I’m not a fan of chick flicks but flick chicks are often quite hot. Here are the 10 hottest chicks starring in this summer’s movies, as presented by Fat Guys at the Movies.
10. Mary Elizabeth Winstead in “Live Free or Die Hardâ€
For those of us who have the teenage boy heterosexual crush on John McClane, this summer’s latest “Die Hard†film gave us a chance to focus our hormones on something a little more appropriate. Winstead plays McClane’s daughter who is not only hot, but could probably kick the snot out of both Fat Guys at once. I’ll buy that for a dollar!
9. Imogen Poots in “28 Weeks Laterâ€
Okay, so we left Emma Watson off the list for decency’s sake, but we couldn’t help but give a nod to the other underage Brit Imogen Poots from the horror sequel “28 Weeks Later.†Give her a few years, and she’ll be on the Maxim list too. Those eyes, those eyes!
8.Ellen Barkin in “Oceans 13â€
If we’re gonna give the nod to teenagers like Imogen Poots and Emma Watson, we also can’t leave out the mature ladies who are still sizzling on screen. Ellen Barkin has obviously had some work done, but after seeing her in “Oceans 13,†we wanted to do some work on her as well. We so envy Matt Damon… and his huge prosthetic nose.
7. Bryce Dallas Howard in “Spider-Man 3â€
While neither Fat Guy wanted Kirsten Dunst on the list, we both wholeheartedly agreed on Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Staci in the latest Spidey tale. Who thought the pale, skinny waif from “Lady in the Water†would steal the show in the first big film of the summer?
6. Michelle Pfeiffer in “Hairspray†and “Stardustâ€
Beating out Ellen Barkin as the mature lady we’d love some quality time with, Michelle Pfeiffer proves to us this summer that she’s still got it. She’s sexy as heck in “Hairspray,†and her appearance in the trailers for “Stardust†already got our motor running. Now, if she could just slip into that vinyl Catwoman outfit again…
5. Rachael Taylor in “Transformersâ€
Who thought there’d be someone in “Transformers†that could distract us from Megan Fox? Well, uber-hot Aussie Rachael Taylor had what it took. When the Defense Department was recruiting hackers, they went for the guys that looked like us, and the one smokin’ hot blonde who looks like she stepped out of a beer commercial. All hail the Michael Bay casting director!
4. Jessica Biel in “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larryâ€
We know that “Chuck and Larry†hasn’t been released yet, but Jessica Biel makes the list based on her appearance in the trailer alone. We’d gladly fake gay at a chance to hang with her in her underwear and grab her breasts.
3. Megan Fox in “Transformersâ€
And the Fat Guy short-list smackdown began. The top three ladies, starting with “Transformers†hottie Megan Fox, caused the most sleepless nights in the Fat Guys’ households. It’s a good thing the MPAA R-rated cigarette ban hadn’t gone into effect yet, ‘cause this film would have lost its PG-13 rating since Fox was smoking on screen through the whole film.
2. Jessica Alba in “Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surferâ€
Another Jessica on the list, and Fat Guy Kevin Carr fought over this one for the top spot. However, as hot as she was (proved by the fact she actually caught fire in the film), she lost some points for the bleach blonde look and freaky blue eyes. But we still wouldn’t kick her out of the bed for eating crackers.
1. Katherine Heigl in “Knocked Upâ€
We’re not just jumping on the Katherine Heigl bandwagon here. There are some solid reasons why she topped the list, even though she has some Kirsten Dunst teeth going on. Not only did Heigl give fat guys worldwide hope by banging Seth Rogan, we couldn’t stop thinking about the raw, sordid way she talked during sex. It made us want to move to L.A. to stalk the clubs for drunk reporters from E! celebrating a promotion.
There are some more pics and “honorable mention” choices at the link.
Not tonsil hockey, real hockey. I know, I’m having trouble believing it too, but there it is in black and white.
SportsbyBrooks reveals
“Paris Hilton’s short-lived hockey career at rural Connecticut boarding school Canterbury Academy. Case you’re curious, the Whoretel heiress was inevitably ejected from the academy halfway through her first year at the school, for underage drinking and hailing limos to New York and New Jersey parties.”
Hilton: “I would always move around, I wasn’t just one position.” That’s what he said Paris, that’s what he said.
Spoiler alert… here’s the Top 50 Movie Endings of All Time.
50. The Blair Witch Project (1999) – The movie isn’t particularly scary… at least until the last two minutes, which take the tension level from 10 to 100 at an exponential pace. The final seconds — wherein a member of the cast is spotted, back turned and facing a corner, as an unseen spirit does away with the remaining member of the crew, who’s been filming all of this in a panic-stricken run through an abandoned house — rank as some of the most terrifying moments ever put to film. It gives me chills just to write about it. -CN
49. A History of Violence (2005) – David Cronenberg’s sly, brilliant merger of a revenge fantasy and an essay on the American Dream has an appropriately messy, provocative ending. Tom Stall (Viggo Mortensen) has exposed a terrible truth about himself that’s left his wife, Edie (Maria Bello), in despair. They gaze at each other in silence across the dinner table, and the looks in their eyes lets you know it’s impossible, yet painfully necessary, to pretend nothing has changed. -MA
48. Batman Begins (2005) – As the title suggests, the Dark Knight’s mission to cleanse Gotham has just begin. Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) hands Batman (Christian Bale) a playing card left at the scene of a recent crime. He flips it over, and fanboy hearts race in unison as we contemplate director Christopher Nolan’s next move. -SO
7. All That Jazz (1979) – A film especially priceless in its rendering of death in big, Broadway musical number style. Extremely well collaged as the self-defeating choreographer ties up all his loose ends in fantastical choreographic zeal, Roy Scheider’s Joe Gideon simply walks into a flirtatious angel’s embrace. -RG
46. Dead Again (1991) – The second film Kenneth Branagh directed before his ego became too inflated from his Shakespeare renown, is also still the best helming he has managed to date. Beautifully combining intelligent romanticism with reincarnation between he and his then wife/co-star Emma Thompson, the film gracefully culminates with a death scene, love re-established, and the past resolving itself, without losing an emotional beat. Even those who don’t believe in filmic romance melt as the modern day Branagh holds his partner and exhaustedly says “The door is closed.†-RG
45. Pulp Fiction (1994) – It’s hard to pick this over Reservoir Dogs, since Quentin Tarantino plagiarized himself here, but Pulp is more refined and more funny in its treatment of a Mexican standoff, this time with a “happy” ending to it. Of course, we know the buffoonish Vincent Vega’s going to get shot coming out of the toilet on another job, but he and his Bible-spewing pal get to walk away this time, even if they do look like idiots. -CN
44. Fargo (1996) – Cinema, especially recent cinema, isn’t known for its portrayals of happy marriages — especially not in crime movies. But the last scene in this Coen brothers masterpiece doesn’t involve any blood, bullets, or double-crosses. It just shows the Gundersons, Marge (Frances McDormand) and Norm (John Carroll Lynch), sitting in bed. He tells her that his painting is going to put on a three-cent stamp, she tells him how great that is, and the emotional core that has been developing throughout the film is suddenly sitting right in front of us. No wood chipper needed. -JH
Had enough… or are you thirsty for more? After the jump!
