and nearly every single male actor has gone shirtless in movies, but not all of them are happy with their choice to do this. Here are four actors who have spoken out against their decisions:
Kate Winslet – The Reader
Nearly every male viewer who saw Kate Winslet, 34, in her Oscar-winning role as Hannah in “The Reader” has nothing to complain about. But she did win an Academy Award for the role, but we’re still uncertain as to whether flashing her goodies played a part in that. “I don’t want to become that actress who always gets her kit off,” she says. But whether her ‘kit’ is on or off, we still agree that Kate’s a fantastic actress and deserves all the accolades.
Mary-Louise Parker – Weeds
Mary-Louise Parker, 45, was extremely regretful after going nude for a bath scene on the hit television series “Weeds.” “I’m bitter… I knew it was going to be on the Internet,” she said. You may be bitter, Mary-Louise, but if it makes you feel any better – there are a lot of folks (mostly potheads) out there who continue to support your decision, though.
Taylor Lautner – Twilight
Despite a limited role in “Twilight,” still images of a shirtless Taylor Lautner (17) promoting the film’s sequel, “Twilight: New Moon,” surfaced; and the actor made it clear that he wasn’t proud of flashing his bulging torso. “If I had to choose, I would never take my shirt off again in a movie,” he said.
Natalie Portman – Hotel Chevalier
I’d be lying if I said I’d seen the 13 minute short film “Hotel Chevalier” – basically a prelude to Wes Anderson’s “The Darjeeling Limited” – prior to seeing 28-year-old Natalie Portman’s erotic scenes. However, it’s nearly impossible to type “Hotel Chevalier” into any search engine and not have an image pop up showcasing the star in the nude. “I shouldn’t have done it”, she said.
I don’t for a single second believe them when they say they regret going topless because every actor has said they would do it for the right script, which basically means that money talks and if they believe they could win an award they will strip down. I mean look at Kate Winslet she got an Oscar for The Reader.
source: Four Stars Who Regret Going Topless [Starpulse]
Oh lord, the Twihards are going to go nuts about this one.
Fans of the Twilight movies were broken hearted over the first Twilight: Eclipse teaser trailer, which really showed nothing at all except Edward and Bella looking at each other and acting like one of them isn’t a 100 year old pedophile.
Rejoice, ye goofy bastards! The new trailer shows all kinds of naked men chests and bad contact lenses. Plus, if you act now, you can get sparkly “vampires” climbing trees for no extra charge! As a bonus, there is a smattering of poorly rendered CGI wolves thrown in the mix!
I read about 20 pages of the first book before handing it back to my ex and saying she needed to grow up, and maybe sat through 10 minutes of the first movie before turning my back in disgust. Although I will admit that I turned back around at one point in the movie. That was when Edward showed Bella what a vampire looked like in the daylight. Thanks for making evil, bloodthirsty creatures look like sparkly pansies. If Perez Hilton was a vampire, that’s what he’d look like. Except fat.
Back in November the latest name on the street for purchasing heroin was Twilight because bags with Robert Pattinson‘s face on them were being sold. Now it seems Twilight is out and Lady GaGa is in for the drug world.
The other day Jeffrey J. Williams, a man from Syracuse, stepped off the bus from New York City and got busted for carrying about 400 glassine bags containing heroin in his pants. Police received a tip from someone so they already had a search warrant ready to search him and his luggage, when they searched him they found the bags which each had Lady GaGa written on them.
When they weighed the drugs, it all came to 15.6 grams of heroin which would sell on the street for up to $6,000. He was charged with two felonies and a misdemeanor of criminal possession of a controlled substance.
What I don’t get is, when the bus was pulling up to the station surely he would have seen an army of police waiting around the are? He could have easily dumped the drugs on the bus. Now you know what to ask your dealer for when you go buy your heroin, just say you want the Lady GaGa brand. It wouldn’t surprise me if she is on this herself to make an extra bit of cash.
source: Syracuse police seize ‘Lady Gaga’ heroin in Regional Transportation Center bust [Syracuse]
Yes, Twihards (or as I like to call you, Twildos), you read that right. The geniuses over at “Destroy the Entire Allure and General Badassery of Vampires Studios” have released a 10 second clip previewing the full preview that will be released tomorrow morning.
Yes, a preview of a preview.
Basically it’s just some pale dude that effin’ glitters when sunlight hits him who is a hundred years old or so staring longingly into his teenage lover’s eyes while saying whatever it is that undead pedophiles say to their victims. I wasn’t really listening.
Oh, and the werewolf dude says some of the corniest shit ever. Enjoy it, Twildos.
Yahoo! chief executive Carol Bartz has been quoted as saying:
“God bless Tiger Woods. This week we got a huge uplift: Front Page, News, Sports, Gossip. He just filtered through the whole place. It is better than Michael Jackson dying; it is kind of hard to put an ad next to a funeral.â€
Yes, Carol… the news of Tiger Woods banging an entire harem of starf*ckers is better than someone dying. Even Michael Jackson.
Carol Bartz is basically saying that the absolute destruction of a family being played out day by day before the eyes of the world turns her on more than the death of a legend. That’s nice. Perhaps next week we’ll get some fantastic news of a plane full of nuns plummeting from the sky and crashing into a hospital, devastating the children’s cancer ward and everyone inside it. Then she can be all excited about death again.
Now that I think about it, that would only make headlines for a day or two. Let’s change it to a plane carrying Lindsay Lohan crashing into a whorehouse containing Tila Tequila having a secret affair with the entire cast of Twilight: New Moon.