43. Shane (1953) – When the kid yells, “Shane, come back!” at the departing hero, it’s one of the rare tear-jerker scenes that just feels right. -DB
42. The Terminator (1984) – One of the first major science fiction trilogies to be a true inspiration to an entire new generation of filmmaking, the initial installment is brutal, bright, and brilliantly executed. From Ah-nold’s one-liners to Sarah Connor learning to want to be great female hero, it was also one of the first films to create a spellbinding circle in its narrative, to have the end reflect where it all began. He’ll be back. -RG
41. Say Anything… (1989) – Lots of romantic comedies end with the boy getting the girl; Say Anything makes him, her, and us all earn it. We leave Lloyd Dobler (John Cusack) and Diane Court (Ione Skye) not in passionate embrace, but sitting on an airplane, holding hands, looking upward, waiting for the “ding” that will tell them everything is okay. This final shot is everything that’s great about Say Anything: sweet, a little bit funny, and completely believable. -JH
40. The Thing (1982) – Easily the most chilling ending in horror, Carpenter purposefully never lets the audience in on exactly how the contagion is spread and allows us to stew in absolute terror as to which man will split apart and become the alien host. The last thumps of the moody score are enough to make anyone shiver with fear. -CC
39. The Silence of the Lambs (1991) – Find me a better last line uttered by any villain than “I’m having an old friend for dinner.” With wit, charm, and unyielding bravado, Hopkins caps off his career performance with an exit (forgetting Ridley Scott’s forgivable Hannibal) that oozes menace and wild provocation. Fava beans, anyone? -CC
38. 8 1/2 (1963) – As the crazy director finally embraces the joy and absurdity of life, a group of freaks, friends, loonies and journalists begin to dance in a huge circle, with the great circus behind it; it’s so good that Woody Allen would outright copy it in Stardust Memories. Has any ending, or any film for that matter, better encapsulated what it’s like to understand life as the great, crazy joke it is? -CC
37. Rocky (1976) – As Bill Conte’s score soars in the background, a bloodied Rocky (Sylvester Stallone) and a hatless Adrian (Talia Shire) finally proclaim their love for one another. And in the distant background, a ring announcer tells a frenzied crowd that our hero has actually lost the fight that held us captive for an entire final act. In one dramatic move, two shy nobodies find their hearts and nothing else matters. -NS
36. Jacob’s Ladder (1990) – It was all a dream, freak-out style. This time at least it’s with good reason: We find out that Jacob (Tim Robbins) was on his deathbed, having been shot during the Vietnam War, and everything that has preceded has been a sort of cruel flash-back-forward because Jacob hasn’t been willing to let go. Suddenly it all makes sense. -CN
35. Back to the Future (1985) – The most brazen call for a sequel imaginable. What if the movie had flopped? Not a chance. All seems right with Marty’s world, until Doc Brown returns from the future to alert him of a troubling family issue. The stage is set for an eventual trilogy that continues to entertain to this day. -SO
34. King of New York (1990) – After facing the last (and oldest) cop of the four that stalked him, crime lord Christopher Walken sits in a cab, letting the bullet in his gut take its final resting place. Abel Ferrara’s crime sonata ends the idea of the great overblown gangster ending, seeing Scarface as an aging villain who can’t say anything else, feeling the only thing left for him to do is silently drift off to death amongst the dazzle of the city he loves. -CC
33. A Clockwork Orange (1971) – Stanley Kubrick excised the last chapter of the book in order to give Clockwork a nihilistic ending that has Alex (Malcolm McDowell in the role of a lifetime) learning absolutely nothing from the last two hours of screen time, dreaming of a pseudo-orgy while trapped in a hospital bed. It’s a controversial choice that has had cineastes debating for decades, but it still packs a wallop. The book’s ending, suffice it to say, would have hardly been cinematic. -CN
32. Being There (1979) – Peter Sellers’ crowning achievement ends with a little bit of mysticism, which is at once completely out of character for this very grounded movie while also being totally apropos. You have to smile when you see it. -CN
31. Magnolia (1999) – Everyone remembers a certain cataclysmic plot turn in the final act, and while I love P.T. Anderson’s audacious willingness to simply let frogs fall from the sky, the real ending to Magnolia is much simpler. In an extended close-up, we see troubled Claudia (Melora Walters) listen to sweet cop Jim (John C. Reilly) talk. His words are barely audible; instead, we focus on Claudia’s face, which finally breaks into a slight smile, a split second before the movie cuts to black. Desperation turns to hope in an instant, and Aimee Mann’s “Save Me” ices the cake perfectly. -JH
30. Pickpocket (1959) – Copied and re-rendered by hundreds of films (most recently: L’Enfant and Art School Confidential), French master Robert Bresson ends his tale of spiritual bartering with the pickpocket and the girl who loves him, pressing against each other in a prison visitor room. Emotionally penetrating and gorgeously shot, the ending brings up all the yearning and transcendental themes into complete concentration, using Bresson’s patented flat acting style. -CC
29. Wait Until Dark (1967) – In this suspenseful period thriller, Audrey Hepburn plays a blind woman targeted by a hit man (Alan Arkin). At the end of the film, she is trapped in her flat and he’s stalking her. She knocks out all the lights so that they will be equal… but she forgets one light! This one is exciting right up to the last minute. During its first run, theaters turned out all the lights for the last few minutes to enhance the effect. -DB
28. Hannah and Her Sisters (1986): For sheer pleasure, you can’t beat the sweetness of watching reformed drug addict/punk-rock chick Dianne Weist and comedy writer/religiously-confused Woody Allen cuddle in a dim hallway as she breaks the good news to him. Call it artful sentimentalism. -CC
27. The Searchers (1956) – John Wayne, a symbol of the male ego, dominance, and everything right with the Wild West, stands alone in a doorway, isolated by feelings and ideologies that simply won’t be accepted anymore. Deconstruction of the cowboy myth began here and John Ford, haunted by his own racist past, gives the shot a haunting, sobering feel of loneliness and change. -CC
26. Rushmore (1998) – The Salinger of the screen ends his best film in his lovable faux-theatrical and pastel style without a hint of irony. Max and the woman of his obsession stand prepared to dance as The Faces’ “Ooh la-la” plays, easily ranking in the top 10 best ending songs of all time, as the other characters dance around them. It sure beats the hell out of a gate closing on a headstone. -CC
25. Real Genius (1985) – The entire film builds and builds to this exquisite ending, where Chris Knight (Val Kilmer) and his brainiac pals finally revel in their revenge plot against the evil Jerry Hathaway (William Atherton). How they pulled off the stunt to make an entire house look like it was filled with popcorn I still can’t figure out. The effect is, ahem, genius. Growing up, my little sister called this film “the popcorn movie.” -CN
23. House of Games (1987) – David Mamet’s finest movie and a personal favorite: After demure psychiatrist Margaret Ford (Lindsay Crouse) murders the ringleader of the gang of con men that cost her thousands of dollars, she takes a vacation. After a little misdirection, she steals a gold lighter from a woman dining one table over. She’s got the con game bug, now. So satisfying, but so creepy. -CN
22. Brazil (1985) – Harry Tuttle (Robert De Niro) swoops in to save the day, but it’s not to be: Our hero Sam Lowry (Jonathan Pryce) is revealed to be wallowing in a torture chamber and, alas, “He’s gone.” The ending was so controversial that the studio basically stole the film from director Terry Gilliam and edited together a happy ending, known as the “Love Conquers All” ending. Comparing the two versions is a film geek’s wet dream. -CN
21. The Usual Suspects (1995) – For two hours, Kevin Spacey’s spineless Verbal plays helpless lamb being lured to Chazz Palminteri’s slaughter. But with the drop of a coffee cup, and the shaking off of a limp, the true identity of a criminal mastermind is revealed. -SO
20. Before Sunset (2004) – Cooler than pre-Scientology Isaac Hayes in Antarctica eating popsicles and drinking iced coffee, Julie Delpy dances and sings Nina Simone in front of Ethan Hawke and croons, sexy as they come, “Baby, you’re gonna miss that plane.” Delpy has never been given enough time on screen to fully capture audience appeal, but in this moment, she has it over any hip chick this side of Santa Monica. -CC
19. Memento (2001) – Our sympathetic hero commits an abrupt, cold-blooded, and vengeful murder, entirely to serve his own purposes. He’s not the Leonard Shelby we thought we knew. And major bonus points for it coming at both the very beginning and the end of the movie, which are actually the ending and the beginning. Got that? -AG
18. The Wizard of Oz (1939) – The first “it was all a dream” ending ever? I’m not sure, but it’s certainly one of the most memorable. The revelation that nearly all the characters we’ve seen in Dorothy’s fantasy world were drawn from her friends (and enemies) is magical. -CN
17. Planet of the Apes (1968) – Charlton Heston (as a lost astronaut) spends most of this modern classic convincing a dominant ape race that man can indeed communicate and reason. And while there’s plenty of irony and social commentary there, co-writer Rod Serling’s trademark storytelling really surfaces in the final scene. As a cowboy of sorts, a half-naked Heston grabs his woman and rides his horse into unknown territory… but quickly finds that many have been there before him. In an ending worthy of the greatest Twilight Zone zingers, Lady Liberty’s head and torch emerge from the sand. And Heston drops to his knees and damns us all to hell. We got it coming. -NS
16. The Empire Strikes Back (1980) – Lethal fight scenes, great dialogue (“I love you.” “I know.”), a traitorous Billy Dee Williams, and the biggest paternal twist in sci-fi history. And then the final shocker: Han Solo is still frozen, and he’s not getting out ’til the next movie! What!? Empire turned George Lucas’ universe on its ear, raising his franchise’s bar to a height no Star Wars sequel or prequel managed to touch. -SO
15. The Godfather (1972) – Derelicts will argue the second one is better, but the ending of the Godfather is everything it should be, foreshadowing all the dark, murky secrets that would be dragged from the depths in Part 2. Kay finally asks about Michael’s business and he lies, outright, as the door closes on a good kid who turned into the ultimate family man, and a brooding, calculating monster. -CC
14. The Tenant (1976) – You simply can’t comprehend it: after plummeting through glass once, the titular tenant drags himself up the stairs again to finish the job, only to end up the crazed lunatic that kicked off Polanski’s most concentrated study of paranoia. It doesn’t have the acute horror of Rosemary’s Baby, but The Tenant sits in your stomach with sick discomfort, like remembering the most private, embarrassing ordeal you’ve ever been through. -CC
13. Citizen Kane (1941) – Well, we kind of have to put this one on the list, don’t we? One of the earliest examples of don’t-spill-the-secret endings and also I’ve-been-robbed anti-climax, that little wooden sled explains everything and explains nothing about Charles Foster Kane, but it’s the elusive piece of the jigsaw that drives one of the greatest movies ever made. -AG
12. The Birds (1963) – Our heroine and her strapping man might be making a stealthy escape from Bodega Bay, but the camera pulls further back and there are birds, birds, menacing birds as far as the eye can see. How safe are they really, in that soft-top convertible, with those lovebirds? -AG
11. The Graduate (1967) – Dustin Hoffman crashes Katherine Ross’ wedding, whish has just ended, and he steals her away on a bus. Her mother tells her “It’s too late” and she yells, “Not for us!” It’s unbelievable, it’s corny, but also (as the guy says in Barcelona) it’s real. It symbolizes the moment when the disenchanted ’60s generation started their lives. This isn’t how romances were supposed to end. -DB
10. Some Like It Hot (1959) – Jack Lemmon finally drops his drag and reveals his true gender to his horny suitor (the perfect Joe E. Brown), who couldn’t care less. “Nobody’s perfect!” he says, the final cherry on top of a whipped-cream and chocolate-covered sundae of a comedy. -DW
9. Don’t Look Now (1973) – Donald Sutherland chases the little child in the raincoat he’s seen for the whole film and then Roeg’s nightmare springs one last terror on you. That face under the red raincoat is no child, and it will stay in your nightmares for months… or else you’ll put it as your computer’s desktop picture like my roommate. -CC
8. Big Night (1996) – The old term “silence is golden” has never seemed so appropriate. After a grand night of arguments, fantastic food, and a no-show crooner, the two idealistic opposites (art vs. commerce) sit down to a simple omelet with their waiter, knowing their lives will go separate ways (and bankruptcy is a near certainty) but not needing to talk about it. Soulful, delicate, and bypassing tearjerk-o-rama, directors Stanley Tucci and Campbell Scott create a sincere goodbye to their lovely, little film. -CC
7. Night of the Living Dead (1968) – Without a hint of being self-conscious, Romero’s horror masterpiece raised the middle finger to all modern narrative constructions. The family dies, the young white couple dies and the black protagonist, surviving the gruesome night, is shot by the cops. It’s complete film rebellion, and you can’t help but savor it. -CC
6. Boogie Nights (1997) – One of the most unexpected endings in cinema history. Mark Wahlberg’s faded porn star stand in the mirror and yanks his penis out, saying with complete conviction, “You’re a fucking star.” The soul of the inept, underage star still resides in the aged, coke-snorting loser. Its pathetic grandeur (both the ending and the unit on display) is unmatched. -CC
5. Bonnie and Clyde (1967) – The constantly underrated Arthur Penn brings his great, gritty tale of the criminal lovebirds to an end with a scene of unyielding violence and shock. Think of it as the alternate ending for Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, which ends exactly the same way but stops the film about 20 seconds earlier. -CC
3. Chinatown (1974) – “Forget it, Jake, its Chinatown.” Chinatown has nothing to do with Chinatown, but it also has everything to do with Chinatown. Explaining its intricacies could fill a book, but it’s the very end that punches you in the gut: The bad guy gets away and Nicholson’s Jake Gittes, after solving the case, is told to forget the whole affair. Ow. -CN
2. Fight Club (1999) – No matter what you think of David Fincher’s translation of Chuck Palahniuk’s pre-iPod, post-post-punk nightmare, you have to admire an ending that foresaw things that are still being talked about today. The film predicts the emo-boy nation that we swim in these days, but the ending, with the Pixies’ raucous “Where is My Mind?” wailing in the background, sees self-terrorism and numb romance as the new, essential way of life. -CC
1. Dr. Strangelove (1964) – You may remember otherwise, but the climactic scene where Slim Pickens rides the bomb down is not actually the ending of Strangelove (though even if it were, it would still be #1 on our list). Rather, there is a strange scene afterwards in which the leaders of the free world wait for the end of the world while having a demented argument about how to survive the impending nuclear winter (“We must not have a mine shaft gap!”). Then, signaling apocalypse, Peter Sellers’ titular mad scientist, wheelchair-bound for the entire movie, stands up and begins to walk, before the War Room (and the rest of the world) explodes to the tune of “We’ll Meet Again.” It’s all weird but absurdly logical, like everything about Kubrick’s masterpiece. -DB
Filmmakers now might get an R rating as a thank you for smoking.
The Motion Picture Assn. of America (MPAA) said Thursday that its rating board will consider film depictions of smoking among the criteria for assigning movie ratings. Anti-tobacco activists have been pressing for an automatic R rating for films with smoking scenes, but MPAA chairman and CEO Dan Glickman rejected the proposal for a more nuanced approach.
“The MPAA film rating system has existed for nearly 40 years as an educational tool for parents to assist them in making decisions about what movies are appropriate for their children,” Glickman said. “It is a system that is designed to evolve alongside modern parental concerns.”
In line with that evolution, the MPAA ratings board “will now consider smoking as a factor among many other factors, including violence, sexual situations and language, in the rating of films,” he said.
“Clearly, smoking is increasingly an unacceptable behavior in our society,” Glickman said. “There is broad awareness of smoking as a unique public health concern due to nicotine’s highly addictive nature, and no parent wants their child to take up the habit. The appropriate response of the rating system is to give more information to parents on this issue.”
Glickman described the move as an extension of the MPAA’s practice of factoring underage smoking into the rating of films. The ratings board will ask three questions, he said:
- Is the smoking pervasive?
- Does the film glamorize smoking?
- Is there a historic or other mitigating context?
Also, when a film’s rating is affected by the depiction of smoking, the rating will include such phrases as “glamorized smoking” or “pervasive smoking.”
“Some have called for a mandatory R rating on all films that contain any smoking,” Glickman said. “We do not believe such a step would further the specific goal of providing information to parents on this issue. Unfortunately, the debate on this extreme proposal has become heavily politicized, and many inaccurate statements have been made. While those pushing this proposal are no doubt well-intentioned, it is important that there is an accurate understanding of the declining prevalence of smoking in non-R-rated films.”
From July 2004-July 2006, the percentage of films that included “even a fleeting glimpse of smoking” dropped from 60% to 52%, and 75% of those fetched an R rating for other factors, he said.
The Directors Guild of America was among several organizations issuing statements of support for the MPAA moves.
“The DGA supports the MPAA’s announced enhancements to the ratings system and applauds their effort to provide parents with increased information on the depiction of smoking in movies,” the guild said. “We appreciate that they, like us, are working to find the delicate balance between addressing important health concerns and safeguarding free expression.”
The Screen Actors Guild also gave a statement of support.
“As advocates for both creative rights and child-protection legislation, we believe this is a reasonable approach to deal with a serious health issue,” SAG deputy national executive director Pamm Fair said.
American Cancer Society CEO John Seffrin said he was pleased by the MPAA’s “substantive effort to eliminate tobacco use as a cause of death and disability.”
Seffrin cited “evidence that children and youth are particularly vulnerable to the images of tobacco use on movie screens.”
But not all the reaction was rosy.
American Legacy Foundation said the new MPAA ratings policy “falls short and fails to implement the meaningful recommendations set forth by numerous organizations.” Washington-based ALF states its mission as being “dedicated to a world where young people reject tobacco and anyone can quit.”
Hollywood has been under increasing pressure to take steps to ease the purported effect of entertainment content in several areas, from smoking to child obesity. Next week on Capitol Hill, the Senate Commerce Committee begins its examination of the effect violent content has on children.
Sen. Jay Rockefeller, D-W.Va., is expected to introduce legislation giving the FCC the power to regulate such content — much as it does indecent content on television. In April, the FCC approved a report on TV violence that asked lawmakers for the requisite enforcement powers.
A Senate-FCC industry task force has been convened to identify ways of forcing content producers to encourage children to eat healthy foods.
Underage hottie Hayden Panettiere, 17, used some of her superhuman powers to woo her 21-year-old “Laguna Beach” boyfriend Stephen Colletti out for a snack n’ smooch.
The young Hollywood lovebirds landed at Urth Caffe on Melrose Avenue, and canoodled their way through a lunch on the patio, ignoring photogs and gawking diners.
This may be the weirdest thing I’ve seen in awhile: Paris Hilton Autopsy, a Daniel Edwards creation for Capla Kesting Fine Art.
Paris Hilton’s naked “corpse” could provide an invaluable service to students preparing for prom this season. An interactive Public Service Announcement featuring the graphic display of a tiara-wearing, autopsied Paris Hilton with removable innards is designed to warn teenagers of the hazards of underage drinking. The display also features Tinkerbell, Hilton’s forlorn pet Chihuahua with matching tiara, and debuts in the trendy Williamsburg, Brooklyn neighborhood where prom-goers frequently dine, courtesy of Capla Kesting Fine Art.
“Campaign to Rescue Women of Youth” featuring “The Paris Hilton Autopsy” offers a cadaveric nude Paris Hilton, laid out with twisted body and opened abdominal cavity on a coroner’s table, while her cell phone remains in her grip. The ‘unglamorous’ display which includes support material from anti-drunk driving organizations counters “the disturbingly glamorized trend of Hollywood’s ‘girls gone wild’,” according to gallery
director, David Kesting.
Paris Hilton, arrested for a DUI last year, previously released a marginally effective PSA concerning drunk driving. This latest PSA includes a website by Capla Kesting, which offers high school educators an icebreaker for discussing drunk driving’s consequences. Students are encouraged to take the virtual field trip at http://www.ParisHiltonAutopsy.com to view the making of the “Paris Hilton Autopsy” and compete for prizes by writing Paris Hilton’s obituary.
The tableau, created by Daniel Edwards, reminds potential prom queens no one is impervious to the pitfalls of drinking. Recalling Miss USA’s recent battle to keep her crown through alcohol rehab and Princess Diana’s untimely death due to drunk driving, a skewed hotel heiress’s tiara adorns the lifeless Paris Hilton head.
The PSA also observes the teen pregnancy crisis associated with alcohol impaired judgment. The “Hilton Autopsy” tragically reveals drunk driving’s heartbreaking collateral damage.
Kesting, advocating teenagers to experience the Hilton display “hands-on,” said, “Paris’ internals, which include her small intestines, and other elements, are removable to assist teens with an empathetic view of drunk driving tragedy from the coroner’s perspective.” UK’s Daily Star recently reported Paris Hilton, whose last chilling portrayal came from 2005′s “House of Wax” in a well publicized death scene, had commissioned Daniel Edwards for a sculpture of her to be placed on Los Angeles’ Sunset Strip.
I’m thinking Demi Moore must be completely in the dark, otherwise her daughter Rumer would NOT be in the company of Paris Hilton, no? Underage (she’s only 19) and hanging with Paris at the night spot Teddy’s. Unbelievable!
Whatever 20-year-old singer Antonella Barba expected to gain from auditioning for the star-making machine “American Idol,” it was likely fame, not infamy. But Barba — until last month a Catholic University student from Point Pleasant with a nice voice — is now at the center of a perfect storm of celebrity and technology, sexuality and morality.
Photos of Barba topless, hands covering her breasts, and on the toilet, appeared on the Internet just as she emerged as a semifinalist on television’s top-rated show earlier this month. Over the weekend, racier photos materialized, including several shots of a beautiful brunette performing a sex act on a man who is not identified.
Her best friend and fellow “Idol” auditioner, Amanda Coluccio, said the tamer shots are of Barba, including a full-length shot of Barba naked, covered with rose petals, taken for a calendar she made for her boyfriend of several years. But the lewdest of the bunch, she is certain, are not Barba, a Red Bank Catholic High School graduate who had been studying architecture until she got her break on “Idol.”
“They were meant to be seen by one person and one person only,” Coluccio said at her Holmdel home. “The really bad ones aren’t her. I’ve studied them. It’s not her nose. She’s never had (acrylic nail) tips in her life. She’s the least slutty person I know.”
“Idol” producers won’t make Barba, or any of the semifinalists, available for interviews until after they are ousted. But Coluccio, who speaks with Barba daily, says they believe someone from Catholic University broke into her computer and posted the pictures.
“She’s been crying. She’s horrified,” Coluccio says. “She’s most upset about what her parents think.”
If it’s Barba or not, the unseemly association is likely to persist, regardless of how she does in the competition, said Rich Hanley, an assistant professor of journalism at Quinnipiac University in Hamden, Conn., who specializes in interactive communications. Among the semifinalists, Barba’s singing has drawn some of the harshest criticism from the judges, so her “Idol” dreams likely will die faster than her Internet celebrity.
“This is a breaking situation in terms of the digitization of fame,” Hanley said. “Young people need to understand that anything they put on the Web is going to come back and haunt them some time in their career. Because it’s everywhere, there’s never going to be a minimal response. There’s always going to be a maximum response.”
As for Barba’s “Idol” popularity, it’s possible a voting bloc of hormone-addled teenage boys is asserting itself, and there is an influential Web site, www.votefortheworst.com, that encourages viewers to vote for the “most entertaining train wreck.” It’s backing Barba.
Barba is next scheduled to appear with the remaining 10 female semifinalists on Wednesday. A spokeswoman for the show would say only that it does not comment on contestants’ private lives.
According to Coluccio, producers told Barba that they are reviewing the most recent, and most explicit, photos, and that Barba doesn’t believe her position has been jeopardized by the pictures.
“Idol” producer Nigel Lythgoe told Entertainment Weekly on Friday he had not seen the pictures, adding: “It’s sad, isn’t it, that your best friends are the ones that come forward with information that will go to Smoking Gun or put your photographs on the Web?”
Barba is not the first “Idol” contestant with racy photos in her past; she appears to be the first one, however, who didn’t at least profit from it first. Second-season finalist Frenchie Davis posed topless for a porn site that advertised underage models, and producers ousted her from the lineup. In the fifth season, the men’s magazine Maxim dug up old editorial photos in which semifinalist and sometime model Becky O’Donohue posed suggestively with her twin sister. By the time the photos hit the Web, though, the votes had been counted, and O’Donohue was voted off the show.
If Barba is still serious about pursuing a career in the spotlight, the scandal is not insurmountable, said Mark Obbie, an assistant professor of journalism and media law at Syracuse University’s Newhouse School of Public Communications. Certainly homemade sex tapes did not hurt Paris Hilton or Pamela Anderson; quite the opposite, though they were already public figures when the video recordings were made. But even celebrities who have seen unpalatable pictures from their past turn up have recovered.
“Vanessa Williams made a pretty decent recovery when she was Miss America and Penthouse printed pictures of her in nude lesbian scenes,” Obbie said. “But she went on to be a hardworking actress, and not in all trashy parts.”
Hanley, from Quinnipiac, says that as society catches up to technology, this sort of story won’t be as scandalous. “This is an example of a culture clash. (There are) people who don’t mind posting racy pictures of themselves or photos of them engaging in lewd behavior, but the culture that’s still in charge does object. Right now things are misaligned.”
Possibly the only thing about Barba that remains to be seen is whether she’s litigious. But lawsuits in these cases are “difficult to win and expensive to pursue,” said Andrew McClurg, a professor at the Cecil C. Humphreys School of Law at the University of Memphis. It’s often difficult to track down or prove who posted the picture, or in this case, who made the photos available for Internet publication.
Another obstacle is a section of the Communications Decency Act that provides strong immunity for Internet service providers and Web sites for content they post, McClurg said.
The primary vehicle for legal relief is a privacy tort known as the “public disclosure of private facts,” but that has proved to be a weak foundation for suits against the individuals who do the posting, he said. If the photos were acquired illegally, as Coluccio believes, she could have a stronger case, he said.
The editor of one of the celebrity gossip Web sites that posted the pictures, www.idontlikeyouinthatway.com, directed questions about the post to the site’s legal disclaimer, which says the images posted are believed to be in the public domain, but that it will remove any images proved to be under copyright. It also says that the Web site “posts accurately reported facts, as well as rumor, conjecture and gossip.”
Thanks to the duo’s introduction on “Idol,” Coluccio has been on the receiving end of Internet infamy as well. The show’s producers aired scenes that pitted Barba and Coluccio against each other, and Coluccio thought they made her look like a flirtatious, jealous, spoiled brat. Coluccio said she gets more than 3,000 MySpace messages a week, many calling her nasty names.
No matter how tough it’s been, Coluccio doesn’t regret the experience. “‘We both went to fulfill a dream but were made into characters,” she said. “‘American Idol’ is the fakest show on TV. We’re so real and down-to-earth, and I wish people could see that.”
Miss USA Tara Conner, who checked out of rehab on Jan. 21, says she used cocaine prior to her treatment. This is SO not surprising!
“Cocaine was one of the drugs that I did use. It’s hard to look back at that,” she states. “I was an equal-opportunity [user] – I would try anything once.”
The 21-year-old Russell Springs, Ky., native spent 31 days at the Caron Foundation rehab facility in Wernersville, Pa., as part of a “second chance” offered to her by Donald Trump, co-owner of the Miss Universe organization, following press reports of underage drinking, drug use and promiscuity.
When asked about the rumored romantic escapades, she hedges: “I would talk to more than one guy at once – it doesn’t mean that I was sexually active with every one of these people.”
It was alcohol, she says, that had the biggest hold on her. Citing a family history of alcoholism, Conner says that for many years she was “a functioning alcoholic. If I got caught [drinking], I would stop – I was able to do that.”
(Conner also says in a Today interview airing Thursday, “I have done cocaine, yes.” According to the New York Post’s Page Six, Conner tells Matt Lauer she took antidepressants and other drugs that triggered an allergic reaction.)
Before rehab, she says, “I thought I needed to be around people, that I needed that acceptance.” Now, instead of going to clubs, she enjoys reading at home – a home she shares with a chaperone.
“I just can’t wait to get back to work,” she says. ” ‘I’m Miss USA, my name is Tara Conner, and I’m happy to meet you,’ you know? Life’s good.”
Another Miss USA tiara is changing heads. Ashley Harder, Miss New Jersey USA, has resigned because she is pregnant. Actually, the real reason she quit is because she can’t stand Donald Trump. They are all going to quit, one by one. [not really, heh]
Harder, 20, told the newspaper she voluntarily stepped down because it’s against pageant rules to compete while pregnant. She could not be reached for comment by The Associated Press.
Both the pageant and the runner-up for 2007 Miss New Jersey USA confirmed Monday that the reins have changed hands. Erin Abrahamson, 23, said pageant officials called her Friday to let her know she would be assuming the title.
“Whatever made her resign, I wish her lots of luck and hope she’s OK,” Abrahamson said of Harder, adding that pageant officials didn’t tell her why she would be taking over.
Harder’s resignation is the latest to hit the pageant.
Miss Nevada USA Katie Rees was stripped of her title after racy photos of her appeared on the Internet. Miss USA Tara Conner, who was caught drinking in New York bars when she was still underage, was allowed to keep her tiara after she agreed to go into rehab and undergo drug testing.
Harder, who was crowned in October, told the newspaper she’s expecting her child in “late summer” and plans to marry her live-in boyfriend.
Pageant spokeswoman Lark-Marie Anton confirmed Harder’s resignation, but would only say it was “for personal reasons.”
The Miss USA pageant is to be held on March 23 in Los Angeles. The winner of that competition goes on to compete in the Miss Universe pageant. Both pageants are owned by Donald Trump and NBC.
At least she didn’t quit because she was photographed shoving her tongue down another girls throat.
Even though Miss USA Tara Conner has received a second chance at living up to the image of her title, it sounds like her teenaged equivalent is getting no such luck from MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Driving).
Miss USA Tara Conner may have survived to reign another day, but at least one organization thinks that she’s tainted the image of “little sister” Miss Teen USA Katie Blair, and is cutting ties with Blair as a result. Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) announced Wednesday that it has ended its relationship with Blair, saying in a statement, “We do not feel, at this time, that Ms. Blair can be an effective spokesperson on underage drinking and will not ask her to represent MADD in future initiatives.”
Despite his famous tagline, “You’re fired!” Donald Trump decided to give Tara Conner a second shot instead of stripping the Miss USA title from her.
Donald Trump chooses not to fire Miss USA Tara Conner amid reports she has visited bars, though she is not yet 21. “I’ve always been a believer in second chances. Tara is a good person,” Trump said in a news conference Tuesday. “Tara is going to be given a second chance.”
As part of staying on as Miss USA, Conner has agreed to enter rehab.
Trump said, “until this morning, I didn’t know which way it was going to go.” But upon meeting her in his office, he said that saw her “good heart” and that she “got caught up in the whirlwind that all know as New York.”
“He didn’t have to keep me around,” a tearful Conner said at the news conference.
Motioning to Trump, she said, “He’s a very, very compassionate person, and I obviously learned that today.” I plan on walking out of this being the best USA you’ve ever seen. Thank you, you’ll never know what this means to me. I’ll never let you down.”
The organization’s president, Paula Shugart, said last week that officials would evaluate Conner’s “behavioral and personal issues to see what we can do to work with her and what we will do about her reign going forward.” Another spokewoman said Miss USA is considered a role model, and her conduct must reflect that. Behavior such as underage drinking is clearly prohibited.
The organizers of the Miss USA pageant said Thursday they are evaluating the “behavioral and personal issues” of the reigning winner and will decide her future within a week.
Pageant officials and Donald Trump, who co-owns the Miss Universe Organization with NBC, would not say what Kentucky native Tara Conner, 20, had done to prompt the serious evaluation. “I can’t really talk about it now,” Trump said. “But we have to make a decision. There is no question about that.”
Internet gossip Web site TMZ.com reported that pageant officials and NBC met Tuesday to discuss Conner’s alleged bad behavior, “including her conduct at New York City bars.” The Web site did not name its sources.
Miss USA is considered a role model and must act accordingly, said Lark-Marie Anton, spokeswoman for the Miss Universe Organization, which produces the Miss USA pageant. Behavior such as underage drinking is clearly prohibited, she said.
TMZ has learned that officials from the Miss USA pageant will make a “major announcement” today and may strip reigning Miss USA Tara Conner of her title due to inappropriate behavior.
Sources tell TMZ that executives from the Miss USA organization and NBC (which broadcasts the pageant) met Tuesday to discuss Conner and alleged incidents of her inappropriate behavior, including her conduct at New York City bars. While no one from the pageant would comment on the rumored troubles, several sources tell TMZ that a big announcement is expected some time Thursday. According to these sources, officials are extremely unhappy with the current Miss USA’s conduct in public.
Pageant rules say that if Connor is removed, first runner-up Miss California Tamiko Nash will assume the duties of Miss USA and complete the remainder of the beauty queen’s reign. When TMZ contacted a rep for Nash, we were told they could “neither confirm nor deny” that she would be taking over the title.
Pageant officials have released a statement on the matter:
The Miss USA Organization has issued the following statement: “Miss USA Tara Conner has not been dethroned. The Miss Universe Organization and Mr. Donald J. Trump will be evaluating her behavioral and personal issues to see what we can do to work with her, and what we will do about her reign going forward. Mr. Trump will make a determination and announcement within the coming week.”
Some additional photos of Tara Conner, Miss USA for at least a while longer:
Matthew Yglesias points out that, since Scarlett Johannssonn was very pretty at the age of 16, we should not use the term “pedophilia” when referring to Mark Foley’s hitting on boys of a similar age. I actually haven’t done that, so no correction needed.
Still, it does bring up an interesting debate that resurfaces from time to time. There was, for example, a big cross-blog discussion involving Dan Drezner, Atrios, Yglesias, and myself over three years ago on the topic, “Why is it that some celebrities under the age of eighteen can be universally acknowledged as sexy, whereas if that adjective is assigned to other underage but physically mature stars, people start leveling accusations of perversion and lechery?”
Anna Kournikova was a sex symbol very young and yet no one seemed to object to it. Indeed, it was controversial only in that some contended it was improper for her to get so much attention–and money–for her looks while much better but homelier tennis players suffered. Alyssa Milano, Drew Barrymore, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and the Olsen Twins entered the discussion as well. There are probably at least a dozen others that could be easily named.
Further, as I’ve noted many times over the years, it was not that long ago that girls were married and having children in early adolescence. Clearly, our cultural norms have radically changed in that regard, as people remain “children” longer, postponing jobs, marriage, children and other badges of adulthood for several additional years while attending school much longer.
On the other hand, the reaction to the Foley scandal has caught the Zeitgeist in a way that goes well beyond an ordinary sexual harrassment matter. The gay angle has clearly played some part in that, although I’m pretty sure people would still be appalled if a Congressman were coming onto 16-year-old girls who were working for him. His actions seem viscerally wrong in a way that, say, a grown NHL player hitting on Anna Kournikova did not.
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Related:
Well, she LOOKED 21 anyway, maybe older, and what’s more the clerk at the small store in this Coos County [Oregon] town says he was much distracted by what he called the young lady’s scanty attire. So distracted, he said, that he didn’t see the “Minor until 2007″ stamped on her driver’s license. She got the six-pack, and store owner David Cardwell got a $1,320 fine. The clerk had to pay $750.
[...]
Cardwell is not denying his employee erred, but says it was hardly fair. “This young woman was dressed in very provocative clothing more suited for the bedroom,” Cardwell said in a letter to the OLCC. “I would not allow my daughter to leave the house dressed in such a way.” He says the law should target clerks and servers, not the owners. “We feel we did everything right,” Cardwell wrote. “We trained (our clerk) correctly. We tested him correctly.”
But Gary Francis, the local OLCC agent who coordinates the stings and hires the decoys, isn’t persuaded. “Maybe he should have been looking at her driver’s license,” Francis said of the clerk. “It was a straight-up deal. By the numbers. No trickery at all.” He said the decoy was dressed in a tank top, attire many woman her age wear.
People who serve or sell alcohol in Oregon are required to card anyone who looks 26 years old or younger, Francis said. He wants the decoys to look like 18-, 19- or 20-year-olds, not a 40-year-old. “We are out there to see who is doing their job and who is not,” he said. He said female decoys can’t wear makeup or doctor their hair to look older. “This guy wasn’t paying attention,” Francis said. “If he would have looked at that young lady’s ID, he would have seen the big red box on her ID that said she was a minor until 2007. “DMV makes it easy. But if you don’t use the tools that the state provides, then you deserve to get caught.”
Cardwell disagrees. “They’re baiting. They’re disguising. They’re camouflaging them. They are trying to create a situation and trying to induce someone into taking the bait.” The store had never been similarly fined before.
“There’s a first time for everything,” said Francis.
Sadly, no photos accompany the story.
While one could certainly argue that it’s a waste of state resources to send out slightly underage decoys to entrap store clerks into selling them cigarettes, the giant red box on the ID cards should serve as a clue. Still, one could imagine the circumstances where a young store clerk would be distracted by a hot 20-year-old in a tank top. And a $750 fine is indeed rather draconian punishment for a first-time offender making minimum wage.
The Motion Picture Assn. of America (MPAA) said Thursday that its rating board will consider film depictions of smoking among the criteria for assigning movie ratings. Anti-tobacco activists have been pressing for an automatic R rating for films with smoking scenes, but MPAA chairman and CEO Dan Glickman rejected the proposal for a more nuanced approach. 
Underage hottie Hayden Panettiere, 17, used some of her superhuman powers to woo her 21-year-old “Laguna Beach” boyfriend Stephen Colletti out for a snack n’ smooch.
Her best friend and fellow “Idol” auditioner, Amanda Coluccio, said the tamer shots are of Barba, including a full-length shot of Barba naked, covered with rose petals, taken for a calendar she made for her boyfriend of several years. But the lewdest of the bunch, she is certain, are not Barba, a Red Bank Catholic High School graduate who had been studying architecture until she got her break on “Idol.”
